Tag Archive | gifts

Author Confessions: Groundhog Day

Reading Time: 3 minutes

Author Confessions: Groundhog Day

Today is the anniversary of when my first baby was supposed to be born. He was much like a groundhog in that he didn’t want to come out until a week later and even then it was against his will (C-section).

Around the Nothern Hemisphere, poor little groundhogs will be hauled out of their cozy burrows so humans can see if there’s a shadow. It’s a funny tradition and other nations around the world have different ways to predict the end of winter. The reality is, the idea that winter will end immediately is ridiculous. It’s usually six weeks more before we can see the light at the end of the tunnel with winter. Groundhog Day is a nice way to pause and give a little hope to each other that spring will come.

Emotionally, many of us hibernate in other ways. We don’t share ourselves with others, afraid to speak out or afraid to be known. Or perhaps we have an ability or gift but we’re afraid to share that. Matthew 5:16 states: “Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works, and glorify your Father who is in Heaven.” (KJV). A person may be shy or introverted, or perhaps even wounded by previous experiences. Finding a safe place to share all that God has given us can be tricky. Even in the church.

1 Corinthians 1:3-4 says: Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our affliction so that we will be able to comfort those who are in any affliction with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God. (NASB)

God has designed us to be in community. If a church is not healthy or toxic, and you can’t resolve that, it is better to go find another one where you can safely use your gifts and experiences to help others. That is not a leave one week – start serving somewhere else the next, kind of timeline. Sometimes we need help to recover from those wounds suffered, yes, even by those in the church, including church leadership.

Perhaps we need a season of healing in there. That doesn’t mean we still can’t be engaged in community and be a blessing to those we interact with in and out of the church. We don’t get to be a groundhog and hide away from the world. You and others will miss out on so many blessings if one chooses to be a groundhog.

It might feel as though God drags us out of our little burrow before we feel ready. I think He often delights in showing off His power in and through us when we are weak and believe we have nothing to offer. We’re wrong about that. We all have something to offer in some way shape or form and it might not be a specific role that you’re in. The phrase “one another” appears at least 269 times in the Bible. Our presence is sometimes the gift.

Covid taught us the dangers of hibernation. Kids suffered, loneliness exploded, and people died. In and out of the church we are called, as Christians, to serve one another, love, care for, minister, encourage…. one another. That goes beyond the church, because loving actions and a sweet spirit as we interact with people can be a blessing to any and all we meet as we go about our lives.

This is all very simplistic but I think the principles generally hold. Even if others don’t reciprocate, our willingness to stick our necks out, honors God and He’s the One who really matters.

Do you have any Groundhog Day tendencies? Why do you want to hide? What are you hiding? Ask God to show you how you can be a blessing to someone else this week.

Author Confessions: To Know or Not to Know?

Reading Time: 3 minutes

Author Confessions: To Know or Not to Know?

I’m sitting here trying to get stuff done and trying to not fret about all the things that I need to do at some point. Funny how I was editing a book and my own words, written to my character, resonated with what I needed to hear today:

Ask God for the next best step to take right now.

I’m a planner. I like to know the plan. I can be flexible but it can emotionally be more of a stretch for me. The irony of that? When I write I don’t plan. I might have a back page blurb or even a character intereview but usually I don’t know how the story is going to unfold. Writing becomes a fun adventure.

Real life is truly no different. I am aware that there are certainties I will face this year and need to prepare for: taxes, building a house, eventually moving, finishing up some books so they can come out in November. Thinking about those things…and the multitude of steps and amount of time and energy they each require–can stress me out! And those are the things I am aware of! God may have other surprises up His sleeve (please, let them be fun ones!).

A wise person confronted me last week, telling me I’m too hard on myself. I expect too much of me, and can be overly critical when I don’t reach my own unrealistic expectations. Be present. Live in the moment.

Wow. That’s hard in so many ways when the future problems are twirling around in my brain!

So what am I doing? Writing a blog post about what I’m struggling with right now. After that? I’ll ask God.

In many ways, living in the present means enjoying every moment as it happens. I do have moments where I can do that. Some tasks I undertake, eliminate my ability to muse about the future. Most of those I enjoy. Playing guitar (when I took lessons) made it impossible to focus on anything else. Creating something new, embroidery, puzzles, making cards. On the not so fun side: organizing paperwork for our taxes!

Unfortunately I can’t spend my entire life doing those things alone. But blog posts won’t write themselves, and I have other things to do, that might get me “out of my head” as it were, and maybe I’ll be able to set aside all the anxieties over things that haven’t happened yet, and enjoy the moment in the here and now.

Sponteneity doesn’t come easy for me (except in writing a story), but God will continue to grow me in my abilitly to  appreciate the surprises He has for me so I can relax and enjoy the many gifts He’s giving… as He gives them.

Whatever happens in the future–He will  be there for me in that moment as well.

Happy 2026! Praying you can live in the moment too and savor the many gifts our Savior gives. I’m curious if you are a know or not to know person- planner or spontaneous. What keeps you in the present moment?

Author Confession: The Dangerous Emotion of Jealousy

Reading Time: 4 minutes

Author Confession: The Dangerous Emotion of Jealousy

Jealousy is another emotion we often downplay and don’t confront in others, much less ourselves. It’s a great tool in romance novels because jealousy can cause people to do things that create conflict and that’s always great for a story.

It’s not so good in real life. I’ve struggled with jealousy throughout my life. I’m sure you have to if you’re honest. It’s an emotion. Even God gets jealous but then He has good reason to be when His children seek worthless idols to distract them from a relationship with Him. We are all guilty of that. So when God is jealous and gets angry because of that jealousy, it is acceptable and not a sin.

For His created people, it is sin if we let ourselves simmer there. Jealousy is coveting what someone else has. The tenth commandment states: “You shall not covet your neighbor’s house; you shall not covet your neighbor’s wife or his male servant or his female servant or his ox or his donkey or anything that belongs to your neighbor.” Exodus 20:17. Interesting that it does not disparage the desire for the gifts God has given us. Much like our Lord, we can be jealous for time with our spouse or children. As long as that emotion doesn’t lead us into sin.

I can drive around and admire homes without being jealous or wanting that particular home, or one like it. But if I am jealous and desire that home then I’m sinning because I am not content with what God has given me.

I’ve been jealous of other authors. Their successes. Their writing style. The big publishing contract. But I stop myself for a few reasons from dwelling there. Here’s why:

  • God gave them a unique voice and calling and to elevate theirs as superior is to denigrate the work HE has done in and through me.
  • Big book sales do not always equate to eternal impact. If I want to make money, I could write the stuff that really sells, but that is not what God has called me to do.
  • If I believe God has called and led me on the path I am on, it is wrong for me to compare that with the path He has someone else on.
  • I have no idea the sacrifices that person has made to get where they are. As most don’t know mine either.
  • If God blesses another author with a bigger sales and paycheck than myself and we are both being obedient to Him, then I should rejoice in His work because He knows the plans He has for all of us to use for His glory.

So how do I fight the tendency to jealousy? I stop and celebrate what God has done for that author. When it comes to Christian publishing, we are all on the same team! We don’t need to be competitive or one up another. That’s why I rejoined a writer’s group – so I could be a cheerleader and also be encouraged on my journey. I’ll admit sometimes I feel inferior no matter how many books I’ve written.

What about jealousy in other areas of life? We can elevate people based on outward appearances but we may not be aware of the dysfunction behind the scenes. Maybe a family looks great on the outside, perfect husband and wife and kids with no problems. At least for now. That you know of. Or someone with a great career, but again, we don’t know the sacrifices or maybe even the heartache that is going on deep inside. Good things come with a cost.

Being jealous is telling God that what He has given me isn’t good enough. It’s like the second son in the story of the prodigal son (Luke 15:11-32) who is upset that the father never threw a party for him but gave one for the returning wastrel. Jesus told a parable about a master paying laborers the same even though some didn’t work as long. (Matthew 20:1-16) and likened this to the Kingdom of Heaven. Jesus can distribute gifts through the Holy Spirit and blessings as HE sees fit and I have no right to be angry or jealous. My job is to honor and obey HIM and not seek other things, including a lucartive publishing contract or huge sales. If I submit to the Jesus and let the Holy Spirit reign in my heart and life than I have reward enough.

When I stand before the throne of God someday He is not going to ask me why my kids didn’t turn out as accomplished as someone else’s kids, or why my house wasn’t bigger or better, or cleaner! He’s not going to judge me on my BMI or the brand of clothing I wear. He won’t care how many people read this blog or how many books I wrote or sold, or how many people follow me on social media.

He will only care that I repented of my sins and put my faith in Jesus Christ alone.

There will be rewards for the obedience and forgiveness for my failures, even the ones I’m not aware of. That’s grace.

We all stand equal at the foot of the cross. It is a level playing field and the rest is smoke and mirrors. Where is my devotion? God is jealous for me to worship only Him not book sales. The dangerous emotion of jealousy can impact all of us in various ways. How do you deal with it?

Author Confessions: Managing Expectations

Reading Time: 3 minutes

Author Confessions: Managing Expectations

Christmas is in two days! In November I had a last-minute surgery while trying to prepare for Christmas early and write 50,000 words for National Novel Writing Month. I’ve had inguinal hernia repair about thirteen years ago and thought, no problem. I’ve got this! I needed to have a lot done and out of the way so that I could take care of my husband in December after his reverse shoulder replacement on his left arm. He did the right one a few years back so we’ve been down this road before and I realized that this Christmas, and our sixth anniversary (yesterday), would of necessity be low-key and one of doing less, rather than more, over the holidays.

Christmas gifts that I was making got finished, wrapped under the tree (or in some cases in the mail). Hernia surgery was accomplished, due to a kind surgeon squeezing me in last minute but it was unexpectedly much more intensive than even he expected. Six weeks recovery means no lifting over 15 lbs so I’ll need to be careful with wood stove and make more trips when unloading groceries from the car up through January 2nd.

My daughter had a birthday as well (how can she be twenty?). Her gift was ready. She said to me though, “Mom, I don’t have a job right now. I’ll try to get you a Christmas gift for you, but don’t know if I’ll have the money to do that.”

That made me sad. Gifts are more than physical material things. They can include acts of service. She could come over and load my wood stove!  Or sit with her step-father and watch television while I go get my hair done. He’d probably be fine alone but that would definitely be a help and easy MY mind. Or just spending time together.

My love languages are words of affirmation and quality time, so her being here – just to hang out, or bake Christmas cookies together, or do a craft, would be a better gift than something she’d manage to find that I probably don’t need, to open on Christmas day.

That’s why I stopped giving my mom birthday gifts. What does she need? Instead, we are making memories. Last year we went to Kentucky to the Creation Museum and the Ark Encounter. This year we went to Branson (both of these being road trips for us). Next year we’re already planning on a trip to downtown San Antonio.TX, because for all her travels she’s never been to the Riverwalk (but I have). Making memories that last long after wrapping paper has been tossed away. I will confess, there are a few items under the tree for her!

With Christmas around the corner, how are you managing your expectations? Israel had waited a long time for a Messiah, and they didn’t know quite how to handle it when Jesus was finally born. Life is like that, isn’t it? We can plan and plan for things, but the unexpected can happen in a flash.

So, this is more for myself than anyone else. Take a deep breath. Relax. Sit. Savor the moments you have and don’t fret about a perfect gift, the best decorated tree, or the perfect holiday gathering. We got the best gift of all in a baby born on a dark night in less-than-ideal circumstances. Heaven came down to earth. Our Savior was born.

I love this song by Bryan Duncan, The Form of Man. Enjoy, and Merry Christmas!

 

Also Steven Curtis Chapman: This Baby