Oliver’s Opinion: The Lady with the Alligator Case (Book Review)

Nov1
Reading Time: 2 minutes

It’s me, Oliver Sparky Toffee Cashew, to tell you about Anita Klumper’s latest masterpiece, The Lady with the Alligator Case which is a Christmas novella which will be a great escape from the craziness of the holiday season.

Like I even know the difference between an alligator or a crocodile? Especially without their head? It doesn’t matter to the story. Anita weaves a tale with her characteristic playfulness writing in the first person as she tells the story of Jemima, a young woman who loves Christmas sweaters but is a little desperate when it comes to love which leads her into a pickle of a situation.

She was headed to Wisconsin before Christmas to deliver this ugly suitcase for her grandmother which only meant a slight deviation before her hopeful reunion with the guy who’d dumped her. See? Desperate.

Black ice derailed her plans and she wakes up to find herself handcuffed to a hospital bed and apparantly guilty of delivering illegal goods in that silly case. But that isn’t the end of Jemima’s Christmas detour.

All types of mayhem ensue with a handsome police officer investigating this perplexing crime which gets even more befuddled when the police station  almost burns down, her grandmother shows up along with an elderly friend, and of course there is a snowstorm of blizzard proportions!

With only Christmas sweaters in her own suitcase, she’s finding it hard to find any holiday cheer, even with the handsome arresting officer, Elihu Orwell by her side as they try to figure it all out. Why is this suitcase, or it’s contents so important that someone would go to all this trouble?

This is a book that’s hard to put down so please go get a copy of The Lady with the Alligator Case by Anita Klumpers for an unusual treat during this holiday season. And after you’ve read it, please give her a nice review!

I’ll give it five bones becaues it’s good and I think that case is only good for a dog to chew on.

 

Author Confessions: The More I Learn the Less I Know

Oct28
Reading Time: 6 minutes

Author Confessions: The More I Learn the Less I Know

This sounds a bit confusing, doesn’t it? It would seem that the more we learn the more information we have stored in our minds therefore it would only make sense that we are smarter.

In some respects that might be true. However, I would like to posit that for me, the more I learn and understand about myself, the world around me, writing, and especially God, the more I realize how tiny and small my understanding of it all is.

I do not have the corner on truth in any of those realms. Not even about myself.

My personal history is colored by my thoughts and perceptions. Sometimes when different information is offered regarding an event, it shifts my knowledge about it and can even change the way I think about a particular event.

This is a delightful way therapy can be helpful, by assisting the patient in a wider perspective on their situation or circumstance. Not to minimize their pain by any means but to give them a better grasp of all that is impacting them emotionally. Challenging our thinking, broadening the scope of understanding, or looking at things through a different lens can be helpful.

We tend to think in somewhat fixed patterns. We like to retell stories, often with the same script. It’s easier for us to do that. I’ve done this with areas of teaching as well that I am most comfortable with. The challenge for us as human beings is we can get stuck in those groves of thought and widening them to include something that is anti-thetical or perhaps changes the perceived truth about something, can cause a not so fun experience called cognative dissonance.

This is a reality in life but also plays out in fiction so don’t think this is only about our intellect. Our characters reflect real life and sometimes when a character is stuck perhaps in a twisted view of God’s forgiveness, they need to be confronted with truth about that which can be uncomfortable. This internal struggle, whether in real life or in the mind of a fictional character, requires growth which is somewhat uncomfortable.

Why?

Because we need to humble ourselves to admit that we didn’t know it all.

Now there are those out there that proclaim to have a corner on truth and aren’t teachable. Call them fools if you will. They are unwilling to adapt or grasp that there might be a different perspective. Another word for them might be narcissist.

We’ve seen this with the election cycle. People argue for or against a candidate based on the person instead of the policies. They believe what the media tells them instead of doing the hard work to investigate the truth. Yes, character is important, but is that version real or the one pitched to you by advertising and political pundits? It can be difficult to dig through the dirt to find the reality. When people do research and decide they were wrong in their previous position, it takes humility and is often faced with opposition by those who haven’t undergone that process. Civilized dialogue has disappeared in many instances because of the entrenched thinking people on both sides tend to have and it becomes adversarial with a desire to insult rather than learn. In recent years we’ve seen people penalized and silenced for offering a perspective on things that differed from what the mainstream media and government wanted us to believe. They were called conspiracy theorists. Many times they suffered horribly for that but in the end they were often proved correct in what they had been trying to share.

Learning requires humility and a willingness to admit that maybe we were wrong.

This goes beyond politics to religion and even relationships.

I was always clear to my children when I had messed up. I wanted their respect and trust but believed that if I erred in the way I had reacted to something, they would learn that kind of respect for others.

I’ve seen families torn apart by lies told by one parent. Even adult children can hold to a line of thinking that has been emotionally reinforced and encouraged in an effort to avoid a relationship with the other parent. This is nasty business whether the child is young or old enough to think for themselves. It’s not a game I ever wanted to play.

Forgiveness often requires this humility, doesn’t it? We have to admit that maybe there is more going on than we’d like to admit and trust God to deal with the perceived sins of the other person. We might be legitimately wounded but sometimes it can be hard to parse out what is real and what has been slanted in the communicaiton about an event.

I could look at my father’s workaholism and be angry that he wasn’t around more. Sure it hurt when he couldn’t make it to a concert perhaps. As an adult, however, I can recognize his humanity and that he had his own issues he struggled with that might have kept him from being as present as I would have wished. He also had the responsibility of providing for a relatively large family. He did the best he could with what he knew.

I could get angry with my husband over something but I have to filter it through several different lenses.

  1. Is this something that is more my issue? Am I reacting more as a result of past trauma than to the here and now? This has happened where he’s accidentally triggered something in me that was not good. Once I’ve informed him, he changes the behavior. I’ve had to do the same for him.
  2. I need to remind myself that we are on the same team and give him the benefit of the doubt. It might not have been intentional (see #1).
  3. It might be part of who God has created him to be and I need to adapt to that even if it isn’t always comfortable. We all have our quirks in our personalities. I remember that God made Him unique and I need to appreciate that uniqueness. In this instance my issue is more with God than my husband.
  4. It’s easy to stew in my feelings because if I confront them I might find out I did something wrong too. It takes courage to talk about our hurt and frustration and the cause of that and work that out between two people. It’s worth it to go through that process.

When we were about to get married my fiance (now husband) told me he knew everything about me. I told him that couldn’t be true because we had years of history on both sides and we would spend the rest of our lives learning about each other. A few months later I learned he was the “M&M Grandpa” and had a collection of M&M memorabilia. Six years later I discovered his favorite pie was blueberry and not apple, although he loves apple pie too. I finally baked a blueberry pie for him. The more I learn the less I know.

The other part of this is also self-knowledge. I’m still learning about myself as I grow older. My perspective changes as I go through events in my life. I learn. I understand differently. I unearth new truths about the way I react to things or perhaps blind spots (I’ll deal with that next week). I read fiction and non-fiction to broaden my thinking and inform me. I was recently diagnosed with ADD (inattentive type) a few years ago, and while I understood much about this, I’ve learned new tips and tricks that help me be more functional in my daily life. Growth has benefits!

The reality is, as a believer in Jesus Christ and one who seeks to follow Him with all my heart, my mind, and my soul, I need to hold to a posture of humility that the Lord of the universe has knowledge beyond my grasp. Every time I open Scripture I learn new things, or see God, myself, and the world a little differently. It’s a slow process because God is gracious in not shoving all my sin down my throat at once. He’s gentle and patient as long as I stay humble, teachable, and seeking Him for who He is not just what He can do for me. I’m grateful that He provides the Holy Spirit to guide and teach me,  and even pray for me when I can’t find the words. The Holy Spirit is in the business of teaching me what I don’t yet know.

How about you? Do you find that the more you learn the less you know? How have you seen this play out in your life?

 

Minnie’s Remarks: I’ll be Gnome for Christmas (Book Review)

Oct25
Reading Time: 3 minutes

Hi, I’m Oliver’s smaller but older sister, Minnie, as in Minnie Pearl, because the foster family had named me Dolly Parton and no offense to Dolly, they thought my petiteness needed to be mentioned every time they talk to me. Humans are odd, but I love my life with them, much better than the Amish puppy mill where I lived for three years. Now I get sunshine, snuggles, toys I’m learning to play with, and a buddy in Ollie, who like any brother, can be a pain, but I let him know in no uncertain terms when he crosses the line.

Mom asked me to review her latest Christmas novella, I’ll be Gnome for Christmas, a whimsical inspirational romance. She wrote it before I came to the house but she let me look at the story when she was making corrections during editing and I gotta say, there’s some funny names in this story which lighten the emotional weight of struggles the two main characters carry.

Gigget Wicket is a widow with two young children and she carries shame from her husband’s infidelities. Not only was he a cad, he left her high and dry when he died which was rude. She’s barely making it and isn’t looking for a new man to love because she fears part of the problem was that she was unworthy. She clings to faith in God and good friends and works hard to make ends meet, even selling produce at the local Farmer’s Market in town.

Bingle Twinkle was left high and dry when his wife decided she preferred his then-best friend. Losing a wife meant losing his dream for a happy family. Between factory work and serving in the Army National Guard, he keeps himself so busy that usually he doesn’ t have time to experience the loneliness. But when he runs into Gigget and her two little gnomes at the Farmer’s Market, sparks fly between them.

Gigget’ s children, Djoni and Amoretta really like Bingle and his way of diffusing a hostile man without raising a fist. They are praying for a dad who’ ll make them and their mother happy. With the holidays approaching, could a Christmas miracle be in the works?

This book entails real life mixed with wit and whimsy and a touch of dreams really do come true. Buy it for me mom and leave her a nice review so I can get more bully sticks since Oliver keeps stealing mine. I’ll give this book five bones so go buy I’ll be Gnome for Christmas, you’ll be glad you did.

You can listen to my mom talk about this book here:

Author Confessions: To Be or not to Be

Oct21
Reading Time: 4 minutes

Author Confessions: To Be or not to Be

I was at a writer’s group years ago and another writer told me that we should avoid any version of “be” words: is, am/be, was/were/would.

That’s kind of like deleting the word “the” isn’t it? If you remember my blog post from September 2, 2024, I talked about all the kinds of verbs. The “be” verbs are helping verbs. Like many words, these verbs can be overused but do not need to be eliminated completely.

There are some reasons why you might modify these verbs. I will try to use real examples from my novel Root Beer and Roadblocks to see if I can improve on anything.

Stronger Verb is Available

Sometimes be verbs help along another verb, but occasionally there are other, tighter options.

What I wrote: The morning was a rush to get David off to school and make it to the oncology clinic on time. 

Another option: She rushed that morning to get David off to school and make it to the oncology clinic on time.  

Now that didn’t involve a different verb, just a different emphasis. The reality is a morning can’t be rushed. It is simply a morning. However as people we can be. So if I were to revise this novel that might be a better way to phrase it. Not bad the way it was but slightly tighter with the revision.

What I wrote: The bigger question was—did she have the courage to confess the truth to Johnny?

Another option: The bigger question remained—did she have the courage to confess the truth to Johnny?  Definitely using a stronger verb here.

Avoiding Passive Voice

My software used to warn me about passive voice and I’m not always the best at recognizing it. Some things are easier for some writers than others. Not all instances of passive voice should be shunned. Sometimes they are appropriate. However, the desire in fiction is for a more active voice. You can do a check on that through Grammarly if you download that to your computer (they have a free version) but I’ve found it not to be entirely accurate. If you question a phrase you can put it into a passive voice checker.

Avoiding “to be” or “was” can help eliminate passive voice but not even that is a perfect rule.

What I wrote: She took the clothes away to be washed, leaving Khloe to explore under David’s watchful eye.  (this is passive voice)

Another option: She left to wash the clothes, leaving Khloe to explore under David’s watchful eye.

Caution: There are many uses of to be that are not passive voice so eliminating them all is not the point. Minimizing passive voice is probably something I should cover in another post, but it really is not something I’m great at. (All the more reason for me to explore it, right?)

When to Avoid Changing a Be verb: 

When it changes the tense of the sentence as in continuous action verses past tense.

What I wrote: Johnny came out to schedule his next appointment, and Katie was at the desk.

Better option: Johnny came out to schedule his next appointment, and Katie was sitting at the desk.  This might have been a better way for me to write that sentence since it was a continuing action. She hadn’t just sat down. To say she sat at the desk could have been misleading.

When you might be substituing another overused verb.

What I probably wrote in a first draft: She felt overwhelmed with the number of people, but David stuck close and kept her up to date as to who was who. Felt is an often overused word and personally I’d prefer the was to the overused verb like felt.

What I wrote: She was overwhelmed with the number of people, but David stuck close and kept her up to date as to who was who. Even better would have been to describe what that experience was like physically and emotionally for her. (The Emotion Thesaurus!)

When it simply reads better with the be verb. As with any of the things an author can consider, readability is always king and if any version of “be” is appropriate and nothing else satisfies, then keep it.

What I wrote: He knelt down to embrace all three kids. Apolo was stuck in the middle.  I honestly cannnot figure out a better way to write that except to perhaps have him be squished which would be a more descriptive verb.

This obviously was bare bones but to be or not to be is a question that authors sometime need to wrestle with and oftentimes it isn’t as high on the list of things to worry about when writing, especially the first draft. The final version of Root Beer and Roadblocks contained:

  • 758 instances of was,
  • 197 instances of were,
  • 162 instances of to be (mostly without being passive),
  • 407 of be,
  • 31 of am,
  • 350 of is, and
  • 323 of would. 

Compare that to other often used words in that novel:

  • 2,982 uses of the
  • 1,735 use of a
  • 165 uses of an
  • 523 uses of as

The be verbs cannot be completely eliminated because as helping verbs they make things click well and most readers don’t really even see those words. When I used to use AutoCrit these were not words they even flagged to be on the watch out for. Still, it’s worth having the discussion of to be or not to be and in most instances I’ll stand in favor of be words.

 

 

Author Confessions: Author Pets

Oct14
Reading Time: 4 minutes

Author Confessions: Author Pets

One of my fave pics with Spatzle. I had him for 10 wonderful years.

Funny, I almost typed author pests. Maybe there is some truth to that because I sit and write I sometimes have a puppy plop into my lap or pull at my pants for attention. Sometimes they can be a pest.

Benji with my hubby, Ben. He picked us and we loved him for a short 18 months.

Some authors use their animals in their fiction. I did model a dog after my Spatzle when I wrote Donuts and Detours. That was the image I had in mind when I did that. Of course, my book reviews have been done by my dogs for many years now and that has been fun.

The sad part was when I had to say good-bye to a dog.  We got Benji to help Spatzle in his old age and it worked but he passed away in early 2022 and never had a chance to write for me as Spatzle did such a great job. Then we adopted Cooper because Spatzle was grieving and that gave us many more months with my sweet dog. Spatzle passed away at the end of 2022 Cooper took over for Spaztle on the blog. We never got him a companion because he was happier as an only dog. Cooper died February of this year (2024) as his health deteriorated so rapidy.

Cooper was silly and fun, we miss his antics.

Marley was with us for too short a time. We were sad to lose him too.

Oliver keeping watch. He reminds me so much of Spatzle, but is far more hyper and affectionate.

The day after we put Cooper down, I found Oliver. A 6 month old, and the same breed as Spatzle had been. Because our grief was great, we adopted the puppy. I didn’t want a puppy. Too much work. I wanted it potty trained. I discovered that “mostly potty trained” meant I still had messes in the house. Ah but Oliver is a cute little shenangiator and we’ve come a long way since we got him after we put Cooper down.

Two weeks later we adopted a senior dog, Marley, to help Oliver learn how to “dog”. It helped a lot but we only had a few short months with sweet Marley. Anticipating Marley’s death, we got an Amish puppy mill rescue who was three. Minnie was terrified. She’s come a long way since then but we hope that these sweet pups will be with us for a long time to come now. Marley had been our fourth senior dog to  be put down in a little over two years. That’s a lot of heartache.

Minnie has a lot to learn but she’s getting there!

Now these younger pups bring life and laughter to our days. When my hubby is off working on his various projects, they keep me company and I can’t sit at my computer for hours like I used to before dogs came into my life. That’s a good thing although I do find it sometimes annoying.

Many authors do have pets. But then, many humans do. Being an author can be isolating and having a devoted fuzzy friend can be a comfort on any day and a delight on many of those with their shenanigans.

Since I’ve started adding Oliver and Minnie and having them share the book reviews here on the blog I figured it would be good to let you know where the other ones have gone. They may not be in our home any more but they are forever in our hearts.

Oliver’s Opinion: The Keeper’s Secret (Book Review)

Oct11
Reading Time: 2 minutes

Hi, Oliver here again with another book. Guess I keep getting up to too many shenanigans so she wants to keep my paws busy here instead of bothering my sister, Minnie (maybe mom will put Minnie to work sometime instead of saddling me with all of these reviews). A dog can only hope.

This time the book is by Penelope Marzec called The Keeper’s Secret and it is a delightful and suspenseful romance filled with faith, trauma, and victory in the end for our two protagonists (aren’t you amazed I even know that word? I’m only one you know!).

Our town has a lighthouse but not with this kind of history or action going on around it as this story takes place in Shucker’s Point, New Jersey. Anyway, lighthouses are cool and a nice backdrop for this tale.

Evie is the keeper of the lighthouse and things are not going well for this woman. Her husband was missing and he was a famous research scientist, so any suspicion of foul play natural falls to the wife, Evie. She has secrets she’s keeping close.

Unfortunately for her and her daughter, the investigator, Bryce, is her old love from high school who harbors some ill will toward Evie while simutaneously struggling with those long lost loving feelings. She protests her innocence while he’s trying to arrest her.

Once upon a time Bryce wanted to marry Evie but after she did something impulsive and technically illegal he shunned her. Since those days past, he’d walked away from God and she has embraced faith in Jesus. So not only do they clash regarding a crime she didn’t commit, but their faith is at odds as well.

I don’t want to give spoilers but this book keeps you guessing the who done it part which makes it a thrilling read. Penelope Marzec digs deep into the trauma, loneliness, dark nights of the soul of her characters and their respective hurts and struggle to believe God can work it all out.

I highly recommend you read this romantic suspense, The Keeper’s Secret. It gets five bones from me.

Author Confessions: Easter Eggs

Oct7
Reading Time: 3 minutes

Author Confessions: Easter Eggs

Why, in fall, would I be talking about Easter eggs? I don’t know, maybe because it’s not about Resurrection Day or cute little bunnies or hunting for eggs around the yard or house. What I am talking about are the hidden things author put in their books just for fun, and hopefully for the fun of the reader.

This was done spectacularly in the television show, Psych. I was introduced to that show and fell in love with the over-the-top characters and their outrageous shenanigans. Funny, because that could at times describe my husband but that show is just too silly for him. Maybe it was a season in my life but it was a great escape. There is an example of the Easter egg phenomenon though that any Psych fan would know about. What is it? Pinapple.

In the first episode, Shawn Spencer (brilliantly played by James Roday) grabs a pinapple and asks about taking it along. For all I know it could have been improv for the scene as there was a lot of improvisation that took place in that show. After that they made sure to include a pineapple all 120 episodes either visually or in the dialogue. It might be obvious, or it might not. The fun for the fan was to find the pineapple. Fun tidbit, the TV show Chuck, used the word pinapple when there was an emergency. A nod to Psych? Possibly.

So how does that relate to an author? Sometimes author put Easter eggs in their stories. For instance, every one of my six stories in the Black Diamond Gothic Regency series has an animal that assists the main character. In The Baron’s Blunder, it was a parrot. In The Virtuous Viscount it was a dog. Lord Phillip’s Folly had a talking crow while Sir Michael’s Mayhem had a sneaky ferret. A kitten was helpful in Lord Harrow’s Heart and a lamb was vital to The Captain’s Conquest. It didn’t start out that way, as the pinapple thing didn’t for Psych, but it was fun as an author to include an animal that wasn’t just in the background but actually played role, some more major than others, in helping out the characters.

The requirement for this would be that you are writing a series. And it might not start out as an Easter egg, but you’d have to know this by book two. For instance putting in an animal made me have to think carefully about just what kind of animal and what role would it play to further the story along. Easter eggs can’t be a distraction, and they don’t need to take center stage either. Having an animal in a story is fine, but having it actually be a part of the plot is something else entirely, but if you’re up for it, it can be a sweet challenge.

An Easter egg can also be a character, place, object (like the pinapple or a pet). This can also be referred to as an allusion because the reader (or viewer) will understand what the author is referring to. Does the reader need to know there is an Easter egg to enjoy the story? No. And authors don’t tell their readers in advance that there are Easter eggs either.

This can happen within one story as well. In Sir Michael’s Mayhem there is a tree that they keep coming back to and in the end Michael sees a new tree and ties it all in with every other instance with the other tree. Easter egg. Intentional? Not necessarily, but it was fun when I realized it was there. Hopefully the reader did as well.

Marvel movies are another version of the Easter Egg phenomenon as  the creator of the series, Stan Lee would appear in some way shape or form in every episode before he passed away. Another one is that at the end of each movie, after the credits, is a fun scene of some sort, so don’t stop when the credits roll on any movie, because some have fun surprises for you, whether it is outtakes or something else. I believe there are other Easter eggs in there as well but these are the more obvious ones.

A series might refer to something from a previous book as well. That happens quite often but only those who have read the series in order will catch it.

Intentionally or not, Easter eggs are a literary feature that can be fun for the author to employ. Do you have any favorite Easter eggs in fiction (written or on the screen?)

For fun, can you find all the pineapples in these few scenes? I know I missed some!

 

Oliver’s Opinion: Master Plan for Love (Book Review)

Oct4
Reading Time: 2 minutes

Hi, Oliver here, Mom had to put me to work as she hopes that will tire me out some. She was told a tired puppy is a good puppy. Not so sure about that, but I love exploring everything! So she had me explore this new novel, Master Plan for Love by Emily Grey.

Nikki has got some scars from her past. Not physical as much as emotional. Her ex-boyfriend was a bad dude, who I’d likely bite if I could even though I’m generally a friendly dog. This guy even threatened her physically as well as devestated her finanically.

She returned to her hometown to start over with a bridal salon.

Cody Manning has been away from town for ten years. He was injured trying to save a woman’s life and he’s hoping to heal from the gunshot wound (a real scar for this man!). Nikki is back so he’s wondering if that love he had for her years ago, can be brought back to life again.

With some sparring and struggle, both Nikki and Cody realize there are sparks, but can these wounded people foster a fresh love in spite of distrust, fears from the past and money challenges?

You’ll have to read it to find out! I’m a dog and I’m going to give bones like Spatzle used to, because apparently I look a little like him and I do love my bully rings which are kind of like a bone. This book gets five bones! Even though none of this helped me relax and stay out of mischief, but someone has to keep mom on her toes!

Author Confessions: Use all the Senses

Sep30
Reading Time: 4 minutes

Author Confessions: Use All the Senses

Another challenge for an author is to use all the senses in their storytelling, and if at all possible, do it without using the words see/saw, feel/felt, hear/heard, smelled, look/looked, taste, touch. Let’s take a simplified glimpse at ways to do that.

I’ll be referencing scenes from my book, Whitney’s Vow and see what we have for the senses:

Brides often entertained second thoughts on their wedding day, didn’t they?

Whitney Anderson’s sleeveless gown stuck to her back from the perspiration dribbling down. She was certain her deodorant had stopped working. The machine of a wedding day had taken over and she was a cog in its well-oiled gears. The backyard of her parents’ home basked in the sunshine as the temperature was a comfortable seventy-two degrees. So why was her body on fire?

 Her fingertips tingled and the small bouquet of daisies and roses pricked her palms. The aura of a migraine hovered around the recesses of her vision. She’d forgone her contacts and refused to wear glasses at her wedding. If she could only get through this day without passing out…Lord, please rescue me.

Sight: I could have written that everything was blurry, but instead I explained she had the aura of a migraine.

Smell: She might detect body odor as she wonders if her deodorant stopped working

 Touch: She touches the flowers and is pricked by the thorny roses. Persperation is dripping on her skin and her dress is sticking to her. She experiences heat even though the weather isn’t overaly warm

Birds chirped merrily in the tall trees, now in full leaf. An occasional trout flipped over the waterfall, tossed forth by the gush of water from the spring thaw. The men settled against the boulders, shaded by higher rocks and towering pines. The air was crisp, cool, and pure. Blake inhaled and grinned. 

Hearing:  He can hear the birds. He can hear the waterfall

Sight: The trees fully leafed out, trout flipping in the waterfall

Touch: Hard boulders, resting in the shade.

Smell: crisp, cool, pure air.

The mosquitoes started biting. The sun dropped lower in the sky, the trees casting long shadows on the path. Where were the men who were watching out for her? Every sound seemed suspicious, causing her heart to skip and race. Even the birds no longer sang. She sat and shivered.

Touch: She’s getting bit by mosquitos, it’s getting colder out.

Hearing: No birds singing. Any sound alarms her.

He headed to the bedroom suite. The bed was made up, and the room held the scent of lavender. He sat down and removed his boots. How could he sleep in this bed without Whitney beside him? It was one thing to do it overseas surrounded by smelly men on the hard ground or cots, but this haven screamed of his wife’s presence.

Smell: Lavender scent vs smelly men.

The quilt on the bed was made with scraps from their older clothes and reflected his penchant for black, blue, gray, and white mixed in with hers for pink, lavender, and a deeper purple with swatches of faded denim thrown in. He stood and dragged his hand over the quilt. She’d stitched it by hand as they’d talked in the evenings. Just patchwork squares but filled with memories. He touched one gingham fabric and remembered her wearing that blouse on their first date. Another was from a skirt she’d worn when he’d proposed. His patches were mostly solids and plaids. Did she have any specific memories tied to them as he did with hers?

Touch: He drags his hand over the quilt

Sight: Vivid description of the fabric squares and where they came from evokes memories.

Whitney was one big itchy mosquito bite. She couldn’t walk. She was rank with the odor of sweat and urine but at least they’d finally allowed her the privacy and space to relieve herself, untying her so she was able to maneuver her jeans for the task. She never saw her captor’s faces. The days were hot and her skin burned. Her hair was matted. Her scalp itched. 

Touch: Itchy. Burned skin. Matted hair. Itchy scalp

Smell:  Sweat and urine. Eww.

Sight: It’s what she didn’t see – her captors.

Whitney was only able to eat a few bites, but it was probably the best meal she’d ever had.

Taste: Well, at least she ate and it was good but that is really more telling than showing. See, even an author can find room for improvement in a story after it’s already been published.  I realized I really lacked in using more dynamic moments with food in my work, but maybe I don’t savor my own meals as much? It’s a thought anyway.

Real Life

Think about what happens when you walk into a room. Do you instantly register a scent? I’ll tell you if one of my dogs left me a nugget, I smell it before I enter the room. It is an odor I detest! Maybe a candle that is lit and burning. Much of our sense of smell is tied into taste and since we don’t eat all the time we won’t always have the sensation of taste in every scene. Not all senses need to be represented on every page, but hopefully enough that the reader will feel like they are experiencing everything the character is experiencing.

Consider that, smell, touch and taste cannot be experienced watching visual media (unless we’re talking physical art), but when a reader is experiencing the adventure of your character, they can connect to all the sensations that character is experiencing. Experiencing all the senses in our fiction can bring more realism to our readers, but we don’t want to overdue it either and take away from the story itself. It’s a balancing act but something I realize I need to grow in as well.

 

Author Confessions: Too Much Heart

Sep23
Reading Time: 2 minutes

Author Confessions: Too Much Heart

I’ve been talking about a lot of words but the past few posts were about verbs. Let me spend some time talking about the most overused word I’ve found (and have used in my own writing) in romantic fiction.

Heart.

Her heart raced.

She treasured it in her heart.

Her heart sped up.

Her heart ached.

Because emotion is often centered in our heart, authors tend to focus on that alone when they describe scenes. However, there is an entire body that can react to emotion and the book The Emotion Thesaurus can be helpful regardless of whether the emotion is love, jealousy, anger, loneliness… I highly recommend any author purchase that book and the companion pieces on positive and negative traits.   They are valuable resources. Angela Ackerman and Becca Puglisi have some more in the series that I just ordered and look forward to having on my bookshelf as resources.

Let’s try some different ways to say the examples above:

“Her heart raced.” Let’s try this instead: She couldn’t catch her breath.

“She treasured it in her heart.” How about: She closed her eyes to capture the moment.

“Her heart sped up.” Maybe instead: She placed a hand on her chest in a futile attempt to calm herself.

“Her heart ached.” Perhaps this: Tears welled in her eyes and she blinked back the tears.

Caveat:

You don’t have to eliminate every instance of the word heart in your prose. Especially when a character is speaking or perhaps texting or writing something. We often tend to use the word heart, but there is an entire physical and emotional body of description to draw on to add depth and color to your story and keep the reader engaged. Avoid writing with too much heart, at least in terms of words. I hope your efforts to put words on the page are filled with an overflowing passion for your work-in-progress.