Tag Archive | hope

Author Confessions: Christmas Chaos

Dec1
Reading Time: 3 minutes

Author Confessions: Christmas Chaos

Maybe you can relate. I’m late writing this because on Saturday (when I should have been writing) I was working on a gift for later this month. Today I realized it is being shipped to my old address so had to text the new owner. It is possible it might get sent back as I don’t know if USPS will do a mail forwarding on a package given to it by UPS.

Christmas chaos.

I tried paying my credit card bills to stay ahead of them and one I couldn’t even get on to the website no matter what browser I used. I’m kind of mad at them but even more so that I can’t pay off my card to make sure I have enough credit for the needs of the next few weeks. On top of that I’m already panicking about getting LLC end-of-the-year paperwork ready for our accountant in January.

Christmas chaos.

I made Christmas gifts but need to find tune them because it was something I’d never done before and I kind of messed them up a bit. I’m a little afraid I’ll make them worse.

Christmas chaos.

This month has a lot of special dates in it. My daughter’s birthday, and her graduation from her trade school course. Special Christmas programs, our family Christmas gathering, our wedding anniversary, and of course, Christmas. Add doctor appointments etc… Oh, and one family member won’t come to the family gathering because apparently I said something bad about his family. Not sure what it was (or when) but I love the unhealthy triangulation of complaining to my Mom instead of to me (where is a sarcasm font when you need it?). All of my siblings have said disparaging things about me and my family over the years…some of it justified! I didn’t skip seeing them over that. I think I’m more of a convenient excuse as they have better plans. I get to be the scapegoat. Funny things is, initially we weren’t even going to be able to attend due to a scheduled surgery for my husband that got postponed.

Christmas chaos.

We have a renter who we try to help out but there’s been a lack of time for relationship between busyness as well as unrealistic and undercommunicated expecations. I want to try to play peacemaker but with two strong people going different direections at the speed of light, how do I get them to sit down, stop moving, and actually listen and care for the other person?

Christmas chaos.

We just got hit with a winter storm that wasn’t as bad as forcasted but still threw people into a frenzy of shopping for Christmas as well as supplies to hibernate if need be. We had no trouble getting dinner out on Saturday night because of this which is a rarety for us. Don’t worry, the roads weren’t too bad and my SUV has AWD and we took it SLOW. Unfortunately, the basement for our house probably has a foot of snow in it.

Christmas chaos.

The snow was beautiful though on the trees! Sunday morning church was light on people as many still needed to dig out.

Christmas chaos.

At my birthday party this last summer someone gave me a plaquc, that of course is packed away now, but says “In the middle of the chaos there was Jesus.”

Jesus came into a world of chaos. Census, pregnancy outside of wedlock, political turmoil, escaping death by running to Egypt.

We’d like to think of Christmas as a time of peace and good will to all men, but it wasn’t then, and likely won’t be now if we consider outside circumstances. Giving birth is messy and painful, and usually not quiet. Shepherds awakened by angels heralding his birth were not quiet and was quite disturbing! And having those shepherds show up in the middle of the night to see your baby? Unbelievable–but it happened.

Christmas chaos.

Jesus was born into a world of chaos and He alone understands how that all impacts us today. Scripture refers to Him as the Prince of Peace. Where is this peace though? The reality is that it is found in Jesus alone, in a relationship with Him. In the midst of the chaos of our inner and outer lives, He longs to bring us the calm. The peace. The hope that there is something better to have in the present and our future as we grow in our relationship with Him.

Maybe you needed that reminder today as well to seek out the Prince of Peace in the midst of a Christmas Chaos that centers not around gifts, family squabbles, or all the concerts and special occassions, but on Him and Him alone. Let Jesus  be the calm in your Christmas chaos.

Author Confessions: The Dangerous Emotion of Hope

May5
Reading Time: 4 minutes

Author Confessions: The Dangerous Emotion of Hope

Why and how could hope ever be considered dangerous?

Hopelessness

Many years ago, I recieved a gift from a wise mentor mom. It was a Christmas candle that spelled out HOPE. She said, “I realized that this is what you need most right now-HOPE.” Now I had faith and hope in Jesus and complete trust in His salvation, but I lacked hope that He who is able, would not rescue me from the painful circumstances of my life. I believed God was good, but doubted He would be good to me. I would reason that there were people far worse off than I was (and therefore more worthy of rescue?), and that in spite of my salvation found in Jesus, I was no more special than anyone else needing help. I didn’t deserve that kind of grace.

Psychology talks about learned helplessness which can lead to hopelessness. The sensation that I had no agency to change my circumstances and therefore I was helpless and hopeless. Depression makes that worse, as well as some chronic health issues. Fatigue, poverty, abuse, can eradicate hope.

When that mom gave me that candle, I began to realize I had abandoned hope. I was hopeless in my situation. Hope wasn’t easily found. That one word HOPE eventually led me down a better path when it refocused on my need for it.

Hope Deferred

We can hope for many things. Rescue, a new home, a long-awaited child, healing from an illness. Nothing is too big or small for God to be concerned with. When we don’t understand His timing, the hope seems so far off, and we can lose hope. Not necessarily to the point of hopelessness, but we can doubt it. Hebrews 11:1 states: “Now faith is the certainty of things hoped for, a proof of things not seen.” Hope is closely tied into our faith in Jesus. We can all struggle with doubt at different points in our lives. Proverbs 12:12 describes it this way: “Hope deferred makes the heart sick, But desire fulfilled is a tree of life.”

Hope is always about a future event or thing. In essence, it is about something deferred. Hope is the present time of expection, but when we lose that expectation it is grief to the soul.

Hope in the Wrong Things

Psalm 33:17 states: “A horse is a false hope for victory; Nor does it rescue anyone by its great strength.” How often do we put our hope in things that don’t last? The perfect spouse, kids, family, eductation, job, car, home, health, our talents and gifts. God guarantees none of those things. There are people living in third world countries that experience greater joy and hope than we do in America because we are faced with so many shiny objects and ideas to put our hope in. Where are you placing your hope? What is it that you truly hope for?

True Hope

The author of Hebrews wrote: “This hope we have as an anchor of the soul, a hope both sure and reliable.” (Heb 6: 19a) I love that image of an anchor, holding us fast to Jesus and all His promises. When we place our ultimate hope in HIM, we can experience great freedom and joy. The apostle Paul wrote: “I pray that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened, so that you will know what is the hope of His calling, what are the riches of the glory of His inheritance in the saints.” (Eph 1:18) What a prayer to pray for yourself and others.

We can hope for good weather for a picnic or family reunion. We can hope that God will heal someone. We can hope for a good night of rest. None of those are inherently bad, but when we expect immediate results then we can be in trouble. If our hope is in God, we will ultimately want HIM above all to be active in leading, guiding and working in and through us. Paul prays in Romans 13:15 “Now may the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, so that you will abound in hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.”

Hope is an anchor but it also gives us wings to head into the future with joy and expectation. Our ultimate hope is our coming face to face with Jesus and hearing “Well done, good and faithful servant.” That should be a hope we strive for, and we can only accomplish that hope by the power of the Holy Spirit who is alive and at work within us the moment we receive Christ as Savior and Lord.

Where is your hope today? Where have you struggled with the dangerous emotion of hope? As human beings, filled with emotions, they can make or break us, but I hope reviewing this will help you recenter on the Source of hope, Jesus.

 “Let’s hold firmly to the confession of our hope without wavering, for He who promised is faithful.”Hebrews 10:13

 

 

Author Confessions: The Dangerous Emotion of Grief

Feb17
Reading Time: 3 minutes

Author Confessions: The Dangerous Emotion of Grief

I mentioned last week in my post on the dangerous emotion of love that those who love deeply, feeling a depth of affection for someone, grieve deeply.

Grief, as opposed to love, is that not so good feeling that can weigh us down. It can combine regrets, anger, and even in some cases relief.

Relief? When there is a long illness and a lot of medical issues, doctor appointments, bills, or difficult decisions, then the end of those challenges along with the end of the suffering of a person we love, can result in relief. We still grieve as we miss them terribly but then wishing them to remain while in such depths of suffering is ultimately selfish, isn’t it? Not that we want to hasten death, but when it finally comes it is almost a welcome end for that individual who has suffered. And for those who suffered alongside them.

Elizabeth Kübler-Ross defined five stages of grief: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. These are not necessarily linear going in order, nor do they have a time frame. The dangerous part is when someone gets stuck in the first four parts. Even with acceptance there is sorrow, sometimes deep gut-wrenching sorrow, but the individual can resume life without that person even though they will forever be missed and remembered. If you or someone you know is struggling with grief,  Grief Share is a powerful  ministry that helps people process their grief and loss so that they can move forward in life.

We can grieve more than just the death of an individual whether it be a spouse, child, grandparent, friend… We can grieve lost dreams, a pet, our health, a home, a break-up of a relationship that was dear to us, painful trauma from the past, the loss of innocence, and even our own sin. 2 Corinthians 7:10 states: “For godly grief produces a repentance not to be regretted and leading to salvation, but worldly grief produces death.”

Grief is a healthy emotion when we allow ourselves to express that through tears and talking about memories or regrets. It becomes dangerous when we try to numb the grief with alcohol, drugs, food, or sex, or perhaps something else. They are only temporary bandaids. Grief might expose other issues that need to be deal with like family-of-origin issues, abandonment, and coming to terms with our own mortality.

Grief can be held on to almost as a comfort as one might forget the person lost, or fear they will be dishonoring them by moving on with life. Choosing to be a victim of grief can be deblitating socially as well as emotionally, especially if the person was perhaps co-dependent on the one now gone. It can deeply wound a sense of identity and that may require counseling to wrestle through and define a new way of moving forward in life.

Grief can be dangerous when accompanied by trauma as well. Again, therpy, especially trauma-based therapy, might prove helpful.

Grief is complex and I am only giving a cursory glance at it here. If it is something you or someone you know are struggling with, get connected wtih Grief Share or a therapist who can help you move forward.

Those who have faith in Jesus will still grieve. Even Jesus wept at Lazarus’s grave, but was that for Lazarus or for those surrounding him who were grieving because they failed to see the Savior in their midst? 1 Thessalonians 4:13 states: “We do not want you to be uninformed, brothers, concerning those who are asleep, so that you will not grieve like the rest, who have no hope.”

Whether we lose a person, a relationship or anything else, if we get stuck in grief we are failing to look to the Creator and Sustainer of life Who is always orchestrating everything according to His perfect will. Our suffering is temporary and no loss is without a greater purpose in His plans for us. 2 Corinthians 1:4 states: “He comforts us in all our affliction, so that we may be able to comfort those who are in any kind of affliction, through the comfort we ourselves receive from God.” Now I confess that when I was in deeply painful situation that verse did not offer me comfort. Having said that, I have seen God use others and myself move past grief to purpose and multiple opportunities to be there to support others as they go through suffering.

Grief is a healthy emotion when expressed and worked through, often with some help and comfort from others. There is hope for those who walk with Jesus as the Holy Spirit is a comforter to us in our sorrows. The dangerous emotion of grief occurs when an individual gets stuck there, stuffs their emotions down, or self-medicates to forget. How have you dealt with grief? Have you struggled with this? What helped you most?

I explored the dangerous emotion of grief in my book Bratwurst and Bridges. 

Author Confessions: Limits to Freedom of Speech

Jul1
Reading Time: 6 minutes

Author Confessions: Limits to Freedom of Speech

As we head into another United States of America Independence Day I was pondering freedom. We have many freedoms in the USA and one of them is freedom of speech. However, there are limitations to this, especially in the Christian publishing industry.

Universal Limitations

  • Lyrics. Not just anything can go on the printed page. Some are universal for all publishing. For instance, I cannot print lyrics from a song without permission from that songwriter and the music publisher. The exception is if it is public domain. That means the origin of the song has to be at least 95 to 120 years and no one owns the intellectual property rights. Most old hymns and Christmas carols fall into this category. However, if one is writing contemporary fiction newer songs cannot be referenced via lyrics in the narrative of a book, not even if you are giving credit. This becomes a legal issue that one has to be careful about.
  • Slander. One has to be very careful about writing about real people and telling real stories. Unless permission is granted the author and publisher could be liable for charges of slander if someone mentioned in a book feels that their reputation is ruined or declares that the words written by him or her are not true. That’s a tricky road to walk because we all have our own interpretation of events that have happened in our lives. But what if my perception of events is not viewed the same way by someone who has offended me? Unless there is a decided legal case which convicts someone of a specific crime, any thing else could be suspect. This is what happened when Amber Heard wrote an article stating she was the victim of abuse. While she never named her ex-husband, Johnny Depp, most people understood that was who she was talking about and he lost work due to that. The court found that she was liable for slander. Freedom of speech did not protect her from saying negative things even though she didn’t even mention his name. I’ve read some books where it was easy to find the name of the person being talked about and I often wondered if that wouldn’t have opened up the author (and publisher) to charges of slander, even if the statements were true. In one case, I discovered the person written about was a public figure (both were) and had moved to a new market and when the book  released went on a drinking binge costing him public humiliation and losing his job. Ouch. This book was written by a Christian. While much of that autobiography was instructive and helpful to me as a reader, there was a cringe factor in how it exposed her ex-husband. This is often why I’ve suggested to some that writing their story, heavily veiled, in fiction, might be safer.

Christian Limitations

The Christian market has more unique limitations that involve not including foul language, no disparaging remarks about God, no drinking or drug use portrayed positively and without consequences, no sex outside of marriage and definitely no sexual encounter described in detail on the page. Any evil act needs to be seen as such so there is no glorification of murder, abuse, theft, lying etc. This is what makes Christian fiction “clean” for the reader.

When I stared writing I wanted to have books that I wouldn’t be afraid of my children picking up. A creative writer can tell a great story without explicit sin. A great story shouldn’t need a detailed sex-scene because that only titillates the reader and could lead them into sin.

Christian publishing houses might have further restrictions on what they will or will not allow and the author needs to heed those limitations or he or she won’t be published.

Liability

It is difficult for writers to be insured to protect against liability. Most authors don’t carry insurance for this because we don’t make enough to cover the expense. That’s just the brutal truth. There are few companies that even offer this. We often want to share personal stories and write about hard truths but we need to be careful to not be so specific that we could be accused of slander. Even using the name of a company in our book, or a restaurant could be a problem. Many of us do put stuff in there, and as long as it is used in a positive light, it shouldn’t be an issue.

Off the Page

Even outside of the books themselves there are things writers are not to discuss. We are not to tell others about our contracts (at least not publicly on social media) or issues we might be having with a publisher or agent. Most of those things need to be dealt with privately. Now if there is a publisher doing horrible things than giving warning to others against that publisher/agent/editor/author might be necessary but not in a public way lest it be considered slander. For instance, if someone asks publicly about a particular publisher or editor, anyone who has a negative view would be better served to privately share that information.

Organizers of conferences will share amongst themselves if they come across unethical actions by publishers, agents, editors, or authors, as a way to protect the conferees. The attendees are not informed of those who have done wrong, at least not publicly. The only exception might be if someone were to do something that became public. Examples might be: inappropriate touching, sexual immorality, illegal activities, or something like that might become known and published in a local paper, or even a market publishing magazine. Once it is public then it is no longer private. Actions might also include the author losing his reputation, his books might be pulled by the publisher, and he or she will be persona-non-grata at conferences. Not that there couldn’t be restoration and forgiveness. God does forgive sin! We are to forgive. But oftentimes there needs to be repentance and possibly space for healing before that individual might be allowed to serve in any of those capacities again.

There have even been instances, in Christian publishing, where a well-known personality plagiarized an entire work of fiction by another lesser-known Christian author. How painful and wrong! I hope she was able to get justice as she probably didn’t have a ton of financial resources to fight for her rights.

This is no different than in the church itself. The Christian publishing community is small and we are still the body of Christ and maybe there isn’t a denomination ruling over most of us, there is a desire to honor God in all we do, on and off the pages of any book.

This really is a desire to heed Matthew 18: 15-17. “If your brother sins against you, go and rebuke him in private. If he listens to you, you have won your brother. But if he won’t listen, take one or two more with you, so that by the testimony of two or three witnesses every fact may be established. If he pays no attention to them, tell the church. But if he doesn’t pay attention even to the church, let him be like an unbeliever and a tax collector to you.” (HCSB)

Freedom In Christ

As Christians, we face limitations are found in our daily lives. Most are designed for our good! Not rules and regulations, although some might boil the Christian life to that. Rather as we seek to honor God with our gifts and the calling to write, we want to also honor the boundaries He provides. Those same boundaries are reflected in the books we write (or should be if we are to be called “Christian”). This isn’t done out of a need to earn approval but out of a personal relationship with Jesus. Out of the grace He has bestowed on us to be children of God, and in order to not grieve the Holy Spirit that indwells us as believers, we seek to write in a way that would bring glory and honor to HIM first, and hopefully uplift and entertain the reader with truths found in Scripture, whether explicitly stated or not.

True Freedom

As we celebrate our freedoms as a nation, there are still limits to freedom of speech, even outside of the Christian publishing industry. Yet we do have so many freedoms. We can disagree politically, or even have discussions about different theological ideologies we might not agree on. Hopefully all we do as those who follow Christ will also be tempered with the freedom we have to share the sweet truths of His word, because He is the ultimate hope and foundation that this nation was founded on.

 

 

Chosing a One Word

Dec18
Reading Time: 6 minutes

I don’t do New Year’s resolutions. Instead I stumbled upon the idea of one word which I first heard of in 2012 and decided to give it a try. My first word was for 2013 and was SHINE. Ah, don’t we all want to shine? That year I became an editor and started helping other authors on their journey to shining.

I’ve had ten more words since then and in 2014 I started adding Scripture. I eventually started making either Facebook headers or other images to help me as they would be there on my computer every time I sat down to work. I’m sharing some of them here so if they are helpful you could use them as well.

2014 was DIGNITY. My Scripture for that ws Proverbs 31:25, “Strength and dignity are her clothing, and she smiles at the future.” I’ll admit that was struggling with the effects of some verbal abuse and I think I thought this would help. It did. Words can hurt but my value and dignity are in Christ and in that I could wait on God for a better future.

2015 my word was TRUST. Psalm 143:8 says: “Let me hear of Thy lovingkindess in the morning; for I trust in Thee; Teach me the way in which I should walk; For to Thee I lift up my soul. I was taking steps to deepen my trust in God to lead me–and He has always been faithful to do that, even though I struggled to see that at times. My first full-length novel, Pesto & Potholes was released that year as well as my first novella, Fragile Blessings.

In 2016 my word was FEARLESS. I could have chosen brave or courage I suppose but fearless was the word I landed on. My verse was Isaiah 35:4, “Say to those with an anxious heart, ‘Take courage and fear not. Behold, your God wil come with vengeance; The recompense of God will come, but He will save you.'” More books released that year and there were challenges in my personal life that I needed to wait on God to resolve.

HOPE was my word for 2017. I actually had four Scriptures! God speaks a lot about hope in His word! Psalm 9:18, “For the needy will not always be forgotten, nor the hope of the afflicted perish forever.” Psalm 39:7, “And now, Lord, for what do I wait? My hope is in Thee.” Psalm 71:5 says, “For Thou art my hope; O Lord God, Thou art my confidence from my youth.” And then in the New Testament, Romans 5:5. “…and hope does not disappoint, because the love of God has been poured out within our hearts through the Holy Spirit who was given to us.” In the midst of difficulties a wise mentor had told me, “You need hope. Cling to hope.” So I did. With the decisions God led me to and through that year, I had hope and peace beyond what I would have ever anticipated. Again, He proved Himself faithful.

In 2018 my word was HEALING. While 2017 had been a challenging year, I was free of the anxiety and fears of the past and standing in confidence in God’s work. 2018 would be a year of healing from the wounds left behind. I wish I could state I was fully healed but trauma takes time and I’m grateful God is so gentle as He continues to walk me through that. The Bible verses I clung to were Psalm 147:3, “He heals the brokenherted, and binds up their wounds.” Jeremiah 33:6 states, “Behold, I will bring to it health and healing, and I will heal them; and I will reveal to them an abundance of peace and truth.” God allowed six of my stories to be published that year! That was a record for me! I also had rotator cuff surgery, my first major health issue since becoming a single mom of three Hobbits. And then in the midst of all that, He graciously brought me what I did not deserve, a husband for Christmas!

2019’s word was INTENTION. I didn’t understand it at the time, but years of trauma make it challenging for the brain to move into a healthy life. Life was good! Why couldn’t I focus and get the work done that I needed to do? Psalm 57:2, “I will cry to God Most High, to God who accomplishes all things for me.” Psalm 138:8, “The LORD will accomplish what concerns me; Thy lovingkindness, O LORD, is everlasting; Do not forsake the works of Thy hands.” God was definitely at work helping me understand how to help myself through this healing process while still getting my writing and editing done!

In 2020 my word was SAVOR. God had done so much for me and I wanted to reflect and enjoy those moments instead of rushing on to the next thing. Psalm 34:8 states, “O taste and see that the LORD is good; How blessed is the man who takes refuge in Him!” After years of hardship, I had some time to heal, be loved and cared for, and savor what God done. Covid-19 helped make that even more possible when the world seemed to shut down. The image is one I took from when my hubby and I went paragliding in Key West in 2019. Amazing and a first time for us both.

In 2021 my word was CONTENTMENT. 1 Timothy 6:6 says, “But godliness actually is a means of great gain, when accompanied by contentment.” Philippians 4:11b affirms this when Paul writes: “…I have learned to be content in whatever circumstances I am.” While similar to savor this was more finding the quiet joy in everydayness of life.

My word for 2022 was EMPOWERED. I had so much work to do. Several of my own books needed to be edited, there was more writing to be done, as well as edit for other authors, and although I only released two Christmas novellas, it was a busy year. I couldn’t do it without God’s help, especially juggling several projects at once. 2 Corinthians 9:8 says, “And God is able to make all grace abound to you, that always having all sufficiency in everything, you may have an abundance for every good deed.” Timothy 1:9 says, “… who has saved us, and called us with a holy calling, not according to our works, but according to His own purpose and grace whic hwas granted to us in Christ Jesus from all eternity.”

This past year, 2023, my word has been DELIGHT. Micah 7:18d-19a states, “Because He delights in unchanging love, He will again have compassion on us.” Psalm 94:18 says, “When my anxious thoughts multiply within me, Your comfort delights my soul.” Then this popular one from Psalm 37:4, “Delight yourself in the LORD; and He will give you the desires of your heart.” I wanted to grow in my delight in God and also to more fully recognize that as my heavenly Father, He delights in me as well. I find myself smiling a lot more as I’m reading Scripture or studying it. God has been good to me – even though I did fall and break my upper arm forcing us to cancel a trip to the Virgin Islands. We did go to Florida where we got to spend hours listening to a young man’s pain and hurt and answering his questions and sharing with him the hope of Christ.

I’m still praying and listening to the Holy Spirit for my one word for 2024. Only God knows what the next year holds for me and my family so I am waiting on Him to give me that word to focus on. I journal, I brainstorm (sometimes with friends who also do this). It’s amazing to me how God will take one word, and HIS word to help keep me moving forward in faith on this journey He has placed before me. It was good this year to go back and review the previous years to again give credit to the ONE who has given me HIS WORD to cling to.

Have you ever done the “one word” thing? What was your word for 2023 and how did you see God use that in your life? Do you have a word yet for 2024? If not, I hope that these will help you as you seek God for that.

Anonymous Gift

Dec11
Reading Time: 3 minutes

Over the years I’ve received gifts but it is rare for me to get one and not know who the sender was.

In December 2016, I had an awful Christmas. Our personal family celebration was depressing for me.

After Christmas I got a notice from the post office that there was a package waiting for me with postage due. It was under a dollar and I was intrigued. I went to the post office to pay for the package. It was a standard envelope that had to be hand stamped as there was a bulge in it and no return address. Whoever sent it had failed to realize it would cost more to get it to me.

I got home and eagerly opened this mysterious envelope. Inside was a silver necklace. It contained three pendants, a pearl, a silver circle with an engraved dove, and a larger silver circle with the words “She believed she could so she did.” There was no note. Nothing to identify the sender.

Whoa. First of all, I loved it. I found the words empowering and during that season I needed an infusion of hope. My word for that year had been fearless but I’d still had much fear. This necklace helped me have the courage to do what God led me to do the next year. I was heading into a year where my word for the year would be “hope.”

I wore that necklace all the time. It held no magical powers and to this day, seven-years-later, I still have no clue who sent it. It became a reminder that with God’s power, I could do anything He asked me to. Yes, I know that’s not on the necklace, but self-doubt is often the biggest stumbling block to obedience, isn’t it? It’s not as flawless as when I got it, filled with marks from the wear and tear it has taken, much like me! It still has value and importance.

I’m not saying I wouldn’t have had the courage to do what I needed to do for myself and my children a few months later, but those words were a reassurance that I would be just fine. I had no fear because I believed God was with me – leading, guiding, and providing. Two years later, I had a most wonderful gift of a husband for Christmas and this year we will be celebrating five years together of wonderful Christmases even though life has handed us some difficult challenges along the way.

I have occassionally sent anonymous gifts to someone. One time I got figured out which was disappointing but I understood it was a blessing nonetheless. I’m believing that whoever sent that gift was doing so at God’s leading. It meant more to me after a horrible Christmas as a reminder that God saw my grief and pain and loved me.

As we head into Christmas, the greatest gift wasn’t sent anonymously, although many people failed to recognize the Gift or the Sender. Jesus is the best gift ever!

As you give gifts, remember that sometimes it is the small things, the notes, the time spent over a cup of coffee or a meal, that have the most meaning. This gift was intensely personal and I had not shared with many people just how painfully difficult life was for me at that time. So, whoever sent it, thank you from the bottom of my heart. Your gift was a blessing you couldn’t have anticipated. Since I couldn’t thank a human person, I’ve repeatedly thanked God for the gift, the sender, and the hope it gave me in a season of darkness.

Have you ever received a gift, anonymous or not, that helped in a significant way with your walk with God? What was it?

Lessons Learned While Writing: Hero of My Story

May23
Reading Time: 2 minutes

After years of verbal abuse, I finally realized I had lapsed into helplessness and hopelessness. A friend once said to me, “Susan, you need hope.” I loved and served and prayed to Jesus and believed He was fully capable of rescuing me from my prison of pain.

During this time, I lead our church’s women’s ministry, and spent time encouraging other women and teaching them.

But I was stuck. I began to realize I was thinking and acting like a victim. A powerless victim. The more I read and understood about verbal abuse (which includes financial abuse and neglect and more), the more I began to seek the help I needed to grow and thrive even in the midst of my difficulty. Oh, I still cried, but I grew in my confidence and my ability to find the good in the midst of the pain.

I still struggled for hope that I would ever one day be released. The wonderful news is by the time I was, I was ready for the new life God had in store for me. The fears from the past had melted away. The belief that I was inadequate and unable to stand on my own, was gone. When God opened that door, freeing me, I was ready to walk into my new life without fear. He provided for me every step along the way and looking back I can only say it was by His grace that I made it, because on paper, I should never have been able to.

By God’s grace, I became a hero, a protagonist in my own story, not a pathetic byline. Now ultimately Jesus is the real hero. It was He who saved me at 15 years of age and has walked me through all of this. What a wonder that He could give me hope – in HIM and blessings beyond what I could have ever wished for.

In what ways do you perhaps feel a victim in your life? Look to Jesus for your hope. Change doesn’t take place overnight but He can move you and use you for HIS glory in the midst of your pain and in the future use that experience to bless others. Hold on, dear friend.

The Human Factor In Root Beer and Roadblocks

Mar1

Reading Time: 4 minutesrootbeerandroadblocks_300The path to publishing isn’t always a smooth ride. Today Root Beer & Roadblocks finally released in ebook form. A new publisher has meant a learning curve for author and editors alike. (The print version should be available in another week).

This is not the first time I’ve had a book delayed and to be honest- the delay (or roadblock!) was at my request. I wanted extra eyes on the manuscript but that takes time. I’m grateful my publisher didn’t rush to get the book out on deadline only to find it filled with some mistakes.

Funny thing is – even with me going over this with a fine-tooth comb many times, as well as my editor, copyeditor, three proofreaders, and my publisher, none of us found the same things wrong. We all saw things differently. So there is a chance that you could pick up this book and find something wrong as well that all of us missed in spite of the multiple times it’s been evaluated.

But that’s the point, isn’t it? We’re human. Flawed. Even with software programs that can help find errors the human factor can still influence things. My hope is that if you choose to read Johnny’s story, you’ll get so caught up in the journey he takes that anything that crosses your path, will be immediately forgotten as you read on. I wanted to give you a sneak peek into the first pages of the book.

February 2014

          Johnny jogged to his car and grabbed his Bible. Fatigue weighed him down as he locked the sedan, the book tucked under his arm. Heading back toward the church, a movement caught his attention. A little boy from his Sunday school classroom escaped his mother’s grasp and bolted his way, blind to a car backing out of its spot.

       “David, stop!” Johnny bolted and managed to get behind the moving vehicle to shove the child out of the way. The rear bumper struck his own leg and knocked him to the ground.

         The car’s wheels stopped just short of running him over. Thank you, Lord, for big tank cars with huge trunks. The child cried, and a woman picked up the boy. “It’s OK, David, you’ve only scraped your palms. This nice man saved you. How many times must I tell you not to run in parking lots? You are too small for cars to see you.” She hugged the little boy tight.

             Johnny dragged his legs out from under the car and struggled to his feet, bracing himself against the trunk to catch his breath. The elderly woman, who had been behind the wheel, toddled around to him. “Are you OK? I’m sorry. I didn’t see him. You moved so fast.”

          Johnny nodded. “No one would have seen him. It was an accident.” He patted her on the shoulder before he limped across the parking lot. Pain seared through his hip and leg with every step he took. Reaching the curb, he sank down to the cement, thankful it was clear of snow.

           His cousin Niko ran out of the church and knelt by his side. “Johnny, what happened?”

          “He rescued my son from getting run over by a car that was backing out. He took the hit.” A woman wearing a stocking cap and winter coat came up behind Niko with the weepy boy in her arms rubbing his eyes.

              Johnny shrugged. “What she said.”

             “You OK? Do we need to call an ambulance?‛ Niko’s gaze bore into him. The greater unspoken question loomed.

              Teeth gritted in pain, Johnny returned his cousin’s stare. “I want to sit through worship. You’re on stage in a few minutes. Help me inside. I have an appointment with my doctor tomorrow. It can wait until then.” He motioned for Niko to help him rise, and he did. The older woman came up to him and handed him a piece of paper.

                 “Here is my name, phone, and insurance information. Do you want to call the police and file a report? I wouldn’t blame you if you did.” Her arthritic, wrinkled hands were clenched tightly together as if in petition for mercy.

                “I doubt that’s necessary. Thank you, May.” He took the paper and shoved it in his shirt pocket. David’s mom passed him his Bible, which he’d dropped. The leather was brushed clean.

“Are you sure you’re OK? I’m a nurse. I could take a look.” Her face instantly turned three shades of red as she realized her inspection would involve him taking off his jeans.

               Johnny smiled and leaned forward. “In my younger days, that would have been an offer too good to pass up, but I visit my doctor tomorrow. It’ll wait.”

 

Here’s a video – instrumental of Burlap to Cashmere’s song “Dialing God.” The guy on the right is the real-life Johnny that I based this character on. Enjoy!

 

Spatzle Speaks: Hoping for Joy (Book Review)

Dec16

Reading Time: 2 minutes51sbsfx7llPrism Book Group has released another book in their “Love is…” series of romances based on 1 Corinthians 13:4-8.  Hoping for Joy by Penelope Marzec is about love always hoping.

Hannah isn’t your typical blushing bride-to-be. She’s beginning to wonder whether her fiance will ever marry her. He’s preoccupied with helping his father care for his niece, Joy and keeping Joy’s mother, his sister, out of jail as she repeatedly gets in trouble with her addictions.

While Hannah understands the challenges he’s facing, she’s feeling a tad neglected and as if she’s not important to him. He’s not even a believer.

Logan is overwhelmed with responsibilities and really doesn’t think of his fiancee all that much until she’s attacked and almost killed by his sister during a robbery. But how can he balance the needs of Hannah with those of a little girl, a lost sister and a father who’s health is failing. How can he salvage his relationship with Hannah in the midst of all that?

Spatzle Baganz, book reviewer for the silygoos blog because that's how we roll.

Spatzle Baganz, book reviewer for the silygoos blog because that’s how we roll.

This is a story of lost hopes and dreams giving birth to new ones and as a dog, I adore children so little Joy was my favorite part. That and she has the same name as someone in my house! A romantic suspense that will warm your heart. I give it five bones, because I’m a dog and I don’t do stars.

5 bones for blog

Interview with Renata Blake

Feb16

Reading Time: 3 minutes

Renata from Pesto and Potholes

Renata from Pesto and Potholes

Meet Renata Blake. Her story is featured in the novel Pesto and Potholes releasing March 27, 2015.

Renata, how do you feel about your story being told?

Initially I wasn’t too happy about it. I’ve had plenty of bad press in the past and the last thing I need is my family getting wind of this book. They already hate me enough . . . and they don’t come out looking too good in the retelling. But it is real. This is my life. All the ugliness and the beauty.

What do you hope will be the outcome of your story being shared in this way?

That those who are hurting would find hope. As the book cover says, “The road to healing is filled with potholes.” Also that if someone isn’t involved in a good church, that they would seek one out. The relationships I made at Orchard Hill Church were a significant part of my healing process.

PestoandPotholes2Tell us about Antonio.

*giggles* Tony is sweet and handsome, but more than that, he always respected me. That was so new for me to experience. I heard about that book and movie that came out, Fifty Shades of Grey. That’s not love. Trust me, no woman wants a man who is going to control and abuse her. But Tony, he’s one of the good guys and he loves Jesus which I think made a huge difference.

Do you like Italian food?

I’ve always loved Italian food . . . but I have a far deeper appreciation for it now. *she winks*.

Do you still battle ninjas?

(sly grin). I haven’t had the occasion to lately, but suspect I’m still capable.

What’s up next for you?

I’m excited that my roommate Stephanie gets a chance to tell her amazing story next. I don’t know if I could have made it this far without her love and support and I’m glad I got to return the favor when life became difficult for her. I don’t want to give any spoilers away.

One last question. What’s your favorite song right now?

Oh, wow. I love so many but the one that resonates most with my soul is Broken Hallelujah by the Afters.  If I were a songwriter, I could have written that song. Hallelujah means to “God be praised,” and I’m grateful that even when I was weak and broken He could still hear and accept my shattered heart. I look back now in such gratitude for all He’s done. May all the praise and glory be to Him.

Thank you, Renata, or taking the time out of your crazy schedule.

Thank you for sharing about Susan’s book. I’m so grateful she had the courage to tell my story. Maybe others will find healing and hope in Jesus because of it. Pesto facebook header 2 PicMonkey Collage