Tag Archive | gold

Proposal gone wrong

I had my first proposal of marriage on Valentine’s Day, more years back than I would care to admit. While we had looked at rings, I truly was surprised when the moment came. No flowers or fancy environment, he proposed in my living room late in the morning. He got down on one knee (I was sitting) and pulled out a ring and said, “Will you marry me?”

Now any sane young woman would say “Yes” to a proposal – or maybe “No” or “Let me think about it. . .”  Not me. No, I looked at the beautiful gold band with a diamond and two rubies and said “Oh, it’s the wrong ring!”

I think that took him a bit by surprised. “Is that a yes or a no?”

“Yes! But, it’s the wrong ring! I wanted white gold!”

I accepted the proposal and rejected the ring. Seriously. He had worked hard to get that ring, in the right size, for that particular day. I found out that an employee from the jewelery store had to drive to another store the day before to pick it up and have it ready. Imagine her surprise when we walked into that jewelry store to exchange the ring for one with while gold (no rubies although they were not the issue.)  We had to wait a few days for the diamond to be reset, and then he did the proposal – again.

When I called my parents to let them know I was engaged, my father answered. I told him about the issue with the ring and what I had said. He surprised me with his response: “Your mother said the same thing to me when I proposed!” Too funny! I had never heard that story before!

I still, all these years later, laugh at how I responded to a marriage proposal, unwittingly the same way as my own mother had!

We won’t talk about whether it was the “right man.”  He canceled the engagement six months before the wedding and I returned the ring at that time.

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How are things in Gloccamorra?

The past week or so I’ve been in a slump. Literally. No energy and just wanting to curl up with a good book.  Matter of fact, I’ve done a lot of that. Curl up by my pillow in my room and bury myself in novels. Since I had finished writing my NaNoWriMo novel (rough draft), I’ve read the works of others. I call it research as I read in the genre I write. That’s my story and I’m sticking to it.

I understand however that in reality, I am depressed. It hit when I remembered the anniversary of a miscarriage and the trauma that surrounded that time. It was highlighted by the fact that seven years later, I still had no support from people in my life who are pledged to love and care for me. This was amplified on Thanksgiving Day where alcohol and thoughts of shopping were more important than relationships or *gasp* giving thanks to God from whom all blessings flow! Why was I with these people?

So I feel a bit like the leprechaun, Og, from Finnian’s Rainbow which just happens to be the play my husband and I attended on our first date. The funny thing is other than “How are things in Gloccamorra?” – are the words I remember from the scene below  that resonate with me: “Doom and gloom, gloom and doom!”

Ah, but gold was not meant for mere humans.

I am not in the worst funk ever. But it is amazing how the holidays can remind us of things we have lost. And I am reminded once again that this world is NOT my home. My Gloccamorra is heaven and my pot of gold lies in my future there – walking on streets paved with that glorious mineral, alongside my Savior.

Nature’s first green is gold,
Her hardest hue to hold.
Her early leaf’s a flower;
But only so an hour.
Then leaf subsides to leaf.
So Eden sank to grief,
So dawn goes down to day.
Nothing gold can stay.

(‘Nothing Gold can Stay”, Robert Frost)

I need to remember where I’ve buried my treasure. It cannot be found in human beings who will only let me down. Yes, I can enjoy those holy moments that come in this sinful world. But ultimately I need to dig myself out of my hole to see the Creator of the rainbow, and not so much the mythical pot buried at its end.

Am I talking in circles? Maybe. But hey, that’s just where I’m at today. And that’s okay because as I told a friend on Facebook the other day, diamonds shine brighter against a black cloth and the stars shine brighter in the darkest sky. In my darker moments, God’s glory is greater to me and more desirable than if all the lights were turned on and I was feeling great and the world was my oyster (okay, but then we get to pearls, let’s just not go there here!).

Anybody struggling like I am? David writes in Psalm 38:9 “LORD, all my desire is before You, and my sighing is not hidden from You.”  Even in the darkness, I am not alone – and neither are you.