Tag Archive | sin

Author Confessions: The Dangerous Moral High Ground

Feb24
Reading Time: 5 minutes

Author Confessions: The Dangerous Moral High Ground

My husband and I have been slowly watching Midsummer Murders and it has become a competition to guess correctly just “who did it.” At the end of Season 15, Episode 1 “The Dagger Club,” I was struck by a line uttered toward the end when the character Audrey Braylesford, played by Una Stubbs, justifies a decision because, “The view is better from the moral high ground.” That might not be an exact quote but it’s close.

At first I thought, “Wow, how generous for her not take what was rightfully hers, even if it was won by nefarious means.” The more I mull it over I think many of us struggle because we want to be on the moral high ground. It sounds like a great position to be in, doesn’t it?

We see this in politics especially, not just the politicians but those who support them. Each side thinks they are morally superior for taking the stance they do. Sometimes those positions are against the other side based on faulty facts or misguided perceived virtues. They would look at my position from the same angle, I’m sure.

I’m not going to go into any of that specifically because I do not want to start a war here. While I have some firmly head beliefs, I can understand why someone would hold an opposing view given that they may not have the same starting point or value system. That’s understandable. It also means that I need to own that I could be wrong and need to be open to looking at a subject from all angles.

Claiming the moral high ground is dangerous because it elevates us above others. It gives us importance. It is a superiority stance that happens not only in politics, but in divorces, church splits, and in the dissolving of friendships. It can be used as a weapon to get others to obey and agree with a plan of action or position.

The moral high ground, while it seems benign, is quite dangerous. Personally I don’t like heights. Not heights particularly, but the fall from them scares me, and that should be the case here as well. The moral high ground sets someone up for a fall. Why?

Underlying the moral high ground is pride. The snake in the garden weilded the moral high ground over Adam and Eve, tricking them into disobeying God’s one boundary on paradise: Not to eat from the fruit of the Tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil. The end result was rampant sin that impacted all of creation as well as the first death among many.

There is danger in the moral high ground because it sounds so good, but it can be filled with subtle lies that deceive. Once exposed, it can lead to devestation. A fall.

The dangerous moral high ground has no positive attributes. It might feel satisfying to claim that hill. Dying on it might not be quite what one expects.

What is the alternative? A posture of humility. I may seek to live a moral life but I recognize that I myself am often a hypocrite, even if only in my thoughts. I might say or even realize that one course of action or piece of knowledge is beneficial and then do the opposite.

Pride can lead to hedonism. Making one’s own happiness and success an idol to pursue. It is worship of self in many cases. Taking the moral high ground is putting one’s needs above everyone else’s. The moral high ground can be used as a weapon, even subtly.

This is opposite of a relationship with Jesus. He met the woman at the well, and didn’t condemn her. He could have taken the moral high ground. He is after all King of kings and LORD of lords. He didn’t. He chose compassion and went to the heart of her deepest need. He didn’t give her any advice she didn’t ask for and never addressed her sin other than stating that He knew the details, but again without condemnation. At least I assume that to be true since she eagerly told everyone about Him. Obviously, tone of voice is not discernable in the Bible. Same was true with the adulterous woman brought to be stoned. In John 8:7, Jesus tells all these men, “The one without sin among you should be the first to throw a stone at her.” He could have asked where the man was whom she was in bed with. According to the law both were to be stoned. He didn’t. The men disappeared. Jesus asked her if anyone had condemned her. No one. “Neither do I condemn you,” said Jesus. “Go, and from now on do not sin anymore.” Compassion instead of condemnation. Quite the revelation, isn’t it? 

Where do you cling to the moral high ground? I think the reason that line in a television show struck me is because it was unexpected from that character. A well-written line is also something I admire as an author. However, I’m kind of glad it stuck with me so I could take a closer look at it.

The moral high ground would be the equivalent of the “high places” mentioned over 60 times in the Old Testament of the Bible. It is an idol and detracts from worshipping God. My faith is not a strict line of rules and regulations as it was in the Old Testament. It is a relationship. My decisions and choices should be the result not of how great I am but how much I desperately need Jesus. Clinging to the moral high ground must grieve the Holy Spirit since we as humans can make our positions more important than our relationships, especially the one we have with Jesus.

I can still have my convictions but I need to recognize that some of them are preferences.

The question is this. Is it a salvation issue? If not then it doesn’t matter what clothing you wear to church, or how long or short your hair is for a man or woman, or what style of worship music you listen to. It is amazing how we can cling to minor issues and make them bigger than they really are. We are to look beyond the outward appearance just as Samuel did when choosing, at God’s leading, David to be the king of Israel. Or Jesus at the well with the Samaritan woman. Her past sins did not define her value as someone who Jesus loved and cared about because she was made in the image of God.

The ground is level at the foot of the cross. Jesus died on a hill but everyone standing under that cross was on level ground as we are all sinful from birth. His truly perfect moral high ground came a deadly cost to save us from our sins. Everyone around us is there figuratively at the foot of that cross and if we are too high up our own moral hill, we cannot lead them there as our fellow human beings. It is fine to have a firmly held conviction, especially if that’s what God leads you to, and it doesn’t violate Scripture. It is not good to expect everyone to agree with it.

What do you think about the moral high ground? Has any of this struck a cord? I suspect it is something we all struggle with at some level and need to repent of. I pray God can keep us from the dangerous moral high ground and focus instead on Jesus so that His Holy Spirit can freely lead and guide us on the unique path He has for each of us.

 

 

Author Confessions: The Dangerous Emotion of Guilt

Jan20
Reading Time: 4 minutes

Author Confessions: The Dangerous Emotion of Guilt

Are you seeing a trend here yet with these emotions? Any emotion can become a negative in some way when taken to an extreme and not brought under the truths of Scripture. My assertion that Jesus is the first cognitive behavioral therapist still stands. Long before this was coined as a psychological theory Scripture is replete with this.

Let’s take guilt. At first, I didn’t see this as such a dangerous emotion, but hear me out.

On the surface, when a person’s mind is working well, guilt is the emotion that tells us that we have sinned. Psalm 32:5 states: “I acknowledged my sin to You, And I did not hide my guilt; I said, “I will confess my wrongdoings to the Lord”; And You forgave the guilt of my sin.”

God has built into us the ability to recognize we have done wrong. We feel bad. That’s the uncomfortable part about this emotion but it is truly important, because when we feel bad and realize we did something wrong, we apologize to God (and maybe an offended party) and receive His forgiveness when we have accepted the free gift of salvation from our sin at the cross where Jesus died. I’m not going to go into the theology of sin here but that is usually when we feel guilt—when we have sinned or perhaps accidently hurt someone’s feelings. Sin isn’t always intentional or done willfully. Often, we sin without directly thinking about it.

Guilt might show up as cognitive dissonance. We say one thing and do another and there is mental and even emotional conflict that begs to be resolved. To have integrity we mentally need to live out what we say and believe.

So how does guilt become dangerous? There are four ways that I can think of:

  • When we experience guilt when we didn’t do anything wrong. We cannot take on the burden of someone else’s choices. That is enmeshment and damaging to self and relationships.
  • When we hold on to guilt even after confessing and apologizing for it. Remember yes, continually beat yourself up? Not good.
    • Now restitution might remind you of your guilt, but it doesn’t need to be carried forever. This might be harder to do depending on the sin.
    • Addictions, adultery, murder, or even an accidental death you might have been involved in, can be difficult to recover from and even create trauma that needs professional help to resolve.
    • Burying guilt can create health problems as well.
    • God forgives us, so we should walk in that freedom. Not as perfect or as if it never happened, but as a person who grows through this.
  • Lying and shifting blame for things.
    • Some avoid guilt by blaming others for anything that goes wrong. This is a cognitive issue and that person is essentially lying to themselves to protect them from the truth that they failed in some way.
    • They cannot grow or improve if they refuse to acknowledge their own guilt.
  • When a person never experiences the emotion of guilt and have no awareness of their wrongdoing.
    • This might be due to a variety of mental illnesses, the most notable: a sociopath or someone with antisocial, borderline, or narcissistic personality disorder or possibly some other brain dysfunction.
    • These people are not always dangerous, but they may not be safe people to be around often. They might parrot an apology, but they won’t truly believe they erred and won’t experience any guilt. Behavior won’t change.
    • This is an issue that cannot be resolved through medicine or even great psychotherapy in most instances.
    • The sad effect of rampant sin in our world impacts the way our brains develop and with the toxic environments (emotionally, relationally and physically) that someone might have grown up in.
    • Are these people irredeemable? No. I wouldn’t put it past God to do a mighty work and heal that numbed part of the brain and thinking process, but I also wouldn’t assume it will happen.

Guilt is good even if it feels bad to experience it. The great thing for most people is that when we acknowledge our guilt and seek forgiveness, God is willing to give that to us (even if another human being might not). Acknowledging you have an issue if the sin is a persistent issue, can help a person start to see patterns for that sin so that it might be broken. Anything else can pile guilt on guilt (sin upon sin) which can only be damaging to the body, mind, and soul.

A scripture to cling to is Romans 8:1: Therefore, there is now no condemnation at all for those who are in Christ Jesus.

On a side note but important: When we hold on to sin and refuse to confess our guilt and repent (change our ways) we are, according to Scripture, grieving the Holy Spirit. Eph 4:30-32  Do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, by whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. Be kind to one another, tender-hearted, forgiving each other, just as God in Christ also has forgiven you. Sin and unrepentance grieve God. Guilt is the emotion He gives to help us recognize we’ve wronged not only others, but a Holy God.

Daily confession (in prayer) can be a good way to acknowledge and own our failures before God to move forward with a clean slate by His grace. Something I don’t do often enough. The dangerous emotion of guilt can be tricky. How do you deal with guilt?

Next week: The Dangerous Emotion of Regret.

Author Confessions: The Dangerous Emotion of Inadequacy (aka Imposter Syndrome)

Jan13
Reading Time: 4 minutes

Author Confessions: The Dangerous Emotion of Inadequacy (aka Imposter Syndrome)

I hadn’t heard of this until relatively recently. Imposter Syndrome is in reality feeling inadequate but it applies more to professional work. It is where someone feels like a fraud. Not good enough. Not worthy. Inadequate.

We’ve all experienced feelings of inadequacy at some point or another. Starting a new job, or perhaps that first job right out of college or in an internship. I felt totally inadequate to work as a therapist. I never got licensed so I never called myself a psychotherapist although I have counseled people and had the training. Maybe Imposter Syndrome kept me from pursuing that further? When I did counseling in my job it was while I was under supervision and getting my hours so I didn’t need the “title” or license to do the job. When I did it in women’s ministry, I definitely felt inadequate given the state of my private life.

When I served in leadership at my church and taught classes I experienced inadequacy for the same reason but since I was honest about my inadquacies and was encouraged to do the work, I soon lost that sense of being an imposter.

When  I first taught classes at writer’s conferences I was barely published myself so I was learning a lot as I prepared to teach. I learned and then was qualified to share that with others and since I was being paid I didn’t feel too inadequate.

Sometimes inadequacy is a minimalization of the gifts God has given and perhaps if there is a pendulum swing between that and prideful arrogance, then I think inadequacy is the lesser of the dangerous emotions and I probably will address that at some point.

If we are trusting God and following Him we are assured He will equip us for every task, even if we don’t feel adequate to handle it.  The apostle Paul experienced this. In 1 Corinthians 15:9-10 says: For I am the least of the apostles,  who am not fit to be called and apostle, because I persecuted the church of God. But by  the grace of God I am what I am, and His grace toward me did not prove vain…”

Inadequacy can resolve to humility when we recognize that we are never perfect enough for the work God has called us to. Whether it is writing, preaching, counseling, teaching, parenting, running a business or any other job or task. When we lean on Him and are honest about what we don’t know, or that we are not an expert, we can avoid feeling like an imposter. If God calls us, then to stay mired in an emotion of inadequacy is denying the power of the Holy Spirit to use us as He sees fit.

Now that doesn’t mean there are not imposters out there. There are. I struggle to trust those who claim expertise in any area since that tends to exclude a teachable spirit which is essential to our lives. Not that I want to be corrected, that is never fun, but if I want to be good at anything God leads me to, then I should be open to correction and growing in that area. God doesn’t call us to a task and then expect us to not actually work at that task. He won’t do it for us but He will help us and equip us as we go.

This is why someone who has just come to Christ can zealously share the gospel without even having read the entire Bible much less attended seminary. He has enough for the task ahead. Even aspiring writers can encourage other writers with things they have learned.

I’ve taught on leadership but don’t claim to be a great leader or know everything about the subject. I’ve taught theology classes but don’t know everything there is to know about God and the study of God. I’ve taught on writing and editing but I still have so much to learn and have not mastered everything. In everything I’ve always admitted up front that I am fallible. I don’t know it all, but hopefully I know enough to help someone else on the path to learning about the subject. Now that doesn’t mean I won’t teach what I know with authority and confidence but doing that I don’t experience emotions of anxiety and inadequacy, nor pride. I can do the job God gave me to do.

A few years back I struggled with whether I would write again after a brutal tangle with an editor. That book finally released and I love it but hate to pick it up to read it because of the trauma of that interaction and the battles that ensued to that particular book published. The dangerous emotion of inadquacy almost had me quitting it all. I persevered, got the book published and have gone on to write others since then. I will admit there is a greater fear of failure now than there had been previously.

Have you ever experienced inadequacy or imposter syndrome? How have you dealt with that?

 

Author Confessions: The Dangerous Emotion of Fear

Dec30
Reading Time: 5 minutes

Author Confessions: The Dangerous Emotion of Fear

Yes, I know it’s the end of the year so why couldn’t I write something more uplifting than about fear? It’s what was on my mind.  Why is fear dangerous?

When I was in my undergraduate classes, I had a professor challenge us to spend a few days being paranoid about everything. This wasn’t an assignment we turned in. The next week at class he asked us how it went. I informed him that I refused to do the assignment.

“Why?” he asked.

“Because I believe that if I start trying to look at the world that way it could easily become a habit—one I do not want.”

He nodded his head and acknowledged that my reason was wise.

I used to work with adults who suffered from chronic paranoid schizophrenia. Some heard voices that weren’t there. Most of the time these voices were mean and inspired fear. Living with this kind of illness and the fear that accompanies it, is a hell of it’s own.

Now paranoid schizophrenia is an extreme. Of course, there are various other phobias people can have and some area situational. Fear of heights. Fear of snakes. Fear of flying….

In some cases, those are protective. I have begun to realize I’m not really afraid of heights. I’m afraid of falling from that height. When I realize that and need to fight that fear I can take steps to see that I’m safe. OK. Let’s be honest. Falling isn’t the real problem. It’s the landing.

While schizophrenia is a mental illness with what we can best determine to be a chemical change in the brain that happens under stress, usually in the late teens or early 20’s, it is forgivable when someone suffers from this.

It struck me lately that I battle my own fears. In spite of my noble refusal to act paranoid lest I become fearful defense given to my professor, I have lapsed into that kind of thinking quite unintentionally.

Most of those fears are future oriented. The events haven’t happened. When my husband had surgery recently, we had talked candidly about the “what if’s” beforehand all the while praying that the outcome would be good.

I didn’t sleep well the night before. He came through surgery fine, and it wasn’t until we were heading home that I wanted to cry. Sure, I hadn’t had enough sleep so that certainly was a factor.. It had snowed and the roads were slick, another stressor. I was also recovering from my own surgery. However, at the core of those tears was the realization that I had been more fearful of losing my husband than I had thought. I was so grateful he had come through that so well.

Matthew 6:34 says: “…don’t worry about tomorrow, because tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.” This is after reminding the reader that God is in control of all the things we tend to worry about: food, shelter, clothing, and even our lives.

The phrase “fear not” appears in the Bible 170 times.

1 Peter 5:6-7 says: “Humble yourselves, therefore, under the mighty hand of God, so that He may exalt you at the proper time, casting all your care on Him, because He cares about you.”

Philippians 4:6 says: “Don’t worry about anything, but in everything, through prayer and petition with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses every thought, will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus. Finally brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable—if there is any moral excellence and if there is any praise—dwell on these things.”

Notice that Scripture doesn’t just say “don’t worry or don’t be anxious, or do not be afraid,” It gives us a cure. I mentioned in another post that Jesus was the first cognitive behavioral therapist, and this is again what happens. The anxiety we feel, comes from the thoughts we have, and often when we are anxious our thoughts of God are not worthy of Who He is.  2 Timothy 1:7 states: For God has not given us a spirit of fearfulness, but one of power, love, and sound judgment.

Someone reminded me recently that when I am anxious about things in the future, like the plans we have for 2025, it robs me of being present here and now. All my focus is on what might go wrong instead of thinking about what is true right now, today. The good, the honorable, the just, the pure, the lovely, whatever is commendable, moral excellence, anything worthy of praise. And to be grateful.

This gets back to what I started out with. If I focus on all the things that are wrong or scary and think in a paranoid manner, then I will develop a habit. Not quite as serious as a paranoid schizophrenic, but still problematic. When I fail to focus on God, right now, and trust who HE says He is, then I’m slipping into the sin of unbelief.

Isn’t God big enough to help me through if something goes wrong in any of the areas I tend to obsess about in my mind in an unproductive way? I don’t usually spend time thinking about losing my husband because I don’t want to take away from the joy of the moments where he is with me now, making memories, laughing, and living a life of gratitude for the God Who brought us together.

The same applies for other areas where there are going to be choices and changes in 2025. I have little control of how much of that unfolds, yet God is already there. I can put my trust in Him.

Just like some might say that anger or lust are “sins”, which I debunk in previous posts: fear, worry, or anxiety are not either. They are emotions that God has given. In some instances, like a fear of heights, theyccan be helpful to protect us. If they are keeping us from living a full life in Christ however, we might need help to get past those fears that are not logical, or even real.

I’m not shaming anyone who struggles with anxiety. Some of that could be due to a chemical imbalance (like some have with too much coffee!). We all experience them. It’s what we do with them that matters. Being anxious or fearful will not keep you from heaven when we are submitting our lives to Jesus Christ, but those emotions can keep us from experiencing the peace and joy He offers us.

Luke 2:10-11 recalls the moments after Jesus’s birth when shepherds heard the news from angels: “But the angel said to them, “Don’t be afraid, for look, I proclaim to you good news of great joy that will be for all the people: Today a Savior, who is Messiah the Lord, was born for you in the city of David.”

Do not be afraid. Jesus came to the earth to bring us Himself as the punishment for all our sins. After He rose and ascended to heaven He gave us the Holy Spirit to indwell and help us on our journey home to be with the Lord. I want to fully experience that joy, don’t you? Then we can join the angels in singing, “Glory to God in the highest heaven, and peace on earth to people He favors!” The dangerous emotion of fear doesn’t need to be controlling us if we focus on Him.

How do you work through your fears and strive to be present in the everyday moments of life?

Author Confessions: The Dangerous Emotion of Anger

Nov18
Reading Time: 5 minutes

Author Confessions: The Dangerous Emotion of Anger

If you are not aware, I have a Masters degree in Couseling Psychology from Trinity Evangelical Divinity School in Deerfield, IL. I have worked in the field of mental health for several years with chronic mental illness clients on disability as well as served in various leadership capacities at my church in the past. I’ve also been on my own mental health journey (aren’t we all?). So how does that relate to writing? Because as an author I am responsible to be theologically biblical as I tell my stories and there are differing opinions on some key emotional concepts. I’m going to address one here and you can disagree with me if you wish but I’m honestly trying to be three things in this article 1) biblically true, 2) aware of my reader’s emotional wellbeing and 3) be brief. For that reason even though there are several of these emotions…I’ll be dealing with them seperately over a few posts.

I heard a teaching recently that made my blood boil. The preacher said that Jesus got angry and it was righteous anger and that was the only kind of anger that is permissible. In essence, if your anger is righteous, meaning you are angry about something that violates God’s law, then it is acceptable. All other anger is sin and destins you to hell.

For some reason, growing up, I had caught the concept that anger was sin. I won’t go into my family of orgin issues, but needless to say as a new believer at the age of fifteen, this caused some difficulty for me. Jesus was God, but He got angry. In my teenage mind that meant He sinned. This resulted in my stuffing down my feelings of hurt, frustration, and anger which then resulted in a variety of health issues. I didn’t understand that anger was an emotion that was part of the human condition because we were made in the image of God. My mind was blown when I finally grasped that Jesus didn’t sin! Whew!

So maybe you can understand why this teaching from the pulpit stirred my righteous indignation at a teaching that denies the very essence of a key part who God created us to be: emotional. This is a communicable attribute of God. We are created in HIS image and part of that is emotion, including anger.

Anger is mentioned 234 times in Scripture and the word angry is mentioned 44 times (based on Strong’s Concordance). The LORD repeatedly expressed anger towards His children who consistantly disobeyed the rules He set out to protect them. God has emotions. He created us with emotions. Those emotions are neither good nor bad, they just are.

Now let’s look a little closer at anger. Ephesians 4:26a states: Be angry, and yet do not sin. Wait. What? Anger is not a sin? It is only what you do with the anger that can be a sin. 

Let’s unpack the emotion of anger. Anger is often part of a continuum of emotions. Sometimes we are angry but it is really hurt or frustration. Anger can become rage. If you think of it as a continuum and expand the concept, anger encompasses a wider range of emotions, and in and of themselves, not a sin. Now if anger becomes rage and you start insulting someone, wishing them ill, or worse, seeking their destruction, then that is the sin.

In Matthew 5:22 it states: “But I say to you that everyone who is angry with his brother shall be answerable to the court; and whoever says to his brother, ‘You good-for-nothing,’ shall be answerable to the supreme court; and whoever says, ‘You fool,’ shall be guilty enough to go into the fiery hell.”  In this instance the Greek word for anger means to provoke or enrage, or wrath. (Strongs Concordance, 3710). This is a strong anger. Rage. And we all, I hope, can recognize how deadly that can be. There isn’t a term “road rage” without cause.

Let’s go back to Matthew. In this passage, Jesus is speaking against murder, which consists of taking someone’s life and Jesus is taking the action and stating the very thought of that is also sin. Sounds reasonable doesn’t it? Sometimes when we think or feel things strongly, if we don’t confront those thoughts and emotions they can become actions. Jesus is expressing an early version of cognitive behavioral therapy here and going to the root of the issue: our thoughts. Thoughts precede emotion. What we think about something determines our emotions regarding that. Calling someone a derogatory name is also not really anger, it is pride. The person is exalting himself above the other and assuming a superior attitude.  2 Corinthians 10: 5 states: “We are destroying arguments and all arrogance raised against the knowledge of God, and we are taking every thought captive to the obedience of Christ.” Again, another cognitive action because thoughts influence actions, including words.

Who hasn’t struggled with this? We all have have violated the Thou shalt not kill commandment, even in our thoughts. Thankfully, we can repent, change our thinking and by the power of the Holy Spirit, our hearts and emotions as well. Jesus’ death on the cross even covers this sin.

Let’s be honest here. We cannot control what thoughts come into our brain, but we can determine what we do about them. Our brain isn’t always telling us the truth either. We have been fed lies all our lives and some we make up our own. We are to line them up with Scripture and replace those lies with truth.

In summary, anger is not a sin. It is an emotion given to us by God. Anger is a signal to tell us something is wrong. Maybe it comes from hurt, or jealousy, or frustration. We can be angry at ourselves, innanimate objects and, of course, other people. But when we are angry with someone, if it is possible to do so we are to go them and work it out like Matthew 18:15-18 states we should do.

We always need to be discerning about who and what we listen to and evaluate everything against Scripture. However, if confronting the person is not possible, as in this instance, we can talk to God about it, process it without slandering an individual, and pray that God will open this person’s eyes and protect the innocent and less knowledgeble people who heard the message. I am not superior to this preacher by any stretch of the imagination, and I pray God will correct this man by the power of His Spirit. And I will not be listening to his false teaching.

How does this relate to writing? Obviously, my characters experience a range of emotions but I need to be clear where that crosses into sin. Even if I don’t use scripture, I can help a reader understand that our emotions are given to us by God, but we can work to overcome them leading us into sin.

It does grieve me the damage teachings like this does to people. This isn’t the only one. I’ll be dealing with lust next. The dangerous emotion of anger hopefully has been dispelled. Be angry and sin not is a process we all need to work on and with the power of the Holy Spirit we can be victorious. We can feel our emotions, confront the underlying thought, and move past it to freedom.

Author Confessions: We all have Blind Spots

Nov4
Reading Time: 5 minutes

Author Confessions: We all have Blind Spots

When my son was taking his driver’s test, he failed because he forgot to check his blind spots. Funny how technology helps with that now. My newer vehicle will flash a light on my door to let me know a car is coming up on that side. Even with that, if I were going to make a lane change I should still look to make sure there is no one sneaking up on me.

Personally, and as authors, we all have our blind spots. So do our characters.

The Johari Window is a visual way to consider just how open a person you are. We all have secrets and obviously with certain people we will be more open and vulnerable in sharing our inner world. Not everyone is a safe person to do this with  so caution is sometimes warranted, especially in newer relationships.

As you can see on the left there are four areas of our personal life. That which is open and people can see and we are willing to share with others – known you and the other person. The bottom left quadrent is hidden. You know those parts yourself but you haven’t shared them with others. The bottom right, unknown quadrant our inability to see all of our inner self. Of course, God sees and knows all of it whether we chose to be open with Him or not. Nothing is hidden from him. The fourth and final quadrant, the upper right, is the blind area. This is where you don’t know, but others do.

A fun example might be when someone points out you are wearing two different color socks. They saw it but you didn’t realize because you got dressed in the dark. they point out that blind spot to you and as a result the open area expands to the right.

When we are in a close relationship with someone there can be more sharing and the open box can grow as we share the hidden things of our heart with them and they point out our blind spots: errors, quirks, attitudes, mistakes, and maybe even sins or iniquities, the unintentional stuff that might offend someone without our realizing it.

When we are in a relationship that is safe, we can share our treasures, those thoughts, feelings, experiences that matter deepest to us and thus expand the open area. Someone who has been traumatized, might find the open area shrinks as they protect themselves from further abuse.

As an author, my characters need to have these four as well, although sometimes the writer might cue the reader in on the blind or unknown quadrants and forshadow that aha moment when the character is exposed to that new information.

I need safe people in my life to show me my blind spots.

Telling someone they are overweight is typically not helping someone with a blind spot, although I had a friend who revealed to me that she had no idea she had a weight problem before doctors told her she needed to do  something about it. Most people are aware of those kinds of things.

Someone who is angry might drive fast without realizing it. That blind spot might be revealed when they are pulled over and get a ticket.

Most blinds spots should be exposed gently if possible. I’ve done teaching and told people to please let me know privately if they see something offensive in me, so I can grow. In other words, be considerate in how you share my blind spot with me, but also, I’m giving you permission to share because I’m trusting that you will have my best interests at heart.

That’s a pretty bold statement.

Psalm 19:12 says “Who can discern his errors? Acquit me of hidden faults.” God sees it all the blind and unknown parts of us.

Job 13:23, asks: “How many iniquities and sins have I committed? Reveal to me my transgression and sin.”

We cannot grow if the Lord doesn’t show us where we need to grow. The truly hidden parts and the blind spots. Sometimes God uses human beings to help us with this.

Caution

Not every person who tells you about a blind spot or confronts you with what they perceive is sin in your life, is trustworthy or honest. Sometimes people will blame us for their own shortcomings. Other times they tell us things to stop us from God’s plan, possibly out of jealousy.

Response to Hard Criticism/Blind Spots

There are a few things I’ve done when I’ve gotten hard criticism that was something I hadn’t heard before. How can I tell if it’s really a blind spot?

  1. In the moment, I thank them for their feedback. Oh, this is difficult when the punch comes hard at you.
  2. If I’m not sure it’s true, I might ask them for specifics. Give me an example of what I did wrong.
  3. Pray about it.
  4. If I still can’t quite accept that this is true of myself, I might check it with a close friend. I’ve had people attribute things to me that I didn’t believe were true and sometimes a close confidant can shed light on why it might be that way. I didn’t actually do anything wrong, however, it might have been interpreted differently by that person. Sometimes people will assign motives to you that are simply untrue.
  5. If I really have erred and hurt someone via a blind spot, I apologize and ask the Holy Spirit to help me change.

Psalm 139:22-24 states: Search me, God, and know my heart; test me and know my concerns. See if there is any offensive way in me; lead me in the everlasting way. Ultimately any blind spot or perceived iniquities need to be brought to God. If it isn’t true than I can trust that God knows my heart and that is more important than anyone’s opinion. 

We all have blind spots and only someone arrogant or narcissitic will refuse to accept that truth. Trust me. I’ve met some of them. I’d rather let God help me grow by showing me those areas I’m unaware of. I may not know what I don’t know, but He can slowly reveal those things to me and I’m glad He doesn’t overwhelm me with my failings as that would be too much to bear. I’m grateful for a compassionate and loving God who loves me as I am but doesn’t let me stay there, but continues to grow me in  holiness through His Holy Spirit.

As an author, this is helpful as well as I see how soon a character might reveal secrets to another person. This is why the information dump in the first few pages is a poor choice, as the reader wants to get to know the character along with the others in the story and that is a process that takes time, but is worth the effort.

As an editor, when I see something an author is doing that isn’t the best, I assume it’s a blind spot and use it as a teaching moment as some have done for me along the way. Being light and not accusatory goes a long way to soothing the sting of an edit where they did something wrong but were unaware of it. We all have blind spots in our writing, partially because we love our stories so it be hard to be objective.

How about you? Have you been exposed to blind spots? How has that impacted you?

 

Author Confessions: Is It Wrong to Read Inspirational Romance?

Jun24
Reading Time: 3 minutes

Author Confessions: Is It Wrong to Read Inspirational Romance?

Believe it or not there are some churches that would never promote, encourage, or support that I write Christian romances. They don’t even need to read it. They believe that it leads women to unrealistic expectations in marriage or perhaps that the values in the book don’t reflect the more narrow legalistic values that the church proclaims as godly.

Either way, they won’t consider it a good thing, but I do know that some women who are in those churches will read semi-erotic books by secular authors. Wouldn’t you prefer that they read a book that is clean and doesn’t titillate? Aren’t there values in Christian-authored books that transcend the romance part as well?

It was a surprise to my husband, but not to me, when he was telling a pastor he admired about how great my writing is. Yet I know another Christian female author who had sat in that church when that very pastor had condemned the kind of work she was writing out of obedience to God and in a way to honor God with her gifts. Needless to say, she left that church but it was like a slap in the face to her.

Now, before you tell me I’m saying all Christian romance is right to read, hear me out. I have a friend who was in a sex-less, difficult marriage to an unbeliever. She avoided Christian romance novels, and all romance novels. It hurt too much. I would never condemn her for her choice. If God says don’t read it, even if it is fine for most people, then don’t. Obeying God should always be primary, but that doesn’t make it universal. I was in a similar situation and those books held out the truth that there was a standard for men that was more than what I had. Now when I was free to look for that I set my sights higher than I had when I was younger and didn’t believe I deserved that kind of love. I don’t deserve anything to be honest but I believed that there were good and godly men out there and I praise God that He brought me a great guy who loves the Lord and treats me with respect and love. He isn’t perfect, but he’s perfect for me.

Not all Christian books are created equal, whether fiction or non-fiction and we should always be discerning. I’ve seen some exceptionally popular, best-selling books cause great damage in the church and in the lives of individuals who have read them. I’m not going to name book titles. You might disagree with me and select others books you strongly disagree with. If that is true for non-fiction it can be equally true for fiction as well. We need to be discerning as we read as believers. Sure, open the book, step on in and relax and enjoy the story, but don’t check your brain at the door.

The reality is every book has a human author at various stages of sanctification and growth in their own Christian walk. That will translate to the page and the underlying theology which is behind their story.

So, is it wrong to read inspirational romance? It definitely is not a sin unless God tells you not to read that. But as with movies and other media content we take in during our days, we need to be discerning. I believe authors are held as accountable as any pastor or teacher out there for the content they produce and we should never seek to lead anyone into sin or promote sinful practices, but some theology can be far more subtle and we need to be careful.

Those church leaders who “ban” Christian romance are not giving their women enough credit to have the brains to discern what is real and what is not. Who knows, maybe the story will convict them to be more godly as women and wives? The hope of any Christian author would be to leave their reader on a more solid encouraged place before the cross of Christ. Maybe entertained, but hopefully encouraged and uplifted and maybe even challenged in their own faith as a result. I know I wanted books I wouldn’t be ashamed of my children picking up and hopefully the characters would give them godly role models to follow in their own walk. So far none of my children have read my books but maybe someday? And if not my kids, maybe those of others will be blessed.

 

Author Confession: God Blesses in Spite of Our Flaws

May27
Reading Time: 4 minutes

Author Confession: God Blesses in Spite of Our Flaws

During a particularly traumatic time in ministry, I came across A.W. Tozer’s book The Attributes of God and a journal. That was such a gift from God. I’ve appreciated much of A.W. Tozer’s writings but a few years ago I was reading about his life and was dismayed at how he neglected his wife. Having been on the receiving end of that kind of treatment myself at the time, it upset me.

I can’t deny the fruit of Tozer’s work in my life to help me grow in my faith during a difficult time, but there was part of me that wanted nothing to do with a man who would be so bad a husband.

My husband has a favorite saying: Don’t look horizontal (to men). Look vertically (to God)- Man will let you down but God never will.

I’m sure Tozer did the best he could with what he understood of God’s truth at the time, or he didn’t have anyone around him to confront him on his what would now be considered abuse and neglect of his family. The reality is—we are all in that same boat, aren’t we?

Scripture points to the reality that we as humans are terribly flawed no matter how good our intentions are or how much we claim to love the Lord.

Romans 3:11 says:   “There is no one righteous, not even one.  There is no one who understands; there is no one who seeks God.”

Jeremiah 17:9  “The heart is more deceitful than anything else, and incurable—who can understand it?”

“For the eyes of Yahweh roam throughout the earth to show Himself strong for those whose hearts are completely His.”  2 Chronicles 16:9a

Even God is often disappointed in the failures of His creation to live up to His plans for us. Somehow, in spite of that Scripture says He delights in us when we delight in Him.

Zephaniah 3:17 says : “Yahweh your God is among you, a warrior who saves. He will rejoice over you with gladness. He will bring you quietness with His love. He will delight in you with shouts of joy.”

I’m sure I have my share of failures people could point to without knowing all the facts, just like I don’t know all the facts about Tozer’s life or any other Christian leader who has seemingly failed.

I’ll confess I’ve struggled with this tension between judgement and mercy toward people like Tozer whose work I have been blessed by and yet have perceived failures. I’ve seen the same with other leaders as I’ve walked this planet and been a part of various organizations and been disappointed and even abused by so called “Christians.”

I have to hold on to the two contradictions knowing God is the only One who knows the heart. I want His mercy and grace for areas where I have failed and I’m amazed as I look back on my journey, and some of the hard lessons I’ve had to learn on the way, where I had blind spots to behaviors, actions, and words that wounded others unintentionally.

One of my favorite Psalms is Psalm 19. Verses 12-14

“Who perceives his unintentional sins? Cleanse me from my hidden faults. Moreover, keep Your servant from willful sins; do not let them rule over me. Then I will be innocent and cleansed from blatant rebellion. May the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be acceptable to You, Lord, my rock and my Redeemer.”

What amazes me is that God can bless us even when we are failing morally, oftentimes unintentionally (which is still sin), yet God can bless our work. He can use us even though we are imperfect. Which also means any successful outcome is due to HIM–not me.

I’m stunned and amazed by this as I look back over my life so far. I don’t deserve that anything good came of my efforts to imperfectly serve God, yet His grace covers me. I wish I still didn’t have unintentional sins or blind spots where someone might be hurt by something I said, did, or didn’t do.

And I pray that my husband and close friends will love me enough to point out where I might be falling short of the mark so that I can continue to grow and not be encumbered as I seek to honor Him with the gifts HE has so graciously bestowed. I don’t want to continue as if I have nothing to learn or grow from totally relying on His grace, because to do so cheapens the sacrifice Christ made for me on the cross when He died for my sins.

And I’ll let God be judge of those who have lead, taught, served in whatever capacity but fell short of what I think is best. Because I fall short as well, just maybe in a different way. God blesses in spite of our flaws and for that I’ll be grateful.

 

Author Confessions: Satan Doesn’t Like Christian Authors

May13
Reading Time: 3 minutes

Author Confessions: Satan Doesn’t Like Christian Authors

This idea should be more of a “duh” kind of thing. Of course Satan doesn’t like Christian authors—he’s diametrically opposed to Christ, the gospel and those who are trying to honor God in the exercise of their spiritual gifts.

So why bother writing about it? Because we too often forget we are in a spiritual battle.

Not that every challenge or bad thing that happens to us can be pinned on our mortal foe. We can easily make life more difficult without his help.

But when I’m afraid to write because I believe it won’t be good enough, then I’m believing a lie. My unbelief in God’s power to work in and through me, is a great tool for the enemy to use to keep me from exercising my gifts and calling.

When something bad happens, like last year I tripped and fell and broke my right humerus (arm), that wasn’t really the devil’s fault. Some of it had been a result of my inability to get medication I needed because of insurance and supply chain issues. I could just blame Satan, the insurance company, the FDA, the pharmaceutical companies, but to what end? I could blame myself for being impulsive, inattentive, and clumsy. I could blame the UPS guy for leaving the box of brakes for my car where I would trip over them. That’s not fair though because I could have moved them. I saw them there! That goes back to blaming myself for being lazy. I could blame God for allowing it.

What have I accomplished by any of that? God graciously provided me with so many blessings in the midst of that intense pain. My dog stayed by my side. I was able to get to my husband who took exceptional care of me, even untying my shoes as I blacked out in a chair. Only to have me waking up to say “they zip”. Excellent medical care at the emergency room with a wait of less than ten minutes? That’s unusual to be sure!

I didn’t need surgery and the dire warnings of the first doctor I saw a few days later never came to pass (at least to this date). My rotator cuff could have been reinjured necessitating surgery, or the bone head could have died due to cutting off the blood flow with the break requiring a shoulder replacement. As far as I am aware, fifteen months later, I’m fine.

The reality is, bad things happen all the time. Job didn’t even know that his deepest griefs were because God had lifted protection over him and allowed Satan access. The point of that was to keep trusting God even when things go wrong, because we have no idea what’s going on behind-the-scenes.

The only way to do that is to stay connected to the One who controls it all, including our enemy. Sometimes catastrophe comes and however God allows those things to happen, due to someone else’s sin, or our own (natural consequences), or nature itself, or perhaps our enemy, we need to trust Him and focus on Him.

I was so sad when our vacation had cancelled due to my arm. But I did believe that somehow God was in that. We did take a different trip after I’d healed up enough and during that trip my husband and I were able to share the gospel with a young man who was clearly hurting. We spent several hour with him over a meal. Right then and there I knew my broken arm wasn’t wasted.

Now I’ve already written on God knowing everything so I won’t go into that there. God could have done something similar on our initial trip too. The reality is God is always at work and need to keep focused on Him.

Keeping our hearts clean before God keeps us in step with the Holy Spirit who will help us when evil comes knocking, whether it is in life, vacations, health, work, or yes, even writing. We can grieve our losses on the way but never stop clinging to God and the power He gives us through the Holy Spirit.

The enemy doesn’t stand a chance. Satan hates Christian authors but he’s not the one I’m going to focus on. Instead I’ll keep working as God leads me through the power and protection of the Holy Spirit and trust Him for the results.

Billions of Dead Things

Sep18
Reading Time: 3 minutes

“If Noah’s flood is true you’d find billions of dead things buried in rock, laid down by water, all over the earth.” Ken Ham.

After I got over the awesome vastness that is the Grand Canyon, that quote by Ken Ham began to resonate within me. Especially when I would hear park rangers talk about evolution. Sure, things died and are buried, but evolution doesn’t explain enough. For instance as a Christian, if I believe Genesis 1 is true then evolution doesn’t work because there was no death when the world was created. There wasn’t any death until AFTER the fall. God’s creation was good, till man messed it up.

Grand Canyon September 2023 c. Susan M. Baganz Lodwick
Grand Canyon, September 2023.

And then it struck me. Dead things. All this breathtaking beauty is dead things. And the rangers were wrong. God was the One who created this. He destroyed a world that was evil in an attempt to give it a restart, but the sin nature in us all couldn’t refrain from going down bad paths once again.

God can use catastrophe, like a Biblical flood, to purge sin but also create something beautiful. It is so evident in Arizona, but it’s everywhere if we only open our eyes to see it.

Sunset on the Grand Canyon from the Desert Watchtower September 2023 c. Susan M. Baganz Lodwick
Sunset at the Grand Canyon from the Desert Watchtower, September 2023. Would have been prettier if we had cloud cover.

We deny God’s power and beauty on display to our own detriment. If we forget then we are prone to do the same thing. We see it over and over and over in the Old Testament where God gives His people chance after chance to keep their covenant with Him. They fail every time. We all do.

Yet, God remains faithful. Always.

I live in Wisconsin with tall trees and lots of green grass. When we traveled through the Navajo Nation we saw a desolate landscape. Little grew. It was barren and people living there didn’t have much.

Antelope Canyon sunbeams, c. Susan M. Baganz Lodwick September 2023
Sunbeams in Antelope Canyon, Page AZ. September 2023

Then we went to Antelope Canyon in Page, Arizona (part of the Navajo Nation). It is amazing. Was it worth the price and the 2 1/2 hour drive one way to spend 30 minutes in a 1/4 mile stretch of sand to see the sights? Guess you can judge. I think they were the best pics from the trip.

Us in Antelope Canyon, September 2023, c. Susan M. Baganz Lodwick
My hubby and I in Antelope Canyon, Page AZ, September 2023

Sand in the sunbeam at Antelope Canyon, September 2023. C. Susan M. Baganz Lodwick
Sand in sunbeam in Antelope Canyon, Page AZ, September 2023

While our vaction was good minus long delays at the airport for our flights, and lots of driving, it was also a slap in the face to realize that our world is no better than in Noah’s day. It’s funny that people want to focus on the environment, and the government believes they can control the weather, (hint: they can’t.), while we allow the hearts of people to be destroyed and sin has free reign. I was aware of this before our trip, but billions of dead things brought it to the forefront of my mind.

It is all the more reason to worship the Creator of the Universe and once again focus on the One who makes beauty out of pain. He’s done that in my life time and again, even this year. This is the second trip I took this year where God revealed Himself in fresh ways. I see it every day where I live too but God is bigger than my little world. The Grand Canyon shows evidence of that in more ways than most who visit, from all over the world, realize.