Author Confessions: To Be or not to Be

I was at a writer’s group years ago and another writer told me that we should avoid any version of “be” words: is, am/be, was/were/would.

That’s kind of like deleting the word “the” isn’t it? If you remember my blog post from September 2, 2024, I talked about all the kinds of verbs. The “be” verbs are helping verbs. Like many words, these verbs can be overused but do not need to be eliminated completely.

There are some reasons why you might modify these verbs. I will try to use real examples from my novel Root Beer and Roadblocks to see if I can improve on anything.

Stronger Verb is Available

Sometimes be verbs help along another verb, but occasionally there are other, tighter options.

What I wrote: The morning was a rush to get David off to school and make it to the oncology clinic on time. 

Another option: She rushed that morning to get David off to school and make it to the oncology clinic on time.  

Now that didn’t involve a different verb, just a different emphasis. The reality is a morning can’t be rushed. It is simply a morning. However as people we can be. So if I were to revise this novel that might be a better way to phrase it. Not bad the way it was but slightly tighter with the revision.

What I wrote: The bigger question was—did she have the courage to confess the truth to Johnny?

Another option: The bigger question remained—did she have the courage to confess the truth to Johnny?  Definitely using a stronger verb here.

Avoiding Passive Voice

My software used to warn me about passive voice and I’m not always the best at recognizing it. Some things are easier for some writers than others. Not all instances of passive voice should be shunned. Sometimes they are appropriate. However, the desire in fiction is for a more active voice. You can do a check on that through Grammarly if you download that to your computer (they have a free version) but I’ve found it not to be entirely accurate. If you question a phrase you can put it into a passive voice checker.

Avoiding “to be” or “was” can help eliminate passive voice but not even that is a perfect rule.

What I wrote: She took the clothes away to be washed, leaving Khloe to explore under David’s watchful eye.  (this is passive voice)

Another option: She left to wash the clothes, leaving Khloe to explore under David’s watchful eye.

Caution: There are many uses of to be that are not passive voice so eliminating them all is not the point. Minimizing passive voice is probably something I should cover in another post, but it really is not something I’m great at. (All the more reason for me to explore it, right?)

When to Avoid Changing a Be verb: 

When it changes the tense of the sentence as in continuous action verses past tense.

What I wrote: Johnny came out to schedule his next appointment, and Katie was at the desk.

Better option: Johnny came out to schedule his next appointment, and Katie was sitting at the desk.  This might have been a better way for me to write that sentence since it was a continuing action. She hadn’t just sat down. To say she sat at the desk could have been misleading.

When you might be substituing another overused verb.

What I probably wrote in a first draft: She felt overwhelmed with the number of people, but David stuck close and kept her up to date as to who was who. Felt is an often overused word and personally I’d prefer the was to the overused verb like felt.

What I wrote: She was overwhelmed with the number of people, but David stuck close and kept her up to date as to who was who. Even better would have been to describe what that experience was like physically and emotionally for her. (The Emotion Thesaurus!)

When it simply reads better with the be verb. As with any of the things an author can consider, readability is always king and if any version of “be” is appropriate and nothing else satisfies, then keep it.

What I wrote: He knelt down to embrace all three kids. Apolo was stuck in the middle.  I honestly cannnot figure out a better way to write that except to perhaps have him be squished which would be a more descriptive verb.

This obviously was bare bones but to be or not to be is a question that authors sometime need to wrestle with and oftentimes it isn’t as high on the list of things to worry about when writing, especially the first draft. The final version of Root Beer and Roadblocks contained:

• 758 instances of was,
• 197 instances of were,
• 162 instances of to be (mostly without being passive),
• 407 of be,
• 31 of am,
• 350 of is, and
• 323 of would. 

Compare that to other often used words in that novel:

• 2,982 uses of the
• 1,735 use of a
• 165 uses of an
• 523 uses of as

The be verbs cannot be completely eliminated because as helping verbs they make things click well and most readers don’t really even see those words. When I used to use AutoCrit these were not words they even flagged to be on the watch out for. Still, it’s worth having the discussion of to be or not to be and in most instances I’ll stand in favor of be words.