Tag Archive | human

Author Confessions: Understanding Needs

Reading Time: 3 minutes

Author Confessions: Understanding Needs

I was surprised that I never wrote about needs as I’ve always loved Maslow’s Hierarchy of needs and find it contains easy to understand, and biblically sound ideas.

If you’re not familiar with Abraham Maslow, he was an American psychologist and he studied human motivation. It’s probably what he is most famous for. He came up with five basic needs that support the needs above them for a person to be living lives as full as possible.

Hierarchy of Needs

Physiological Needs

These needs we see even in infants. We all need to breathe. If you suffer from asthma like I do, you can appreciate that even more. When you’re hungry you realize how important that need is. Shelter is important to protect us from the hazards that can come from our environments: cold, heat, sun, snow, rain, hurricanes etc. We need clothing as well to protect our bodies. Winter coat in subzero weathers vs shorts and tank tops when it is hot. Sleep is also a need. It messes with our body and our minds when we do not get enough sleep.

Safety and Security

When we break a bone, get a disease, or even a cold, we are reminded how much our health impacts our overall well-being. We need something to do. Now in our society it seems that being online and pontificating and even bragging about not working is the norm but a well-adjusted individual needs employment. Paid or volunteer there is a built in need to contribute to something bigger than ourselves. Property is important, whether you rent or own we need a place. Even gypsy’s have property, they just take it with them. Family is one that is so in danger in our world but is a deep need God has built into us. Having social connections are also important to help us develop and be whole.

Love and Belonging

Friendships, family, intimacy and connection are again, built into us by our amazing God who wants to be in those kinds of relationships with humans. Denying the need for connections and belonging can deeply hurt an individual’s development and very existance. That is why isolation can be so hard long term in prison or for those who are held captive. The lack of connection can be devestating psychologically.

Self-Esteem

We long to be confident, to feel like we matter and that others like us. When that is denied a child, or an adult, it can be devestating. We long for respect for who God created us to be, as unique creations of a loving, and amazing God. When that is withheld it can have a horrible impact on a person’s emotional health.

Self-Actualization

We all have some version of morals, we have different levels of creativity, we desire acceptance, purpose, and to know our life has meaning. We long for the ability to make choices and take actions on our own.

Summary 

Getting our needs seems so simple in a pyramid. Due to sin it can be hard for us to find our needs met in the world around us because it often requires relationships which can be messy.

Next week I’ll be looking at how this connects with motives. Understanding human needs can go a long way to understanding ourselves which is necessary before we seek to understand others. God of course, is already there and calling us to follow Him and grow to be people who can serve Him, even if our needs here on earth are not fully met. Ane while we need these things from other humans, because He designed us for relationships, He also promises to help us with all of these as we seek His face.

Author Confessions: Owning My Mistakes (Ouch!)

Reading Time: 4 minutes

Author Confession: Owning My Mistakes (Ouch!)

I would rather not write this post. I used to be in a relationship with someone I called “the blame-shifter.” Nothing was ever his fault. Anything that happened, was due to someone else’s nefarious sins. Any failure in our relationship was always my fault because he was perfect. It always bothered me. I don’t ever want to be like that.

This past week I discovered that something slipped by me with my editing work for another author. Ugh. The last time something like that happened was when my father was dying and I thought we were all done with edits on a manuscript and so didn’t think about it only to realize, oops! It still had one more round to go! I blitzed and and so did the copyeditor, of course after copious apologies from me. We got it done because I caught it soon enough. Grief can do amazing things to our memory and while that might be true, the reality is, I should have been more diligent. You’d think I’d learned that lesson.

Last fall I sent two manuscripts to an author whom I’ve been working with for about ten years now. She’s always been on time with returning edits and somehow when I looked at our tracker for our projects I didn’t realize that she still had the documents. Odd. Not her fault though. We had a computer glitch in the fall and documents (as in edits) were not being sent out via the system like they should have. It never dawned on me that they never got to her.

So the other day I was in the tracker getting some stuff input for Christmas novellas when I realized this author had a book scheduled to release in two months. Shouldn’t be an issue if we were finishing up copyedits or final proofs but it had only been through one round of edits. Yikes! How did I miss this? Yes, life is busy and to be honest, there is no good excuse for this. The author never inquired as to where the edits, however,  I am the editor and I’m responsible to manage the project and I failed miserably, aided perhaps by a computer glitch, but still, I screwed up.

I instantly emailed the author with the edits (it really impacted two of her projects coming out close together). Once I got those sent, I called my Editor-in-Chief to confess my flub. She was gracious. Yes, we had computer issues and email issues. She said, “It’s OK, Susan.” I responded. “No, it isn’t. While I appreciate your forgiveness and understanding it is causing a ripple effect for everyone.  I messed up. It shouldn’t have happened.”

The author was gracious as well when we decided that the project due in two months would get pushed off to March 2025 due to no other room in the publishing schedule to get it out this year. The upside of this is with two other manuscripts she has releasing this year it will make her work load a lot lighter and she’ll be able to stretch out her marketing for each book so they get the attention they deserve. Less work? Why would that be a bad thing?

This is a multi-published author who has been down the path to publication many times so for her this wasn’t as devastating as it might have been for a first time author. I had that happen with my first novel when someone messed up and we had to delay the release by a few months. I was crushed. I cried. Life happens, but it still was hard to swallow. Fast forward several years and I had some major edits on a story (long story I’ll probably never tell here, but it was agonizing). This came as I was recovering from  surgery and planning a move and a wedding in a short period of time. Even without all that happening I would never have been able to do what that copyeditor wanted me to do and get it done in time for publication. It is unusual for publishing dates to be pushed off, but unexpected things can crop up on the process. I had another book project with another publisher early on in my career, that kept getting delayed so much that I finally had to cancel my contract with them (they violated the terms of the contract).  We parted ways amicably and while that book (non-fiction) is still awaiting publication, I hope it will release someday when God deems it is ready. Not like I don’t have enough to do right now as it is. My plate is full.

With this experienced author, we could have skipped steps to try to make the deadline, but I’ve learned enough through the years that we need to respect the process and unfortunately, time is an essential part of that. Due to the fact that we are not machines, but human beings, editing needs time and space between work done on a manuscript so the author, and editor, can review it objectively.

So, I’ve now shared with you the truly human factor in publishing. People mess up. We make mistakes.  We miss things. I’ve been on both sides of the issue. I am never offended when an author asks where things are at with a submission or in the editing process because I recognize that it is important to them and sometimes those reminders help keep me on track or take a second look to make sure I didn’t miss anything. I shouldn’t need those reminders, but life does get busy for all of us. I’m not making an excuse or blaming anyone else but myself. Any good author, editor, or publisher will be willing to own their mistakes along the way. Ultimately, God is over all of this and perhaps this delay for this particular author will give her not only more time to do the work that needs to be done and do it well, but bless her writing in untold ways. I don’t know. I’m not blaming God. It’s a truth that even when we mess up in life, and own our mistakes, HE is still capable of bringing good out of it. Owning my mistakes though is an important part of the process, even though it hurts to admit just how human I am.

Falling off a Pedestal

Reading Time: 3 minutes

DSC_0506I sat down with a good friend last week and confessed that I was struggling in my walk with God. It’s not that I don’t pray, I do. But making a daily time to spend with Him was something I was ambivalent about and even resisting.

She asked me a good question. How come with all the women I know and have served with, there wasn’t anyone to be holding me accountable?

Well, some are just too busy.

I also served for years in leadership and to some that seems to elevate me to the status of someone who isn’t going to really struggle with my spiritual walk. I’m good for listening to them and encouraging and praying for them–but it’s not reciprocal.

And I’m still feeling bruised and battered from some of the abuses I suffered while in leadership. These are hurts that few know about because I don’t gossip and spread other’s sins abroad, no matter how badly I was injured in the process.

My friend gets it because she’s seen leadership struggle in her own church. It can be a lonely place.

Someone came up to me a few weeks ago and told me she used to be afraid to approach me. She thought I was intimidating.

Wow. That made me so sad. I don’t want to ever appear intimidating.

I’m glad she knows better now.

So here’s the scoop. I’m not in the “in” group anywhere. I often feel like an outsider. I’m afraid I’m not good enough – at anything and everything.  I cry. I lose sleep due to my irrational fears.

I get lonely and due to circumstances I won’t go into here. I struggle to feel like I have any value in this crazy mixed up world because there are people in my life who have pretty much led me to believe I don’t. And I often sabotage myself in the very things I’m trying to achieve.

Ugly truths, huh?

I don’t like heights. It’s not the heights themselves, but the fear of falling from them. Please, PLEASE take me off any pedestal you have put me on.

I sin. I screw up. I let emotions sometimes derail me from being productive in the work God has called me to do. I get scared about the future, even the good things I see God doing.

I don’t feel ready for that. I feel inadequate and inept.

Just because I smile doesn’t mean I have my act together. I’m so far from perfect. I’m a member of the human race just like you are. Any good you see in me is totally there by the grace of God.

I’m grateful that my friend was willing to take the next step that many others weren’t. She asked me the tough questions and she made a date for us to meet again to discuss how it’s going. Accountability. I am beyond grateful.

The best gift I ever got while serving in ministry was from the first pastor I worked for who weekly did not hesitate to ask : “So how is your walk with God going? What is He teaching you?” At first I found those questions intimidating but soon learned they were an expression of love. We need more of this in the church.

In a recent radio interview I said this: “Whatever calling you pursue, don’t do it alone. I don’t think we can do anything for the glory of God on our own.”

I know I can’t. How about you? Who is holding you accountable in your walk with God?