Tag Archive | verbs

Author Confessions: To Be or not to Be

Oct21
Reading Time: 4 minutes

Author Confessions: To Be or not to Be

I was at a writer’s group years ago and another writer told me that we should avoid any version of “be” words: is, am/be, was/were/would.

That’s kind of like deleting the word “the” isn’t it? If you remember my blog post from September 2, 2024, I talked about all the kinds of verbs. The “be” verbs are helping verbs. Like many words, these verbs can be overused but do not need to be eliminated completely.

There are some reasons why you might modify these verbs. I will try to use real examples from my novel Root Beer and Roadblocks to see if I can improve on anything.

Stronger Verb is Available

Sometimes be verbs help along another verb, but occasionally there are other, tighter options.

What I wrote: The morning was a rush to get David off to school and make it to the oncology clinic on time. 

Another option: She rushed that morning to get David off to school and make it to the oncology clinic on time.  

Now that didn’t involve a different verb, just a different emphasis. The reality is a morning can’t be rushed. It is simply a morning. However as people we can be. So if I were to revise this novel that might be a better way to phrase it. Not bad the way it was but slightly tighter with the revision.

What I wrote: The bigger question was—did she have the courage to confess the truth to Johnny?

Another option: The bigger question remained—did she have the courage to confess the truth to Johnny?  Definitely using a stronger verb here.

Avoiding Passive Voice

My software used to warn me about passive voice and I’m not always the best at recognizing it. Some things are easier for some writers than others. Not all instances of passive voice should be shunned. Sometimes they are appropriate. However, the desire in fiction is for a more active voice. You can do a check on that through Grammarly if you download that to your computer (they have a free version) but I’ve found it not to be entirely accurate. If you question a phrase you can put it into a passive voice checker.

Avoiding “to be” or “was” can help eliminate passive voice but not even that is a perfect rule.

What I wrote: She took the clothes away to be washed, leaving Khloe to explore under David’s watchful eye.  (this is passive voice)

Another option: She left to wash the clothes, leaving Khloe to explore under David’s watchful eye.

Caution: There are many uses of to be that are not passive voice so eliminating them all is not the point. Minimizing passive voice is probably something I should cover in another post, but it really is not something I’m great at. (All the more reason for me to explore it, right?)

When to Avoid Changing a Be verb: 

When it changes the tense of the sentence as in continuous action verses past tense.

What I wrote: Johnny came out to schedule his next appointment, and Katie was at the desk.

Better option: Johnny came out to schedule his next appointment, and Katie was sitting at the desk.  This might have been a better way for me to write that sentence since it was a continuing action. She hadn’t just sat down. To say she sat at the desk could have been misleading.

When you might be substituing another overused verb.

What I probably wrote in a first draft: She felt overwhelmed with the number of people, but David stuck close and kept her up to date as to who was who. Felt is an often overused word and personally I’d prefer the was to the overused verb like felt.

What I wrote: She was overwhelmed with the number of people, but David stuck close and kept her up to date as to who was who. Even better would have been to describe what that experience was like physically and emotionally for her. (The Emotion Thesaurus!)

When it simply reads better with the be verb. As with any of the things an author can consider, readability is always king and if any version of “be” is appropriate and nothing else satisfies, then keep it.

What I wrote: He knelt down to embrace all three kids. Apolo was stuck in the middle.  I honestly cannnot figure out a better way to write that except to perhaps have him be squished which would be a more descriptive verb.

This obviously was bare bones but to be or not to be is a question that authors sometime need to wrestle with and oftentimes it isn’t as high on the list of things to worry about when writing, especially the first draft. The final version of Root Beer and Roadblocks contained:

  • 758 instances of was,
  • 197 instances of were,
  • 162 instances of to be (mostly without being passive),
  • 407 of be,
  • 31 of am,
  • 350 of is, and
  • 323 of would. 

Compare that to other often used words in that novel:

  • 2,982 uses of the
  • 1,735 use of a
  • 165 uses of an
  • 523 uses of as

The be verbs cannot be completely eliminated because as helping verbs they make things click well and most readers don’t really even see those words. When I used to use AutoCrit these were not words they even flagged to be on the watch out for. Still, it’s worth having the discussion of to be or not to be and in most instances I’ll stand in favor of be words.

 

 

Author Confessions: Show and Tell with Verbs

Sep9
Reading Time: 3 minutes

Author Confessions: Show and Tell with Verbs

Yes, verbs that tell are not listed in the previous post about the types of verbs, but they are the more common defaults for authors to use. The reason these are telling verbs is that they tell the readers something without showing them what’s happening, externally and internally the character whose point of view we are in. I realize I did a similar post on this but this one is specific to verbs.

Here are the most common ones I flag in my own novels and watch out for in those I am editing and some options for substituting the telling words. Sometimes it is good to be more descriptive, and other times it is better (or easier) to substitute a similar verb.

See/Saw

This is simple. Instead of telling me that they see something, describe it to me. Seeing could also be an inward understanding, so describe that instead of using the word if possible.

Telling: She saw the birds fly past.

Showing: The flock of fifty Sandhill Cranes flew overhead.

Telling:  She saw the danger ahead.

Showing: She understood she must warn her friend to be careful of that man.

Hear/Heard

Describe the sounds that the character is hearing or the information gained.

Telling: She heard the birds.

Showing: The cranes called out in a raucous chorus sure to wake the neighborhood.

Telling: She overheard them plotting murder.

Showing: Her spying revealed her neighbor was plotting murder.

Know/Knew

Instead of telling me what the character knows or knew, since you are in the character’s head you can simply skip that word and state the facts. Sometimes the word know/knew can be substituted with other words like understand/understood, was aware, perceive/perceived, realized, recognized…

Telling: She knew there were cranes flying overhead.

Showing: The long stretched out neck and brown color indicated the birds were Sandhill Cranes and their squawking confirmed it.

Telling: She knew it was the right thing to do.

Showing: Deep in her spirit, she became convinced this was the right decision.

Look/Looked

Telling: The birds looked agitated.

Showing: She wasn’t sure what triggered the frantic flock to call out as they did.

Telling: She looked for that keys everywhere.

Showing: She searched for the keys everywhere. (just a stronger verb)

Feel/Felt

This is tricky because feel/felt can be a physical sensation or an emotional one. Emotionally it would be better to describe the emotion, and if it is a physical, you want to describe the sensations: prickly, soft, course, comforting…

Telling: She felt delight at seeing the cranes.

Showing: A shiver of excitement overtook her at the cranes flying overhead.

Telling: The blanket felt soft.

Showing: She wrapped herself in the silky blanket and contentment filled her soul.

Have/Had

Now these words can be used in a variety of ways so how does it get used to tell? Here is an example and how to correct it.

Telling: She had a headache.

Showing: Her head throbbed and she winced in pain.

Telling: She had to go to the meeting

Showing: She must go to the meeting. (gives a little more importance)

Exceptions

We can’t show everything so sometimes it is acceptable to use these words. They do not need to be eliminated from a story completely. Especially in dialogue they are acceptable because that is the way we talk.

“Look!” can be a directive.

“I see.” Is an affirmation.

“I heard from Grandma today,” is a report of something, probably proceeding the sharing of the content.

“I knew she wouldn’t come, she’s notorious for that.” This is acceptable.

Playing show and tell with verbs is just another one of the challenges that an author grapples with when writing in a way that hopefully will keep the reader engaged without boring them.

 

 

Author Confessions: All the Verbs!

Sep2
Reading Time: 3 minutes

Author Confessions: All the Verbs!

Did you realize that all verbs are not created equal? I didn’t even realize that there were so many different categories of verbs. Where was I in those high school English classes I loved so much that this seemed new to me?

Here are the eleven types of verbs that are used in the English language and some examples of them.

Action Verbs

As you might imagine, these refer to action.

  • Physical actions:  run, walk, jump, kick, eat, sleep, push
  • Mental actions: think, talk, speak, try, study
  • Management actions:  advised, counseled, planned, headed

Stative Verbs

These are more about a state of being or condition and describe qualities , opinions, beliefs and emotions and well as the state of existence.

Examples: feel, appear, have, smell, need, see, appreciate, and look.

Linking Verbs

This is technically a subcatogory of a stative verb. Also known as a copular verb, linking verbs establish a relationship between the subject and the rest of the sentence.

Common linking verbs include: do/did, feel/felt, get/got, has/have/had (told you this would show up again!), seem/seems/seemed.

Transitive Verbs

These verbs require an object to receive an action, aka direct object.

Examples include: address, borrow, bring, raise, offer, pay, write, and have. (wait, wasn’t have also a stative verb? Hmmm. Just wait, you’ll see that one again!)

Intransitive Verbs

Not needing a direct object to make sense, intransitive verbs can answer questions like where, when hoe or how long. They don’t make sense with an object attached to them.

Examples are: yawn, live, cry, laugh, stand, wait, disagree.  They can be modified by adverb, adverbial clauses or prepositional phrases.

Helping Verbs (Auxiliary)

These verbs are just really helpful. Who doesn’t want some help? Apparently, the English language does!

They work with other verbs and include: am/be, has/had (told you this would appear again!), was/were/would, did/do/does, can/could.

Modal Verbs

This is a subgroup of helping verbs that give a mood to the sentence (shouldn’t it be moodal verb then? Just saying…).

These include: can/could, may/might, must, ought to, shall/should, will/would.

Regular Verbs

These verbs have the distinction of having a past tense ending in -d, -ed, or -t.

Examples include: act/acted, fix/fixed, help/helped, beg/begged, sleep/slept, cry/cried. The spelling can slightly change when going to the past tense.

Irregular Verbs

These are the opposite of regular and do not end in -d, -ed, or -t.

These include:

      • Be – am, is, are, was, were, being, been
      • Eat – ate, eaten
      • Fly – flew, flown
      • Catch – caught
      • Set – set

Phrasal Verbs

These amazing verbs combine with an adverb or a preposition to generate a new meaning.

Some examples include: bear with (be patient), break off (end a relationship), zone out (dissociate from a situation, wrap up (cover in paper), go ahead (proceed).

Infinitives

Now why include this when these are not even verbs? Hmmm? Curious minds want to know! They might be better called costumed, or disguised verbs, or perhaps pretending verbs. The most common marker seems to be the use of the word “to” to proceed the verb.

Examples: to proceed (as used in the previous sentence), to plan, to run, to walk, to dance, to sing…

Overused Verbs

Are you as confused as I am about all these verbs? The reality is some can be overused in a manuscript so understanding how a verb is used can help the author find alternative verbs that might be substituted for the more commonly overused ones that include: see/sees, hear/heard, feel/felt, had/have, look/looked, know/knew.

Sometimes with all the verbs available, an author can default to more common, simple ones. Verbs move a story forward so using them wisely can make the more enjoyable for the reader.

 

Author Confessions: Those Alluring Adverbs

Aug12
Reading Time: 3 minutes

Author Confessions: Those Alluring Adverbs

In case you haven’t played MadLibs lately, adverbs are words that modify a verb, adjective, or another adverb in a sentence. Using them in a piece of fiction, however, can be a sign of a weak verb. Adverbs can suck the meaning and intention from your words. Not all adverbs end in -ly and as some adjectives end in -ly so that’s not necessarily a way to tell for sure. There are five types of adverbs. Did you know that? I was proabably taught that long ago in some English class but it’s amazing how those little details get lost in the mind filled with life. There are:

  • Adverbs of manner that tell us how something happened. Examples: fast, loudly, quite, carefully, happily.
  • Adverbs of place tell us where. Examples: here, near, outside, there, upstairs.
  • Adverbs of time tell us when. Examples: again, early, never, now soon, tomorrow.
  • Adverbs of frequency tell us how many times. Examples: always, daily, often, rarely, generally, seldom.
  • Adverbs that modify or describe adjectives, verbs, clauses, and other adverbs. Examples: very, not, more, here, always, correctly

Many of these can be essential in a story but a few tend to be overused.

One example:

Using an adverb: “He was really angry.”

Better verb:  “He was furious.” (stronger verb)

More descriptive of the emotion: “His fists clenched and his face grew warm, and his pulse excelerated.”

That was one sentence. Imagine if you will, needing to evaluate every sentence and paragraph in a novel to root out these alluring adverbs that tempt the author to take the lazier route to getting a story written. I’m not saying this is wrong, because a first draft is meant to be edited so having adverbs in there can be useful to get the bare bones of a story on the page, and they can be modified later.

Sometimes the author will decide to keep the adverb. They are not necessarily evil. Or should I rephrase that? Adverbs are not wicked devices devised by satan himself. They are a legitimate part of our English language and they do have a place. Having stated that, it is wise for any author to be aware of these alluring adverbs and work to widen their vocabulary to include stronger verbs that paint the image they want in the the mind of the reader.

Here are a few of the alluring adverbs to be on the watch for. This is not an all inclusive list.

Actually         Totally

Completely     Continually

Constantly     Continuously

Literally     Really

Unfortunately    Ironically

Incredibly   Hopefully

Finally

When an author is doing edits, much like weasel words, the author needs to assess how essential the adverb is in the sentence. Is there a stronger verb that would be more descriptive, or perhaps describing things in more detail?  In dialogue these will be more commonly found and oftentimes remain because that is the way we speak and the writing should reflect that.

If you read last week’s post you are probably surprised I didn’t include SERIOUSLY in this list. There are many adverbs that could be considered. The challenge for the author is to vary their prose to use a wider vocabulary to keep the reader engaged in the story and not annoyed because of weak verbs modified by those alluring adverbs.