When you open the page of a book you see some white space all around the area where words are. Those are margins. When authors submit a book we request a one inch margin all around the pages and double-spaced. They are far easier to read and edit. If the margins are small, it creates stress in the mind of the reader.

In 1995, I stumbled upon the writings of Dr. Richard A Swenson who wrote Margin: Restoring Emotional, Physical, Financial, and Time Reserves to Overloaded Lives. Taking that concept of margins on a page, he applies it to the way we write, and live, our daily lives. Packing our days to the gills as it were, can cause physical stress and illness.

I’ve had a tendency to be a work-a-holic, even when I was a stay-at-home mom. My one escape? Reading. Books became my space in the challenges of raising kids. Eventually, that turned into writing. One day, I was writing and really enjoying the moment and all of a sudden looked up and saw it was 3:00 p.m. My kids’ school ended at a 3!  I called the school to tell them I would be late, got my little girl. I drove us to school which was in town at least fifteen minutes away.

When I showed up my middle Hobbit said, “Where were you?”

I sheepishly admitted: “I was writing.”

His response was brilliant. “Maybe you should set an alarm.”

After that I did. I never missed a pickup.

My kids are all grown now and life has taken many twists and turns since I started writing all those years ago, but I still strive to have margin. Making time to do everything we “should” do is tough. Keeping a budget, paying bills, work out, medical appointments, friendships, church, spending time with God (that should be first), getting enough sleep, maybe a hobby, date night, laundry… are all important. Are you exhausted yet?

I’ve intentionally tried to live a slower-paced life. I am a homemaker first. We also have an LLC that requires attention. I am a writer and editor but I can’t easily work a 40-hour-week with all my responsibilities.

I like a plan and I don’t especially like change. It’s easier when I initiate it. Life doesn’t give us warnings though. God sometimes lets life happen and we are forced to roll with the punches.

I realized last year I had been experiencing increasing heel pain. Having gone through that before with my other foot, I wasn’t smart enough to make an appointment earlier to get that taken care of. My husband learned he would need a major surgery, so I pushed to get this done. Healing doesn’t always go according to schedule,

Then my Youngest Hobbit decided she’d like to move back home till she heads off to college in the fall. Add a friend as well. That meant in addition to everything else on my plate we had to set up rules and expectations (they pay rent and need to attend church in person every week), but I also had clean out two rooms and part of the basement where they would have a place to hang out and watch television without being forced to be with us older folks. Having them here is a total delight and worth the hard work it took on my part to make it happen. I did have them do some of the heavy lifting. Still, it cut into my margins–and my work.

A few days ago, we learned my husband’s surgery got moved up due to him needing another operation six weeks later. The next morning, I learned my physical therapy needed to be extended. Cue the stress as I try to figure out how to handle all his appointments, keep seeing a physical therapist for my own foot pain, exercise, and doing my stretches daily, keep feeding us, keeping the house clean, oh, and maybe get some marketing and writing done? Add to that staying on top of all his medical appointments before and after surgery as he’ll need me to keep him on track so he can heal well. I just wanted to cry.

And I did.

I do well at getting to bed at a reasonable hour, a habit I cultivated long before I had kids. I’m still making my work-outs a priority as well as my quiet times. I’m making an intentional effort at staying connected to friends. I try to shut down from my work by 4 pm so I can prepare a meal for our family and the rest of the night is usually spent relaxing which is when I try to embroider, unless we decide to play some games, all of which are great ways to relax.

I still get stressed and overwhelmed and need to remind myself of one major truth I learned from Nancy Leigh DeMoss Wolgemuth in her book, Lies Women Believe and the Truth That Sets Them Free.  This one was so important that I keep coming back to it. The lie: There are not enough hours in the day to get my work done. Truth: If that’s the case then maybe I’m not doing the work God has given me to do.

Ouch.

We put money in savings and I have space on my walls for more memories, but time is a much more valuable asset we can never retrieve once it’s gone. I’ve always tried to beat deadlines– again that provides margin. I leave for events early–another margin.

There are days when emotions make it difficult to accomplish anything creative, but I’m learning that I can rest on those days. That’s not being lazy. My body and my emotions tell me I need margin. I don’t need to function at 100% all the time. Even a fine-tuned engine doesn’t do well running 24/7, what makes me think I can do that?

Life is hard, even for writers. I long to do more writing. I have projects I’m eager to work on, but right now, I need to prioritize and do the best I can and give myself grace. Ultimately, I listen to God as He guides me into what I need to do next. The rest will wait. There are projects I’d like to do around the house, and they will wait. Somehow things get done eventually, and that’s a miracle in and of itself. Definitely not because I’m great at this.

So why did I write this? Because, I’m guessing that many of you struggle with the chaos that sometimes visits and upends our lives. If we have a healthy margin we have room to bleed into without sacrificing our health and well-being. Yes, it might be difficult. It might be emotionally challenging, but if we have space to bleed into and other things can be set aside, we’ll come out the other end in a much better place as God uses the challenges to refine us more and more into the image of His Son.

What you have you learned in the pages of your life that help you keep a healthy margin? Or is this something you need to work on? I’d love to hear your perspective.