Author Confessions: My Journey to Faith
It dawned on me I never shared how I came to have a relationship with Jesus, so figured now was as good a time as any.
I was raised in Wisconsin and am the oldest of 6 children. As a child I would pray and was drawn to God. Even in private religious school I couldn’t seem to get close to Him and longed for that. My journals from way back then are filled with prayers and longing for Him (See? I was a writer way back then!). When I got to public high school I heard some kids talk about Campus Life/Youth for Christ and the meetings and concerts they would go to. They thought I was a Christian. So did I! I kept begging to be invited.
That first meeting they talked about misconceptions people have about Christianity and it was the first time I understood that I could have a personal relationship with Jesus. No mediator. I already understood that I was a sinner and that Jesus died for my sins, but longed to be close to God and didn’t know how to get there. Now I did! I prayed that night and my life was drastically changed. I was fifteen.
A week later I was in the local Christian bookstore to purchase a Bible. I ran into the director of Youth for Christ and told him my experience. He said, “It sounds like you’ve been born again.” I’d never heard those words before but it sounded right. I began devouring Scripture and attending meetings to learn and grow in my faith. The first Bible verse I ever memorized as a new believer was “Draw near to God and He will draw near to you.” (James 4:8). I became eager to share what I was reading and learning with my family, wanting them to come to know Jesus. I confess I was overzealous and obnoxious. My mother insisted I talk to their church leadership who then informed me I could not read the Bible without him guiding me. My parents forbade me from reading Scripture.
I wanted to honor my parents but realized from what I had already read in the scriptures, that my primary duty was to honor God. So, I read my Bible, but didn’t talk about it much at home. I continued to attend the church of my parents but also would attend a church that preached the gospel. I began to see how the religion I was brought up in didn’t square with what I was reading.
When I was 18, I was baptized by immersion and stopped attending my parent’s church. Funny note, the church I was attending didn’t have a baptismal. They would use one at another church building, but that June they hadn’t heated the water. I was instead baptized in a neighbor’s backyard swimming pool. At least it was warm!
I’ve been walking with God for 45+ years now. He has been with me through all the ups and downs of life, leading and guiding me, often out of my comfort zone. I could tell countless stories where He has worked and done sometimes even small things to show His love and power to me, and that even when I was in a difficult place, He hadn’t forgotten me. That includes leading me to my husband, Ben. God’s fingerprints are all over our meeting and courtship. I cannot imagine going through life without Jesus.
When I started writing I couldn’t help but have faith be a key part of any story. I tried once to write a story without it and failed and had to rewrite it. The faith line in Whitney’s Vow is not blatant, but it is there!
We recently moved and found a new church. God has taken the brokenness of the past and given me renewed joy in worshipping and seeking Him in this new season of life. We might be building a house (with God’s help!) but He’s still doing a remodeling project in me.
Notice I haven’t mentioned any denomination or religion in my post. That is by design. Christianity is not about a religion but a relationship and I’m so glad!
Psalm 19:14 is the prayer of my heart: “Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be acceptable in Thy sight, O LORD, my Rock and my Redeemer.”
What’s your journey to faith in Jesus?
If I look in the mirror, I see an image that is, well, me. But if that mirror is cracked, the image is distorted. When glass is cracked the ability to see through it clearly to make out objects on the other side, is hard to make out. Broken mirrors and glass refract light all over in new ways.
I wonder if someday, when I’m before God, if the fractured glass will finally fall to the ground to be swept away by His grace and love and I will finally be the full, complete, whole person He designed me to be. I like that thought. It makes the fractures seem less of an iconvenience and more of a part of a beautiful testimony of God’s work in my life. Fractured faith isn’t failure. It’s growth.
If you want to live a more vibrant walk with the Lord, I cannot recommend this book highly enough. While
Thankfully, God knows my heart, my mind, my personality and all the quirks that make me uniquely–me. I’ve asked Him to help me mature, grow, and change and I’ve also asked that He be gentle with me. Sometimes He uses circumstances to force change in my life that I might have resisted. Or He leads me on a path that I think will logically be a good thing and in the process I struggle with the necessary changes that are a necessary part of the process.
I’m not ready to step back on stage to sing. I’m not that great of a vocalist. I don’t know if God will call me into that ministry in our new-to-us church. I’ve done a variety of ministries within previous churchs and it’s possible God may have something new lined up for me. Like a kid eager to open gifts at Christmas, I wait, trusting that He has something beautiful in store.
Life is full of hardships and suffering and our happily-ever-after ending comes when we are reunited with the holy Triune God and revel in His glorious presence.
As Easter nears we will feel the weight of Christ’s sacrificial death on the cross but we endure that momentry discomfort because we know what comes three days later when Christ emerged victorious from the grave. Life is still filled with ups and downs, however, we, as believers, hold on to the hope of His calling us home or His triumphant return. We hold on to that hope. Hebrews 10:23 says, “Let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess, for He who promised is faithful.”
This was a one time only event and was the salvation for all. Weather might be fickle but Jesus’s work on the cross was final. We remember and refect year after year. Jesus never retracts His promises to those who submit to His lordship over their lives.
Soon, however, the walls will have insulation and be drywalled and we’ll get flooring laid. Eventually the outside stuff will be done and I am eager to plant seeds and bulbs. Maybe I won’t have pretty flowers this year, but I have hope for some of them.
In Scripture, pearls were highly valued. We are not to toss them before swine and a man sold everything to buy a field where he found buried pearls. Pearls themselves are interesting because they are dirt that has been encapsulated over time as a defense against an intruder. An oyster’s refuse becomes a person’s treasure.
There are many other things we can treasure, obviously rocks are not my main desire in life. Anything I might hold as more important than the treasure of Jesus Christ and His extravagant gift of salvation through death on the cross, and His miraculous resurrection, is trash. Sometimes, I’m my own biggest stumbling block to my faith.
Sin is going to infiltrate our stories because we can’t escape sin and it’s impact on our lives in this world. Sin brings about conflict and navigating that conflict makes a story insteresting. Having said that an author needs to avoid elevating any kind of behavior that might be construed as more destructive. For instance, in my
Normalizing destructive behaviors
I’m not certain how or if I’ll get to connect with my kids in person this year. I made their gifts (alluded to that in my last post). Something personal but definitley not cheap. I would love to be there when they open that package and see the expressions on their faces, but I am trying to be realistic–it may not happen. They don’t seem as motivated. The best gift this year would be time and a hug from my kids.
Christmas chaos.