After years of verbal abuse, I finally realized I had lapsed into helplessness and hopelessness. A friend once said to me, “Susan, you need hope.” I loved and served and prayed to Jesus and believed He was fully capable of rescuing me from my prison of pain.
During this time, I lead our church’s women’s ministry, and spent time encouraging other women and teaching them.
But I was stuck. I began to realize I was thinking and acting like a victim. A powerless victim. The more I read and understood about verbal abuse (which includes financial abuse and neglect and more), the more I began to seek the help I needed to grow and thrive even in the midst of my difficulty. Oh, I still cried, but I grew in my confidence and my ability to find the good in the midst of the pain.
I still struggled for hope that I would ever one day be released. The wonderful news is by the time I was, I was ready for the new life God had in store for me. The fears from the past had melted away. The belief that I was inadequate and unable to stand on my own, was gone. When God opened that door, freeing me, I was ready to walk into my new life without fear. He provided for me every step along the way and looking back I can only say it was by His grace that I made it, because on paper, I should never have been able to.
By God’s grace, I became a hero, a protagonist in my own story, not a pathetic byline. Now ultimately Jesus is the real hero. It was He who saved me at 15 years of age and has walked me through all of this. What a wonder that He could give me hope – in HIM and blessings beyond what I could have ever wished for.
In what ways do you perhaps feel a victim in your life? Look to Jesus for your hope. Change doesn’t take place overnight but He can move you and use you for HIS glory in the midst of your pain and in the future use that experience to bless others. Hold on, dear friend.
I’d love you to welcome author Lindsey Bell to Writer Wednesday! I really do enjoy hearing how unique each author’s journey is. Be blessed.
When did you decide you would be an author? Was it something you fell into, felt called to…?
I have loved writing for as long as I can remember, but I didn’t actually take it seriously until a college professor urged me to send in an article I had written. That article was accepted for publication, and that’s when I thought, “Maybe I’m not too bad at this!” That first article gave me the courage to send in another. And then another. And then another. And that eventually led me to write books as well.
One quote that stuck with me that I read years ago was from Kaci Calvaresi. She said, “God can’t use a redemptive story that you’re not willing to tell.” THAT, for me, is why I write…so that God can use my story to help others.
What’s your pet peeve?
I think my pet peeve -which is completely unrelated to writing – is when people don’t do what they say they are going to do.
What was your most embarrassing moment as a writer?
My most embarrassing moment as a writer..that’s a tough one. I’m a people-pleaser and I don’t like conflict, so I think my most embarrassing moment as a writer was when I wrote something that faced criticism. It was difficult to NOT take it personally.
What has been your most difficult challenge as an author?
There are two aspects of being an author that are especially challenging for me: facing criticism and building an audience. I’ve always struggled with self-promotion, especially as a Christian author. It’s challenging to find that sweet spot between sharing God’s story and sharing your own…shining the light on Him versus shining the light on yourself.
How do you process rejections and/or negative reviews?
Not well, lol 🙂 In my head, I know it’s not personal, but in my heart, that is sometimes hard to accept. The best thing I can tell myself is that this particular person was not my target audience. My message must be meant for someone else. It’s also important to learn from the negative reviews that offer helpful feedback. I have a sticky note on my computer that reads, “Mistakes are evidence that you tried.” This note helps remind me that failure (or negative reviews, in this case) can also be helpful, and, if nothing else, they show that I tried…that I put myself out there…that I gave it my best effort.
What do you feel is the best success so far in your writing career?
My books for sure, especially Unbeaten. That is my heart on the page…God’s story in my life.
What is your current work in process?
I’m at the very beginning brainstorming process of my next book, so I’m actually not sure.
Bio:
Lindsey Bell is the author of Unbeaten and Searching for Sanity. She’s passionate about her two silly boys, her husband Keith, books of all kinds, and delicious dark chocolate. Her desire is to inspire and encourage other believers through honest dialogue about faith, family, and learning to love the life she’s been given. As a woman who has lost four babies to miscarriage, Lindsey loves helping others find God in the midst of heartache. Find Lindsey online at www.lindseymbell.com.
The path to publishing isn’t always a smooth ride. Today Root Beer & Roadblocks finally released in ebook form. A new publisher has meant a learning curve for author and editors alike. (The print version should be available in another week).
This is not the first time I’ve had a book delayed and to be honest- the delay (or roadblock!) was at my request. I wanted extra eyes on the manuscript but that takes time. I’m grateful my publisher didn’t rush to get the book out on deadline only to find it filled with some mistakes.
Funny thing is – even with me going over this with a fine-tooth comb many times, as well as my editor, copyeditor, three proofreaders, and my publisher, none of us found the same things wrong. We all saw things differently. So there is a chance that you could pick up this book and find something wrong as well that all of us missed in spite of the multiple times it’s been evaluated.
But that’s the point, isn’t it? We’re human. Flawed. Even with software programs that can help find errors the human factor can still influence things. My hope is that if you choose to read Johnny’s story, you’ll get so caught up in the journey he takes that anything that crosses your path, will be immediately forgotten as you read on. I wanted to give you a sneak peek into the first pages of the book.
February 2014
Johnny jogged to his car and grabbed his Bible. Fatigue weighed him down as he locked the sedan, the book tucked under his arm. Heading back toward the church, a movement caught his attention. A little boy from his Sunday school classroom escaped his mother’s grasp and bolted his way, blind to a car backing out of its spot.
“David, stop!” Johnny bolted and managed to get behind the moving vehicle to shove the child out of the way. The rear bumper struck his own leg and knocked him to the ground.
The car’s wheels stopped just short of running him over. Thank you, Lord, for big tank cars with huge trunks. The child cried, and a woman picked up the boy. “It’s OK, David, you’ve only scraped your palms. This nice man saved you. How many times must I tell you not to run in parking lots? You are too small for cars to see you.” She hugged the little boy tight.
Johnny dragged his legs out from under the car and struggled to his feet, bracing himself against the trunk to catch his breath. The elderly woman, who had been behind the wheel, toddled around to him. “Are you OK? I’m sorry. I didn’t see him. You moved so fast.”
Johnny nodded. “No one would have seen him. It was an accident.” He patted her on the shoulder before he limped across the parking lot. Pain seared through his hip and leg with every step he took. Reaching the curb, he sank down to the cement, thankful it was clear of snow.
His cousin Niko ran out of the church and knelt by his side. “Johnny, what happened?”
“He rescued my son from getting run over by a car that was backing out. He took the hit.” A woman wearing a stocking cap and winter coat came up behind Niko with the weepy boy in her arms rubbing his eyes.
Johnny shrugged. “What she said.”
“You OK? Do we need to call an ambulance?‛ Niko’s gaze bore into him. The greaterunspoken question loomed.
Teeth gritted in pain, Johnny returned his cousin’s stare. “I want to sit through worship. You’re on stage in a few minutes. Help me inside. I have an appointment with my doctor tomorrow. It can wait until then.” He motioned for Niko to help him rise, and he did. The older woman came up to him and handed him a piece of paper.
“Here is my name, phone, and insurance information. Do you want to call the police and file a report? I wouldn’t blame you if you did.” Her arthritic, wrinkled hands were clenched tightly together as if in petition for mercy.
“I doubt that’s necessary. Thank you, May.” He took the paper and shoved it in his shirt pocket. David’s mom passed him his Bible, which he’d dropped. The leather was brushed clean.
“Are you sure you’re OK? I’m a nurse. I could take a look.” Her face instantly turned three shades of red as she realized her inspection would involve him taking off his jeans.
Johnny smiled and leaned forward. “In my younger days, that would have been an offer too good to pass up, but I visit my doctor tomorrow. It’ll wait.”
Here’s a video – instrumental of Burlap to Cashmere’s song “Dialing God.” The guy on the right is the real-life Johnny that I based this character on. Enjoy!
Susan Baganz 