Tag Archive | smile

Author Confessions: It’s The Little Things (Part III)

Reading Time: 3 minutes

Author Confessions: It’s The Little Things (Part III)

Last week might have been a downer, not that I haven’t written about sin, especially how emotions running amuck can lead us down bad paths, but still, who wants to keep being reminded about a truth we’d rather forget? As an author who is a follower of Jesus Christ, it would be negligence for me to avoid the topic.

I want to focus more on positive little things for this post.

I was doing training thirty years ago and the gal coaching me showed me a photo in her office, hung on the wall. A gorgeous sunset. With a black spot. She said too often we focus on the negative instead of the positive and that photo reminds her to look beyond the mistakes to the good that they were doing in their ministry.

It takes effort to look past the bad things in this world and instead spread some kindness and goodness. Like a smile to stranger. Sending a cheerful or silly GIF to a friend to brighten their day. Writing a card and mailing it, just because that person was on your mind (don’t let the price of a stamp become a big thing!). A hug (ask permission first).

I am trying to be more intentional when I am out in public. I can get so focused on my own tasks and I’m an introvert, so this is a challenge. Maybe it is for you. As a result, if I observe someting I like, I go and tell an individual. “That pink blouse is beautiful on you,” or maybe because I know the challenges of curly hair, “Your hair is beautiful, look at those gorgeous curls!” It can be as simple as giving a stranger a smile as you pass their cart in the grocery store. Or giving a struggling mom a word of encouragement as they struggle. “You’re doing great. I’ve been there. It will get better.”  (I try to avoid the trite “Enjoy these moments, you’ll miss them someday and it goes so fast.” I don’t miss stepping on legos).

One day on his way to our  farm property, my husband bought a box of hand picked donuts at Kwik Trip. On his way back to his truck, he spied a man at the fuel pump who looked like he was having a bad day. My dramatic husband decided to act like Donkey from Shrek and said “You look like you could use a donut!” The man was startled and grabbed a donut to the open carton presented to him. My husband didn’t bother to tell him that one blueberry one he chose was my hubby’s favorite. Making that man’s day brighter was worth it. He will often offer a shopping cart to someone going into a store but adds, “It’s a two speed so be careful!” That always gets a grin. He intentionally tries to make people smile.

On the phone when dealing with calls, whether ot the doctor’s office or insurance, there’s usually enough time to be friendly or tell them to have a wonderful day. It sounds trite but too often people who are working at answering phones are dismissed or even treated rudely. At a restaurant, address your waiter by name if you can. Everyone deserves to be seen and something that simple validates their existance. One caveat: robo calls. Try to hang up before you get a person or an automated message. I try to be as polite as possible when I get a person but they won’t listen when I say no, I say thank you and hang up.

You don’t have to be creative or unique–just sincere. Love people where they are at even if you don’t know their name. God does. Some people go so far as to ask “How can I pray for you?” and if you’re courageous enough to stop and pray for them right then and there.

It’s the little things that can make a big difference in someone’s day. Small doesn’t mean insignificant. What little things could you do that might make a difference in the lives of others?

Living Large (Part 1)

Reading Time: 3 minutes

IMG_0030I’ve had a rough year with weight loss. On the flip side, I’ve had a great year with weight gain. Between illnesses and unexplained back pain I’ll admit I’ve at times sought comfort in food that probably would not normally qualify as healthy. (gotta define that first!)

I’m back to the YMCA working out in spite of my struggles (since I’ve determined I’m not doing any damage in spite of the ongoing pain issue). The biggest workout has been in my own thinking and I’m not there yet. I wish there was an easy way to suck the bad messages that have been force-fed into my brain all my life. There’s really no lipo for that though, is there?

But the last few days I was thinking about some of my  friends that are not a size zero either. I’m not going to set a bar for weight or dress size that determines whether someone is “fat” or not.

Here’s what I realized. Some of the sweetest, most encouraging and beautiful people I know–are overweight.

What?

Yup. It’s true. I adore these people. I want to be around them because they smile and they know (I hope) that their BMI is not what God is interested in. They have won me over because of their positive attitude and the way they graciously treat and encourage others around them, including me.

A few years back I had mentioned the name of a gal who sang on a worship team. Someone else didn’t know who she was. I said “She’s on the short side and has the biggest, sweetest smile” and another person said “Oh, she’s the fat one.” Is it any wonder I didn’t really “like” the person who would make a comment like that?

I wish there was a correct way to say to my fellow ladies who tend to larger-than-normal sizes: “Hey, I don’t know if weight is an issue you struggle with, but the first thing I think of when I think of you is how much I enjoy being around you.”

I have to turn this around to look at my own self-condemnation over my weight. The number on a scale or the size on a pair of jeans is NOT the measure of my character or worth. It has little to do with the way I treat others. I am more gracious to those around me with similar issues, than I am to myself.

I’m not my own best friend but sometimes an even bigger enemy are  those around me that keep telling me I’m fat and need to lose weight.

News flash: I already know that.

I love the idea that if someone tells you you’re fat – you should eat them. Except those kind of people are not nice. The probably wouldn’t taste very good, even well seasoned. Even if they are skinny and dress well. Their character stinks. Their words pollute. I don’t want to be around them. They might even call themselves “truth-tellers” but there’s a big difference between encouraging someone and putting them down and it goes far beyond the words that come out of someone’s mouths.

I am NOT saying that all “skinny” people out there are evil. Some are delightful and I even call them friends!

So why am I writing about this here? Maybe so that if someone I know, who struggles with this issue and reads this post, they’ll know that what I see in them isn’t their size, but their attitude and smile and their love of God and other people. And maybe together we can encourage each other, not to lose weight, but to savor the value we truly have, that goes beyond the scale.

After all, the heart is what God looks at too, so why should we be any different?