Tag Archive | dream

Author Confessions: Big Hairy Audacious Goals

Jul6
Reading Time: 6 minutes

Author Confessions: Big Hairy Audacious Goals

Have you heard of Big Hairy Adacious Goals before? It was a thing many years ago, and while maybe the BHAG is not quite as talked about now, it is still a thing.

As a young person, I didn’t have any big hairy audacious goals. In reality, I chickened out from doing some things. Life circumstances didn’t give me the confidence to take the risks. I’m intentionally not being specific here because I want you to perhaps think about what big thing you might have passed up out of fear.

My husband on the other hand wanted to start a company like his father had. Make his own way in the world in a “I’ll show you,” kind of way. He worked in a factory by day and did sales on his breaks, and seeing people at night to sell things. His company helped him raise a huge passel of kids and he loved doing the work.

Until he didn’t. Sometimes work environments get tainted and the shine wears off. Then his wife took the company in the divorce and claimed she started it. Alone.

He doesn’t miss it. He doesn’t miss the way he was treated and devalued.

Then he met me and life started fresh and he’s set new goals for himself. Goals that get him up early in the morning and keep him busy all day. A new goal. Pursuing a dream he’d long had. I get to cheer him on through the ups and downs of acheiving that goal.

I never had great goals. Oh, I finished graduate school and got a job that I enjoyed. Then I wanted to have kids. After the second one, I got my dream of staying home with the kids. However, much like my husband’s history, that was fraught with some toxicity which made living out that dream, an everyday dream for many woman, difficult to survive.

I did survive, however, and when I was freed form the toxicity, I met someone who wanted me to get in on some multi-level marketing. I was hesistant but I was in need of an income. I was challenged to dream big about items I would spend the money on. God led me away from that.

All I ever really wanted was someone to love me, a home, my dog, and a garden. And to be able to keep writing.

Notice I didn’t say I wanted to be rich. Funny, since I was deep into poverty at that point. Sure having a newer car would be good, and the ability to keep my kids comfortable. For some people who have been beaten down by life, that is the big hairy audacious goal.

Around the time I met my husband, I was barely keeping my head above water financially but I was doing OK and started looking for work outside the home. My kids were older.

When I married my husband, he would have been fine with me working, but I didn’t need to. The needs of my family and myself were met. I was finally loved, had a home, a dog, and a garden. My kids were safe and provided for. I chose to stay home and my husband has continually expressed gratitude for that and what that provides him at the end of the day. The two kids who remained with me at the time also had the benefit of my availability when they went through some difficult periods. I even got to tow each kid out of a ditch! For my son it was on one off the coldest days of winter, but together we did it. Something I would never have been equipped to do in my old life. Bitter cold wasn’t fun, but being there for him then, still warms my heart now.

As an author, I’m supposed to be pursuing huge sales and a platform that gets the clicks. I’ve worked with a lovely virtual assistant (Hello, Bonnie!) and learned a lot of things. I’ve put much of that into practice in a way that works best for me so I don’t need to pay someone else to do that. There’s this idea of “return on investment,” when it comes to marketing and for me it’s pretty low. I’ve spoken with my publisher about what I should and shouldn’t do to market my books, so while I might not be doing everything others think I “should” be doing, I’m doing work she approves of and not much more.

I keep writing because I enjoy it and people who read my books tell me they want more. I hope there are more than just the few names that popped into my head just now: Heidi, Joan, Jenny, Kimberly, Anita, Lynn, and more that have written reviews (Thank you!). In reality, with all the marketing, and writing a blog, and well, just LIFE, it can be hard to be an author. My kids have moved out and I should have a lot of time to write books, but one husband can definitely take up more time! (and is worth it!). We are in transition as well, and that has placed us in a season like no other. This planner has learned to flex a lot.

So what’s my BHAG now? What big hairy audacious goal do I have at this point? I want to be in our home, welcoming friends for a meal, a game night, or a craft day. Or having people over for dinner to learn more about Jesus and the life He calls us to. I want to make a welcoming space for my husband to come home to, and for me to create in, whether it’s stories, or embroidering, or making cards. I can’t wait to plant bulbs for next spring and design my landscaping.  That doesn’t sound very big, does it?

As I was thinking about this though, a quote that Mary DeMuth made in her book, Restory Your Life, has resonated with me. “God does not call us to be spectacular, He calls us to be faithful.”

Maybe for some people that will mean having the resources for an expensive home, luxury cars, and travel. Maybe for some it means being on a best-seller list, or a keynote speaker (well-paid I’m guessing) at events.

Being on a best-seller list would be nice. Having a significant income from writing would be lovely. The reality for me is that I’m called to be faithful. My first pursuit is Jesus. Every day. Before anything else. And if He wants me to have any of those things He can make it happen. Right now, in this seasion, I’ve scaled back on doing author events, or being on faculty at writers conferences, which I love to do. And that’s OK. Will I ever do those things again? I don’t know.

I don’t need more than I have right now. Oh, sure there are prayers I pray for my kids as I watch their lives from a distance and remind myself their stories aren’t over yet.

Probably the one BHAG I haven’t mentioned is that I want to be able to encourage others on their walk with God. Whether I do that here, or one-on-one at a conference, or in my living room, is irrelevant. Big dreams and books sales pale in comparison to giving someone a kind word, or a hug to let them know that Jesus, and I, love them. That they matter. That God sees them. I’m still meeting people in my community and that can be lonely, yet at the end of the day when I got to give someone a word of encouragement, so they know they were seen, well, that’s priceless isn’t it? Big Hairy Audacious Goals don’t need to be about money. For me it’s about impacting people’s lives, and that happens one person at a time.

God sees me and He can do amazing things in my life. He already has done more than I could have dared to dream. If He can do that, then the best biggest hairy audiacious goal would be to hear, “Well done, good and faithful servant.” I doubt He’ll be looking at my bank account when He says it.

How about you? What are your big hairy audacious goals?

Childhood Dreams

Nov6
Reading Time: 2 minutes

What did you want to be when you grew up? Many of us have dreams that were either unrealistic or abandoned.

When I was in high school I told my father I wanted to be a DJ. I loved music and while I adored singing I realized I didn’t have the chops to be a professional singer. So I figured if I could be the one who talked between the songs I’d be in heaven. My dad burst that bubble quickly. He told me that DJ’s don’t get paid much and work crappy hours. Apparently they used to have one as a neighbor. Later in talking with a DJ I discovered he actually used a different name on the air because people could be threatening to an on air personality. Wow. Hadn’t thought of that. Guess I dodged a bullet? Still I think I would have a good radio voice if I could kill the “ah” and “um” that pops up when I speak.

I still love music and age has tempered my dreams. God opened up a door for writing and I’m in a position where my husband loves that I’m working from home. While it would be nice to actually make more money with a 9-5 job, it satisfies my creativity and I am a homebody at heart. It does come with challenges like any job, because I do need to do things that are harder: sit down and focus to write, marketing, editing.

The best part is writing that first draft. There’s an exhileration in seeing the characters come to life. It’s easy to distract myself from the “work” part of that. I think sometimes it is because I don’t want to finish the story because then the harder stuff happens. Editing. Submitting. More editing. Criticism. Contract. Editing. Editing. Editing. Marketing. Marketing. Marketing.

It takes a lot of hours to produce a book which is why it can be years from completing a rough draft to seeing it in print form in your hand. When I read it again, I fall in love with the character and stories and am in awe of the God who called me to do such things. The gift of writing is from HIM, and not of my own design. I pray I’ll be a good steward until He tells me to stop. He’s also given me opportunities to teach about theology, leadership, and writing and I’ve discovered I love doing that even more than singing. Cool, huh?

How about you? What dreams did you have and have you found a way to perhaps live a better dream? If so, what is it?

The Struggle for Silence

Oct30
Reading Time: 3 minutes

I’m spoiled in that with no kids in the home anymore, so my days can be very quiet. You can hear the keys as I type on my laptop and the windchimes on my porch. But it wasn’t always this way.

I’m one of those who needs space to think. Peace. Quiet. Solitude. I used to have to do this early in the morning before my kids arose. Sometimes one of them, usually my daughter, would soon rise to follow just because she wanted to be close to me. She’s an adult now and living elsewhere.

I’m OK with the quiet. Sometimes I do like noise, maybe music while I fold laundry or work in the kitchen preparing dinner, although sometimes I’ll have the news on then so I can get a feel for what’s happening in the world. Very rarely do I play music while I write and if I do, it’s more likely to be instrumental or classical.

But my day, if possible, starts with solitude. It may only be thirty minutes or an hour – depending on my mood and what I’m reading. I read the Bible, focus on who God says He is and journal my dreams, life, prayers, whatever strikes my fancy. I have a note pad nearby to write down things that pop into my head that I want to pay attention to at some point but am I afraid I’ll forget. Sometimes I read a short passage of a book. Right now I’m working v-e-r-y slowly through The Treasury of the Psalms (Vol 1) by Charles H. Spurgeon. So rich in content and I’m working to savor what I’m learning. Sometimes I’ll read other books too that help me to grow.

There are few variations on this depending on circumstances. If I do it later in the day, or in a different location, I’m fine with that.

Solitude allows time to process life. Feel the emotions I didn’t have time to really focus on in the moment. Dream. Pray.

The quiet is not a boring place but can be extremely full and exciting–it can also be calming to my spirit. I’ve been thinking more about this lately as it’s come up in the small group that meets in our home. I’ve been encouraging them to find time for silence. My husband, Ben, finds it when he drives and spends that time going through a long prayer list. He’s so faithful in this practice and that’s what he feels called to do. If he can’t pray during the drive he finds a chair to sit in while at his shop or at our garage space at home, to be quiet and pray. It’s not a quick space of time but it’s important to him in his walk with the Lord, just like my time in the morning is.

Where do you find solitude, the quiet in your life and what kind of difference does it make in your day? This is not on a list of “do it or die” kind of things. For me it is part of connection to God, being ready for whatever He has in store for me, and self-care. All rolled up into one. I even created a special space in my office, just for this time. Do you have a special time and place where you meet with Jesus? What does that look like?

Dream Chaser

Jul16

Reading Time: 3 minutesIt has been some time since I’ve written here and I wish I could give you some grand excuses as to why. Life has been busy and to be honest, I don’t want to write something just to have a post unless I believe I have something of value to say. If I think long and hard I could probably come up with things, but as a single mom of three Hobbits (that’s what I call my teenagers), life gets crazy at times.

I often use my rare profundity in my real-life, face-to-face interactions with people, whether my friends, or those I meet at conferences when I go to speak, teach, and encourage. 

I admit that life is a challenge at times too.

Depression is an old friend who comes to visit when I least expect, uninvited and unwanted. 

I’m heading into shoulder surgery in a few weeks and that has me a bit scared. Not of the surgery itself, but of the recovery as I am unable to take most pain medications.

I will survive somehow. By God’s grace, I always do. 

I took this photograph in May when I traveled to Colorado. This is south of Pike’s Peak and it was a stunning sight to see I couldn’t help but try to take a picture.

Seeing this display of God’s glory was breathtaking. The mountains, the people I met, the chance to be in a new environment and watch what God would do, was inspiring. 

I realized something very striking.

I live my life too small.

My characters in my novels much more readily go above and beyond in their adventure in living. But not me. I sit behind a keyboard and fabricate stories that hopefully share God’s truths to the reader while entertaining them. Not a bad job by any stretch of the imagination, but it is a lot of hard work for little gain.

That sounds so negative, doesn’t it? Maybe I should clarify that is monetary gain.

God continues to provide for the needs of my family. And sometimes our wants. I get to travel periodically and meet amazing people on my journeys. That’s bigger than the life I used to live by far. And the future holds more promise of the same.

I’ve been challenged recently to dream. To think beyond my daily needs to greater things God might want to do in and through me. What’s surprising is I want to do what I’m doing. I get to write. What an honor to be able to do that. it’s not a smart career move financially but it’s a calling that God has honored. It is hard work. Not all of it is fun by any stretch of the imagination. And I ashamedly get so busy with writing and editing that I sometimes forget that I have a book to promote. Shameful, I know!

But I do want to do so much more than that and not surprisingly it’s not about making money.

It’s about having more opportunities to serve others, encourage them, and watch them dream wilder and bigger.

So I’m praying and have been challenged to dream bigger.

To stretch my imagination with “What if’s” and do things that might help me get there. It means stepping out of my comfort zone. Trying new things even if they scare me…like internet dating!

It means I might fail. I want to be responsible. I have three young people counting on me to be there for them. It might hurt (surgery).

It might mean letting go of some things to make room for better ones. 

So what are your dreams that you’ve been afraid to dream? Can you trust God with those and seek His guidance in reaching for them? If you struggle with depression it can be hard to dream of bigger and better things…but when I look at that photo of the mountains, I’m reminded we have a BIG GOD who can do amazingly, abundantly, more than we could ever think to ask. So I’m seeking Him as I lean into the future and I challenge you to do the same.

What are some of YOUR dreams?