Author Confessions: When Discouragement Hits Hard
I have struggled with depression pretty much all my life. Even with medication there are days when it can hit hard. Add winter in Wisconsin and the lack of sunshine, Seasonal Affective Disorder can get mixed up in there. I’ve learned to relax into that reality and make adjustments when the energy level sinks and my body indicates it needs more rest than activity, or conversely, needs connection more than isolation.
I had a challenging November. Somehow with lots of extra free form writing I managed to finish National Novel Writing month (Nanowrimo.org). Lots of words to be deleted from that document! The story wasn’t finished but I’m hoping that it will be soon so I can start working on the editing process.
Surgery for me the week before Thanksgiving, and then last Wednesday, surgery for my husband, makes for challenges to navigate.
With all the chaos of November, I didn’t get my December marketing done and I will confess I was discouraged with the reality that only one person who read my latest Christmas novella, I’ll be Gnome for Christmas, wrote a review. I did a Facebook live for the first time to promote the book—and no one showed up. I understand. We are all busy!
I have to do some reevaluating again… Why do I write? It is a calling I believe, but is it really having an impact in this crazy world? It’s not a financial boon in any way for our family. It is a sacrifice of discipline getting my butt in that chair and hands on a keyboard to come up with a story, and fashion characters out of thin air that hopefully will relate a message of hope and faith, and maybe even fun that will entertain and encourage a reader. Or show them a true, vital faith that can be theirs.
Obviously, I am writing this post on one of the lower days. Healing takes energy and can make me tired but that can compound the feelings of discouragement if not depression! And honestly, at the moment I’m writing this, I’m more discouraged than anything.
This isn’t a pity party. No one comes when anyone hosts those! I’m writing an honest confession that authors face. Discouragement. Does what I do matter? If I stopped writing stories would anyone care?
The better question I need to be really asking is: What is GOD calling me to do? After all, it’s only HIS opinion that matters. More than any and book reviews or sales are not any validation of HIS call when the work of the heart is something He is only aware of. And that, my friends, is only a question He can answer. Many of the people in Scripture who were following God’s lead faced these same issues.
How do handle it when discouragement hits hard? I’d love to hear about it.
Maybe this old song by Caroyn Arends will encourage you as it does me: https://youtu.be/mwWy-T8WWFo?si=IVzJ1lgbS7REz-xg
Oh my goodness, can I relate! Your self-reminder that you are writing to God’s glory and as a steward of the gifts He gives you serves to remind me too: we don’t live to ourselves.
Sometimes I deal with discouragement with the ‘misery loves company’ approach. Even the popular writers fade from memory. The most talented musicians can’t get anyone to pay attention when they perform at the local coffee shop and their self-produced CDs or Spotify offerings don’t get any attention. Pastors are discouraged when church attendance shrinks and sin grows.
But I’ve found the best way to battle discouragement is to lose myself in the worlds I’m creating as I write. I love getting to know the people as they develop and the places as they come to life and the events as they unfold. The creative process itself is a gift.
You are gifted with so much creativity! You deserve to enjoy that gift! Write as though God is reading (He is.) Love those parallel worlds you design and discover. Lord willing this ‘black dog’ will pass quickly and you can focus on healing and rejoicing and creating.
Part of being a creative person is dealing with this kind of thing. Thanks for stopping by and your words of encouragement. I am so blessed to have you as a friend (and an awesome author I have the honor to work with!). Merry Christmas!
Holidays are always a struggle for me with depression. The expectation of happiness while life just goes on. Exercise helps or hanging with your “tribe.” Sorry I missed your podcast. I quit writing for good usually twice a year.
Thanks for stopping by. We all get busy, don’t we and it takes hard work to sit our butts in that chair and write! Depression is common this time of year as well. Hang in there, friend! Merry Christmas!