Author Confessions: Do You Want to Get Well? (Secondary Gains)

I was reading John 5 and came across this story of Jesus and it led me to write this post. First, the full story:

After this, a Jewish festival took place, and Jesus went up to Jerusalem. By the Sheep Gate in Jerusalem there is a pool, called Bethesda in Hebrew, which has five colonnades. Within these lay a large number of the sick—blind, lame, and paralyzed [—waiting for the moving of the water,  because an angel would go down into the pool from time to time and stir up the water. Then the first one who got in after the water was stirred up recovered from whatever ailment he had].

One man was there who had been sick for 38 years. When Jesus saw him lying there and knew he had already been there a long time, He said to him, “Do you want to get well?”

“Sir,” the sick man answered, “I don’t have a man to put me into the pool when the water is stirred up, but while I’m coming, someone goes down ahead of me.”

“Get up,” Jesus told him, “pick up your mat and walk!” Instantly the man got well, picked up his mat, and started to walk.

I was struck by the question Jesus asked, “Do you want to get well?” It would seem to be a ridiculous question, after all, who wouldn’t want to get well?

I’ve ministered with people with chronic health issues, including mental health issues. Chronic issues, like the man in this story, are sometimes visible, and many times invisible.

Who wouldn’t want to get well if they were sick in any way? Especially if one is suffering horrible deficits in the ability to function?

Sometimes the disability is more rewarding than being physically or emotionally whole. It may not even be a physical situation. We have an entire subgroup in our culture that revels in being victims of anything they can think of. Yes, adulting is hard, I get that. But when a person persists in the behavior that perpetuates the position of victim, then they are doing that due to secondary gains such as attention and being absolved of responsibilty.

Now, I am not stating there are not real victims in this world. There are and they should be cared for and assisted to climb out of whatever pit they are in, so they can deal with the reality before them. We rescue victims from a car crash and render aid, but sometimes the physical consequences can go on beyond that, with pain or subsequent surgeries. The individual has a choice in their attitude: be helpless and whiny or move forward, even in spite of the pain, to live the best life they can within their limitations.

Someone who is paralyzed doesn’t need to stay helpless. Consider Joni Tada. She went through a phase of depression and helplessness after she was paralyzed,  but eventually through the power of Christ and a supportive family, she emerged from that to live a powerful life that impacts disabled people around the world. She has written countless books, sung, and painted. She has endured pain issues and cancer along with the need to be dependent on her husband and other caregivers. In spite that, and a desire to be healed, she has made the most of her physical limitations and praises God in spite of it.

If Jesus came to her and asked, “Do you want to get well?” She would answer, “Yes, LORD!” Her complete healing will most likely not come till she is with Him in Paradise.

There are people who are resistant to getting well. They get something out it. That is called secondary gains.

What would someone get that they would want to cling to? Attention from others, sympathy, maybe care, or financial support. Perhaps they like the exuses not to work or participate in the activities others engage in. There is a sickness in wallowing in that pain that in a twisted way makes them feel special.

I’ve been a victim in the past. I’ve struggled to move past abuse that left me feeling helpless to change. I finally realized that I couldn’t do anything to change that situation but I could change how I reacted to it. I could move from the “poor me” and the sympathy I received into a freedom and dependance on God that helped transform me so that when God was ready to “heal” my circumstances, I was able to move into that  freedom.

Look at someone like Johnny “Joey” Jones who lost both his legs while serving our country. From what little I can gather, he is in constant pain. Yet, when I see him on FOX, he tackles his disablity with humor and grace. He wrote a book celebrating others who have overcome: Unbroken Bonds of Battle: A Modern Warriors Book of Heroism, Patriotism, and Friendship. Or Benjamin Hall who was injured and lost his legs as well, who has gone on to write two books, Saved and  Resolute. I haven’t read any of these yet but would like to at some point. Benjamin  was told he would be in the hospital for two years recovering but was home in six months. Both he and Jones have suffered horrible physical and psychological trauma, yet have had the courage to move past it instead of staying “sick”. That took a lot of courage, pain, and perseverance as well as leaving behind the care and support they received while in the worst of their suffering.

Do you want to get well?

When I struggled with Hashimoto’s disease, it took years before I got accurately diagnosed. I was told it was no wonder I was overweight. Nothing I could do would change that until I go my thyroid under control. The problem is, even once the thyroid is functioning properly doesn’t mean that the weight melts off. It was a long process of detoxing heavy metals and undergoing other natural treatments that finally led me to be in remission. Now, if I’m tired, I can’t blame my thyroid. I’ve struggled to lose weight and I’ve tried a lot of various ways and have made some progress over the years. I’m more comfortable in my skin now and am more attuned to my body. I could have stayed heavy and and a victim of an autoimmune disease that modern medicine says can’t be cured. I’m not where I would like to be but I’m slowly getting there. I could have spent the rest of my life fat and tired based on what modern medicine could tell me, and be on pills for that for the rest of my life.

I am aware of some people who cannot even admit they are sick, psychologically speaking. Yet, sometimes it is the emotional stuff that holds us back more than the physical. Depression can lead to self-medication and isolation which only fuels the depression. It takes courage and vulnerability to face what is underlying that, perhaps thyroid, or a genetic predisposition, negative messaging, or even trauma. The easy but miserable thing to do is nothing but remain a victim to the dark moods that accompany that and maybe get some sympathy, pity, and help with maintaining life. I’m not minimzing the power of depression, but it can be brutally painful to face the demons that plague us while sitting across from a safe person to work through the underlying thoughts and actions that are perpetuating it. And maybe even chosing to take medication to help.

Do you want to get well? 

What Jesus gave the man at the pool an action to take. “Get up,” Jesus told him, “pick up your mat and walk!” 

The man could have whined and cried about how he could not walk. But he took action. Jesus didn’t pull him to his feet. Jesus wanted to see if the man had faith to obey. And the man did. I can’t imagine how odd that must have felt to have the energy to move himself, rise to his feet and then bend over to pick up his mat and walk away. We don’t know what kind of illness he had but he couldn’t even get to the pool by himself. The new reality was now he was healed which meant he would need to take responsiblity for every aspect of his life, which after 38 years would have been a shock. He would need to work and not be dependant on others to do everything for him.

Sometimes blaming everyone else for your misfortune (and getting sympathy) is a secondary gain because you avoid having to look at your own behaviors and change the way you live and perhaps repent of bad choices.

Pursuing health, whether it is financial, physical, emotional, spiritual… sometimes means leaving the familiar behind and reaching forward into the unknown. Healing isn’t always a straight path up out of the pit (My novel Pesto and Potholes considers that). Ditching old behaviors and learning new ones is not always easy and sometimes it is painful. Striving forward and pursuing something better, can take time and be discouraging but is worth doing in the long run.

Do you want to get well? 

Would you give up all the excuses and be willing to embrace a fuller life? If Jesus asked you the question what would you say? “Yes, but…” That’s what the man in the story did. If God shows you where you need to work to make a change, would you obey, get up, pick up your mat, and do it?

One last quick funny story. Probably 30 years ago now, I hurt my left knee when I missed a step going downstairs while carring an object weighing about 50 lbs. I was supposed to sing at church that Sunday but could barely walk or drive. I told the production team I would need to sing from the floor as I couldn’t manage the stairs. Saturday night I got a call from my friend Jeff, who said, “This is weird, but I believe God is telling me to come and pray for your knee to be healed.” I told him he could come over but I secretly doubted anything would change. He brought his daughter and prayed for my knee. He left, I went to bed. The next morning I woke up and my knee was healed, although my calf was in pain from the strain of that injury. When I saw him at church I told him next time I’d have him pray for the whole leg, not just the knee!

The reality is, I believed in God. Jeff obeyed what seemed like a ridiculous leading from the Holy Spirit. I wasn’t about to say no because, of course, I wanted to be well! It was obedience, more than faith that it would really happen, that God wanted from both of us. That Sunday I was able to climb the steps to the stage to sing.

If I had said no I would have been in pain, sang from the floor, but received a lot of attention, and concern for my pain. Instead, I was able to resume life normally, and give God the glory for what He had done. All these years later I’ve never had an experience like that. But if someone says healing is not a gift God uses in this day, my experience says otherwise. Healing may not be an “all the time” gift but one that God reserves for the moments He chooses.

Do you want to get well? Where are you struggling and perhaps getting attention for? Have you allowed yourself to remain a victim? This is not easy stuff and might require you to use new muscles to move toward healing and it might even hurt along the way. When we walk with God and He leads us, it is well worth the journey to ditch the secondary gains we get from being sick or stuck, and truly be  as well as we can be while living on this earth.