Tag Archive | pride

Author Confessions: The Dangerous Moral High Ground

Feb24
Reading Time: 5 minutes

Author Confessions: The Dangerous Moral High Ground

My husband and I have been slowly watching Midsummer Murders and it has become a competition to guess correctly just “who did it.” At the end of Season 15, Episode 1 “The Dagger Club,” I was struck by a line uttered toward the end when the character Audrey Braylesford, played by Una Stubbs, justifies a decision because, “The view is better from the moral high ground.” That might not be an exact quote but it’s close.

At first I thought, “Wow, how generous for her not take what was rightfully hers, even if it was won by nefarious means.” The more I mull it over I think many of us struggle because we want to be on the moral high ground. It sounds like a great position to be in, doesn’t it?

We see this in politics especially, not just the politicians but those who support them. Each side thinks they are morally superior for taking the stance they do. Sometimes those positions are against the other side based on faulty facts or misguided perceived virtues. They would look at my position from the same angle, I’m sure.

I’m not going to go into any of that specifically because I do not want to start a war here. While I have some firmly head beliefs, I can understand why someone would hold an opposing view given that they may not have the same starting point or value system. That’s understandable. It also means that I need to own that I could be wrong and need to be open to looking at a subject from all angles.

Claiming the moral high ground is dangerous because it elevates us above others. It gives us importance. It is a superiority stance that happens not only in politics, but in divorces, church splits, and in the dissolving of friendships. It can be used as a weapon to get others to obey and agree with a plan of action or position.

The moral high ground, while it seems benign, is quite dangerous. Personally I don’t like heights. Not heights particularly, but the fall from them scares me, and that should be the case here as well. The moral high ground sets someone up for a fall. Why?

Underlying the moral high ground is pride. The snake in the garden weilded the moral high ground over Adam and Eve, tricking them into disobeying God’s one boundary on paradise: Not to eat from the fruit of the Tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil. The end result was rampant sin that impacted all of creation as well as the first death among many.

There is danger in the moral high ground because it sounds so good, but it can be filled with subtle lies that deceive. Once exposed, it can lead to devestation. A fall.

The dangerous moral high ground has no positive attributes. It might feel satisfying to claim that hill. Dying on it might not be quite what one expects.

What is the alternative? A posture of humility. I may seek to live a moral life but I recognize that I myself am often a hypocrite, even if only in my thoughts. I might say or even realize that one course of action or piece of knowledge is beneficial and then do the opposite.

Pride can lead to hedonism. Making one’s own happiness and success an idol to pursue. It is worship of self in many cases. Taking the moral high ground is putting one’s needs above everyone else’s. The moral high ground can be used as a weapon, even subtly.

This is opposite of a relationship with Jesus. He met the woman at the well, and didn’t condemn her. He could have taken the moral high ground. He is after all King of kings and LORD of lords. He didn’t. He chose compassion and went to the heart of her deepest need. He didn’t give her any advice she didn’t ask for and never addressed her sin other than stating that He knew the details, but again without condemnation. At least I assume that to be true since she eagerly told everyone about Him. Obviously, tone of voice is not discernable in the Bible. Same was true with the adulterous woman brought to be stoned. In John 8:7, Jesus tells all these men, “The one without sin among you should be the first to throw a stone at her.” He could have asked where the man was whom she was in bed with. According to the law both were to be stoned. He didn’t. The men disappeared. Jesus asked her if anyone had condemned her. No one. “Neither do I condemn you,” said Jesus. “Go, and from now on do not sin anymore.” Compassion instead of condemnation. Quite the revelation, isn’t it? 

Where do you cling to the moral high ground? I think the reason that line in a television show struck me is because it was unexpected from that character. A well-written line is also something I admire as an author. However, I’m kind of glad it stuck with me so I could take a closer look at it.

The moral high ground would be the equivalent of the “high places” mentioned over 60 times in the Old Testament of the Bible. It is an idol and detracts from worshipping God. My faith is not a strict line of rules and regulations as it was in the Old Testament. It is a relationship. My decisions and choices should be the result not of how great I am but how much I desperately need Jesus. Clinging to the moral high ground must grieve the Holy Spirit since we as humans can make our positions more important than our relationships, especially the one we have with Jesus.

I can still have my convictions but I need to recognize that some of them are preferences.

The question is this. Is it a salvation issue? If not then it doesn’t matter what clothing you wear to church, or how long or short your hair is for a man or woman, or what style of worship music you listen to. It is amazing how we can cling to minor issues and make them bigger than they really are. We are to look beyond the outward appearance just as Samuel did when choosing, at God’s leading, David to be the king of Israel. Or Jesus at the well with the Samaritan woman. Her past sins did not define her value as someone who Jesus loved and cared about because she was made in the image of God.

The ground is level at the foot of the cross. Jesus died on a hill but everyone standing under that cross was on level ground as we are all sinful from birth. His truly perfect moral high ground came a deadly cost to save us from our sins. Everyone around us is there figuratively at the foot of that cross and if we are too high up our own moral hill, we cannot lead them there as our fellow human beings. It is fine to have a firmly held conviction, especially if that’s what God leads you to, and it doesn’t violate Scripture. It is not good to expect everyone to agree with it.

What do you think about the moral high ground? Has any of this struck a cord? I suspect it is something we all struggle with at some level and need to repent of. I pray God can keep us from the dangerous moral high ground and focus instead on Jesus so that His Holy Spirit can freely lead and guide us on the unique path He has for each of us.

 

 

Author Confessions: The Dangerous Emotion of Inadequacy (aka Imposter Syndrome)

Jan13
Reading Time: 4 minutes

Author Confessions: The Dangerous Emotion of Inadequacy (aka Imposter Syndrome)

I hadn’t heard of this until relatively recently. Imposter Syndrome is in reality feeling inadequate but it applies more to professional work. It is where someone feels like a fraud. Not good enough. Not worthy. Inadequate.

We’ve all experienced feelings of inadequacy at some point or another. Starting a new job, or perhaps that first job right out of college or in an internship. I felt totally inadequate to work as a therapist. I never got licensed so I never called myself a psychotherapist although I have counseled people and had the training. Maybe Imposter Syndrome kept me from pursuing that further? When I did counseling in my job it was while I was under supervision and getting my hours so I didn’t need the “title” or license to do the job. When I did it in women’s ministry, I definitely felt inadequate given the state of my private life.

When I served in leadership at my church and taught classes I experienced inadequacy for the same reason but since I was honest about my inadquacies and was encouraged to do the work, I soon lost that sense of being an imposter.

When  I first taught classes at writer’s conferences I was barely published myself so I was learning a lot as I prepared to teach. I learned and then was qualified to share that with others and since I was being paid I didn’t feel too inadequate.

Sometimes inadequacy is a minimalization of the gifts God has given and perhaps if there is a pendulum swing between that and prideful arrogance, then I think inadequacy is the lesser of the dangerous emotions and I probably will address that at some point.

If we are trusting God and following Him we are assured He will equip us for every task, even if we don’t feel adequate to handle it.  The apostle Paul experienced this. In 1 Corinthians 15:9-10 says: For I am the least of the apostles,  who am not fit to be called and apostle, because I persecuted the church of God. But by  the grace of God I am what I am, and His grace toward me did not prove vain…”

Inadequacy can resolve to humility when we recognize that we are never perfect enough for the work God has called us to. Whether it is writing, preaching, counseling, teaching, parenting, running a business or any other job or task. When we lean on Him and are honest about what we don’t know, or that we are not an expert, we can avoid feeling like an imposter. If God calls us, then to stay mired in an emotion of inadequacy is denying the power of the Holy Spirit to use us as He sees fit.

Now that doesn’t mean there are not imposters out there. There are. I struggle to trust those who claim expertise in any area since that tends to exclude a teachable spirit which is essential to our lives. Not that I want to be corrected, that is never fun, but if I want to be good at anything God leads me to, then I should be open to correction and growing in that area. God doesn’t call us to a task and then expect us to not actually work at that task. He won’t do it for us but He will help us and equip us as we go.

This is why someone who has just come to Christ can zealously share the gospel without even having read the entire Bible much less attended seminary. He has enough for the task ahead. Even aspiring writers can encourage other writers with things they have learned.

I’ve taught on leadership but don’t claim to be a great leader or know everything about the subject. I’ve taught theology classes but don’t know everything there is to know about God and the study of God. I’ve taught on writing and editing but I still have so much to learn and have not mastered everything. In everything I’ve always admitted up front that I am fallible. I don’t know it all, but hopefully I know enough to help someone else on the path to learning about the subject. Now that doesn’t mean I won’t teach what I know with authority and confidence but doing that I don’t experience emotions of anxiety and inadequacy, nor pride. I can do the job God gave me to do.

A few years back I struggled with whether I would write again after a brutal tangle with an editor. That book finally released and I love it but hate to pick it up to read it because of the trauma of that interaction and the battles that ensued to that particular book published. The dangerous emotion of inadquacy almost had me quitting it all. I persevered, got the book published and have gone on to write others since then. I will admit there is a greater fear of failure now than there had been previously.

Have you ever experienced inadequacy or imposter syndrome? How have you dealt with that?

 

Author Confessions: Pride vs Humility

Jan22
Reading Time: 3 minutes

I’ve been working at book marketing. I hired a virtual assistant company a few months ago and learned a lot from the two wonderful people I worked with. I still have some help but due to trying to be fiscally responsible, I have taken on more of the work with all I’ve learned. I’m incredibly indebted to Tyler and Bonnie. I’ve learned so much but more than that I made some friends who also love the Lord. We pray for and encourage each other as well as deal with the tasks. What a blessing on so many levels.

Most authors hate marketing. At least I do. I don’t like promoting ME. It’s a tough world with so many voices everywhere but I need to help people find my books. The best advertising is word-of-mouth but nowdays so many people only read things on their phone. And with all the information coming at all of use all the time when we go online, who has time to think, “Yeah, I’ll give that author a try.” We’d rather spend $5 – $7 on a new drink at Starbucks than spend the money on an ebook, or perhaps a paperback – which might equal the cost two or three drinks but will take much longer for you to enjoy and can be read over and over or shared. And it’s calorie free. Much like caffiene, a good book can keep you up at night as well.

As I sit at my cluttered desk trying to get marketing stuff organized to feel like I’m on top of it all, I was going over some reviews for some of my first few books. I’ve not looked at reviews much in the past few years because I don’t want to think “I’m all that and a bag of chips,” or to be hurt or disappointed that a reader didn’t perhaps “get” the book or appreciate the effort that was put into it. It takes a lot of effort by many people including me, to publish a book.

I found myself working on sorting through this information and weeping. I did this very task last week with some other books, but for some reason, today, tears started to fall.

I don’t believe that Susan M. Baganz is the greatest author ever. Shocker, right? There are so many other better authors out there and I’m still learning with every book I write.

Early on in my writing I had someone criticize me for promoting my writing on Facebook. However, it’s what I am required to do by my publisher. That individual said I was being prideful. Ouch. There was a lot of other painful words in that verbally abusive conversation that I can shove aside, but that one criticism haunts me.

Sure, I love the stories I write. But here’s the weird thing, at least for me. If there is anything good that shows up on the page that impacts someone, that’s all God. I’m a fallible vessel. If there is any failure, that’s all on me.  I write and pray and it is an act  of worship but I’m not perfect by any means. So when I read reviews and a reader tells me how much they loved the story or how it ministered to them in a particular way, I’m humbled that God allowed me to write those words. What an honor to be used by Him doing something that is hard work with little reward–but hopefully has an eternal impact.

Yes, I write fiction, but even Jesus told stories to get a point a cross. There’s a field of psychology that uses metaphor to help get beneath the defenses of people. That’s the power of story. If God wills it, the words that I labored over will reach someone where they need it most and for every reader it might be a completely different reaction.

So today, I’m humbled and honored. To those of you who read my books and write reviews, thank you from the bottom of my heart for taking the time to share your thoughts with me and the world. I hope and pray God will use all my efforts–at writing, editing, and marketing–to expand the reach of those words He so graciously gave.

If per chance you have read and enjoyed one of my novels or novellas, and haven’t written a review, would you please do so? It really helps readers to find the books. And tell someone about a book you enjoyed. Mine or someone else’s. Writer’s rarely make much money, but knowing our work is appreciated and shared goes a long way, maybe not to paying the bills, but at least in letting us know the work we do matters.

 

 

 

Spatzle Speaks: Everything About You (Book Review)

Mar25
Reading Time: 2 minutes

EverythingAboutYou smallLisa Lickel tells wonderful stories and Everything About You is no exception. As part of the “Love is . . .” series by Prism Book Group this story illustrates the scripture “love is not proud.”

Shelly needs a movie set miracle but when the original star is unavailable and the clock is ticking, can the rough-edged farmer be transformed into a movie star in five days? Good looks only go so far. Can he master the accent needed? Who knew Wisconsin could be so back-woods?

Danny just needs the cash to expand his farm. He’s eager to please the spunky gal who’s pushing him right and left till he barely knows which way is up.

When Shelly’s old flame who had betrayed her horribly shows up on set everything is about to combust. Shelly has to abandon her own pride and depend on Danny. Will she lose her job? She’s already on her way to losing her heart. I like Danny. But I’m a dog  from Wisconsin so he’s my home-boy since I come from the western side of the state where this tale is set.

Daily vlogs give insight into the character’s thoughts and feelings and while it’s a whirlwind romance the reader comes to feel strongly for Danny and Shelly with their individual struggles. Maybe a down-home country boy from Wisconsin can be the key to a movie maker’s heart. The ending is sweet and worth the read. I love Lisa’s creativity in creating the story.

Pride, trust, humility and accepting people for who they are sharply contrast against one another in this sweet romance novella. I give it five bones. I’m a dog. I don’t do stars.

Spatzle Baganz, book reviewer for the silygoos blog because that's how we roll.

Spatzle Baganz, book reviewer for the silygoos blog because that’s how we roll.

 

 

5 bones for blog