Author Confessions: Are You Seeking God’s Hand or His Heart?

Oliver Maltese/shih tzu mix.
When we got Oliver, he was a six-month-old puppy. I poured love on this dog and he became quite devoted to me. We did obedience training (more for me than him!) and the trainer didn’t think she could work with him because he loved me so much. Oliver understood she had treats though and performed beautifully for her and then quickly returned to me.
Oliver is motivated by praise as well as treats and I rarely give him the treats but lots of praise. His sister, Minnie, however, has been trained more by following Oliver as she hasn’t been motivated much by praise or treats. Two years in and she still will not take a treat from my hand. She will wag when I praise her but her stubborn shih-tzu heart refuses to do anything other than what she desires to do.
Years ago when I was attending a prayer retreat, the leader asked this question. Are you seeking God’s hand or his heart?
Oliver will jump into my lap because he longs to be close to me. He loves
me. Of course he wants to snuggle and be petted too, but he’s often content to stretch out next to my legs because more than anything he longs to be with me.
He will dance for a treat though, but he doesn’t beg for them. He will go to my husband for the treats because Ben has conditioned the dog to do so. A previous dog of ours would go up to my husband in the kitchen and sneeze. Ben would give him a treat. Our dogs go to Ben for his hand, not his heart.
The dogs come to me more for my heart than my hand.
Of course we are told we are to seek God and pray to Him. Prayes of thankgiving, confession, requests, and even just sharing our lives.
Ultimately, as a believer, I long to hear God say, “Well done, good and faithful servant.” Yes, God rewards us. The list of all the things I did for God should come after gratitude to Him for all I was able to do because He enabled me to, because I long to please Him.
That doesn’t mean I don’t pray for my children, or the health of friends or others who I know are struggling. I made a chart so I can be more intentional to pray for people outside of when I sense God is leading me to pray, which He often does.
I confess I’m often selfish in my prayers, seeking God’s hand more than His heart. Selfish in asking for His Wisdom, for the Holy Spirit to lead and guide in my conversations and relationships. One of my favorite psalms is Psalm 19 and verse 14 in particular: “Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be acceptable in Your sight, O Lord, my rock and my Redeemer.” I find myself in an odd loop of seeking His hand so as to please His heart. A verse before that David prays, “Who can discern his errors? Acquit me of hidden faults. Also keep back Your servant from presumptuous sins; Let them not rule over me;” I’m not wrong in seeking His hand, His pierced hands that testify to His death for my sins.
Someone asked me what they could pray for me. If you could ask for just ONE thing to be prayed for, would it be for a specific physical need for yourself or someone else? Ultimately, my prayer would be David’s that by the power of the Holy Spirit, my thoughts and words, my inner dialogue, the depth of my heart where sin likes to wallow, would be acceptable in His sight because I want to honor Him more than anything else.
So how about you? Are you seeking God’s hand or His heart? Seeking God’s heart gives us His hand, because we cannot do it without the help of the Holy Spirit.
Thankfully, God knows my heart, my mind, my personality and all the quirks that make me uniquely–me. I’ve asked Him to help me mature, grow, and change and I’ve also asked that He be gentle with me. Sometimes He uses circumstances to force change in my life that I might have resisted. Or He leads me on a path that I think will logically be a good thing and in the process I struggle with the necessary changes that are a necessary part of the process.
I’m not ready to step back on stage to sing. I’m not that great of a vocalist. I don’t know if God will call me into that ministry in our new-to-us church. I’ve done a variety of ministries within previous churchs and it’s possible God may have something new lined up for me. Like a kid eager to open gifts at Christmas, I wait, trusting that He has something beautiful in store.
This year I do not have a Christmas gnome novella releasing as I focused on one I co-authored with DeeDee Lake called Mission: Matrimony, the last of our military romance series. I also finished, with great joy, writing Sealed With a Kiss, a contemporary Christmas romance based on letters from WWII that had been germinating for years. With planning a house, there wasn’t time to produce another novella. Both of those should release this November, 2026.
When I wrote
Life is full of hardships and suffering and our happily-ever-after ending comes when we are reunited with the holy Triune God and revel in His glorious presence.
As Easter nears we will feel the weight of Christ’s sacrificial death on the cross but we endure that momentry discomfort because we know what comes three days later when Christ emerged victorious from the grave. Life is still filled with ups and downs, however, we, as believers, hold on to the hope of His calling us home or His triumphant return. We hold on to that hope. Hebrews 10:23 says, “Let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess, for He who promised is faithful.”
This was a one time only event and was the salvation for all. Weather might be fickle but Jesus’s work on the cross was final. We remember and refect year after year. Jesus never retracts His promises to those who submit to His lordship over their lives.
Soon, however, the walls will have insulation and be drywalled and we’ll get flooring laid. Eventually the outside stuff will be done and I am eager to plant seeds and bulbs. Maybe I won’t have pretty flowers this year, but I have hope for some of them.
In Scripture, pearls were highly valued. We are not to toss them before swine and a man sold everything to buy a field where he found buried pearls. Pearls themselves are interesting because they are dirt that has been encapsulated over time as a defense against an intruder. An oyster’s refuse becomes a person’s treasure.
There are many other things we can treasure, obviously rocks are not my main desire in life. Anything I might hold as more important than the treasure of Jesus Christ and His extravagant gift of salvation through death on the cross, and His miraculous resurrection, is trash. Sometimes, I’m my own biggest stumbling block to my faith.
Sin is going to infiltrate our stories because we can’t escape sin and it’s impact on our lives in this world. Sin brings about conflict and navigating that conflict makes a story insteresting. Having said that an author needs to avoid elevating any kind of behavior that might be construed as more destructive. For instance, in my
Normalizing destructive behaviors
piece of fiction. The first sentence, paragraph, five pages, might determine whether a reader keeps going. As an editor, I’m often generus enough to read through chapter 3. When editing a book its possible that the real story starts there and I’ll need to tell the author to revise and delete the first two chapters. When I started out writing, I had to do this myself when I realized my error and a kind mentor pointed it out to me. Nothing wasted, but it would have been if it had gone to print that way.
Lack of change or growth in the main character
We have a firm foundation in Jesus Christ. He is the solid rock, the foundation upon which His followers base their faith. But like me stumbling over blocks of broken bedrock, it is easy for even a believer to stumble on parts of His teaching. None of us wil be perfect to be sure, but some stumble over even basic things. For instance: Jesus is the Word of God. I heard someone proclaim that she only followed Jesus and didn’t need the Bible. That shocked me since Jesus relied heavily on Scripture as did His followers and he is the WORD made flesh.
People are messy and even Jesus had to face the people around him being greedy, prideful, arguing, betraying, but also listening, learning, and growing to the degree that they were able to go out and change the world with the gospel.They taught that He had come to die for our sins, and rose again, ascended ot heaven and is our Savior and Lord. In a world of shifting sand, and opinions being touted as facts, Jesus Christ is the Rock we all need to stand on and cling to. Only in Him can we find stability.
So what has become a stumbling block in your life? Social media? News? Political opinions? Church? A part of Scripture that is convicting you? A fellow Christian who fails to live up to what you think a Christian should be, or has failed you in some way due to where they are at on their own sanctification journey?
Around the Nothern Hemisphere, poor little groundhogs will be hauled out of their cozy burrows so humans can see if there’s a shadow. It’s a funny tradition and other nations around the world have different ways to predict the end of winter. The reality is, the idea that winter will end immediately is ridiculous. It’s usually six weeks more before we can see the light at the end of the tunnel with winter. Groundhog Day is a nice way to pause and give a little hope to each other that spring will come.
1 Corinthians 1:3-4 says: