Life Gets in the Way of Art

I have so much work I need to do before I can write another book and it’s frustrating. I had to get the taxes together for our LLC, my personal business and of course just our home. It’s complicated. I think I’m on top of it now. Then a family member needed someone to take them to the emergency room. I work from home – and of course, even if I didn’t I’d have done what I could to be there by their side. Our dog became increasingly sick, which meant more time to care for him, clean up after him, and then finally make that awful decision to put him down. My husband was due to have surgery but a subsequent injury meant that it was pushed up several weeks earlier with another to follow. That also means accompanying him to all of the appointemnts and physical therapy. My daughter moved back home. Time was spent on cleaning out two rooms and part of the basement. Now I want to finish the basement and purge, purge, purge! After we put down our dog, we adopted a rescue puppy the very next day. Add potty training to my to do list!

I’m also doing physical therapy for an injury and doing the daily warmup and exercise can take an hour minimum. Must be done if I’m to be pain free.

I don’t know how I would live if I had to work full-time outside the home. As a self-employed writer I control my schedule.

Or does my schedule control me?

Real life: caring for loved ones, pets, family, maintaining relationships, preparing for our bi-weekly small group, maintaining my daily time with God, brushing teeth, showering, cleaning house, doing dishes, doing the laundry and actually putting the clothes away, grocery shopping, paying bills… all take time. Not a lot of time individually, but they take time and energy and effort.

I still don’t know how I managed to do all this with three kids underfoot. Sometimes I think I’m busier now with my retired but active husband.

Part of it is I would often work at night, or write while the kids were at school which meant everything else was done when they were home. That probably resulted in less fun time with them. I remember homework wars and the exhaustion of helping a strong-willed incredibly stubborn child to do his work. It took so much more time and mental energy than it should have. But I did it.

I did the best I could with what I knew then. Just like I’m doing the best I can with what I know now. Sometimes projects and work have to wait. If I don’t fold the clothes, eventually my husband will. He’s a busy man as well and we are committed to relaxing in the evenings. No work. That means sometimes things fall through the cracks.

The big lesson I’ve learned though through all of this over the years is that people are more important than tasks. Sure I feel bad if I forget to pay a bill, so maybe it’s late (usually it’s early) but it’s rare and I need to give myself grace. When I tell a friend about all I have going on they often respond with how exhausted I made them.

We all have our own burdens to bear and challenges. Creating a story won’t happen unless I make it happen. It’s not like a mythical muse actually taps me on the shoulder to say “Write! Now!” Not that I won’t have ideas or dreams of what I want to write but often things won’t start to flow until I make the space and time to actually do it. Sometimes that may mean saying no to something else that’s really good.

As I write this I’m sitting in a hallway at a medical center while a family member has some tests run. So I’m getting some needed work done while not being home but when that individual comes out of their testing, I’m done and my focus will be on them. Thankfully, the two hours I have are being productive because I invested in a smaller laptop for travel so that I could do such things. This same laptop allowed me to do National Novel Writing Month (nanowrimo.com) in November even though we were gone, having traveled for 9 days! I wrote in a car, early mornings before friends woke up, in the airport, and on the plane. I had a goal and I made it happen and as a result I had a short novel to send to my publisher for this coming Christmas. Maybe they won’t like it because I tried something new! If not then maybe I’ll self-publish it because I love it so much. We’ll see.

Life gets in the way of art but without real life there would be no art. That is a truth I embrace and live. I’m doing more now to actually live a fuller, more well-rounded life, than when I wrote those first two dozen novels. So maybe I won’t write as many books in a year, but I hope and pray the ones I do write will be  better because I’m living and enjoying the life God has granted to me right now.

Art is important, but people are even more valuable and I need to treasure as much time with those God has placed in my life as possible. Our souls are for eternity. Sure my words will live on after I’m gone, or at least I hope so.  And I pray they have an eternal impact on the ones who read them. Ultimately, that’s in God’s hands.