Author Confession: The Dangerous Emotion of Jealousy

Jealousy is another emotion we often downplay and don’t confront in others, much less ourselves. It’s a great tool in romance novels because jealousy can cause people to do things that create conflict and that’s always great for a story.

It’s not so good in real life. I’ve struggled with jealousy throughout my life. I’m sure you have to if you’re honest. It’s an emotion. Even God gets jealous but then He has good reason to be when His children seek worthless idols to distract them from a relationship with Him. We are all guilty of that. So when God is jealous and gets angry because of that jealousy, it is acceptable and not a sin.

For His created people, it is sin if we let ourselves simmer there. Jealousy is coveting what someone else has. The tenth commandment states: “You shall not covet your neighbor’s house; you shall not covet your neighbor’s wife or his male servant or his female servant or his ox or his donkey or anything that belongs to your neighbor.” Exodus 20:17. Interesting that it does not disparage the desire for the gifts God has given us. Much like our Lord, we can be jealous for time with our spouse or children. As long as that emotion doesn’t lead us into sin.

I can drive around and admire homes without being jealous or wanting that particular home, or one like it. But if I am jealous and desire that home then I’m sinning because I am not content with what God has given me.

I’ve been jealous of other authors. Their successes. Their writing style. The big publishing contract. But I stop myself for a few reasons from dwelling there. Here’s why:

• God gave them a unique voice and calling and to elevate theirs as superior is to denigrate the work HE has done in and through me.
• Big book sales do not always equate to eternal impact. If I want to make money, I could write the stuff that really sells, but that is not what God has called me to do.
• If I believe God has called and led me on the path I am on, it is wrong for me to compare that with the path He has someone else on.
• I have no idea the sacrifices that person has made to get where they are. As most don’t know mine either.
• If God blesses another author with a bigger sales and paycheck than myself and we are both being obedient to Him, then I should rejoice in His work because He knows the plans He has for all of us to use for His glory.

So how do I fight the tendency to jealousy? I stop and celebrate what God has done for that author. When it comes to Christian publishing, we are all on the same team! We don’t need to be competitive or one up another. That’s why I rejoined a writer’s group – so I could be a cheerleader and also be encouraged on my journey. I’ll admit sometimes I feel inferior no matter how many books I’ve written.

What about jealousy in other areas of life? We can elevate people based on outward appearances but we may not be aware of the dysfunction behind the scenes. Maybe a family looks great on the outside, perfect husband and wife and kids with no problems. At least for now. That you know of. Or someone with a great career, but again, we don’t know the sacrifices or maybe even the heartache that is going on deep inside. Good things come with a cost.

Being jealous is telling God that what He has given me isn’t good enough. It’s like the second son in the story of the prodigal son (Luke 15:11-32) who is upset that the father never threw a party for him but gave one for the returning wastrel. Jesus told a parable about a master paying laborers the same even though some didn’t work as long. (Matthew 20:1-16) and likened this to the Kingdom of Heaven. Jesus can distribute gifts through the Holy Spirit and blessings as HE sees fit and I have no right to be angry or jealous. My job is to honor and obey HIM and not seek other things, including a lucartive publishing contract or huge sales. If I submit to the Jesus and let the Holy Spirit reign in my heart and life than I have reward enough.

When I stand before the throne of God someday He is not going to ask me why my kids didn’t turn out as accomplished as someone else’s kids, or why my house wasn’t bigger or better, or cleaner! He’s not going to judge me on my BMI or the brand of clothing I wear. He won’t care how many people read this blog or how many books I wrote or sold, or how many people follow me on social media.

He will only care that I repented of my sins and put my faith in Jesus Christ alone.

There will be rewards for the obedience and forgiveness for my failures, even the ones I’m not aware of. That’s grace.

We all stand equal at the foot of the cross. It is a level playing field and the rest is smoke and mirrors. Where is my devotion? God is jealous for me to worship only Him not book sales. The dangerous emotion of jealousy can impact all of us in various ways. How do you deal with it?