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Author Confessions: What Do You Treasure?

Dec22
Reading Time: 3 minutes

Author Confessions: What Do You Treasure?

I love to give gifts and struggle to find the best one for people. I would prefer something they would treasure. Perhaps even something they didn’t know they needed or wanted that would bring them joy.

I doubt the majority of people recognized the treasure that rested in the arms of Mary. Sure shepherds came to visit in the middle of the night. I can’t imagine the disturbance. Even giving birth in a hospital, all you really want is to be with your baby and rest!

When I’ve been sick or in deep pain, it’s amazing how much the material things of this world fade away. Life narrows in those darker moments of life when the material fades and all that remains is us–and a holy God who is in control of the next moment.

While I fret about things like getting my dog to pee outside when the temperatures are freezing, or what to make for dinner, in a hearbeat all of those concerns vanish and become insignificant.

I’m not trying to minimize the daily concerns we all deal with. The challenges to pay the bills, respond to the emails, make sure everyone is doing well in our homes, including our pets. Those are real-life responsibilities we need to take seriously.

But in the bigger scheme of things, will the time spent fretting about them be something I will even remember six months or a year from now and look back and think they were important?

What do you treasure?

Some people put treasures in safes. Some display them. And yet Mary, pondered the events surrounding the night of Christ’s birth, treasuring them in her heart.

So what sticks? What lasts? While there may be many things in the end I think it might boil down to four:

  1. Faith. When we have a deep faith and have buried God’s Word in our hearts, that lasts. It provides comfort and solace as we cling to the Word made flesh: Jesus.
  2. People. You can have a wide network of people on social media but who is it you would drop everything for to be there if they were in need? Who would do that for you? Hold those people close and treasure those relationships. Quality relationships take time, but are worth the sacrifice. Pets might make this grouping as well.
  3. Memories. It is amazing how our brain can bring back memories and hopefully will help us focus on the good moments and the blessings, even in the midst of the difficulties we might endure through life. Visit those often and keep them fresh! Photo books are helpful for this too. While it may be hard to winnow down the multitude of photographs we take, now that everything is digital, having written notes can refresh the moments (and the names) we might otherwise forget and bring a smile to our faces.
  4. Music. It is amazing how music can bring so much joy and how nostalgic it can be. Certain songs propel me back in time to when I was earnestly struggling and seeking God in the middle of it and how those songs carried me through. When I was having a birthday party this year I combed through hundreds of CD’s and culled out my favorite “party” songs to play – those that make me happy but many were tied to moments too. I still love listening to that and probably should make another of worship songs that I love. When my heart is troubled, I often revert to a handful of songs that I will sing to myself for comfort and a reminder that God (back to #1) is still at work.

Notice what didn’t make that list? Home. Cars. Careers. Education. Bank balance.

What do you think? What do you treasure most?

When I die someday, these two songs I want played at my funeral as they have such deep meaning for me and hopefully will bless you. They aren’t Christmas songs but they are very much about the Jesus whose birth we celebrate. Merry Christmas! Hold your treasures close.

Chai Latte Love

Dec4
Reading Time: 4 minutes

I am not a coffee drinker. I have drunk it and if it’s weak enough and has some stevia in it and perhaps a flavor (Butternut Rum or Highlander Grogg were tolerable) I can do it for a calorie-free option. In my previous life, many moons ago, I was married to someone else who periodically decided that due to me being overweight, I should not have chai. Other times he was fine with it.

I had even had my naturopathic doctor test me with my chai and he said it was neutral. Neither good or bad for me so “Enjoy your chai.” Yay!

I usually only have one mug in the morning while I spend time in God’s Word. When my children were little we lived in a tiny 700-square-foot mobile home. One day I noticed the chai supply was dwindling so I ordered more. At that time there was no Amazon. I ordered from the distributer and got a discount when I bought in bulk. The order arrived in a cardboard box. My husband at the time came in and put the box in the kitchen.

“What is this?” he asked.

“Chai. We were running low so I ordered some more,” I said, curious as to why this was an issue. Note: sometimes he enjoyed a cup of chai too.

“You shouldn’t be having sugar. It’s not good for you. I’m taking this and putting on the dryer. You cannot have it.”

That is what he did. The box, unopened, sat on top of the dryer. I did let him know I didn’t appreciate being spoken to that way. And I prayed.

I wanted to submit to my husband even if he was being nasty and unreasonable. I told God that I didn’t need chai to be happy or survive. I told God I didn’t want to make chai an idol in my life. I also prayed: “God, if it is okay for me to drink chai, have my husband bring that box back to the kitchen, open it up and fill the container.”

Odd request right? And very specific. However, I’d seen God do amazing things and was convinced that God was capable. I needed to trust him and not react out of my own hurt feelings or rebel against my controlling husband which would only make a bad marriage worse.

A week went by and on a Friday, the container I kept my chai in was finally empty. I washed it out and set it to dry on the counter. I told God I was fine and would trust Him whether I got to drink chai or not. I was at peace with this.

That afternoon my husband stormed into the trailer and came to the kitchen. He opened the cupboard where I normally kept the plastic container filled with chai. He turned. “Where’s the chai?” he demanded.

“It’s empty. Here’s the container.” I picked it up, totally dry now and put the lid on it.

“Didn’t you buy more?” he asked. How could he forget his explosion about this?

“Yes, I did.” I answered, staying calm.

“Well, where is it?” he demanded. He was going to lose his temper!

“On the dryer in the box it came in.”

He rushed down the hallway, grabbed the box, put it on the counter, opened it and then took out a bag of chai, opened that, and dumped it in the plastic container. Just like I had asked God to have him do. Then he made himself a cup of chai. He left the house to go back to his office behind our home.

I never did tell my then-husband that God had used him to answer prayer. It wasn’t the first time and wouldn’t be the last when something happened in spite of my then-husband’s behaviors. It wasn’t about getting my way or proving to that man that it was acceptable for me to have a cup of chai. Or that he was wrong in seeking to control me in that manner. It was about my relationship with Jesus.

Once he was gone, I praised God for His love and care. I think I even laughed at how specific I had prayed and how identically God fulfilled my request. The LORD cares about the things we need and delights in giving them to His children. He doesn’t want to be sought just for what we can get from Him. He wants to be the most important Person in our lives. I didn’t even have a cup of chai at that moment. I saved it for the next morning when I was going to be spending time one-on-one, with the lover of my soul, my Savior, Jesus. And ever since then I remember the chai-latte-love of my God. A sweet answer to prayer and reminder that even in a painful marriage, in a crappy moldy mobile home that made me ill, with three kids and very little money – God saw me, loved me, and provided me a reminder of that in a simple cup of chai.

One of the things God instructed people to do in the Old Testament was to set up stones, monuments that were a testimony of the work God had done. I don’t need to set up a stone, but I do at times need to remind myself, and smile, that God has blessed me far beyond what I deserve. His mercy and grace are at times so overwhelming. And when life hands us the difficult stuff, or the painful memories beat us down, or the effects of someone else’s sin wounds us deeply, we can remember and recite the awesome love and faithfulness of God to ourselves.

I am married to a different man now, and he will fill my kettle at night and turn it on in the morning. When we are on vacation, he will go out of his way to make sure I have a chai tea latte even if he has to go Starbucks to get it. What a difference. A small way for him to show his love to me as well. God has been so good to me.

When have you seen God do a miracle? Big or small, it doesn’t matter. Share that with someone, or share it here so we can exalt Him who came as a baby to save us from our sins. He did all that–and more. He is worth of our praise and devotion.

Skipping Stones

Jul14

Reading Time: 3 minutesAt some level we all want to know we are important. The truth is that actions and words can have a ripple effect we don’t know about and that can impact the world for centuries to come. It’s hard to live in that reality that one person is important. That no person is ever unimportant.

Some people are a force to be reckoned with. When you think of people in the public eye, their good (or bad) deeds are seen by many and have a ripple effect. When we hear of their deaths, (rest in peace Andy Griffith), we mourn as if we knew them.

But we didn’t.

me with burlap to cashmere
I got all fangirlish seeing a band I loved from way back. They were gracious enough to let me get my photo taken with them. (Thanks Burlap to Cashmere! You guys RAWK!). The fact is though, they gave me an hour of pleasure in watching them exercise their God-given gifts. Then I go back to my life and they go home. They don’t know me and won’t remember me and while I will always appreciate their music, I don’t really know them beyond what I can read on-line. I don’t know their favorite color or what makes them laugh or what their biggest fears are.

As I reflected on this it hit me that we do this to people whose gifts we appreciate. And while they share the gospel in song, they aren’t saving lives or fighting for our freedoms.

But no one is more important than anyone else. 

I’m nothing special. I suspect I would be missed more for what I do than for who I am when the time comes. Because much like the guys in a band, most of you really don’t know me. And maybe that’s good. I’m pretty open and honest about what I like and don’t so if you follow me here or my fan page on Facebook, you’ll get a pretty good clue. But even then you won’t know the deep hurts that resonate within me day after day. And in reality, you probably don’t care. You have your own hurts to hold. And social media is not the place to always share those darker corners of our souls.

Image courtesy of njaj / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Image courtesy of njaj / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

In some ways I resemble a skipping stone. Smooth on the outside. Maybe even flat (they skip better I hear). God tosses me out on the lake of humanity and I touch and leave ripples, skip and repeat and eventually, plop. Down I go to sink beneath the surface as if I never appeared. Maybe that skip was a blog post, or a one-on-one for counseling, a class I taught or sending a contract for a book. But then you move on with your life and I move on with mine, sinking under the water.

Blub. Blub. Blub.

And the only way I can resurface is when God reaches down to pull me back out again and cast me where he wants me to go. There for a moment and then gone, hopefully touching lives for the better but always sinking in the end.

Some people are blessed. God has gifted them with another human being, a spouse or a closer-than-a-brother friend to celebrate or commiserate with the skips. Someone who validates that even after the ripples fade, that yes, they had been there and made a wave. I hope that a band like Burlap to Cashmere have close relationships within that group to get them through the lonely moments of life. I hope you do too. In the meantime I’ll just keep letting God drag me up from the bottom of whatever lake he’s skipped me across and let him toss me again and trust that somehow, in the sea of time, I make a difference. Even if no one else notices. And that that difference pleased my Creator.

In the meantime, maybe you’ll be blessed by this band and their classic hit from 1998 performed at a live concert earlier this summer.

 

It’s a Wonderful Life Even When It Isn’t

Jun23

Reading Time: 3 minutes

A depressed George Bailey.

A depressed George Bailey.

Depression sucks.

So I referenced It’s A Wonderful Life in my title. Here’s why. I dislike that movie. Ironically when it first came out it did poorly at the box office. It didn’t even break even financially. In the film world, it was a dud.

I hate a movie that became a Christmas classic. The reason is that poor George had dreams and he gave them up. He had waited and saved and held a carrot out in front of him and it was snatched ruthlessly from his grip when he was on the cusp of reaching his dream.

This man’s suicide attempt didn’t just happen when money was lost and he was going to be arrested for a fraud he never committed. No. It came when he gave up his dreams.

Yes, he was noble and responsible and he sacrificed it all at the altar of everyone else’s dreams and needs and then ended up getting screwed in the end anyway. (Yes, I know it ends happily but come on, he got the raw end of a deal from Mr. Potter). So he did what he was supposed to do. All the right things. And it still left him empty.

Grab a tissue.

Maybe I relate too closely to George Bailey. Maybe the reason the movie is now a classic is that at some level, we all relate.

Who among us gets everything we dreamed of

and longed for out of this life?

Making a difference in the lives of others is the silver lining in this tale. Was George the richest man in town though because his friends came through for him? I mean, sure, he avoids prison, but does it really fill that hole deep inside?

At the heart of depression is a feeling of worthlessness. Even more than that is a sense of helplessness. George Bailey had, in many ways, let life make choices for him. Sometimes, when depressed, a person can’t even see the choices that might be out there. Yes, George made some good choices and impacted the lives of many. In the alternate universe only the negative was highlighted though. Does one person’s life really make that much of a difference?

A depressed person can’t see that their life makes a difference. No matter what anyone tells them, the message is blocked by the words and lies of others planted early on that say otherwise. After all, shouldn’t those people closest to us and have known us the best speak truth when they tell us no one will ever love us? Or that we aren’t pretty enough? Or smart enough? Or important enough?

“In 900 years of time and space

I’ve never met anyone who wasn’t important.”

Doctor Who

Yeah, I’m quoting a fictional character. Get over it. The fact of the matter is, even the shyest among us wants to be considered important. That’s why we want to the object of someone’s love. Or have a BFF. Or be the best at whatever it is we do. Because somehow that means our existence is validated.

Andy Andrews wrote a book called The Butterfly Effect that illustrates the importance of one life and the millions of lives one person can impact over generations.

It’s hard to see with that kind of vision when one is in a deep pit smothered in a thick woolen blanket. And the world around is farting in your face.

The real tightrope is our identity in Christ. I am his favorite child. The favorite of all the people He created like me . . . because there is only one me. But He has other favorites too. You are His favorite you. With a unique fingerprint, DNA, gifts, personality and life experiences, no one else is like you.

And God didn’t put us here to wander. He’s given us a purpose and a unique identity in Him. So I am the best. Whether the world around me wants to acknowledge that or not. I am the best me there is. I’m not perfect, but I’m growing and changing and sometimes that is painful.

But even if the world around me cannot convince me of my worth, this should: Jesus died so I could have a relationship with Him. He is my best friend and the only one who can really validate my existence. I may not see the impact or have a Clarence to show me, but I can trust the keeper of the stars to let me know when the time is right, that my life, even the low points, were still used by Him for His glory.

 

 

 

Fact or Fiction?: Cherie: A Forgettable Tale

Nov15

Reading Time: < 1 minute“Have you found it yet, Mommy?”

“No, I haven’t” said Cherie in frustration.

“Do you remember where you last had it?”

“If I did remember, I would not be having a problem, or asked you to help me search.”

“But Mommy,” asked the precocious six year old, “how did you lose it in the first place?”

“Again, I do not remember, Dear.”

“But, you remember me and Daddy, right?”

“Yes.”

“And you remember your friends?”

“True.”

“So what is it you have forgotten?”

“Everything else.”

“Mom!”

“Okay, I forget birthdays and to pick up milk at the grocery store. Things like that.”

“But you never forget to pick me up.”

“True.”

“So why is it important to find. You seem okay to me.”

“Because I used to remember everything, and I can’t anymore! I desperately need to find my memory!”

“Maybe you are trying to stuff too much stuff into your head,” giggled the little girl.

Cherie smiled, “Maybe so.”

“But Momma, you never forget the really important stuff.”

“Tell me that when you are missing your snack in tomorrow’s lunch. I seem to have forgotten your yogurt!”

“Oh, Mom! I love you anyway – don’t forget that!”

“I won’t, Honey. I won’t.  Cherie bent down to give her daughter a hug, totally forgetting what she had been looking for.