Author Confessions: When Discouragement Hits Hard

I have struggled with depression pretty much all my life. Even with medication there are days when it can hit hard. Add winter in Wisconsin and the lack of sunshine, Seasonal Affective Disorder can get mixed up in there. I’ve learned to relax into that reality and make adjustments when the energy level sinks and my body indicates it needs more rest than activity, or conversely, needs connection more than isolation.

I had a challenging November. Somehow with lots of extra free form writing I managed to finish National Novel Writing month (Nanowrimo.org). Lots of words to be deleted from that document! The story wasn’t finished but I’m hoping that it will be soon so I can start working on the editing process.

Surgery for me the week before Thanksgiving, and then last Wednesday, surgery for my husband, makes for challenges to navigate.

With all the chaos of November, I didn’t get my December marketing done and I will confess I was discouraged with the reality that only one person who read my latest Christmas novella, I’ll be Gnome for Christmas, wrote a review. I did a Facebook live for the first time to promote the book—and no one showed up. I understand. We are all busy!

I have to do some reevaluating again… Why do I write? It is a calling I believe, but is it really having an impact in this crazy world? It’s not a financial boon in any way for our family. It is a sacrifice of discipline getting my butt in that chair and hands on a keyboard to come up with a story, and fashion characters out of thin air that hopefully will relate a message of hope and faith, and maybe even fun that will entertain and encourage a reader. Or show them a true, vital faith that can be theirs.

Obviously, I am writing this post on one of the lower days. Healing takes energy and can make me tired but that can compound the feelings of discouragement if not depression! And honestly, at the moment I’m writing this, I’m more discouraged than anything.

This isn’t a pity party. No one comes when anyone hosts those! I’m writing an honest confession that authors face. Discouragement. Does what I do matter? If I stopped writing stories would anyone care?

The better question I need to be really asking is: What is GOD calling me to do? After all, it’s only HIS opinion that matters. More than any and book reviews or sales are not any validation of HIS call when the work of the heart is something He is only aware of. And that, my friends, is only a question He can answer. Many of the people in Scripture who were following God’s lead faced these same issues.

How do handle it when discouragement hits hard? I’d love to hear about it.

Maybe this old song by Caroyn Arends will encourage you as it does me: https://youtu.be/mwWy-T8WWFo?si=IVzJ1lgbS7REz-xg