I Write Because Murdering People is Wrong

There is something cathartic about writing. I journal but when I write a story I get to retell an incident that might or might not have happened in real life to me or someone else… and without picking up a gun or plotting the perfect murder, I can see justice done. So, really, writing is keeping me out of jail.

Not that I’ve ever really had the desire to murder anyone. Punch them, sure. See them suffer harm or even natural consequences for the things they’ve done, absolutely.

As a Christian I’m supposed to forgive and I’ve walked long enough with Christ now to realize that it is the only way to freedom for me to  have any joy in my life and to be able to hear His voice. I’m not saying what people have done wrong to me was acceptable. Absolutely not. I’m not saying they still don’t deserve punishment. They do.

Just not at my hands.

“Vengeance is Mine, and retribution; In due time their foot will slip. For the day of their disaster is near, And the impending things are hurrying to them.” (Deuteronomy 32:35 NASB). The Psalms are filled with David’s confidence that God will vindicate him and give him victory over his (and God’s) enemies. 

Sometimes when people have wronged me it’s not really about me at all–it’s about Christ who they see in me. As image bearers of the King of kings and Lord of lords and heirs to His kingdom, we don’t have to fight all those battles. Sometimes we just need to wait and trust that God sees and understands our pain and will fight for us. We may never fully understand how or when and we don’t get to dictate the terms of that recompense, but we can trust that God will see it done at some point.

Some people call that karma. Nope. It’s just God being the Righteous Judge of the universe He created.

Now, having said all that, in some ways as an author I get to be the god over the story He’s allowing me and helping me to write. And yes, He does allow me that satisfaction of seeing justice done to bad dudes. Murdering fictional people in a story isn’t wrong because I’m not specifically thinking about murdering a real person when I do it. Honestly, when I see justice done I’m not substituting a real human villian in my mind for the character on the page. Still, it is satisfying to see my characters get some semblence of justice.

Someday, those who have wronged me will get theirs too. Not at the hands of my pen because that would be slander, but at the hands of God who is far more fearsome and whose holiness would destroy me if it weren’t for the gift of salvation I’ve received through His Son, Jesus.

See, I’m not perfect either, and my sins are forgiven. Even if I did something truly heinous, God would most likely allow natural consquences to follow even though He forgives me when I come to Him and confess.

Which means those who have wronged me or those I love, could also repent of their sins as well. True repentance would mean taking ownership of the sin and going to make things right with the individual sinned against. Even then there might not be reconciliation but there could at least be peace. Not every act of forgiveness is a carte blanche to trust that person, at least not right away. Not all people are safe and worthy of access to us.

Having stated all that and my utmost confidence in God as Judge, it can still be hard to let go of the control and desire to hurt someone who has hurt me or someone I care deeply about. Sometimes the urge to defend someone else is even stronger. I have no right to hold on to someone else’s offenses. I was not personally offended and it is not my responsibility to defend or protect the injured person. Pray for, comfort, encourage them to seek a resolution, absolutely, but for me to go to the offender and complain would be triangulation and wrong as well as highly dysfunctional.

Many of us just want the control. There is power behind anger and being offended. We feel self-righteous and “better-than” the person who offended us. Matthew 18:15-17 says: “Now if your brother sins, go and show him his fault in private; if he listens to you, you have gained your brother. But if he does not listen to you, take one or two more with you, so that on the testimony of two or three witnesses every matter may be confirmed. And if he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church; and if he refuses to listen even to the church, he is to be to you as a Gentile and a tax collector.” These words are wise in letting us get help when we can’t find peace on our own, but even then that third person who isn’t involved is supposed to promote peace, not go in as a sledge-hammer against the person who did the hurt. I’ve had to do this process many times and I wish I could say it all turned out great. It didn’t. Having those steps though helps me set the offense aside and move forward, leaving the other person in the hands of God.

Wow, this post became very complicated. It’s really not. I write so I don’t murder anyone because murder is wrong. Or slander. Or punch their lights out. Or tell the whole world what a horrible, verbally abuseive narcissistic jerk they are. (OK, maybe that was a little too specific?). In many ways our sinful world filled with  hurt, injury, injustice, abuses of all kinds, makes for a rich well to draw from when writing stories. Years later,  parlaying some of those tragedies, whether my own or someone else’s, provides a bit of a relief valve while I wait for God to take care of the real-life nasty people.

I’m grateful that even though I might unintentionally hurt someone else, God gives His grace to me. So I will forgive those who have done wrong and leave it in God’s capable hands. Mine are too busy typing anyway.