Tag Archive | slander

Author Confessions: Are Some Sins Worse Than Others?

Apr28
Reading Time: 7 minutes

Author Confessions: Are Some Sins Worse Than Others?

We often elevate certain sins as worse than others, even in the church. Now realize, nothing I’m saying here is to condemn anyone who struggles with issues. We all sin in some way, even if in our thoughts. I’m not exempt from that as much as I’d like to be as a follower of Christ. Even in my best efforts to honor Him I fall short on a daily basis, often without even realizing it.

In Christian fiction we try to not elevate any sin as acceptable. For instance, if a person drinks alcohol to excess, we highlight the negative consequences. My Gothic Regency novels have a statement at the beginning about how some of the drinking mentioned in the story, was a cultural thing and not intended to promote drinking or drunkenness. It was a fine line to be historically correct while not leading someone else into sin. “Well, if Marcus can drink than so can I, after all Susan M. Baganz put it in her novel. (The Virtuous Viscount).

When I started writing about dangerous emotions, I started with anger, because a pastor had preached about how it was sin. I disagree. You can check that out here: Author Confessions: The Dangerous Emotion of Anger.

The reality is, when God created the world, everything was good. There was no sin. God put Adam in headship over Eve, and that was good. Marriage was good. Nakedness was good. Sex was good. Emotions were good. Even mosqitoes were good. The fall corrupted everything, all of creation was impacted. Blood was shed and now we needed to cover our nakedness. Imagine on the Ark, all the animals. They were fed vegitation, not meat. Lions didn’t eat meat back then. All creation was originally designed for a vegitarian diet. After the flood, we were able to eat meat. Animal’s hunted, killed, and consumed prey. I’m not advocating for a vegitarian diet, just stating a biblically accurate historical fact.

Obviously killing animals for sacrifice happened before the flood as did killing other people (Cain and Abel). But no one ate meat until after the floods receded.

I digress but I think it’s important. Sin took everything wonderful and corrupted it. Everything is impacted and as generations go on, we see increases in genetic disorders, and chronic illnesses that were not as prevalent in previous generations. Now some of that might be due to environmental factors, and the food we consume, true, but still, it just shows that things move to disorganization and diease. The Second Law of Thermodynamics states that everything devolves. Now some state thht this isn’t true because the universe is not a closed system (required by that scientific law), however, there has never been any new  information added to our DNA added through natural processes, and our genetic code is devolving not evolving, hence, more physical disabilties. This occurs throughout creation, not just in human beings.

In essesence, sin impacts everything. Not just in our thoughts and behaviors, but everything from our physical well-being to weather.

If sin impacts everything, why do we consider some sinful actions worse than others? Why would a pastor condemn anger, but not addiction to caffiene? (We do serve coffee in our cafe at church). I have one friend who smokes occassionally and drinks occassionally. Her perspective is “I do not want anything like that to control me.” My husband doesn’t drink alcohol because “No one starts drinking planning to become an alcoholic.” While that is true, that does not mean people who drink (even Jesus drank wine in the Bible) are sinners. Scripture states that drinking alcoholic beverages is fine and can be beneficial in moderation. Drunkneess, however, is sin.

Moderation is not something Americans do well at. We are more of a culture of excess.

We could state that obesity is sin–but obesity can have many causes and perhaps only one of them is sin. When I was pregnant I could gain 10 lbs in two weeks without changing my diet. I’ve had Hashimoto’s Thyroiditis and it didn’t matter if my thyroid was high or low, I was tired (not lazy) and gained weight, without changing diet. The problem is, although medical issues can cause weight gain, once those core issues are resolved, doesn’t mean the body lets go of all that fat. There are many other causes for weight gain than overindulgance in food. Saying that, however, does not mean that we should just eat whatever we want, just because we can. I’m guilty of not always making wise choices with food.

Our society has approved of things Scripture clearly states as sin: homosexuality, murder (including abortion), slandar, lies, wife-beating, drugs, drinking, buying favors, injustice. Now, let’s make a distinction with homosexuality as an example. One can have urges and desires and not act on those. It is the act of homosexuality that God condemns. So we can love and embrace a person who struggles with this issue without condoning a behavior.

Why do we elevate some sins over another? Suspected murders are raising money and villifying the person murdered. Lies are whipped up to convict people who don’t agree with a person’s political views even while committing the sins they are trying to charge someone else with. (Isn’t that called gaslighting?)

While I am all for justice, we have seen that perverted as sin impacts humans and their judgement. We all have our biases when it comes to everything, don’t we? How often do we evaluate those in light of Scripture?

Thinking about killing someone is the same as doing the act according to Scripture. Jesus was, as I have said, the first and greatest cognitive behavioral therapist. Thoughts, words, and actions come from our heart and what we dwell on in our minds. They are intimately connected. In many issues, the worst of sin is in our thoughts and minds.

Matthew 5:28: “But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart.”

Matthew 15:19: “…out of the heart come evil thoughts—murder, adultery, sexual immorality, theft, false testimony, slander.”

Matthew 22:37: “Jesus replied: ‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’”

Mark 7:20-22: He [Jesus] went on: “What comes out of a person is what defiles them. For it is from within, out of a person’s heart, that evil thoughts come—sexual immorality, theft, murder, adultery, greed, malice, deceit, lewdness, envy, slander, arrogance and folly.

Luke 6:25: “A good man brings good things out of the good stored up in his heart, and an evil man brings evil things out of the evil stored up in his heart. For the mouth speaks what the heart is full of.”

Some religions focus on big sins, i.e. murder, abortion, sex outside of marriage (adultary and fornication), homosexuality. Some make rules that have nothing to do with sin but they treat it as such: girls must have long hair and wear skirts or dresses, men must have short hair, no makeup, no listening to secular music. No going to movies or having friends who are not of the same religious sect as you are. These are all surface issues though, aren’t they? By the way, the Pharisees did this as well. Some of those sins have negative real life consequences that are more obvious. Other, “lesser” sins can just as equally scar the soul but never be seen or called out.

All sins are equally bad at the foot of the cross.

We need to be careful to judge the sin of others. Judging is another topic. A huge one and not part of today’s post.

The reality is, while we all have a sin problem, and sin contaminates everything in this world, including our thinking and our hearts, we need to be careful and evaluate ourselves before pointing out the sins of others. I have sins I am aware of, battles that go on in my mind. Some of them I verbalize to a therapist or a close friend or two, only those who love and follow Jesus. Otherwise they would not understand. See, I can mistakenly condemn myself for things that are not even sin.

Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind, and with all your strength.

(Matthew 22:37, Mark 12:30 also Luke 10:27 but in a different order).

All of those start with the heart. Our sin is ultimately an internal issue for each of us. What we focus on impacts that greatly. Luke 12:34: “For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.”

So, instead of focusing on sin, perhaps we should focus on our treasure, Jesus Christ. It is only through the power of the Holy Spirit that we are able to transform any of those areas of ourselves impacted by sin: heart, mind, soul, and strength. Our behaviors flow out of that, whether good or bad. We cannot do this on our own strength. When we are focusing on loving God, and seeking Him for His active Presence in our lives, and not what He can give us or what prayers He can answer, then we have the ability to battle our sin and become transformed more and more into the likeness of Christ. Thankfully, when we submit our lives to Christ, and accept His perfect sacrifice on the cross, then we are seen by God as pure and holy as Christ is, even though on this side of Heaven we will still battle sin. We don’t do it alone.

I’m not saying we cannot talk about sin and what God calls sin in the Old and New Testaments. We should. An invisible standard isn’t a help to anyone. Even children need to know where the boundaries are. When God calls something sin it was because He is protecting us. It’s is funny to me how people will get all bent out of shape about divorce (another topic perhaps for another time) but find murder in times of war acceptable. Isn’t murder also sin? Yet King David went to war, but first killed Goliath for mocking God and demeaning His people. Jesus even said divorce was acceptable because hearts are hard. Jesus did not elevate marriage as an idol to be worshipped at the expense of the life and well-being of a wife or husband who is being verbally, physically, or emotionally abused or abandoned by a spouse whose heart is hard. (Check out this article for more). In contrast, adultery by as spouse doesn’t always mean divorce should be the go-to solution.

Why are some sins worse than others? Because it is easier to call out the things we see, the outward behaviors, in others, than it is to deal with the true issue of our own hearts. I’m not going to ask you to expose your own sins here on my blog (you won’t anyway) but maybe it’s time to take stock and spend time in His Word and savor the treasure we have in Jesus so we can be better equipped to battle the sins in our heart.

Author Confessions: Limits to Freedom of Speech

Jul1
Reading Time: 6 minutes

Author Confessions: Limits to Freedom of Speech

As we head into another United States of America Independence Day I was pondering freedom. We have many freedoms in the USA and one of them is freedom of speech. However, there are limitations to this, especially in the Christian publishing industry.

Universal Limitations

  • Lyrics. Not just anything can go on the printed page. Some are universal for all publishing. For instance, I cannot print lyrics from a song without permission from that songwriter and the music publisher. The exception is if it is public domain. That means the origin of the song has to be at least 95 to 120 years and no one owns the intellectual property rights. Most old hymns and Christmas carols fall into this category. However, if one is writing contemporary fiction newer songs cannot be referenced via lyrics in the narrative of a book, not even if you are giving credit. This becomes a legal issue that one has to be careful about.
  • Slander. One has to be very careful about writing about real people and telling real stories. Unless permission is granted the author and publisher could be liable for charges of slander if someone mentioned in a book feels that their reputation is ruined or declares that the words written by him or her are not true. That’s a tricky road to walk because we all have our own interpretation of events that have happened in our lives. But what if my perception of events is not viewed the same way by someone who has offended me? Unless there is a decided legal case which convicts someone of a specific crime, any thing else could be suspect. This is what happened when Amber Heard wrote an article stating she was the victim of abuse. While she never named her ex-husband, Johnny Depp, most people understood that was who she was talking about and he lost work due to that. The court found that she was liable for slander. Freedom of speech did not protect her from saying negative things even though she didn’t even mention his name. I’ve read some books where it was easy to find the name of the person being talked about and I often wondered if that wouldn’t have opened up the author (and publisher) to charges of slander, even if the statements were true. In one case, I discovered the person written about was a public figure (both were) and had moved to a new market and when the book  released went on a drinking binge costing him public humiliation and losing his job. Ouch. This book was written by a Christian. While much of that autobiography was instructive and helpful to me as a reader, there was a cringe factor in how it exposed her ex-husband. This is often why I’ve suggested to some that writing their story, heavily veiled, in fiction, might be safer.

Christian Limitations

The Christian market has more unique limitations that involve not including foul language, no disparaging remarks about God, no drinking or drug use portrayed positively and without consequences, no sex outside of marriage and definitely no sexual encounter described in detail on the page. Any evil act needs to be seen as such so there is no glorification of murder, abuse, theft, lying etc. This is what makes Christian fiction “clean” for the reader.

When I stared writing I wanted to have books that I wouldn’t be afraid of my children picking up. A creative writer can tell a great story without explicit sin. A great story shouldn’t need a detailed sex-scene because that only titillates the reader and could lead them into sin.

Christian publishing houses might have further restrictions on what they will or will not allow and the author needs to heed those limitations or he or she won’t be published.

Liability

It is difficult for writers to be insured to protect against liability. Most authors don’t carry insurance for this because we don’t make enough to cover the expense. That’s just the brutal truth. There are few companies that even offer this. We often want to share personal stories and write about hard truths but we need to be careful to not be so specific that we could be accused of slander. Even using the name of a company in our book, or a restaurant could be a problem. Many of us do put stuff in there, and as long as it is used in a positive light, it shouldn’t be an issue.

Off the Page

Even outside of the books themselves there are things writers are not to discuss. We are not to tell others about our contracts (at least not publicly on social media) or issues we might be having with a publisher or agent. Most of those things need to be dealt with privately. Now if there is a publisher doing horrible things than giving warning to others against that publisher/agent/editor/author might be necessary but not in a public way lest it be considered slander. For instance, if someone asks publicly about a particular publisher or editor, anyone who has a negative view would be better served to privately share that information.

Organizers of conferences will share amongst themselves if they come across unethical actions by publishers, agents, editors, or authors, as a way to protect the conferees. The attendees are not informed of those who have done wrong, at least not publicly. The only exception might be if someone were to do something that became public. Examples might be: inappropriate touching, sexual immorality, illegal activities, or something like that might become known and published in a local paper, or even a market publishing magazine. Once it is public then it is no longer private. Actions might also include the author losing his reputation, his books might be pulled by the publisher, and he or she will be persona-non-grata at conferences. Not that there couldn’t be restoration and forgiveness. God does forgive sin! We are to forgive. But oftentimes there needs to be repentance and possibly space for healing before that individual might be allowed to serve in any of those capacities again.

There have even been instances, in Christian publishing, where a well-known personality plagiarized an entire work of fiction by another lesser-known Christian author. How painful and wrong! I hope she was able to get justice as she probably didn’t have a ton of financial resources to fight for her rights.

This is no different than in the church itself. The Christian publishing community is small and we are still the body of Christ and maybe there isn’t a denomination ruling over most of us, there is a desire to honor God in all we do, on and off the pages of any book.

This really is a desire to heed Matthew 18: 15-17. “If your brother sins against you, go and rebuke him in private. If he listens to you, you have won your brother. But if he won’t listen, take one or two more with you, so that by the testimony of two or three witnesses every fact may be established. If he pays no attention to them, tell the church. But if he doesn’t pay attention even to the church, let him be like an unbeliever and a tax collector to you.” (HCSB)

Freedom In Christ

As Christians, we face limitations are found in our daily lives. Most are designed for our good! Not rules and regulations, although some might boil the Christian life to that. Rather as we seek to honor God with our gifts and the calling to write, we want to also honor the boundaries He provides. Those same boundaries are reflected in the books we write (or should be if we are to be called “Christian”). This isn’t done out of a need to earn approval but out of a personal relationship with Jesus. Out of the grace He has bestowed on us to be children of God, and in order to not grieve the Holy Spirit that indwells us as believers, we seek to write in a way that would bring glory and honor to HIM first, and hopefully uplift and entertain the reader with truths found in Scripture, whether explicitly stated or not.

True Freedom

As we celebrate our freedoms as a nation, there are still limits to freedom of speech, even outside of the Christian publishing industry. Yet we do have so many freedoms. We can disagree politically, or even have discussions about different theological ideologies we might not agree on. Hopefully all we do as those who follow Christ will also be tempered with the freedom we have to share the sweet truths of His word, because He is the ultimate hope and foundation that this nation was founded on.

 

 

Time is Precious

Dec25
Reading Time: 4 minutes

We sing songs about this being the most wonderful time of the year. Sure there is a sense of awe, and the lights are beautiful but for many there is another empty chair at the table, or someone they can no longer place a call to and say “Merry Christmas.”

Christmas isn’t always merry. I’m sure that first Christmas wasn’t even quiet. We sing Silent Night on Christmas Eve, but let’s be real. Giving birth, no matter where you do it, is rarely quiet, and you hope it won’t be when a baby is born. We want to hear that cry. Imagine that, the Savior was born and the first sound out of his mouth was a cry. The Word of God had no words.

And today, there might be tears for some people. Loneliness will flare as they miss someone they love. Whether that person passed away, or perhaps has chosen to hold on to anger and resentment and refuse to engage in a relationship.

Losing people we love makes you stop and take notice, doesn’t it? Every day is a gift and we need to cherish the moments we have with the people we love. For those who are alive and refusing a relationship with a family member will find that letting resentment fester will only breed regret. When death comes, they will never have the opportunity to resolve the issues that seperated them from someone they currently despise. No more opportunity to forgive and extend that forgiveness.

There are people I know who have cut themselves off, believed lies, and instead of getting the truth or making the time, will not have any contact with someone biologically close. In many ways this is a blessing. The toxicity of those individuals would make having any kind of relationship more of a “walking on eggshells” type of thing. But family is family and sometimes you set boundaries on just how much time and effort you put into those relationships. To cut someone off without at least trying to let them know why, or what they have done, does not help anyone. It is not love.

Families are messy. Every person growing up in a home has grown up in a different family. Every interaction or perspective is only from their point of view and therefore skewed, but often we think that our “truth” is the only right perspective.

I took a trip with my mom in October to visit The Creation Museum and The Ark Encounter in Kentucky. A one day drive there, a day at each place, and a day’s drive back. We have never spent that much time together one-on-one and it was good. We laughed and we also shared deeply personal stuff–things we’d never told each other before. I learned things about her childhood I didn’t know and it helped me understand her better. She understood a little more some of my choices and wounds. I will treasure that memory of our time together and am intentional to be more in touch than I was when I was younger.

Other members of our famly won’t call, or text, much less have a conversation. I feel sorry for them because they don’t know what they are missing. Someday, reality will hit hard and hopefully they will understand the truth they refused to believe about the family member they’ve spurned. I’m being cryptic here to protect people. Someday, the spurned person will die. It happens to all of us. What then? Will they come to the funeral and spill their vitriol there? Or will they have an awakening at some point and face regrets over never taking the time to understand the choices that other person made–or the woundedness that was lying under the surface? I don’t envy them the grief that will be compounded when they realize the wrong they’ve done by their actions–or lack thereof.

Relationships take effort, time, and humility. Selfishness destroys the most precious gifts God gives us–each other.

Adult children should grow up to be adults, and relate to their parents as such, while showing them the honor due their role. Sure, respect is something a person earns but everyone should have at least a core respect for the dignity an individual created in the image of God. That includes all of us.  God does take notice of those who fail to do this. In a way there’s a double curse on those children who spurn a parent or are even outright hostile to them without just cause. Especially those children who claim to love Jesus.

This isn’t a feel good post on this Christmas Day, but I wanted to honor those who are hurting. Those who feel the deep wounds of rejection by someone on this day of all days. Or who are missing someone who they lost to death.

God sees. He is Emmanuel, God with us. Even if others are not, He promises to never leave us. Hold tight to Him and like our home, we will wait for Him to vindicate those who have been slandered and spurned. We pray for repentance and reconciliation, but realize we may never see it because those individuals have free will. Time is precious and fleeting and we only pray they realize that, and turn from their bitterness. Before it’s too late.

If you are hurting this Christmas, I hope it is a comfort to realize you’re not alone in struggling with the season. Make the most of the wonderful grace and provision God has given us even if there is hurt lingering around the Christmas tree. Celebrate the One who came to free us from the wages of sin and death and anticipate the day when there will be no more tears and grieving.

I pray you have a blessed Christmas, and treasure those relationships you do have. Time is precious. Make the most of those moments.