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Author Confessions: Love Takes Courage Part 2 of 3

Oct26
Reading Time: 3 minutes

Author Confessions: Love Takes Courage Part 2 of 3

Love takes courage in marriage but also in friendship.

One of the things that I struggle with is how people who claim to be Christians, can avoid God’s command that we love one another. Now if someone is abusive, I agree that space (physical and emotional) might be required but I believe we are in a time period where some people find solace in being a victim and being traumatized.

This is not to diminish anyone’s pain over past events. No parent is perfect, nor is any spouse, or friend.

“I am a victim therefore I will no longer have anything to do with you,” it is a often a cowardly stance to take. All this without ever confronting the person with why you believe you’ve been wronged. I’ve been guilty of this as well.

Years ago a woman at my church called me. I had been Women’s Ministry Director at the time. She was offended, stating I was snubbing her at church. It was not something I ever intended to do. I get in a zone and can sometimes not notice people because of that hyper-focus. I apologized to her for hurting her, even if I never intended to. Her hurt was real. After that I made a special point to seek her out on a Sunday and speak with her, if even only for a moment. I also told her that I admired her courage to call me and confront me with her hurt. I apol0gized and changed my behavior. I moved last year and don’t get to see her much anymore but I still hold her dear to my heart even more so because she had the courage to love me enough to help me grow and change.

I personally hate conflict. I’d prefer everyone be at peace and get along. However, having served in ministry I’ve had to navigate many conflict situations. It takes a deep concern and love for the other person to step into that and  I’ve never done it without much introspection and prayer so I can take ownership of where I might have erred in the relationship. Sometimes this has gone well. Sometimes it hasn’t and I’ve suffered verbal and spiritual abuse as they justify their sin. That closes the door to reconciliation for me. I can forgive. I can be friendly. But they can no longer be a friend.

When a relationship isn’t close it can be harder to want to resolve the conflict. What’s the point when walking away can be easy to do because they weren’t significant enough. Why make the time and effort if the relationship is disposable? Love isn’t really part of the equation at this point. But here’s my question: Shouldn’t it be? If we are believers in Christ, and someone offends us, confronting bad behavior in a loving way could help that other person grow.

I had this happen in ministry where I witnessed a pattern of behavior from a fellow leader. When I finally sat her down and told her what I saw and how much it grieved me because I know that her actions were not a reflection of how she wanted to be, it was received with gratitude. I’m not perfect either but when I fail I would hope people would love me enough to point out my blind spots.

This is hard in marriage because the choice to step away from the relationship is more complicated. It takes greater effort sometimes to fight to be heard and understood. Two people with differing opinions, pasts, filters through which they see the world, can struggle to come to an agreement or compromise. It’s easier when we truly believe two things 1) The other person is in my corner and loves me 2) The other person wants what’s best for us and the relationship.

As believers we should be seeking unity and love even with people we disagree with. In our polarized climate that can be hard. Not every dispute is life or death even though hyperbolic talk might make it seem so and draw imaginary lines in the sand. Love takes courage in friendships. A true friend should not be discarded easily.

 

Author Confessions: Love Takes Courage Part 1 of 3

Oct19
Reading Time: 3 minutes

Author Confessions: Love Takes Courage Part 1 of 3

This thought has been bouncing around my brain for some time and might take more than one post to unpack. So here it goes.

Love takes courage. Why? What could cause me to say that?

Well, for one, love can hurt. It leaves the loved one vulnerable to pain. Writing romance novels where a happily-ever-after ending is the goal, is frought with obstacles to getting there. Betrayal, lies, disappointment along with physical obstacles like distance, health etc, can interfere. And worst of all are the obstacles that lie within us that can take courage to deal with before we can truly embrace love.

It amazes me that a man or woman can find a mate, know them for a little while and then commit to loving them for the rest of their lives. With all the individual family history and baggage we each come with, our ability (or inability) to deal with conflict, our self-centeredness as humans, and of course the challenges that get thrown in our way, that kind of committment to love is a big ask.

Yet we do it. I will admit that my first marriage, love might not have been the original motivating factor but I sought to love and it wasn’t reciprocated. My neighbor is from India and her marriage was arranged but they seem to be happy together. Love can grow when people act out of love.

My husband told me he wasn’t sure he knew how to love. I told him love isn’t just a feeling. It’s not raging hormones screaming for satisfaction. Love is action. It is a choice. Every day. To do what is best for your partner. To sometimes sacrifice for them. It requires self-lessness instead of selfishness.

Love is not abuse in any way, shape, or form. It is not disparaging remarks or name calling. It is not control over finances, words, clothing, and the choices of another. It is not withholding affection or even medical care as a way to manipulate.

I’m primarily talking about love between adults here. Marriage being the culmination between a man and a woman. Two people who are of equal value in the eyes of God, but who have different gifts, talents, abilities to contribute to the partnership. The man’s primary role is to love, lead, provide, and protect the wife (and subsequent family). The woman’s role is not less significant but she must respect the role of the husband and enable him to do it well by supporting him. These are all love in action.

Love involves complete trust in the other person. Praying for them.  Encouraging them. Showing love by meeting needs such as those of their love language (words of affirmation, quality time, touch, acts of service and gift-giving).

All of that requires risk and courage. It means sacrificing a part of my heart, time, and energy to benefit my spouse. And the same for him.  I cannot love anyone else well without the help of the Holy Spirit.

This is a huge topic and I’m only scratching the surface. But love requires courage. Next week I’ll be tackling how it also requires the courage to confront when necessary.

Author Confessions: Creativity Requires Courage

Oct12
Reading Time: 3 minutes

Author Confessions: Creativity Requires Courage

As kids, we draw and color and it’s all considered great. I remember in preschool, coloring a drawing of grapes, green. Those were the only kind of  grapes I knew at that point because that’s what my mom bought. The teacher told me I was wrong. They should have been purple. It left a mark to the degree that I remember it all these (few) years later.

I love to be creative. It takes courage and reliliance to write a book and work through the publishing process. Edits can be scary and I internally carry some scars from some of those editors which mar my view of those stories. Until I read them again and am reminded that they are great. The process to get there for some of them, was messier than for others.

Pillow I made for a special anniversary.

Pocket of a bag I made.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I embroider and have made gifts with designs I’ve created. I don’t know all the possible stitches out there but I know enough to make some fun designs. I’ve made some bags that I use that have embroidered pockets. I’ve made pillows. It’s a hobby I enjoy. When it’s a pre-drawn design there is less fear than if I create my own. Creativity takes courage. The pillow above was based off a clip art image.

A few years back I watercolor painted huge flowers on our bedroom wall. That took courage. I’d never done it before! In our new home, my hubby wanted me to do something similar. I spent days painting but decided I didn’t like it and painted over it and began again. I won’t show you the first attempt–but this is the final one! I’m so happy with it! This one took me only five hours. The bed goes in the center of the wall and I already know how I’m decorating the middle.

Master bedroom wall – bed goes center.

I’ve also made cards and almost anyone I’ve gifted them to love them, but I often am far more critical. I know others make more complicated designs but it is a fun hobby.

When you see something beautiful, at a craft fair or anywhere else, even if you don’t want to purchase, please the the creator know that you appreciate the beauty because it took courage to not only craft it–but to put it out there for others to see.

God didn’t have fear in creating us and this beautiful world even though He already knew we would fall into sin and would need to rescue us. As much as I want to create beauty, in a garden, in my home, or through writing, embroidery, or making cards, or writing novels or anything else, God is the author of all beauty and I need to be clinging to Him and thanking Him not only for His creativity but for allowing me to create as well. I am able to overcome my fears and have the courage to create when I’m seeking Him first.

Do you enjoy creating anything? My husband fabricates things from scrap metal. While he’s not going for beauty, he finds a way to make things to serve a functional purpose. I admire courage he has to create as well. I would love to hear about what have the courage to create.

Author Confessions: The Church Matters Even in Fiction

Oct5
Reading Time: 3 minutes

Author Confessions: The Church Matters Even in Fiction

When I started writing my Orchard Hill Church series, I intentionally wanted a church to be the backdrop for all the main characters in the story because the church matters, even in fiction. The underlying connection in the Orchard Hill stories all comes back to the church. Why?

First of all,  the church is like a family in many ways, and to those who are devoted to following Jesus, the church is a foundational meeting place. Not all of them are safe places, or emotionally healthy, or possibly not theologically sound. I wanted to write about a church that could be the spiritually and emotionally healthy place for people to come. Because even if someone has had a negative experience with a local church, I wanted to make a fictional one where people could come and find a place to grow and belong regardless of life circumstances. Not as a substitute for the real church, but hopefully a template for someone to seek out in real life.

Secondly, accountability can play an important role in spiritual and emotional growth and maturity. In Pesto and Potholes, the first in that series, I wanted the church to be a safe place for Renata to find healing. She’d  been given bad information in a previous church (which does happen). Between help from a Women’s Ministry Director who guides Renata through her pain and a group of men who hold Tony accountable, the church played a vital role, not only in the emotional and spiritual growth of a couple but also their romance–but all in a way that honors God, not hormones.

Thirdly, I treasure the community of believers. While made of imperfect people, leaders and members alike, the church can and should be a force for good in our lives. Even writing Bratwurst and Bridges, where the main character was a pastor struggling with grief and identity I hoped to show that the church was made of fallible, struggling people, who sometimes fail. In Salsa and Speed Bumps – believers engage in judgement and condemnation without verifying the truth which has a painful consequence to our main characters, Stephanie and Roberto.

I’ve been wounded by people in the church. I’ve also experienced God using me in ways I never expected, by serving in the church and trusting healthy leadership. I’ve also had church leaders betray me and lie. Life is complicated and none of us are free from the impact of sin, or the tendency to sin or be influenced by toxic family histories. Even when things got tough, a former, no deceased pastor, had the axiom, “stay engaged through the pain.”

In a toxic church environment, people who are seeking truth and healing sometimes need to leave. We finally left a church where I walked away with some scars. We left more because we moved, but what should have been a much harder grief, instead brought relief. I’m grateful for the space of time in our new church which has restored my faith in the community of faith and where due to this season in my life, I can’t officially serve except to encourage people. No official ministry slot as I wait on God and test out the health of this community of flawed people. And it’s OK to be serving moment by moment as God puts me in a position to encourage or share truth from Scripture. I didn’t realize how much time I needed for healing.

Often in my stories characters will go to church and something, usually in a message, will spur them on to deeper faith and wiser choices in their walk to faith, or their walk of faith. I’ve tried writing without any faith line and failed. It didn’t work for me. The reality is, my faith is central to who I am. It is at my core and has to be expressed in my writing. And no matter how individuals at churches over the years have wounded me, I have used those moments to grow deeper in my faith with God, and thankfully, my love for the church at large.

The church matters, even in fiction, because faith is core to who we are as human beings, even if we don’t want to recognize the importance of the Creator who give us our next breath. It is always my hope that the stories will point to Jesus and that the Holy Spirit can draw them to Himself. Ultimately, my writing is an act of worship as I hope to encourage people to seek God or go deeper in their faith with him, all the while being entertained by a great story.

How do you view the church? Is it family to you? Or are you still finding that family? I’d love to hear about it and pray you find a place where you can be yourself as you grow in your relationship with God.

 

Author Confessions: Writing Animals in My Fiction

Sep28
Reading Time: 2 minutes

Author Confessions: Writing Animals in My Fiction

Sometimes an author writes a book and includes something that pops up in similar ways in subsequent books. I briefly talked about this two years ago and you can find that post on Easter Eggs here. 

Actors are told not to work with kids or animals because they might steal the show. Writing fiction is not necessarily different from that although children and animals can be an effective character in the plot that the author is weaving.

I had a pet in every one of the stories in the Black Diamond Gothic Regency Series. I had fun with the parrot, Peaches, in The Baron’s Blunder, who loved to say “Balderdash and fiddlesticks.” The bird was a humorous foil although I never gave information on what kind of parrot it was, it’s name indicates it might have been a Peach Crested Cockatoo, a bird I would have loved to have owned at one time but they are incredibly needy.

In The Virtuous Viscount, there was an adorable Yorkshire Terrier, named Charlie. Those were  more there as foils for the main characters, but when I got to Lord Phillip’s Folly, a crow named Duke had a stronger plot line and was integral to saving the heroine’s life.

Then in Sir Michael’s Mayhem, there was a ferret, named Fidget, who was a key partner for Sir Michael Tidley and essentilaly was a spy. Yes, I had a ferret, in the Regency time period, acting as a spy. Did you know a ferret if not de-scented can actually spray much like a skunk does? Fun fact that I found when I researched and used to humorous (if not odiferous) effect in the tale. There was as pet kitten in Lord  Harrow’s Heart, named Mittens who was essential to rescuing the little boy, Dartanian. Finally, in The Captain’s Conquest there was a lamb with black face and legs, named Skallywag! That little lamb was so fun to write, and in many ways a  challenge to given the journey Lucy and Captain Jared Allendale endured.

I did put a little dog, Cooper, in Donuts and Detours, that I fashioned after my dog Spatzle, a Maltese/Shih Tzu mix.

When I co-authored a story with DeeDee Lake, Operation: Skirmish, my main character, Eliza, had a Macaw, a large parrot,  named Ramsey, who refused to talk for a good portion of the story.

I’m currently writing a gnome story for next year that features a Sun Conure, a smaller parrot, but they can be quite noisy. I  considered getting one of those at one time.

Pets can become another character in the story and as such can move the plot in ways much like any other human character, or simply be a background player. I’ve enjoyed writing animals into my fiction, and hopefully, you, as a reader, have enjoyed meeting my menagerie!

Author Confessions: What About Mercy?

Sep21
Reading Time: 4 minutes

Author Confessions: What About Mercy?

I was participating in a Bible Study of the book In His Image by Jen Wilkin, that was looking at the communicable attributes of God (those God shares with us) and how He calls us to relect His image and character to the world around us. What about mercy? How does that work and why would I be writing about it?

Justice, mercy, and grace are connected.

  • Justice is getting what we deserve -punishment for our sin.
  • Mercy is getting what we don’t deserve – compassion, Jesus died in our place for our sins.
  • Grace is getting what we don’t deserve – salvation, love, relationship with God among many other blessings.

In Chapter 5, God Most Merciful, I totally understood and appreciated the concept of showing mercy to others. In my own thoughts and even experiences in the Christian church (writ large) we often tend to jump to judging instead of mercy. In other words, being compassionate when we hear someone’s story instead of rushing to judgement. When I wrote Pesto and Potholes and Salsa and Speedbumps, I wanted to explore this concept, along with other themes. Writing those books was my way wrestling with my own sinful rush to judgement instead of extending mercy. Even if I never say anything, the thoughts in my mind are equally condemning.

This is how it the book impacted me adversely. The author, Jen Wilkin made a few statements that I fully agree with. We need wisdom in dispensing mercy. She states on page 81, ” When our offender persists in sinning against us, we are wise to put boundaries in place…. Mercy never requires submission to abuse, whether spiritual, verbal, emotional, or physical.”

First of all, let me say how refreshing these words are. After many years in an abusive marriage, almost every marriage book I read failed to acknowledge the depth of pain an abused spouse might be enduring. Leslie Vernick has some great books that can help of you are in those situations: The Emotionally Destructive Marriage: How to Find Your Voice and Reclaim Your Hope, and How to Act Right When Your Spouse Acts Wrong. 

Gary Thomas’s blog post, Enough is Enough, was the first time I read anything that extended mercy to someone like myself. His premise is that the church has made an idol of the institution of marriage at the expense of the women (and men) who are suffering from abuse.

I believe that many rush to divorce without doing the hard work to make a marriage work. I resisted divorce and as a result lost friends over the years, being harshly judged for staying in a difficult marriage. I refused to divorce until GOD told me to. When He did, He gave me the courage to follow through and made a way through my fear. I had grieved the death of love in the marriage for years before. You might call me a heretic for stating God led me to divorce my spouse. Jewish leaders condemned Jesus as well for not following their prescribed religious beliefs.

After I filed for divorce, people would come to me, without knowing my story, and tell me I was wrong. My then-husband also called me an “evil, selfish, sinner.” I will only admit to the last one. I am a sinner. I have never claimed to be perfect in any relationship, but God’s mercy shields me from the consequences of that.

When I stayed, I was judged. When I left, I was judged. Thankfully the only opinion that matters on this is God’s.

Jesus’ grace brought me freedom, as well as newfound joy in my children’s lives once the weight of the verbal abuse was gone. He provided for our needs as I moved on in life, and eventually, brought a new love and life beyond what I could have ever dreamed or imagined possible. I intellectually understood God was good, but I doubted He would be good to me. I didn’t deserve it. His goodness to me throughout all that, apart from the condemnation from a few self-rightous folks, blew me away. Lavish, grace-love. That’s my Jesus.

When I read Jen Wilkin’s words, I had to fully own that I can too quickly rush to judgment of others instead of showing mercy and compassion. If I haven’t walked in their shoes, who am I to judge? I was blessed with godly and wise counsel before, during, and after my divorce, and even as I entered into a new marriage. God’s grace is overwhelmingly wonderful.

Even in church, I hesitate to state I was divorced because of the lack of mercy and rush to judgement many might think if not outright say. Even when I was divorced I thought of myself as single. The weight of shame was not part of who I was because I obeyed God, and continue to seek Him.

So, having read this, do you judge me? What about mercy? Does the your Christian faith have room for that? Mine doesn’t as much as I would like and I still struggle with that, even though I’ve experienced it so often from our great God. I’m growing, and hopefully you are too. The world needs more mercy and compassion.

 

Author Confessions: What My Dogs Teach Me About My Relationship With God, Part 6 of 7

Sep7
Reading Time: 3 minutes

What My Dogs Teach Me About My Relationship With God, Part 6 of 7

If you haven’t read my previous posts you can find them here, here, here, here, and here.

As I mentioned in my last post. A day after putting Cooper down, I found a rescue up for adoption, the breed I wanted. It was a puppy. I didn’t want a puppy but my husband did. We brought home a dog that was slated to be killed at a Wisconsin Amish puppy mill. He had a broken tail and a wonky jaw. Absolutely adorable.

TRAINING IS GOOD

After a few months I took dog obedience training with Oliver and a small group of people and their dogs. Oliver was a champ there, but not so much at home. The training was more for him than for myself. I still can’t get him to sit or lay down when I ask him to.

Training takes time, one-on-one time. Oliver is really good at is coming when I call him, and dancing for a treat. He’s pretty good at doing his business outside.

How much more do I need training? Not just for getting a dog to obey, but so that I can obey God? Time in His word, Bible study’s and small groups at church as well as Sunday worship all help me grow in my ability to grow more and more into the likeness of Jesus.

MENTORS ARE IMPORTANT

A week after we got Oliver, my husband had surgery. I figured Oliver needed a buddy, an older dog who could show him how to be a dog. We found Marley, a sweet old boy, whose owner was no longer physically able to care for him. He came with some bad teeth so he was a much happier dog after we had them removed. Marley helped Oliver understand how dogs do dog things.

I need people to mentor me and have been blessed with several over the years. It’s also good for me to mentor others as well, to encourage them on how to grow in their faith, and navigate a complex world filled with choices and decisions. We can’t navigate the Christian life on our own very well. Even as an author I need other writers to help show me new things, or point out where I might need to make corrections in my craft.

BE CAREFUL OF IDOLS

Marley wasn’t with us for long which saddened us greatly. I love my dogs but I firmly believe they are animals, not humans. Caring for them is caring for part of God’s creation and they bring much joy—and teach me so much. I don’t have an bottomless bank account though and cannot invest thousands of dollars to find out an old dog has dementia or a brain tumor. When Marley refused to take medication that seemed to calm him down and prevent him from possibly biting, his time was over and it still saddens me that couldn’t keep him longer. A dog that bites is a liability and we did as much as we could for as long as we could safely keep him in our home.

Before we needed to say goodbye to Marley, we could tell his time was going to be short. Oliver enjoyed having his big brother around so we started searching for another dog.

I can’t make any dog, or human, more important than God.

NEVER SAY NEVER

I decided long ago that I would never adopt an Amish puppy mill rescue. They are often traumatized and unsocialized and take a lot of effort and energy to rehabilitate. Oliver was only six months, almost too young to have been horribly impacted. The sweet shy puppy we adopted has become an energetic, happy, and almost too friendly dog, believing that everyone is his friend and wants to give him love and attention.

The rescue had some pure-bred Shit-zu puppies, all females, who had been slated for death because they weren’t producing enough puppies. Minnie Pearl (formerly Dolly Parton) was the last left to be adopted. Minnie was underweight, and had a lot of teeth removed. She was shy and submissive. No tail wags, but no snarls either. We adopted her because she needed love. I guess I needed to be reminded that God laughs when we say never.

Minnie has tested my patience, and my selfishness. Funny how a dog can show us our sin, right?

Do any of these lessons resonate with you? My dogs continue to teach me about my relationship with God and I hope I never stop learning.

Minnie Mentions: Rich Mullins: An Arrow Pointing to Heaven (Book Review)

Sep4
Reading Time: 3 minutes

Minnie Mentions: Rich Mullins: An Arrow Pointing to Heaven (Book Review)

As a younger rescue dog, I wasn’t around in September 19, 1997, when musician Rich Mullins died in a car accident. Mom says she remembers returning home to her apartment after being gone and her friend Kathi coming over and sitting her down to tell her about his death. She had always loved Rich’s music since she first heard Awesome God, but only got to see him in concert once or twice. His music became a lifeline for her in so many ways and to this day there are a few songs she sings to herself: Hold me Jesus, Bound to Come Some Trouble, The Love of God. When her grandmother was dying she played for her All the Way My Savior Leads Me, something she’d been working on for months in her guitar lessons. Unfortunately, she’s not picked up her guitar for years now and would not be able to figure out those complicated cords again without some serious help! I’ll attach a video of her singing it nine years ago.

With that anniversary of his death coming up she stumbled upon the book, Rich Mullins: An Arrow Pointing to Heaven by James Bryan Smith.  She also read Rich Mullins: Step by Step. That little book contains short essays by Rich. Mom read the biography over a long period of time, taking it in small chunks to savor it. The book is exceptionally well-written and contains behind-the-scenes stories of Rich’s life, experiences, thinking, and of course songs and how they came to be written.

Rich was an artist who felt deeply and thought philosophically and didn’t mind wading into the difficult concepts that beset living in a fallen world. He was flawed and imperfect, and not many people liked the way he looked at times, coming to concerts in torn jeans, barefoot, looking like a hobo. But his music was compelling and Mom still listens to it to this day, finding new meaning and depth to the lyrics.

This book was refreshing and highlights the burden an artist can carry when they seek to authentically follow Jesus and live out His teachings. The book has many underlined phrases because Rich was a soul who experienced life deeply and the author was personally acquainted with him. He includes stories from family and close musical artist friends.

Mom wouldn’t tell me much more because to try to summarize this book would be to cheapen the life that Rich lived and ministry he had. The beauty of his work is that it continues to not only inspire and draw people close, even today, but helps to fund further ministry to disadvantaged Native American children.

If you’ve never heard of Rich Mullins, I’d encourage you to listen to his music. If you want to be challenged in your walk with God, through the example set by Rich in the way he struggled and lived this life, then read Rich Mullins: An Arrow Pointing to Heaven. Because Mom liked it so much I’ll give it five bones, because I’m a dog and that’s what I do.

 

 

 

Author Confessions: What My Dogs Teach Me About My Relationship With God, 5 of 7

Aug31
Reading Time: 3 minutes

Author Confessions: What My Dogs Teach Me About My Relationship With God, 5 of 7

If you haven’t read my previous posts you can find them here, here, here, and here.

ALWAYS WELCOMED HOME

Spatzle began to exhibit signs of dementia and one day when he and Cooper had been out exploring, Cooper returned but I couldn’t find Spatzle. I drove all around the property looking for him and was about to take Cooper out to see if a Lhasa Apso could also be a bloodhound. Before I could do that, Spatzle came trotting through the backyard, happy as could be, filled with burdock. Oh, he had gone exploring all right! Of course, I welcomed my little prodigal home with delight and he suffered the consequences from his wanderings with a pretty intense brushing and a scissors to cut out all that burdock. He still gave me kisses and I, of course, was grateful he’d returned as dementia could have left him lost. After that I had to keep a closer eye on him.

What joy I had when my old dog returned from exploring beyond safe boundaries. He had no idea the dangers that could have been awaiting him. How much more does God try to protect us, but even when we get a little lost, He welcomes us back home with open arms.

DELIGHT IN PLAY

Cooper did well as a dog in our home but when the time came to put Spatzle down, I was concerned that Cooper would be the one grieving. He wasn’t. We of course were heartbroken and I wondered if I would need to find another dog. I didn’t. Cooper became a better dog being an only.

Cooper loved his tennis ball. I would toss it down the hall and it would bounce on the door there and he would run, grow at it and then pick it up and run back to the living room, drop it, growl at it, pick it up and then run back down the hallway. I did have a spare in case he decided he’d rather chase the ball than carry it. He would not play this game outside. We discovered a lazer pointer was even more fascinating for him. We had a routine of him chasing the red dot down the hall and back and forth every night. It was his treat at the end of the day for being a good boy.

What does that teach me? God delights in giving us good things. Rest and play are as important as duty and service. While I can’t quote Scripture and verse on that, in the book of Zephaniah 3:17 it says: “Adonai your God is in your midst— a mighty Savior! He will delight over you with joy. He will quiet you with His love. He will dance for joy over you with singing.” (TLV). God delights in us as much as I delight in my dogs, or my children when they were little and playing. How much more when I’m resting and enjoying this world He created?

Cooper was an amazing dog and when his health failed it broke our heart to put him down. My husband was due to have surgery so we had determined to wait before finding another dog.

That lasted one day. Obviously God had more to teach me.

Do any of these lessons resonate with you? My dogs continue to teach me about my relationship with God and I hope I never stop learning.

Author Confessions: What My Dogs Teach Me About My Relationship With God, 4 of 7

Aug24
Reading Time: 3 minutes

Author Confessions: What My Dogs Teach Me About My Relationship With God, Part 4 of 7

If you haven’t read my previous posts you can find them here, here, and here.

JOYFUL

When my dogs wag  their tales, that is an indication they are happy. Whether it is because they see someone who might  pet them, or give them a treat, or simply because I came home, they exhibit joy. My current pup, Oliver, always seems happy and a neighbor commented on it. I told him that if he’s not happy, he’s resting. He can go from zero to 100 in no time flat from contentment to pure joy. I would love to be more like that. Dogs are in the moment, fully present for whatever is happening. And joy is a large part of that. They don’t focus on negative possibilities, but only on the great thing that is happening right now. A lesson I would do well to emulate.

FAITHFUL FOLLOWER

Benji was old when we got him, a Bichon Frise/Shih tzu mix. He was my shadow and followed me everywhere. He slept in a bed under my desk.  If I went to the bathroom, he would stand in the doorway to make sure I was OK. No matter where I went, he was there.

Even in the kitchen, often getting underfoot.

I want to be God’s shadow. I want to faithfully follow Him everywhere.  Benji had issues and once tried to bite my foot when I bumped him. I don’t want to be a follower of God who snips at God when He surprises me with a new direction. Yet, how many times will I grouse when things don’t quite go the way I had planned?

RUNNING JUMP

Benji was pretty spry for an older dog, but cracked us up with how he would back up and take a run before jumping up on furniture to be with us. God doesn’t mind that we sometimes need a warm up to get moving and connecting with Him.

IN YOUR FACE

Benji, once making it to my lap, would often just put his face right in front of mine. It didn’t matter if there was a laptop open, he would push His way forward to get my attention. God wants me seeking His face too. He’s never too busy for me, and I shouldn’t hesitate to come to Him just to be close. No treats expected, just love.

TWO BY TWO

Benji and Spazle played together. It was the first time I’d ever seen Spazle really play other than the tug of war we used to do when I would come home. We lived in the country and I would let them go outside off the leash. I would find them walking back from down the lane, side by side, stopping to sniff something, or just happily trotting together. It was so sweet to see them. This happened with Cooper as well. Such a joy to see!

How much more do I need others as I go about this life. Having someone to serve with, or take a walk with helps keep me on the right path, but also can provide great joy. I’m grateful for those God has put in my path on this journey.

Benji helped Spazle to live a good life while he was with us but eventually Benji bit me—hard. A dog with that kind of unprovoked bite is a liability and we needed to put Him down. We all grieved deeply. Benji was a pain in the neck, needing a belly band all day long and crate at night, but he was still sweet. We only had him eighteen months.

After Benji died, Spatzle grieved deeply and lost some of the pep in his step. They would play together, and take walks down the lane. It took several weeks scouring all the rescue and adoption sites. I need a dog that doesn’t shed, and we wanted and older dog, figuring a younger dog, while we might have it longer, would be more stressful for an old dog to deal with.

We found Cooper, a Lhasa Apso mix. Their relationship was different, but they still enjoyed those walks!

Do any of these lessons resonate with you? My dogs continue to teach me about my relationship with God and I hope I never stop learning.