Author Confessions: Great Connections

When we moved and started attending a new church, it initially felt overwhelming. Our church is welcoming so we enjoyed attending but developing relationships takes more effort. I don’t want just people who know me, I want great connections.

Have worked at other churches over the years I’m aware that a church can provide all kinds of opportunities for people to connect but a newcomer has to make an effort as well. This church makes it easier.

When I walked into a huge room full of women at my first time to a study at our new church, one of the leaders suggested I look for someone who had the same color nametag as mine and introduce myself. Simple suggestion but even smart people don’t always think of something that easy. (wait? Did I just call myself smart? oops!). I did what was suggested and sat next to a woman who was also new and had prayed asking God to bring her one friend. Every week after study we would stand around and talk for an hour more about all kinds of things!

God answered her prayer, the one I didn’t even think to pray for. Both of us are new to the area and the church. We have very different backgrounds but we share the same faith in Jesus and have some similar struggles. She’s been a wealth of helpful hints as I’ve navigated this season of my life as well. What a blessing!

She wasn’t the only one. It took time in a group setting to make connections, but it has happened and some of that I have left in the hands of others to decide if they want to go further.

Waiting for a great connection is valuable but hard. I’ve gone through periods of loneliness even though I have a ton to do and a wonderful husband. I prefer the deeper one-on-one connections to a larger group setting. I’ve learned a lot in a small group, but it’s not as deep as just one or three people.

I had a friend tell me years ago, “I want to go DEEP!” While she was meaning she wanted to learn more about Jesus, she is also someone who goes deep relationally. Distance keeps us apart more than I’d prefer, but I agree. I want to go deep.

We all long for connection of some sort, but the deep ones take time, effort, and vulnerability. Time is also spent learning if that individual is safe. The deeper we go, the harder it is when someone breaks our trust or shows themself to be unsafe. It can be devastating.

Walking through chronic issues with someone, whether relational, physical, or emotional, can also be challenging. Yet someone struggling that way needs someone to care, listen, and sometimes give of themselves without expecting much in return. We need others to be there for us when we are giving to someone like that.

What’s your secret to making great connections with people you’ve not met before or when in a new area or church? I’d love to hear them.