Author Confessions: God and Me and a Cup of Tea

I might have written about this before and if I’ve told you this story, please give me grace because it is one of my favorite stories to tell of God’s goodness, even though it was relatively small in comparison to what might have been considered “bigger” needs for God to meet. I told it to someone the other day and it hit me in a new way and I am overwhelmed with gratitude that God shows up in unexpected ways like this.

Years ago, in a verbally abusive marriage and living in a tiny, moldy, three bedroom mobile home, raising raising three little kids and not working outside my home anymore, I struggled to try to honor my then-husband as “head” of our household. He wasn’t walking with God and refused any attempts at accountability from men at church.

Every morning I made myself a spiced chai latte from a powder that I ordered online. I saved money by buying it in bulk (these were the days before amazon!). That cup of tea was part of my time with God every morning, early in the kitchen before the kids (or husband) were awake. It enabled me to have peace and quiet and watch the sunrise from the living room window that faced east.

I was running low, so I ordered the chai. When it was delivered it was left outside our mobile home. Husband picked it up and brought it in to the kitchen and in his ever not-so-charming-abusive tone asked, “What is this?”

I had ordered chai many times before and the box clearly stated where it was from and what it contained.

“It’s chai. I was running low and ordered some.”

“You can’t have this. It has suger and that’s not good for you,” he said as he grabbed the box and carried it down the hall and placed it on the dryer in the bathroom before leaving the mobile home.

I shook my head and prayed. “God I know the chai is fine for me to have, but I will submit to my husband even if I don’t agree with him. I don’t need chai to meet with you. If YOU decide that having a cup of chai in the morning is fine, you will  make him bring that box in here and open it up and refill the container.”

Later, I informed the “head” our home that I did not appreciate being spoken to like he had.

Every morning after that, I came to the kitchen and made my chai. The last day I finished what remained in the container. I washed it out and set it aside to dry and told God again that I was grateful for the chai but I would honor Him. If it was OK for me to have that treat every morning, He knew how to tell me so.

My husband never knew about that prayer. I’ve never told him this story.

That Friday, he came storming in into the mobile home and went to the kitchen and opened the door where we kept the chai container. He slammed it shut asked, “Where’s the chai?”

I pointed to the empty container and said, “I drank the last of it this morning. It’s all gone.”

“Didn’t you buy more?” Funny question, right? He was serious! He’d completely forgotten his announcement only a few days before.

“Yes, I did.”

“Well, where is it?”

“You placed the box on the dryer.”

He stormed down the hallway, grabbed the box, opened it up and took out a bag of chai. He cut open the bag and poured it into the container and then went to make himself a cup of tea.

He didn’t usually drink chai and it has minimal caffeine. He got his chai in a mug and headed back out to his office.

I smiled to myself and said, “God, You are truly awesome. Thank You.”

Now, why is this story so important to me? Did I NEED chai? Not at all. It is a luxery, a treat. I’ve gone a year without it when I went totally without sugar. I now have chai without the powder, and am fully satisfied.

It matters for these reasons, but the last one hit me fresh because I had totally missed then what God really did in that moment.

• First – I share this because God does meet our needs, and this was definitely a want. But He delights in giving good things to His children.
• Secondly – God can even use people who are not following Him to show His glory. Even if in that moment it was only to me.
• Third, and the point I originally missed when I’ve told that story, was this: God did meet a very real NEED in my life at that moment. Not for chai. He showed me that in my struggles and pain. I was not alone. He saw me. Giving me a cup of chai was a small thing. Back then I rejoiced that God acted on my behalf, in spite of my husband’s declaration and forbidding me to have chai and missed this.

What brings me to tears is that He met the need I didn’t express. He knew me. He respected my obediance to an unjust order by an abusive person. He protected me. He provided a want, but what I needed more than anything, and maybe I never fully realized it as much as I do now, almost 15-20 years later, was that He was always there and saw me, and loved me.

I hate asking for prayer requests. We often ask for healing, or help, or for our finances, or for us right now issues with building a house as a deadline looms for us to move out of our apartment. In reality, what we really need, or maybe it’s just me, is more of Jesus. To have that kind of faith that boldly asks for minor things.

All these years later – it’s been probably thirty years since I started my chai-love combined with my time with God- it is still God and me and a cup of tea every morning. And that cup, even though the mug is different as they seem to break after a time,  is something I hope I never take for granted. He sees me. He sees you. And He delights in meeting more than our needs when we submit our lives to Him. I have so many more stories but this one is a favorite and I’m glad He keeps revealing more of who He is to me, every time I share it. What an amazing God we serve!

God has since given me a new husband (met him 8 years ago!) who will go out of his way to get me a cup of chai when we travel. He sees it as a way to show he cares. He sees me too. I am blessed.

Do you have any stories like this? I would love to hear them!