Tag Archive | great books

Author Confessions: Slow Down

Jan26
Reading Time: 4 minutes

Author Confessions: Slow Down

Winter kind of slows everything down doesn’t it? Maybe that’s a signal to us that we should pause a little more as well. Slowing down is often easier said than done.

Sabbath Rest

We try to honor the Sabbath. We attend church and in the summer, we might play mini-golf and grill out. Sometimes we would do dinner with friends. We were challenged with keeping this when we were going through our packing, showing, selling, moving out, and moving into a small, temporary residence. I’m still amazed at how hard we both physically worked during that time period. We still sought to rest on Sunday.

Slowing  down and taking a Sabbath rest is recognizing that God is in control and I’m not. I can let Him take care of the things that weigh on my mind that I sometimes think are so important that only my efforts can make a difference.

Sabbath doesn’t have to be one particular day. Two weeks ago we had a Friday where we hadn’t planned for it but ended up working really hard. Heavy lifting, carrying, loading trailers in the cold. It was not fun but we had a good crew who didn’t give up even though we would have all liked to quit. The next day, I fully expected my hubby to head to the shop. There was plenty to be done. Instead he decided rest was a better option. I could have worked, even with him in our tiny space, but I decided that it was more important to rest with him. We rested again on Sunday. I think we really needed it.

So what did we do? It wasn’t our regular Sabbath rest. We debated going out to look at flooring for our build, or even playing indoor mini-golf, but we decided we preferred to be home. The only time I left was to take the dogs outside to do their business. I started a new embroidery project and worked on a 3D puzzle. We also played some games but mostly chilled and watched some television. I think my hubby might have even napped for a little while in his favorite recliner.

When I served at church on Sunday mornings, I rested in the afternoon but also tried to give myself more time on Monday to rest, reflect, and not rush into the week. God designed us to need rest. It is important physically, emotionally, and spiritually to practice that.

Slowing Down Daily

I start every morning slow which is honestly, hard to do in some ways but I’ve found it essential for a good day. I spend time in God’s word, I journal, perhaps do my homework for Bible Study. I might even read a little. All this with a cup of spiced chai. This is a habit I’ve done even while I was in graduate school. Neighbors would laugh at me getting up so early, but even when my kids were little I would get up before they would wake up for a few minutes of peace and quiet.

I sometimes want to rush throught things but I’m learning more and more that slowing  down my pace and taking my writing and other work slower, I can relax and actually enjoy it more. Instead of thinking of all the other things that need to be done and rushing to get throught the present to rush into the future, I’m learning to take a breath, stretch, and focus on the here and now.

Slowing Down a Story

In writing we often try to keep a steady pace between highs and lows in a story. Sometimes with thrillers or suspense type novels, however, you often find the pace faster. Just as in life sometimes a person can be hit with all kinds of difficulties and crisis at the same time, that can be reflected in fiction. The reader becomes emotionally breathless without a break in the action, even if they put the book down for a time, since the story progresses at a rapid rate of challenges. I’ve read books like this but it is a wild ride!

Often dialogue or inner thoughts on the page will slow down a story and give the reader a break before joining the character as they tackle the next event the author tosses at them. The ups and downs make the reading more enjoyable. A diary of a day-in-the- life of many of use would be boring, so the action is essential in fiction, just as it often is in life.

How do you slow down? I’d be interested in what that means for you. Reading a book? Sometimes for me that is now work (although it can be fun!). What kinds of things do you do to relax and refresh yourself? Are you able to do that weekly? How about slowing down during each day? What tips and tricks might you have for that?

Author Confessions: A Firm Foundation (Part II)

Oct27
Reading Time: 2 minutes

Author Confessions: A Firm Foundation (Part II)

In my previous post I started musing about the physical building of a home and how that relates primarily to faith and the church. It was too long so I divided it up and am continuing it here. You can go back and read it here if you missed it.

I wrote about how certain things need to be added to a foundation (physical) as well as spiritual to make it solid and firm.

On the flip side, you can’t add things to faith as essential that God didn’t intend. You can’t add things that are not spelled out in Scripture as esssential to salvation. Issues like worship styles or whether you have drums or not are more the decorations in the house than they are the foundation.

We can get so hung up on things that are not essential that we miss the point that the church is to be unified which gives it strength and power to carry out it’s mission on this earth. How you want to dress it up is fine, but when you add to those foundational issues, it can weaken the foundation.

I’m being deliberately vague here because I don’t want to point out what I might perceive as thelogical flaws in some churches or denominations. We are currently searching for a church home, so it is essential for us to focus on the solid theology. Of course, there are a lot of other things that can bring down a home, or a church  that have nothing to do with the foundation, and those cracks as it were, or flaws in the building, are not so easily discernable.

We all need wisdom to build our faith, marriage, family and churches. Not just physically but spiritually.

On a lighter note, realize that it is the combination of elements (like Paul talking about parts of the body) that make up a house. We need all the parts. Not just rocks but also gravel and sand. However, even a tiny pebble in your shoe can irritate and cause a blister. A large rock in your path can become a stumbling block.

The church works best when it is bound together, strong and immovable, in Christ, and empowered by the Holy Spirit binding us together. When we think we can go it alone, we might be doing more damage than good.

So where are the cracks in your personal foundation of faith? How can you work to make that a firm foundation to live from?

 

Author Confessions: Relationships Are Messy

Jun9
Reading Time: 3 minutes

Author Confessions: Relationships Are Messy

Does that statement seem more like a “duh” to you? It does to me. As an author we want to have conflict and obstacles for a relationship to face as a story progresses. We want the characters to struggle in their relationships. Kind of sad that we don’t want to read smooth, conflict-free, stories when we were initially created for that kind of life in the Garden of Eden. I can’t imagine how this will play out in heaven when conflict and struggle is all we know down here.

We all come to relationships with a history of good and bad, sometimes trauma, physical, spiritual, or emotional wounds (or all of the above). We come with a family culture that is likely unique from faith, traditions, language, and even the foods we eat. Our neigbhorhoods might be different from others. We might even dress or look different. Our finanical status will impact the quality of life we experience and the kinds of resources that are available to us.

This is why those from a similar cultural upbringing might have an easier time than those from totally foreign experiences. That doesn’t guarantee if you marry someone of the same skin tone, faith, school background and family background and even genetics, that you will be conflict free.

We are so unique in so many ways that it really is a miracle when people can get a long at all. We are emotional people as well and the way we are wired is not identical to anyone else even if you can fit in a similar Meyers-Briggs catagory. I have three close friends and we all share the same Meyer’s Briggs type – but we are still so very different from each other.

I was watching Doc Martin a while back and his wife struggled with how different Martin was but finally had to realize that there is no one who is truly “normal” and trying to completely change him without considering that she might have some flaws to iron out as well, was difficult for her to come to grips with. She finally did.

Appreciating someone for the unique person they are does not mean excusing sin or enabling destructive behaviors.

An author has to take this all into account while writing a story. Sometimes it is the quirkiest characters that people love the most. Maybe that is because all of us have some quirks and can relate to feeling different at times.

If we think any relationship is going to avoid conflict and the need to navigate difficulty, we are delusional. It is what makes stories so much fun to read, but in real life it is rarely comfortable or fun. Often when we face someone else’s personality rubbing ours the wrong way, we need to look at ourselves to figure out how much of that is them–and how much is us.

Not everyone is going to be a friend. Even so that doesn’t mean we need to be disrespectful to them, even if for our own sanity we need to avoid or limit our interactions with them. That is a tricky balancing act: preserve our emotional well-being while trying to be respectful. Boundaries can be hard to execute but we need to do that and be clear about those limits where possible. It’s OK to protect yourself in any interaction.

It’s a miracle that after traumatic pasts, both my husband and I generally get along well and enjoy each other’s company. When life is stressful, or someone is in pain, or doesn’t get enough rest, or is hangry (angry due to hunger) it can definitely complicate our interactions. It would be nice if we could all just totally get what is going on inside someone’s head, but I guarantee mine is sometimes a dumpster fire and not pretty.

So why do I bring this up? Because in our fantasies the right person in our life will make everything perfect. We deny the accomodations, the negotiations, along with everything else that goes into a relationship. We need to be real because sin has impacted every aspect of this world. It seperated us from God but can also drive a wedge in between us and people we care about. Navigating all of that takes humility, prayer, and effort.

Do you agree that relationships are messy? How do you navigate that in your own life? What kind of characters are you drawn to in fiction and how messy are their lives?