Tag Archive | freedom

Author Confessions: We All Get Stuck

Jul1
Reading Time: 5 minutes

Author Confessions: We All Get Stuck

I remember a pastor asking me once how he could help hurting people. I told him that primarily people need to talk and he needs to listen, offer compassion, and maybe resources when appropriate.

That’s a very simplified look at counseling, yet sometimes it is the simplest things that can make a difference when we are helping someone, especially those stuck while dealing with difficult emotions like grief, anger, abandonment, betrayal… through death, divorce, abuse, neglect, or when someone close turns their back on you whether a friend, spouse, or adult child.

Complicated and strong emotions can be a challenge to deal with. You’ve probably gathered that from my various Dangerous Emotions posts.

Someone recently begged me to provide some simple things they could try to help someone who was stuck due to a traumatic loss. He was grateful for the help and figured maybe some of that could be helpful to you as well as you come across people who are hurting. Many of my books in my Orchard Hill Series look at aspects of this too, especially Pesto and Potholes.

You Can’t Understand

Even if you have gone through a similar situation: abuse, divorce, church hurt, loss of someone close, you can tell them you you can’t understand what they are going through. Every situation and person is different and the emotional fallout they experience will be unique. Even if you haven’t experienced it, you can tell them it hurts you to see him hurting. You don’t know what to do, which leaves you feeling helpless and frustrated.

o   Another way to say that might be: “(Name), when you repeatedly talk about _____________, I feel helpless and sad because I don’t know how to help you.” It’s not blaming the person, but acknowledging their pain while sharing your own feelings and desire to offer comfort.

o   You can acknowledge that the individual has trauma from all this and even suggest trauma therapy, or just regular therapy. Their church might be able to recommend someone. There are therapists online as well making it more convenient. It can be a suggestion and it is up to them to decide if they want to follow through.

Point out the Positive

God is always at work even in the difficulties of life. If you can, tell the person where you’ve seen growth or improvement in their life. It can be small. “I know you’re hurting but you got up today and even agreed to meet with me. That’s a win.”  Even if they seem stuck, help them see where they might be making strides forward even if it is three steps forward two steps back. They are moving. Try to remind them of the positives wherever you can. When dark emotions are clouding everything else they might not be able to see the positive.

o   Even as they are moving forward in so many ways, it is OK to point out they may still be acting helpless when it comes to the aftermath of situation with the various emotions they might be strugglign with like:  betrayal, abandonment, viciousness, and grief.

o   Avoid comments like: “I know how you feel,” or “God has a plan,” or “We all go through hard times,” or “Someday you will be able to see what God was doing.” While there might be truth in many of those statements they are not helpful when someone is spinning in emotional circles. They don’t care about the future right now or God’s plan. Pain can overwhelm all of that and it will come across as insensitive. Don’t put on a band aid where a tourniquet is required. Don’t brush off emotions as unimportant or that they should just, “Get over it already.”

Remind them of the Whatevers

Scripture tells us to focus on: “Whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is of good repute, if there is anything excellent or praiseworthy, let your mind dwell on these things. (Phil 4:8 NASB). I’ve even used this in some of my books. In psychology it is called reframing.

o   Example: When my car broke down when my kid were little, in the middle of a busy highway at night, and we needed to be towed, in the van, up on to the back of the tow truck platform, I could tell my kids were a bit scared. I told them “We’re having an adventure!” I must have used that too often for them because my daughter, in her car seat said, “I think we’ve had too many adventures.” LOL!

o   Anyway, if they say something like, “I don’t know what I did wrong,” You could respond with something like, “We all do things wrong in relationships, however, what did you do right? Maybe you weren’t perfect, no one is. Then focus again on the positive by pointing out positive virtues you see in them. Did they put on clean clothes? Do their hair? Even simple tasks like that can be challenging when emotions are overwhelming. Acknowledge the small wins but dont’ be patronizing.

o  One man I know used to say often, “I must be a bad man.” I had to remind him that while he is not perfect, and made mistakes, he is a good man with a kind and generous heart and not everyone can see that if they are fed lies and holding on to anger and resentment. Those lies do not need to become his truth. God sees and understands the truth behind all those things, and we can trust HIM to be the judge and take care of those who hate us or try to undermine us.

They May Not be the True Target

Sometimes what people are really opposed to isn’t us – it’s the God we are seeking to serve. As people draw closer to God then thedivide in a relationshiop can become greater. Especially for victims who have been abused and try to leave, it is the most dangerous time, even if they were never physically attacked before it could happen then. When we follow Jesus and make our life choices as He leads us some people will take issue with that and they might even claim truth from God to get you to do their will.

Much the vitriol people can spew out is more about Jesus than it was about a the person.  Just being around someone who is (imperfectly) seeking a godly path can feel like the Holy Spirit is poking someone who isn’t. One work of the Holy Spirit in this world is to convict people of sin and unrighteousness. That can make it uncomfortable for those who are walking away from Him and intentionally choosing a sinful path.

We all get stuck. I’ve been stuck and in hindsight I wish someone would have gently listened and then helped me see more and more the victim I had become. I felt hopelessly stuck but eventually God led me to resources that challenged me to change. That realization that I had slid into that kind of position was hard to swallow. Devestating actually. Thankfully between God, a wise therapist, and amazing friends who listened and loved me,  I was able to see God mature me, change me, and eventually leave that situation. God was with me every step of the way. We all get stuck but the good news is God never abandons us. Keep seeking Him. The LORD brings people with skin on to help us take steps towards healing and freedom.

I hope this helps when you find someone, perhaps close to you, who is struggling. We all get stuck at some point or another, so offer a listening ear, a shoulder to cry on, and love.

If you think I’m giving schmaltz that ignores blatant sin… stay tuned for next week.

 

Author Confessions: Happy Memorial Day

May26
Reading Time: 4 minutes

Author Confessions: Happy Memorial Day

I hope that wherever you are you are getting a chance today to remember that many who have gone before us and some who left us way too soon. They sacrificed for the freedom we enjoy today.

Memorial Day is to remember those veterans who have died, whether during service or after. I found this short poem years ago and put it as my Facebook header every year at this time because Joseph Rodman Drake wrote it so beautifuly. “And they who for their country died shall fill and honored grave, for glory lights the soldier’s tomb and beauty weeps the brave.”

As this weekend is upon us, I’m thinking of my grandfather, James B. Pollard, who passed away in 1989 after a battle with cancer. Both wars that are difficult for the individual and the families left behind. During WWII he kept a journal of his experinces. Not day by day, but musings of things he couldn’t send in a letter to his wife and two children left at home in Wisconsin. They didn’t know where he was going and what he would face. Reading his memories forced me to rethink about the men who fought (and still fight) our battles. Many are so very young. My grandfather had a toddler and newborn when he left for war, but many others did not. Some were wiser and mature and others were foolish and impulsive and he details the shenanigans and difficulties. My grandmother gave me permission to publish this work. I primarily wanted it to be something for my kids, grandkids, or anyone else interested. That little book is in kindle and print at the lowest price I could make it, so I don’t profit off of it. Journey to Lekhipani: A G.I.’s Experiences in WWII. It’s not a long read but he had a way with words and I could almost see and smell India when he writes about arriving there.

Version 1.0.0

This book is also in the U.S. Army War College Library and Archives at the U.S. Army Heritage and Education Center at Carlisle, Pa, due to an assist from my first cousin once removed, Richard S. Brown, who has also written a book, and his interview on my blog can be found here. There isn’t much written about the war in India, but that was where my grandfather was sent. Just writing about this now makes me want to read his book again this weekend, even though I retyped the entire thing to get it published, it’s a story that resonates with me. He was my grandpa but long before that he fought for the children, grandchildren, great-grandchildren and great-great grandchildren to come, and many who would never get to know the sweet man he was.

Grandpa lived to come home, have another child and raise his family and lived to see grandchildren. So many others never got that opportunity. My grandmother never spoke about the war to her children and didn’t save the letters she exchanged with her husband during that time. It was too painful. My father said that as a child the Army stuff was stashed in a corner of the garage. After his death, however, with military honors, the flag was in a box and kept as a momento by her until she too passed away.

I was twenty-three when Grandpa died and I still have fond memories of him from my childhood. I grieved the the future he would never have, that he wouldn’t be there to see me reach certain milestones in life. He was only sixty-eight when he died.

This year my husband lost his older brother who also served in the Army, and he too, died way too soon. Memorial Day will be significantly more poignant because of that.

What is it about a 21 gun salute, followed by Taps, that makes me cry?  Death, sacrifice, freedom. As they say, freedom is never free. Unfortunately, too many these days feel entitled to it but would never sacrifice their lives for it.

My publisher has been promoting my novel, Finnian’s Rescue, and while it is about a veteran, he doesn’t die in this story. If you like a military survival story, you can check it out and I’ll be thrilled if you would write a review. If you purchase and read my grandfather’s tome, a review there would be lovely as well.  Other military romantic suspenses I’ve written with DeeDee Lake are: Operation: Camouflage Christmas, Operation: Allegiance, Operation: Reconnaissance and Operation: Skirmish and hopefully come December: Mission: Hannah’s Heart.

Enjoy this day, but don’t forget and thank God for the brave men and women who have died to give us the opportunity picnic, work in the yard, celebrate with friends, go camping, have a parade, and eat brats (I’m in Wisconsin, it’s a thing). Thank Him as well for the families left behind, some of whom never got to hug their service member when the war was over, but instead stood beside a flag draped coffin.

How does this relate to fiction? That is a work in progress for next year. You’ll have to wait and see, but the past impacts the present in a beautiful way, and of course it’s a romance.

Happy Memorial Day.

 

Author Confessions: The Dangerous Emotion of Anger

Nov18
Reading Time: 5 minutes

Author Confessions: The Dangerous Emotion of Anger

If you are not aware, I have a Masters degree in Couseling Psychology from Trinity Evangelical Divinity School in Deerfield, IL. I have worked in the field of mental health for several years with chronic mental illness clients on disability as well as served in various leadership capacities at my church in the past. I’ve also been on my own mental health journey (aren’t we all?). So how does that relate to writing? Because as an author I am responsible to be theologically biblical as I tell my stories and there are differing opinions on some key emotional concepts. I’m going to address one here and you can disagree with me if you wish but I’m honestly trying to be three things in this article 1) biblically true, 2) aware of my reader’s emotional wellbeing and 3) be brief. For that reason even though there are several of these emotions…I’ll be dealing with them seperately over a few posts.

I heard a teaching recently that made my blood boil. The preacher said that Jesus got angry and it was righteous anger and that was the only kind of anger that is permissible. In essence, if your anger is righteous, meaning you are angry about something that violates God’s law, then it is acceptable. All other anger is sin and destins you to hell.

For some reason, growing up, I had caught the concept that anger was sin. I won’t go into my family of orgin issues, but needless to say as a new believer at the age of fifteen, this caused some difficulty for me. Jesus was God, but He got angry. In my teenage mind that meant He sinned. This resulted in my stuffing down my feelings of hurt, frustration, and anger which then resulted in a variety of health issues. I didn’t understand that anger was an emotion that was part of the human condition because we were made in the image of God. My mind was blown when I finally grasped that Jesus didn’t sin! Whew!

So maybe you can understand why this teaching from the pulpit stirred my righteous indignation at a teaching that denies the very essence of a key part who God created us to be: emotional. This is a communicable attribute of God. We are created in HIS image and part of that is emotion, including anger.

Anger is mentioned 234 times in Scripture and the word angry is mentioned 44 times (based on Strong’s Concordance). The LORD repeatedly expressed anger towards His children who consistantly disobeyed the rules He set out to protect them. God has emotions. He created us with emotions. Those emotions are neither good nor bad, they just are.

Now let’s look a little closer at anger. Ephesians 4:26a states: Be angry, and yet do not sin. Wait. What? Anger is not a sin? It is only what you do with the anger that can be a sin. 

Let’s unpack the emotion of anger. Anger is often part of a continuum of emotions. Sometimes we are angry but it is really hurt or frustration. Anger can become rage. If you think of it as a continuum and expand the concept, anger encompasses a wider range of emotions, and in and of themselves, not a sin. Now if anger becomes rage and you start insulting someone, wishing them ill, or worse, seeking their destruction, then that is the sin.

In Matthew 5:22 it states: “But I say to you that everyone who is angry with his brother shall be answerable to the court; and whoever says to his brother, ‘You good-for-nothing,’ shall be answerable to the supreme court; and whoever says, ‘You fool,’ shall be guilty enough to go into the fiery hell.”  In this instance the Greek word for anger means to provoke or enrage, or wrath. (Strongs Concordance, 3710). This is a strong anger. Rage. And we all, I hope, can recognize how deadly that can be. There isn’t a term “road rage” without cause.

Let’s go back to Matthew. In this passage, Jesus is speaking against murder, which consists of taking someone’s life and Jesus is taking the action and stating the very thought of that is also sin. Sounds reasonable doesn’t it? Sometimes when we think or feel things strongly, if we don’t confront those thoughts and emotions they can become actions. Jesus is expressing an early version of cognitive behavioral therapy here and going to the root of the issue: our thoughts. Thoughts precede emotion. What we think about something determines our emotions regarding that. Calling someone a derogatory name is also not really anger, it is pride. The person is exalting himself above the other and assuming a superior attitude.  2 Corinthians 10: 5 states: “We are destroying arguments and all arrogance raised against the knowledge of God, and we are taking every thought captive to the obedience of Christ.” Again, another cognitive action because thoughts influence actions, including words.

Who hasn’t struggled with this? We all have have violated the Thou shalt not kill commandment, even in our thoughts. Thankfully, we can repent, change our thinking and by the power of the Holy Spirit, our hearts and emotions as well. Jesus’ death on the cross even covers this sin.

Let’s be honest here. We cannot control what thoughts come into our brain, but we can determine what we do about them. Our brain isn’t always telling us the truth either. We have been fed lies all our lives and some we make up our own. We are to line them up with Scripture and replace those lies with truth.

In summary, anger is not a sin. It is an emotion given to us by God. Anger is a signal to tell us something is wrong. Maybe it comes from hurt, or jealousy, or frustration. We can be angry at ourselves, innanimate objects and, of course, other people. But when we are angry with someone, if it is possible to do so we are to go them and work it out like Matthew 18:15-18 states we should do.

We always need to be discerning about who and what we listen to and evaluate everything against Scripture. However, if confronting the person is not possible, as in this instance, we can talk to God about it, process it without slandering an individual, and pray that God will open this person’s eyes and protect the innocent and less knowledgeble people who heard the message. I am not superior to this preacher by any stretch of the imagination, and I pray God will correct this man by the power of His Spirit. And I will not be listening to his false teaching.

How does this relate to writing? Obviously, my characters experience a range of emotions but I need to be clear where that crosses into sin. Even if I don’t use scripture, I can help a reader understand that our emotions are given to us by God, but we can work to overcome them leading us into sin.

It does grieve me the damage teachings like this does to people. This isn’t the only one. I’ll be dealing with lust next. The dangerous emotion of anger hopefully has been dispelled. Be angry and sin not is a process we all need to work on and with the power of the Holy Spirit we can be victorious. We can feel our emotions, confront the underlying thought, and move past it to freedom.

Author Confessions: Limits to Freedom of Speech

Jul1
Reading Time: 6 minutes

Author Confessions: Limits to Freedom of Speech

As we head into another United States of America Independence Day I was pondering freedom. We have many freedoms in the USA and one of them is freedom of speech. However, there are limitations to this, especially in the Christian publishing industry.

Universal Limitations

  • Lyrics. Not just anything can go on the printed page. Some are universal for all publishing. For instance, I cannot print lyrics from a song without permission from that songwriter and the music publisher. The exception is if it is public domain. That means the origin of the song has to be at least 95 to 120 years and no one owns the intellectual property rights. Most old hymns and Christmas carols fall into this category. However, if one is writing contemporary fiction newer songs cannot be referenced via lyrics in the narrative of a book, not even if you are giving credit. This becomes a legal issue that one has to be careful about.
  • Slander. One has to be very careful about writing about real people and telling real stories. Unless permission is granted the author and publisher could be liable for charges of slander if someone mentioned in a book feels that their reputation is ruined or declares that the words written by him or her are not true. That’s a tricky road to walk because we all have our own interpretation of events that have happened in our lives. But what if my perception of events is not viewed the same way by someone who has offended me? Unless there is a decided legal case which convicts someone of a specific crime, any thing else could be suspect. This is what happened when Amber Heard wrote an article stating she was the victim of abuse. While she never named her ex-husband, Johnny Depp, most people understood that was who she was talking about and he lost work due to that. The court found that she was liable for slander. Freedom of speech did not protect her from saying negative things even though she didn’t even mention his name. I’ve read some books where it was easy to find the name of the person being talked about and I often wondered if that wouldn’t have opened up the author (and publisher) to charges of slander, even if the statements were true. In one case, I discovered the person written about was a public figure (both were) and had moved to a new market and when the book  released went on a drinking binge costing him public humiliation and losing his job. Ouch. This book was written by a Christian. While much of that autobiography was instructive and helpful to me as a reader, there was a cringe factor in how it exposed her ex-husband. This is often why I’ve suggested to some that writing their story, heavily veiled, in fiction, might be safer.

Christian Limitations

The Christian market has more unique limitations that involve not including foul language, no disparaging remarks about God, no drinking or drug use portrayed positively and without consequences, no sex outside of marriage and definitely no sexual encounter described in detail on the page. Any evil act needs to be seen as such so there is no glorification of murder, abuse, theft, lying etc. This is what makes Christian fiction “clean” for the reader.

When I stared writing I wanted to have books that I wouldn’t be afraid of my children picking up. A creative writer can tell a great story without explicit sin. A great story shouldn’t need a detailed sex-scene because that only titillates the reader and could lead them into sin.

Christian publishing houses might have further restrictions on what they will or will not allow and the author needs to heed those limitations or he or she won’t be published.

Liability

It is difficult for writers to be insured to protect against liability. Most authors don’t carry insurance for this because we don’t make enough to cover the expense. That’s just the brutal truth. There are few companies that even offer this. We often want to share personal stories and write about hard truths but we need to be careful to not be so specific that we could be accused of slander. Even using the name of a company in our book, or a restaurant could be a problem. Many of us do put stuff in there, and as long as it is used in a positive light, it shouldn’t be an issue.

Off the Page

Even outside of the books themselves there are things writers are not to discuss. We are not to tell others about our contracts (at least not publicly on social media) or issues we might be having with a publisher or agent. Most of those things need to be dealt with privately. Now if there is a publisher doing horrible things than giving warning to others against that publisher/agent/editor/author might be necessary but not in a public way lest it be considered slander. For instance, if someone asks publicly about a particular publisher or editor, anyone who has a negative view would be better served to privately share that information.

Organizers of conferences will share amongst themselves if they come across unethical actions by publishers, agents, editors, or authors, as a way to protect the conferees. The attendees are not informed of those who have done wrong, at least not publicly. The only exception might be if someone were to do something that became public. Examples might be: inappropriate touching, sexual immorality, illegal activities, or something like that might become known and published in a local paper, or even a market publishing magazine. Once it is public then it is no longer private. Actions might also include the author losing his reputation, his books might be pulled by the publisher, and he or she will be persona-non-grata at conferences. Not that there couldn’t be restoration and forgiveness. God does forgive sin! We are to forgive. But oftentimes there needs to be repentance and possibly space for healing before that individual might be allowed to serve in any of those capacities again.

There have even been instances, in Christian publishing, where a well-known personality plagiarized an entire work of fiction by another lesser-known Christian author. How painful and wrong! I hope she was able to get justice as she probably didn’t have a ton of financial resources to fight for her rights.

This is no different than in the church itself. The Christian publishing community is small and we are still the body of Christ and maybe there isn’t a denomination ruling over most of us, there is a desire to honor God in all we do, on and off the pages of any book.

This really is a desire to heed Matthew 18: 15-17. “If your brother sins against you, go and rebuke him in private. If he listens to you, you have won your brother. But if he won’t listen, take one or two more with you, so that by the testimony of two or three witnesses every fact may be established. If he pays no attention to them, tell the church. But if he doesn’t pay attention even to the church, let him be like an unbeliever and a tax collector to you.” (HCSB)

Freedom In Christ

As Christians, we face limitations are found in our daily lives. Most are designed for our good! Not rules and regulations, although some might boil the Christian life to that. Rather as we seek to honor God with our gifts and the calling to write, we want to also honor the boundaries He provides. Those same boundaries are reflected in the books we write (or should be if we are to be called “Christian”). This isn’t done out of a need to earn approval but out of a personal relationship with Jesus. Out of the grace He has bestowed on us to be children of God, and in order to not grieve the Holy Spirit that indwells us as believers, we seek to write in a way that would bring glory and honor to HIM first, and hopefully uplift and entertain the reader with truths found in Scripture, whether explicitly stated or not.

True Freedom

As we celebrate our freedoms as a nation, there are still limits to freedom of speech, even outside of the Christian publishing industry. Yet we do have so many freedoms. We can disagree politically, or even have discussions about different theological ideologies we might not agree on. Hopefully all we do as those who follow Christ will also be tempered with the freedom we have to share the sweet truths of His word, because He is the ultimate hope and foundation that this nation was founded on.

 

 

Cooper Comments: Finnian’s Rescue (Book Review)

Nov17
Reading Time: 2 minutes

My mom has a lot of stuff happening this month including her third stand-alone romantic suspense: Finnian’s Rescue. This one take place in Wisconsin in the Holy Land.

Finnian is has returned from being held in captivity for a long time. Much like Rip van Winkle he discovers that the world has moved on and some of the changes are harder than others. His father died and his fiance up and married someone else.

When he meets Piper he’s intrigued. She understands the challenges he faces better than anyone else and while some consider him a traitor, she calls him a hero.

Piper likes the cute soldier but doesn’t feel to secure and doubts a man like him could really like her. When both their lives are in danger who else would they cling to?

There are so may twists and turns in this book you have to keep reading it to find out just why Finnian and Piper are under attack and how they will resolve it.

As a dog, I’m disappointed again that there is no dog in this book but since mom gives me treats I’ll give her grace on this. It is a fascinating read and I highly recommend it and give it five tennis balls because they are my favorite.

Untitled design – 1

Freed to Forgive (Book Review)

Oct23

Reading Time: 2 minutesfreed to forgiveJulie B. Cosgrove has written two fabulous romantic suspense novels with a plot involving human sex-trafficking. Freed to Forgive is the culmination of those two previous stories. The first was Hush in the Storm followed by Legitimate Lies. Marisol’s story is woven in small nuggets into the two previous books but due to the demands of her readers, Marisol’s journey is finally in print.

Marisol is a young woman being abused by her father and brothers in a small village in Mexico. Anger burns within her so when the opportunity to go to America is presented she believes the lies she’s told and leaves. The journey there is harrowing and she finds herself using the skills she learned in her village to try to save another young slave who is still a virgin. Eventually, however, she finds herself pregnant. She gives up her child hoping it can live a better life. In the process she escapes her captors and strives to live a life free of her shameful past.

Ten years pass and she learns over and over that men are not to be trusted. When Jesse shows interest she struggles to accept that he could truly want to know her and not just use her for her body. She struggles to keep her past hidden but her bitterness and resentment over all that has happened bubbles up to torment her  and keep her stuck. Can God really help her forgive those who abused and trafficked her? And can she really move forward in freedom and the love of a godly man?

This story is an emotionally fraught one filled with some disturbing scenes. Julie does nothing to hide the horrors of all that Marisol and so many others in our own country endure at the hands of modern-day slave-traders. In spite of that she is not gratuitous or unnecessarily explicit in those descriptions but it is good for the reader to be aware. All the instances are necessary for the plot of the book.

The reality of human trafficking in America deserves fiction like this to help us understand the horrors. We all need to step up to stop this tragedy as well as help those either caught in it or recovering from it. Either through prayer, or awareness or engaging further in the fight. I’m glad Julie Cosgrove has had the guts to tell Marisol’s gritty tale. The reality is we are all at times trapped and wounded by the sins of others and the lessons Marisol learns are for us all. God forgives and there is freedom in Christ.

When Joy Takes Over

Jun1

Reading Time: 4 minutesI’ve meBird in cagentioned on this blog before that I struggle with depression. I learned early on to put a good face on my inner darkness because I was told that to tell anyone I was depressed was manipulative and a lie.

Way to validate my reality, huh?

And I fought the first therapist who insisted this was my struggle. So I charted my emotions, and I was shocked at what I saw. I really was depressed.  Since then I’ve taken medications on and off over the years and have one that works well for me now. I tried the natural methods to no avail. I defeated Hashimoto’s Thyroiditis (an autoimmune disease of the thyroid for which depression is a side effect). Having been educated and worked in the mental health field I’m very aware of my symptomatology and the kinds of things I need to do to stop myself from sinking further into the pit of despair.

That’s why sometimes when joy breaks through it is a remarkable thing for me to take note of, to savor and to hold on to-because it’s rare.

Some of my circumstances do limit my expression of the good in my life because not everyone in my world appreciates all the aspects of who God created me to be. Not everyone supports or cheers me on in my writing and publishing pursuits. Because of this I’ve had to develop a more extended circle of support. So my cheerleaders are not physically close but they are there when I need them.

Flying Dog

But joy. It breaks through like a dog let off his leash, gate open and free to run in wide open spaces, ears flapping and tail wagging. Unhindered by expectations. Free to be fully who he is.

The filters come off, the darkness slips away and bright light shines from inside as I let loose to live more fully who God created me to be. That’s a high energy thing though and can’t be sustained for long. It happens in places were my gifts and calling are validated and my wacky weird personality is appreciated and not condemned.

A place where I can set aside any thoughts of how overweight I am or be self-conscious about my appearance.

It’s a place where people around me appreciate and love me for being – me. Imperfections and all.

That sometimes happens at church and I’m blessed to have people there who love me like that. But there are still some barriers because there have been those who have condemned me for my high spirits and effusive personality when it’s been expressed. Not everyone likes the bubbly, silly, sassy, “high-spirited” side of Susan.  Or maybe it threatens them. Joy at fully living one’s purpose can make others jealous.

Dee Dee and Lori laughingA few weeks ago I had several moments of uninhibited joy. I was in the beautiful Rocky Mountains at a YMCA at Estes Park for the Colorado Christian Writer’s Conference where I served as faculty. I enjoyed my entire time there. It was work. I taught classes which I enjoy and encouraged writers. I willingly poured out love and encouragement to others and was glad to be able to do so.

Dee Dee and I met last year and a friendship was born. The picture above is of Dee Dee and another new friend, Lori at dinner in town. I love the expression on their faces and only wish I could have caught Megan in there too as she sat next to me. A dinner filled with deep conversation, belly laughs and love.

A writer’s conference is about writing, but more than that, it is about relationships and that night at that restaurant is a treasured memory of joy. It was later that Dee Dee and I sat and talked in the lobby and our relationship grew deeper. Dee Dee hasn’t led a perfectly wonderful life and has suffered her own share of struggles too. But together we laughed and cried and out of that is born joy.

Why? Because Dee Dee accepts and loves me just as I am. Wild, silly, weird, authentic, wounded and seeking to follow God imperfectly in my own circumstances. And I love her that way too. There will be many wonderful reasons to return to Colorado – but Dee Dee would top the list. And I’m grateful that with computers and phones the distance doesn’t have to be a barrier to our friendship.

Today as I write this, it’s raining and gloomy. Even as I type, tears roll down my cheeks, not out of sadness, but gratitude for those brief moments when the sun shines through the cloud and God has given me the opportunity to live more fully as “me”and be loved and accepted for that.

Praying you find safe places for joy to break through too.

Casey Anthony

Jul17

Reading Time: 3 minutesI did not watch the trial for Casey Anthony. I don’t have TV and don’t like getting sucked into all the drama surrounding legal cases like this. Even with all that – I still heard bits and pieces and knew the exact moment when the verdict had been handed down by the jury.

What has surprised me (although it shouldn’t, I’ve been around long enough) is the amount of vitriol that has been spewed forth on social networking. Casey Anthony has become the poster child for “evil personified.”  Even jurors, who have sacrificially given of their time to serve for this case, have received death threats. They showed up and they did their jobs. They did not say Casey Anthony was innocent. They came to the conclusion that there was not enough evidence to commit her to a death sentence. Justice did its job, even if we disagree with the outcome.

Casey Anthony has to face a higher judge. She will face, someday, the One from whom no one can hide truth. She will have to watch all that happened and it will be evident where true guilt lies and what her crimes really are.  I cannot judge what I do not know or have incontrovertible evidence of. Neither can you. The  case has left many with unanswered questions although some would like to assume they already know the answers. The fact is – only God and Casey REALLY know what happened to Caylee.

It is interesting that in a society that regularly kills babies before they are born, would get so worked up over the death of one child. Accidental or murder, she is gone and safe from further harm. I trust that God has her in His tender care and she does not suffer. Maybe she was saved from something far worse than eternity in His presence? We will never know. She is gone, she is safe.  Our anger and rage should be against the crimes that are perpetrated every hour of every day to kill babies in this country, for the sake of convenience and a woman’s rights. If a woman has a right to kill a child at 8 months gestation, then why is a two-year old different?   I am pro-life. I believe life is sacred from conception to the grave. But the inconsistency in our culture floors me.  All this anger directed at one woman and a jury – when we have a  President, a Supreme Court and doctors around this nation who support killing children?  Doesn’t  the cognitive dissonance of that irritate you?

So, in many ways, I feel sorry for Casey Anthony. At twenty-five years of age, she is an attractive young woman who has been found tried by a fickle society and has lost any chance of a “normal” life in this world because of the notoriety of this case and the high emotions that have been stoked by the media. While freedom from a death penalty, and getting out jail is certainly a bonus for her – what does  she have the freedom to do? She can’t get a job at Wal-mart. Where could she work to support herself and pay all her legal costs? She could write a book, true, but she will still lack the freedom to go to McDonald’s  or Starbucks to enjoy time with a friend. Have any friends even stood by her through this? She has lost closeness with her parents. Who will support her other than her attorneys who get paid to help?

Casey is one of many people in this world who walk around wearing “GUILTY” stamped across their chests. And yet – before God we are ALL guilty of sin, aren’t we? Without repentance and the saving work of Jesus Christ on the cross, and His resurrection, what hope do any of us have of freedom and joy and “life?”

As a Christian, my heart goes out to Casey. God has placed her on my heart and I pray for her:  For her heart, for His plan for her future, and that she will be open to what He may choose to do in and through her life if she chooses to accept his “get out of jail free” card. Without God’s mercy on any of our souls,  we all are under a death penalty with the ultimate destination being hell. No matter what the crime, Casey Anthony was created in the image of God. Whether she acknowledges Him or not, He loves her and desires a relationship with her.  She needs our prayers, not our condemnation.  May God have mercy on our souls for presuming we can do God’s job for Him now that human justice has been meted out. May God have mercy on Casey Anthony’s soul as she steps into her uncertain future. May God have mercy on our nation for our inconsistent views on the value of human life.