Tag Archive | questions

Author Confessions: Getting To Know You

Apr6
Reading Time: 4 minutes

Author Confessions: Getting To Know You

When we meet people, there is often a process of “getting to know you,” that takes place. For most of us we don’t blurt out our entire life’s history at a first meeting. We share information, bit by bit, as we deem someone is safe to share with. The superficial before the deeper, more intimate secrets, we might carry. That’s true in fiction as well.

I’ve mentioned before that I write by the seat-of-my pants. I will do a back page blurb and have my two main characters and inciting incident where they meet and then I eagerly jump in and write. I can write fast when I put my mind to it. Not as fast as some but it is a matter of discipline. The reality is when I’m excited about something I can’t wait to get back to it!

That’s the definition of an ideal job, right?

I wish I could say that every part of writing and editing is pure, unadulterated joy. It’s not. It can be grueling and hard. Grit your teeth and git-‘er-done type of work. However, the initial excitment of starting a story, especially when it flows and the characters are engaging, can be so much fun to write.

I’m often too impulsive to do a basic character interview with my main characters so I jump right in and let them surprise me when they reveal parts of their past that I didn’t know. Sounds mysterious, right? It’s a creative process. I pray that I’m following where the Holy Spirit leads as I write stories that I hope and pray will give glory to God.

This year I do not have a Christmas gnome novella releasing as I focused on one I co-authored with DeeDee Lake called Mission: Matrimony, the last of our military romance series. I also finished, with great joy, writing Sealed With a Kiss, a contemporary Christmas romance based on letters from WWII that had been germinating for years. With planning a house, there wasn’t time to produce another novella. Both of those should release this November, 2026.

Space opened up in my schedule and I’ve longed to write a romance for Quincia Bellpepper. Puck’s twin sister in Gnomebody But You, needed her own story and perhaps I should start writing it. This time I decided to do a character interview with Quincia and her love interest, Jinx Jingleheimer. That takes prayer and time. Real life people don’t give up all  their secrets at once and neither do fictional ones. I should always do this and my writing would be better for it.

When I wrote Sir Micheal’s Mayhem, it was probably the first time I’d done a character interview. Something as simple as the answer to the question, “Do they have any scars and how did they get them?”, resulted in a focal point in the story that revealed secrets and brought the couple back to the spot. I won’t give anything else away, you’ll have to read it to find out, but Sir Michael and Katrina are one of my favorite couples, maybe because I got to know them so well during that interview process.

There was another reason to do an interview for the gnome novella. Gnomes have unique names and I needed to map out family and friends with their requisite names! Picking names is always part of the fun for any story, but the names in the gnome novellas adds whimsy to the tale. It is no different with this one! And even though I’m the one who comes up with their backstories, they still reveal themselves to me in a deeper way through this process. Not everything in that interview will show up on the page but it might influence their actions and choices. Eventually the reader might be privy to the why they behaved as they did. The slow unveiling of a characters past makes the story more enjoyable instead of dumping their individual backstories in the first chapter. A reader wants to experience the adventure, not read their biographies.

If you are an author or aspiring author who would like to write a character interview and acquainted with your characters before you write, there are likely some examples on line. Or you can email me at silygoos@gmail.com and ask me to send my blank chart that I developed for couples (I might have a single one as well). Since it’s a Word doc file you can modify it to your heart’s desire. I’ve taken what others have done and made my own but I don’t proclaim to own rights to it. You might find other questions you’d like answers to.

If you’re a reader, I hope you enjoyed getting a peek behind-the-scenes of an author’s “Getting to know you,” process. I hope the characters that spring from that will bring you a few hours of enjoyment, and inspiration.

Author Confession: Listen more than You Speak

Jul22
Reading Time: 3 minutes

Author Confession: Listen more than You Speak

This is a difficult thing for many of us to do, me included. My husband and I were at an anniversary event and many there were deaf and using sign language to communicate. My husband is pretty good at signing his conversations, but admitted to one hearing interpreter that he can speak sign better than read it. I quipped that he has a hard time with that when it comes to talking and listening as well. Me? Well, I could only watch unless someone translated any of it for me.

My husband was surprised but the woman responded: “Preach it.” My husband is quite a talker. Maybe it’s the yougest son, clown aspect of his extraverted personality. He processes everything out loud. It’s the way he solves problems, by talking them out. I never have to wonder what he’s thinking! He is getting better at listening as well.

Most psychology theorists would say that personality is fairly stable, but I used to to be much more like my sweet hubby. I would talk a lot. I could relate anything you said into a story of my own. Perhaps not the best social practice, however, but I think I had a desperate need to be heard and understood. Years of verbal/emotional and other abuses, however, tempered that part of my personality. I became an author and more introverted. My training in Counseling Psychology also trained me how to listen, and ask questions to help others.

There is an axiom out there: God gave us two ears to listen and one mouth to speak so use your ears more than your mouth.

This could also be applied to our converstations with God. We often want to fill up that time with our thoughts, wishes, prayer requests, praises but how often are we good at just sitting and listening to Him? It’s harder in many ways than to do that with another person. I struggle to do this. My brain is pretty easily distracted.

I think there is a depth of comfort that must exist between two people, of trust and love, when the spaces between words can be long. Where silence hangs there not in a threatening way, but in comfort and peace. When my husband and I take long car rides we don’t often listen to music. Some of that is because it intereferes with attending to conversation, but also we have some distinctively different preferences in musical styles, with mine being far broader. It is not uncommon for us to sit for miles and miles in silence. I’ve managed to do writing on trips like this and he’s managed (when I’m driving) to make out notes and phone calls for projects he’s working on. Sometimes when I’m writing on my laptop, he will be driving and silently praying as he is a faithful intercessor for many.

Maybe being an author has made the listening a little easier. Don’t get me wrong. In the right situation and some of my favorite topics I can become a chatty Cathy. Given that I prefer more in-depth conversations with those in my inner circle, it can be more challenging for me to step out of my comfort zone to talk to people I don’t know in a more superficial setting. I almost have to psych myself into that, but when I do I try to find a way in to the conversation and make it about the other person. I’ve heard many wonderful stories that way and have been able to encourage others. As much as my husband or I want to be seen and known, so do  most other people, and they are also waiting for someone to care enough to listen to them.

As an author, that is a gold mine of ideas and concepts and story lines. It helps me explore heartbreak and joys or challenges that I’d never understood before.

Proverbs 1:5 says: “A wise man will listen and increase his learning, and a discerning man will obtain guidance.” Listening, being fully present with someone, takes effort and work. In our rushed, social media society, that is a hard discipline to learn and practice. Maybe getting older, and a little trauma, has made that easier for me, but to be honest, sometimes I’m too self-centered or lazy to make that effort with someone I’m not well acquainted with. Any time I make that effort, I’m rewarded with knowing I showed kindness to someone and I always learn something new and who knows when or where that will show up in one of my stories.

So this is a reminder to me and maybe to you as well if you struggle with this. Today, try to listen more than you speak and see what happens. You might be surprised at the treasures you’ll unearth in the process and the impact you might have on someone’s life.

Rethinking Fresh Starts

Jan1
Reading Time: 3 minutes

I’m not a New Year’s resolution kind of gal. God leads and I follow. I recognize I cannot reach any goal without Him. If I set a “start date” that is my own, for example, “On January 1st I will eat no more sugar,” I’ll sabatog myself. Maybe that’s just me. I’m trying to get over my all-or-nothing mentality.

I’ve been working out for weeks already. I didn’t wait for January 2nd.

I’ve been drinking more water, and less soda, for months with the use of an app on my phone to remind me. What a difference that has made in my life! I sleep longer at night which I would never have expected.

My foot was giving me pain so I didn’t wait until the new year to start seeing a doctor or getting physical therapy. I had met my deductible for 2023 so I wanted to get as much of that done while it was fully paid for before January 1st. I’m practical!

We don’t need a date on a calendar to motivate us to do good things for ourselves or others. We are called to live that way every day.

Not that this can’t be a time for reflection. Here are some possible questions to ask yourself:

  • How did I grow in 2023? What lessons did God teach me during this year?
  • Where do I see a need for growth in 2024? Realize God is often gentle and slow in helping us make those changes–for our own good.
  • What would you like to do differently in 2024? List the practical steps to get there. I find a big goal is paralyzing. I need to break it down into smaller steps if I hope to achieve anything worthwhile.
  • What do you do well? Go ahead, Brag on yourself to yourself. Instead of only looking at things that need improvement, what are you already doing that you can be grateful for? This was eye opening for me when I did it a few months ago after seeing a therapist who said “I don’t think you give yourself enough credit for the good things you do.” So go ahead, acknowledge what you do well. Yes, even if you make your bed every morning – write it down! Did you clean up the kitchen last night and get the dishwasher running before hitting the sack? Write it down. Did you manage to keep your kids fed and clothed? (I know it sounds silly but this is an accomplishment!). Write it down! See how many good things you already are doing! Seeing success will help motivate you in whatever other goals you set for yourself.

Accountability can be helpful. Or tracking your progress. I put in my app every glass of water I drink. It’s validating to see the number go up every day and I can smile when I reach my goal. I make a list every morning of tasks I’d like to try to accomplish and cross those off as I do them. If I do something else – I add it and cross it off. It motivates me to keep moving.

  • What about your pace of life? I’ve tried to have a healthy margin in my life. Like words on the pages of a book – that blank space is calming. When you have room to move into the margin on those occassions when life throws you a curve ball, it helps. Some days I can be very productive and then sometimes the next day I need to do more resting. Reading. A hobby. Lunch with a friend or a phone call to someone I care about. Life isn’t all about getting tasks done. A former pastor of mine said: “Tasks aren’t about getting things done–they are about  getting people done.” So how are my tasks helping me to grow? Over the years I’ve learned that a slow day, with less to check off, is not me being lazy, but is just as important as the busy days. I’m getting “me” done. Time for my brain to unwind as well as my body, is important.

Happy New Year. It’s a new chapter in your life and while God is ultimately writing your story, He does give you the pen. Make your story one you would want to read on December 31, 2024.