Tag Archive | life

Author Confessions: Purge, Delete, and Simplify

Jan19
Reading Time: 4 minutes

Author Confessions: Purge, Delete, and Simplify

I was deleting a bunch of emails this morning and it hit me how cluttered life gets. Right now I live in a tiny apartment and there truly isn’t enough space for everything to have it’s own place that is easy to find and manage. I try to file my papers and receipts and keep things in order but the mess often overwhelms me.

Now part of this might just be me and my ADHD brain. But I do understand that when the clutter is cleared up, there is an emotional benefit.

When I moved 7 years ago, I sold, purged, and gave away a lot of things. When we moved this last summer I did the same. My husband joked that he liked my way of moving by selling stuff. All my bookshelves were sold. They were not strong enough to keep being moved and moved and moved without falling apart – so I sold them cheap to others who would benefit and enjoy them. Once we can occupy our home, I can try to figure out what I want for bookshelves. Maybe my husband could do a built in bookcase? He could but he has so many other projects and I wouldn’t trust myself with his saws to make it myself. I’ll probably be back on Facebook marketplace to find what I need.

I digress. As we are moving into this new year, what about things you might want to purge, delete, and simplify?

I’m going to spitball some things:

  • Less screen time
  • Less impulse shopping
  • Less negative thinking
  • Less criticism and judgement
  • Less social media posturing about politics

I know someone who years ago gave up physical books. He went to everything on his kindle. I can’t do that as much as I do love reading on my kindle, there is something about physical books…  Having said that, I might be purging, as against my wishes, boxes of books ended up in a storage hoop that eventually collapsed under heavy, wet snow. I won’t know until spring if the books were damaged by moisture. Cardboard boxes only provide so much protection, but I was assured they would be fine and my requests for them to be wrapped in plastic were forgotten. I could have moved them, but I couldn’t get at them without hurting myself, so I surrended. Our wood stove might have some extra fuel if those books are damaged, and I’ll need to re-evaluate whether I purchase those titles again in hardcover or paperback…or get kindle copies if I think I still might want them.

Getting rid of things, and thoughts, often leaves a vacuum which can easily be filled with something else. I can clean off our kitchen table but it soon becomes a dumping ground. We are unable to NOT think of something. Just thinking about not thinking of something forces you to think about it.

So perhaps instead of less screen time, pick up a book or do a hobby. Or instead of avoiding Amazon, re-evaluate your closet or shop at a thrift store if you want something “newer” in your wardrobe. I have some pieces I’m still wearing and love after many, many years that I found that way. Instead of negative thinking, how about thinking about positive things: practicing gratitude, or memorizing Scripture. Let praise and compliments flavor your speech instead of focusing on criticism. Not that we can’t speak the truth in love, but perhaps focus on positive things more. As for social media? Decide who you really want people to see there, and what they walk away with when they think of you and your posts. Granted, if that’s your job, fine, but otherwise, perhaps shine a light in the darkness instead of contributing to the mess.

I’m preaching to myself here.

As a writer we often try to get rid of redundant phrases or words that are unnecessary. The same is true in life. I’m a writer and will confess to an overabundance of writing implements and notepads. Yes, I do a majority of my writing on my laptop but I do still love pen/pencil and paper for many things. Too often not being able to find paper or pen has given me a need to have them everwhere! I’ve even got my hubby using legal pads to make lists – but he often uses a marker to write things down big on those pads as he outlines the things he doesn’t want to forget!  Even on my laptop there are far more files than need to be there and some are saved on external hard drives because I can’t seem to be bothered to erase them. The rough draft of a novel I wrote over 10 years ago doesn’t really need to be saved, does it?

How about people or relationships? I firmly believe that people are important and we need to make time to develop and foster good relationships, but not all of them are beneficial. Where do you draw the line and stop trying to connect with people that aren’t reciprocating? Or perhaps are using you? That can be difficult to do and I’m not saying be mean and cut people out of your life all together unless they are toxic, then no-contact is great. What I am saying is: be wise about who you spend your time with. Focus on those relationships where you can. When that door closes on their side, walk away knowing God has someone else to connect with that He will reveal in His due time. The waiting can be hard.

It’s not spring yet, or time for spring cleaning, but I know that when I’m done writing this post I’m taking out the garbage and loading up paper waste in my car along with some others stuff that needs to be gone from our space. Once that happens I’ll emotionally be in a better place to tackle the other things on my to do list. None of it is fun, but it is necessary.

How about you? What do you need to purge, delete, or simplify in your life? I’d love to hear your ideas!

 

Author Confessions: What Do You Treasure?

Dec22
Reading Time: 3 minutes

Author Confessions: What Do You Treasure?

I love to give gifts and struggle to find the best one for people. I would prefer something they would treasure. Perhaps even something they didn’t know they needed or wanted that would bring them joy.

I doubt the majority of people recognized the treasure that rested in the arms of Mary. Sure shepherds came to visit in the middle of the night. I can’t imagine the disturbance. Even giving birth in a hospital, all you really want is to be with your baby and rest!

When I’ve been sick or in deep pain, it’s amazing how much the material things of this world fade away. Life narrows in those darker moments of life when the material fades and all that remains is us–and a holy God who is in control of the next moment.

While I fret about things like getting my dog to pee outside when the temperatures are freezing, or what to make for dinner, in a hearbeat all of those concerns vanish and become insignificant.

I’m not trying to minimize the daily concerns we all deal with. The challenges to pay the bills, respond to the emails, make sure everyone is doing well in our homes, including our pets. Those are real-life responsibilities we need to take seriously.

But in the bigger scheme of things, will the time spent fretting about them be something I will even remember six months or a year from now and look back and think they were important?

What do you treasure?

Some people put treasures in safes. Some display them. And yet Mary, pondered the events surrounding the night of Christ’s birth, treasuring them in her heart.

So what sticks? What lasts? While there may be many things in the end I think it might boil down to four:

  1. Faith. When we have a deep faith and have buried God’s Word in our hearts, that lasts. It provides comfort and solace as we cling to the Word made flesh: Jesus.
  2. People. You can have a wide network of people on social media but who is it you would drop everything for to be there if they were in need? Who would do that for you? Hold those people close and treasure those relationships. Quality relationships take time, but are worth the sacrifice. Pets might make this grouping as well.
  3. Memories. It is amazing how our brain can bring back memories and hopefully will help us focus on the good moments and the blessings, even in the midst of the difficulties we might endure through life. Visit those often and keep them fresh! Photo books are helpful for this too. While it may be hard to winnow down the multitude of photographs we take, now that everything is digital, having written notes can refresh the moments (and the names) we might otherwise forget and bring a smile to our faces.
  4. Music. It is amazing how music can bring so much joy and how nostalgic it can be. Certain songs propel me back in time to when I was earnestly struggling and seeking God in the middle of it and how those songs carried me through. When I was having a birthday party this year I combed through hundreds of CD’s and culled out my favorite “party” songs to play – those that make me happy but many were tied to moments too. I still love listening to that and probably should make another of worship songs that I love. When my heart is troubled, I often revert to a handful of songs that I will sing to myself for comfort and a reminder that God (back to #1) is still at work.

Notice what didn’t make that list? Home. Cars. Careers. Education. Bank balance.

What do you think? What do you treasure most?

When I die someday, these two songs I want played at my funeral as they have such deep meaning for me and hopefully will bless you. They aren’t Christmas songs but they are very much about the Jesus whose birth we celebrate. Merry Christmas! Hold your treasures close.

Author Confessions: Be Who God Created You to Be

Sep29
Reading Time: 4 minutes

Author Confessions: Who God Created You to Be

In light of events in the past few weeks there has been a lot of focus on one man. His videos are being watched by millions and many want to use his name as a calling card and a rallying cry. This is not a post about that man, or any man.

It is amazing what some people accomplish in this world. People can be so amazing. We can point to great parenting, deep faith, dizzying intellect or any other number of things to explain why someone would be so polarizing and inspiring all at the same time.

Here’s the truth. God called you to be you.

Your journey on this earth will be uniquely yours.

It’s nice to look up to people and admire them but the reality is our only focus should be on Jesus, God the  Father, and the empowerment of the Holy Spirit within those of us who claim to be His redeemed children.

Any little thing we do can have a ripple effect through eternity and we may never know what that impact will be. If you’ve never read The Butterfly Effect by Andy Andrews, check it out at the library. It’s a short read but inspiring. He also has a children’s book called The Kid Who Changed the World which has similar content.

While some people seem to be having an impact due to number of followers on social media or a blog, how many watch an interview on television or a podcast… the reality is, we can never fully know that impact and to do any of that to seek numbers, followers, or money, is a vain and foolish goal.

When we sold our house I asked our realtor if it was unusual to have so many showings so quickly. She said, “Yes, at your price point this is unusual, but you only need one right buyer.”

Just one. We did and he loves the house.

If I spent years working on a manuscript between writing, revising, editing, pitching, revising again, editing, submitting to a publisher, contracting, editing, editing, editing, marketing and trying to get that book out, how many people will make those hundreds or maybe thousands of hours of work worth it? f I’m trying to be compensated fairly for my time the number would be quite high.

If I’m writing the stories God tells me to write, then the true answer is: the right reader who needs that story. Five hundred people could read it but it might be one person who needed that story to take that next step of faith. That has eternal value.

An author sat down to pitch a story to me at a writer’s conference and she started out by saying, “I know you don’t like Amish fiction, but…” I stopped her. “You knew I didn’t want that yet you’re here to pitch it? Why did you write Amish fiction?” She said she wrote it because it sells well. That was true at the time and even my agent wanted me to write Amish romances, but I refused for a variety or reasons that maybe I’ll write about another time. I told her that as a Christian author she should write the stories God tells her to write, not just what will sell.

Why does obedience and faith need to be tied to a price tag or a quantity of people validating it?

This post is not about any big name who died doing what God called them to do. It’s not about any well known person who is getting attention in this world. Yes, their lives matter.

Don’t compare yourselves to them or try to be anything other than who God created you to be. It’s a reminder to me as well. My journey is my journey and it has at times been unconventional, but I’ve always sought God’s leading through the Holy Spirit along the way. Have I obeyed flawlessly? No. None of us can. But I’m still here and I’m still trying to be who He needs me to be, which is ME and no one else, using the unique gifts, calling, and opportuinities as they present themselves, for HIS glory and not my own.

Don’t focus on a big name or someone who seems popular. Keep your eyes fixed on Jesus, and be exactly who God created you to be. Let God take care of the rest.

Author Confessions: It’s The Little Things, Part I

Aug18
Reading Time: 2 minutes

Author Confessions: It’s The Little Things Part I

My husband and I watch movies together and my husband delights in finding things that are wrong in a movie. Like fully leafed out green leaves covered in fake snow to illustrate a winter, Christmas season.

Tiny details can matter when writing a story and for an author it can be a challenge to keep track of them.

For instance, in my novel, Whitney’s Vow, she wore glasses, or contacts. Throughout the story I had to remember whether she had her glasses or was wearing contacts. She would take out the contacts if she had migrains which she suffered from. Throughout the story I needed to keep in mind what she could or could not see based on whether she was wearing contacts or glasses. This can be exhausting! Some authors keep a style sheet with information about each character. Sometimes I do character interviews before writing. That’s how I discovered that Katrina had a scar on her hand from a fall after climbing a tree. (Sir Michael’s Mayhem). It was funny how important that scar, and that tree, became to the story.

When an author embues a character with a quirk, whether it is clothing, a speech pattern, physical infrirmity, the author needs to keep that in mind. Or if they are injured in some way, like when Pastor Dan in Bratwurst and Bridges broke his leg skiing, that had to be top of mind when he was navigating through events in the story.

Details, even tiny ones, can be essential. Especially in a mystery. A stray piece of hair. A bit of skin under a fingernail. A small piece of glass. Even before DNA it is sometimes small clues that could link someone to a crime.

If you’ve read enough of this blog, you’ll note that there are a myriad of details that an author must pay attention to, but even so, it is sometimes the smallest of things that can make a difference in a story.

Are there any unusual or interesting details you’ve noticed in books you’ve read lately? Perhaps innocuous but still essential to the story or characters the authors penned? I’d love to hear about them.

 

 

 

Author Confessions: Reaching One vs Many

Jul15
Reading Time: 4 minutes

Author Confessions: Reaching One vs Many

As an author it would be lovely to have a best selling book. Except that how do you measure that? By overall sales? Well, that’s one way. My book Pesto and Potholes was offered for a week at an extremely discounted rate and it shot to number one on Amazon and stayed in the top ten that week for the catagory it was listed in. A friend asked me how it felt to be a “best-seller.”

Weird. Surreal.

It wasn’t real. The reality is most authors, this one included, do not make a liveable wage from writing books. Having said that, I’m doing fine. God has given me a calling and I’ve striven with His help to follow where He has led on this journey to publishing. He has provided for my physical needs. On paper, I make a small amount of taxable income but that is usually because I will not always include every deduction I possibly could when I file my  taxes. Too many losses when self-employed makes the IRS think it’s just a hobby.

Writing, for me, is not a hobby. As I said, it’s a calling. Sure it would be nice to have the accolades like other better-known, authors have. Oh, to have the income of a Richard Castle! Granted, he is fictional, but still, what a delightful fantasy to have that kind of financial resource to do whatever I wanted to do, go wherever I wanted to go, and live without any worry over investments, inflation or anything else. The only battle he had was against himself and writer’s block. And maybe his vanity? Or how about Jessica Fletcher in Murder She Wrote? Not so much living the high life but definitely not worried about her finances, although it seemed she found foul play around every corner. Not the kind of life I would want.

Oh, maybe I need to be writing murder mysteries? Or erotica. They do seem to sell well.

Nope. That’s not what God has called me to do. I write romance because the best romance is the one we have with our Savior. It’s real. It’s personal. It is life-changing. By His grace we have been given real-life love that reflects or mirrors that of our relationship to God.

I digress, but it was an important point.

The reality is, when I get to heaven, God isn’t going to ask about my book sales. He’s not even going to be worried about how many books or blog posts I’ve written. He will only be concerned with whether I accepted the free gift of salvation found only in Jesus Christ.

After that all the rest is a reward based on my obedience and the lives I influence for HIS glory while here on this planet.

That isn’t always reflected in book sales.

That might be the interaction I have at a craft fair with a young teen who loves to write. He or she may not even purchase my one of my books but I encouraged them to pursue their passion. If nothing else, good writing skills will always be an asset in any career field. It might be a friend I sit with to listen, love, and pray over. It might be the small group of people who meet in my home to study the work of another writer that encourages us to grow in our faith. It might be a student in a writing or theology class I’ve taught. None of which has anything to do with any book I’ve written.

None of that translates into book sales, does it?

I can do all the marketing, pay lots of money for ads, do interviews, and blog tours and it still might not make me or my publisher any more money. My books can be high quality without having a huge readership and income.

If one person’s life is helped. If they are encouraged in their faith or finally understand God’s love for the first time through a story God led me to write. That’s priceless.

The down side? That doesn’t help pay the bills for myself, my editor, publisher, cover artist, marketing person, or virtual assistant.

Maybe I’m not doing this marketing thing right. I’ve hired help and I’m working hard but I’ll admit to occassional discouragement when I see only two reviews on one of my favorite titles. Great reviews but I’m sure more than two people read that book. Reviews help others find great books. Sales also help. Even if you pick up my book at a church library or the public library, a review is sooo helpful to an author. Yes, it’s encouraging to know people love my stories. Reviews help other people find them as well.

I used to pay more attention to reviews and sales than I do now. They are not a reflection of my worth of value as a follower of Christ or an author, although some might make that corralation. Ultimely, I really won’t know the value or impact my words have had until I get to heaven.

In the meantime I’ll keep writing. I have learned over the years that it is the time spent with people, quality time, one-on-one, listening to their story, encouraging them, praying for them, that has greater eternal value. I’m not minimizing the hard work that I put in to writing and editing a novel or novella. It can be grueling at times. It takes discipline and saying no to other great things I might like to do. Reaching one vs many is the tension I live with but when the scales are off balance, I suspect it will always be in favor of the one.

Author Confessions: Life Gets in the Way of Art

Feb26
Reading Time: 4 minutes

Life Gets in the Way of Art

I have so much work I need to do before I can write another book and it’s frustrating. I had to get the taxes together for our LLC, my personal business and of course just our home. It’s complicated. I think I’m on top of it now. Then a family member needed someone to take them to the emergency room. I work from home – and of course, even if I didn’t I’d have done what I could to be there by their side. Our dog became increasingly sick, which meant more time to care for him, clean up after him, and then finally make that awful decision to put him down. My husband was due to have surgery but a subsequent injury meant that it was pushed up several weeks earlier with another to follow. That also means accompanying him to all of the appointemnts and physical therapy. My daughter moved back home. Time was spent on cleaning out two rooms and part of the basement. Now I want to finish the basement and purge, purge, purge! After we put down our dog, we adopted a rescue puppy the very next day. Add potty training to my to do list!

I’m also doing physical therapy for an injury and doing the daily warmup and exercise can take an hour minimum. Must be done if I’m to be pain free.

I don’t know how I would live if I had to work full-time outside the home. As a self-employed writer I control my schedule.

Or does my schedule control me?

Real life: caring for loved ones, pets, family, maintaining relationships, preparing for our bi-weekly small group, maintaining my daily time with God, brushing teeth, showering, cleaning house, doing dishes, doing the laundry and actually putting the clothes away, grocery shopping, paying bills… all take time. Not a lot of time individually, but they take time and energy and effort.

I still don’t know how I managed to do all this with three kids underfoot. Sometimes I think I’m busier now with my retired but active husband.

Part of it is I would often work at night, or write while the kids were at school which meant everything else was done when they were home. That probably resulted in less fun time with them. I remember homework wars and the exhaustion of helping a strong-willed incredibly stubborn child to do his work. It took so much more time and mental energy than it should have. But I did it.

I did the best I could with what I knew then. Just like I’m doing the best I can with what I know now. Sometimes projects and work have to wait. If I don’t fold the clothes, eventually my husband will. He’s a busy man as well and we are committed to relaxing in the evenings. No work. That means sometimes things fall through the cracks.

The big lesson I’ve learned though through all of this over the years is that people are more important than tasks. Sure I feel bad if I forget to pay a bill, so maybe it’s late (usually it’s early) but it’s rare and I need to give myself grace. When I tell a friend about all I have going on they often respond with how exhausted I made them.

We all have our own burdens to bear and challenges. Creating a story won’t happen unless I make it happen. It’s not like a mythical muse actually taps me on the shoulder to say “Write! Now!” Not that I won’t have ideas or dreams of what I want to write but often things won’t start to flow until I make the space and time to actually do it. Sometimes that may mean saying no to something else that’s really good.

As I write this I’m sitting in a hallway at a medical center while a family member has some tests run. So I’m getting some needed work done while not being home but when that individual comes out of their testing, I’m done and my focus will be on them. Thankfully, the two hours I have are being productive because I invested in a smaller laptop for travel so that I could do such things. This same laptop allowed me to do National Novel Writing Month (nanowrimo.com) in November even though we were gone, having traveled for 9 days! I wrote in a car, early mornings before friends woke up, in the airport, and on the plane. I had a goal and I made it happen and as a result I had a short novel to send to my publisher for this coming Christmas. Maybe they won’t like it because I tried something new! If not then maybe I’ll self-publish it because I love it so much. We’ll see.

Life gets in the way of art but without real life there would be no art. That is a truth I embrace and live. I’m doing more now to actually live a fuller, more well-rounded life, than when I wrote those first two dozen novels. So maybe I won’t write as many books in a year, but I hope and pray the ones I do write will be  better because I’m living and enjoying the life God has granted to me right now.

Art is important, but people are even more valuable and I need to treasure as much time with those God has placed in my life as possible. Our souls are for eternity. Sure my words will live on after I’m gone, or at least I hope so.  And I pray they have an eternal impact on the ones who read them. Ultimately, that’s in God’s hands.

If you can relate to life getting in the way of art of anything in your life, you'd love the book, Donuts & Detours.

Check out Donuts And Detours on Amazon

Casey Anthony

Jul17
Reading Time: 3 minutes

I did not watch the trial for Casey Anthony. I don’t have TV and don’t like getting sucked into all the drama surrounding legal cases like this. Even with all that – I still heard bits and pieces and knew the exact moment when the verdict had been handed down by the jury.

What has surprised me (although it shouldn’t, I’ve been around long enough) is the amount of vitriol that has been spewed forth on social networking. Casey Anthony has become the poster child for “evil personified.”  Even jurors, who have sacrificially given of their time to serve for this case, have received death threats. They showed up and they did their jobs. They did not say Casey Anthony was innocent. They came to the conclusion that there was not enough evidence to commit her to a death sentence. Justice did its job, even if we disagree with the outcome.

Casey Anthony has to face a higher judge. She will face, someday, the One from whom no one can hide truth. She will have to watch all that happened and it will be evident where true guilt lies and what her crimes really are.  I cannot judge what I do not know or have incontrovertible evidence of. Neither can you. The  case has left many with unanswered questions although some would like to assume they already know the answers. The fact is – only God and Casey REALLY know what happened to Caylee.

It is interesting that in a society that regularly kills babies before they are born, would get so worked up over the death of one child. Accidental or murder, she is gone and safe from further harm. I trust that God has her in His tender care and she does not suffer. Maybe she was saved from something far worse than eternity in His presence? We will never know. She is gone, she is safe.  Our anger and rage should be against the crimes that are perpetrated every hour of every day to kill babies in this country, for the sake of convenience and a woman’s rights. If a woman has a right to kill a child at 8 months gestation, then why is a two-year old different?   I am pro-life. I believe life is sacred from conception to the grave. But the inconsistency in our culture floors me.  All this anger directed at one woman and a jury – when we have a  President, a Supreme Court and doctors around this nation who support killing children?  Doesn’t  the cognitive dissonance of that irritate you?

So, in many ways, I feel sorry for Casey Anthony. At twenty-five years of age, she is an attractive young woman who has been found tried by a fickle society and has lost any chance of a “normal” life in this world because of the notoriety of this case and the high emotions that have been stoked by the media. While freedom from a death penalty, and getting out jail is certainly a bonus for her – what does  she have the freedom to do? She can’t get a job at Wal-mart. Where could she work to support herself and pay all her legal costs? She could write a book, true, but she will still lack the freedom to go to McDonald’s  or Starbucks to enjoy time with a friend. Have any friends even stood by her through this? She has lost closeness with her parents. Who will support her other than her attorneys who get paid to help?

Casey is one of many people in this world who walk around wearing “GUILTY” stamped across their chests. And yet – before God we are ALL guilty of sin, aren’t we? Without repentance and the saving work of Jesus Christ on the cross, and His resurrection, what hope do any of us have of freedom and joy and “life?”

As a Christian, my heart goes out to Casey. God has placed her on my heart and I pray for her:  For her heart, for His plan for her future, and that she will be open to what He may choose to do in and through her life if she chooses to accept his “get out of jail free” card. Without God’s mercy on any of our souls,  we all are under a death penalty with the ultimate destination being hell. No matter what the crime, Casey Anthony was created in the image of God. Whether she acknowledges Him or not, He loves her and desires a relationship with her.  She needs our prayers, not our condemnation.  May God have mercy on our souls for presuming we can do God’s job for Him now that human justice has been meted out. May God have mercy on Casey Anthony’s soul as she steps into her uncertain future. May God have mercy on our nation for our inconsistent views on the value of human life.