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Author Confessions: Rocks as Treasure

Mar2
Reading Time: 3 minutes

Author Confessions: Rocks as Treasure

Now when I talked about rocks a few weeks ago here, I was looking perhaps at a more spiritual dimension of the idea of rocks. The reality is we often highly value rocks!

For instance, I wear a lovely diamond ring that my husband bought for me. It didn’t have to fancy and they are lab-made diamonds but they are still rocks. It it is beautiful and I treasure it because of what it symbolizes in my marriage. He’s frugal and managed to purchase it off Craigslist. The man who sold it scrimped and saved to use to propose to his girlfriend but before he could do so, she cheated on him. The ring is worth far more than he paid for it because of that. It doesn’t matter. It was a gift from him. I’ve known some women whose husband designed their wedding rings without their soon-to-be-wife’s input. While the rings is unique and lovely, it isn’t what they would have prefered, but they don’t say anything because of the thought, time, and effort that the husband put into the design. Even if it wasn’t what they wanted, they wear them proudly and treasure them.

I’m not one for fancy jewelry. I’m not a fancy-pants kind of gal. Sure I can dress up nice, but I’m not about glitter and glammer. Most of my jewelry contains synthetic versions of stones I wanted to have to wear from a ruby, pink star sapphire, blue start stapphire, among other stones. Yet when my daughter had significant birthdates, I purchased for her jewelry with her real birthstone: ring, earrings, necklace. I don’t know if she appreciates them at this time, but they are hers. My birthday has two birthstones and one is quite pricey. I bought a synthetic one. Alexandrite is cool because it changes colors depending on the light. A real one is normally red and green. My fake one is green and purple. It’s still a cool rock.

In Scripture, pearls were highly valued. We are not to toss them before swine and a man sold everything to buy a field where he found buried pearls. Pearls themselves are interesting because they are dirt that has been encapsulated over time as a defense against an intruder. An oyster’s refuse becomes a person’s treasure.

In Scripture the pearl is a metaphor for faith in Jesus. Sacrificial, and a treasure to be protected. The solid rock that is Christ is a gem of great beauty and we won’t get to fully see that until we get to heaven.

There are many other things we can treasure, obviously rocks are not my main desire in life. Anything I might hold as more important than the treasure of Jesus Christ and His extravagant gift of salvation through death on the cross, and His miraculous resurrection, is trash. Sometimes, I’m my own biggest stumbling block to my faith.

Scripture talks about precious stones, silver, and gold, lining the roads or walkways of heaven. As gorgeaous as they are they will be trod upon but those who find their salvation in Him. When the time comes I’ll appreciate the beauty of all those rocks even more as I worship the Savior I treasure above all else.

How about you? We vare currently in a season of lent. What treasures do you need to loosen your grip on to focus on the treasure of Jesus Christ?

Author Confessions: Stumbling Blocks in Fiction, Part II

Feb23
Reading Time: 5 minutes

Author Confessions: Stumbling Blocks in Fiction, Part II

In my last post I wrote about the generic issue of stumbling blocks in fiction, but there are more that are specific to the Christian genre. For some, writing with these restrictions can be challenging, but for a devoted follower of Christ they should be easier to avoid.

Denomination bias

This one could be the most challenging for some. We all love our individual “tribes” of denominations and some believe they are superior to others. Of course, there are some that border on cultish. There is a branch of Amish fiction which deals more with the culture of the Amish than the religion itself although the strict rules often come into play and those are religious. With Amish fiction, it would be hard to not mention that they were Amish as no other people group operates quite the way they do. I’ve refused to write Amish fiction even though when I had an agent, she urged me to because they sell well. I told her I thought they bordered on cultish and I didn’t want to glorify that kind of religious belief system. Maybe someday I will write one about how abusive they are to dogs they are breeding since I have two Amish puppy mill rescues.

Demoninations can be specific about some things. There’s a meme that goes around about other things but could apply to church denominations: Tell me your denomination without telling me your denomination. We need to focus more on Jesus than a specific church denomination. This way we don’t alienate readers.

I will confess, I broke this rule in my book Fragile Blessings because as a historical novella, there were times when denominations had conflict and that was highlighted, but neither denomination was condemned or elevated.

Gratitous Sin

Sin is going to infiltrate our stories because we can’t escape sin and it’s impact on our lives in this world. Sin brings about conflict and navigating that conflict makes a story insteresting. Having said that an author needs to avoid elevating any kind of behavior that might be construed as more destructive. For instance, in my Regency romancees, I have a disclaimer about drinking. It was a cultural thing for that time period and culture, and when someone became intoxicated it had disasterous results. I never would want any thing I write to be taken as permission, for someone who struggles with alcohol, for instance, to take that as permission to give in to that addiction. As my husband says, “No one starts out having a drink of alcohol intending on becoming an alcoholic.” Do I believe drinking is a sin? No. However, because some do struggle with it I will never put that as a common practice in my books.

When it comes to sex, that also is not a sin within marriage. I don’t want to deny the desire and physical attraction characters may have for each other but it will only ever be between a man and woman and consumation will not happen until after marriage. I do not want anyone to read my books and find them tittiltating. I used to do some proofreading for another publishing house I was originally contracted with, and one story had just one line in it that I thought went too far with its suggestiveness. I did tell the publisher but I have no awareness of whether that was deleted or changed in the story as it was about to go to print. I hope it was. When my children were younger, I wanted my books to be safe for even my children to read. A former pastor used to read my books as well and enjoyed them. I will stand before God someday for what I write.

Normalizing destructive behaviors

I’ve already mentioned alcohol but the same would be true with murder, cheating, lying, abuse. Anything that can be destructive to another person whould never be promoted in a clean or Christian novel as acceptable. Those behaviors might be part of a story, but not promoted as good. Pesto and Potholes starts out with domestic abuse. In Salsa and Speed Bumps my character deals with the aftermath of a date rape and the consequences of Christians making wrong assumptions about her condition to disasterous effect. Truffles and Traffic deals with the aftermath of a divorce. In all those stories there is redemption as the people lean on God to get them through the pain and trauma they experienced. I could cite many other stories as well. A Christian author never wants to promote sinful behavior as acceptable or permissable for the believer in Jesus.

Foul language

This can be difficult. Funny thing is, as much as people love to swear or tell dirty jokes, it’s amazing how they can change their behavior when they need to. When I worked in the field of mental health, my clients, without me asking, refused to swear or use other foul language in front of me. They understood by my actions that I was a Christian. In fiction, we have unredeemed people who are doing bad things, and while using foul langage is the norm for some authors, the Christian author has to be more creative in the use of their words and descriptions to give a foul character realism. We might even say someone “cursed under their breath,” not promoting that but also not using any words they might use.

An author must be careful of the words even our characters use, even if in real like someone might be swearing, we can’t put that on the page.

Twisted Theology or Unique Theological Differences 

There are so many theological differences that could be at issue. I had an author whose main character was a female pastor. I’m not going to debate whether women can be pastors or not, that’s not the point. It is, however, a bone of contention for many believers. I told her I could not publish her book. We spoke with an agent who was sitting nearby. He said that it would limit the reach of the book and certain bookstores would refuse to carry a book with that as a main component. For those with more controversial issues that they want central to a plot line in a story, that doesn’t mean they can never publish their story, self-publishing is more popular than ever. Authors just need to be aware that some publishing houses won’t accept that.

I’ve had to help authors make minor corrections to descriptions describing the crux of the gospel in their stories. If the gospel is being presented in some way it needs to be clear and avoid any add-ons or misunderstandings. We never want a book to be preachy, but if a character comes to Christ we need to handle that with excellence even as we are creative in our story telling.

Life is complicated but stumbling blocks in fiction are not only for purposes of publication. Stumbling blocks in fiction can upset a Christian reader and cause them to stop reading or write a negative review. Stumbling blocks in fiction could also tempt someone to sin, or keep them from taking the next step of faith. None of these things are good, so a wise author will be careful to avoid them. Can you think of any other stumbling blocks you might have come across in Christian fiction?

Author Confessions: Stumbling Blocks in Fiction Part 1

Feb16
Reading Time: 5 minutes

Author Confessions: Stumbling Blocks in Fiction Part 1

After writing last weeks post which you can find here, I started thinking of stumbling blocks in fiction. I’m going to focus mostly on Christian fiction as there are differences between that and the secular marketplace.

I used to be a reader that if I read the back page and liked the concept and checked out the book–I would read it to the end. It wasn’t too many years into adulthood that I decided it wasn’t worth my time if I wasn’t enjoying the story. Readers now are being more particular.

Here are some examples of stumbling blocks that authors sometimes overlook but will possibly cause a less interested reader to move past and finish a book. These are also things that as an editor might cause me to reject submisson.

Slow start

Sometimes an author can get caught up in writing very descriptive scenes with eloquent words that really say nothing but they sound nice. And this can go on for more than a paragraph where as a reader, I’m left wondering, “What is this story about? Who is it about? When does this take place?” Now having said that, in older literature this was the norm. Creative writing and beautifully crafted scenese before you ever truly understand what is going on in the story. That doesn’t work as well now.

Annoying characters

Characters should be likable. Thus says the author who has enjoyed quirky and sometimes annoying characters as Sherlock, Doc Martin, and House. Characters should have some relatable qualities that make them likable, or at least tolerable. Quirky isn’t necessarily annoying but that depends upon the person. A character might have some personalilty defect but if the reader doesn’t sense that they might change as the story progresses, they are not likely to stick with the story.

Too many people or complicated names

I’ve read science fiction and that genre is spectacular for the made up and sometimes difficult to pronounce names. I had a character in Truffles and Traffic initially called Benedict and one of the editors told me that was too harsh sounding so I changed it to Benjamin, which wasn’t a painful decision as it’s one of my favorite names, and that was before I met my husband. When I wrote the book Pesto and Potholes, Antonio has a large family and I actually had a genogram of all the relations in the order in which they were related to help me keep the story straight. Thankfully, only a few made significant enough appearances that it was easier for the reader to not worry about how all the rest were connected. I wanted the family tree in the book but was told I  couldn’t do that. :-(.  Stumbling over names or having names too similar even, can make it hard for the reader to navigate the story, and anything that pulls the reader out of the story, even to look back to see who is connected to who, is frowned upon.

The story doesn’t move along

Stories that drag from the start or start out gang-busters and then fizzle will challenge the most ardent reader. I find this even when we are watching movies or television series that if they start out slow and the pace plods along, my husband will tell me to find something else. Maybe it gets better by episode three but they lost us in the first fifteen minutes. The same is true for a piece of fiction. The first sentence, paragraph, five pages, might determine whether a reader keeps going. As an editor, I’m often generus enough to read through chapter 3. When editing a book its possible that the real story starts there and I’ll need to tell the author to revise and delete the first two chapters. When I started out writing, I had to do this myself when I realized my error and a kind mentor pointed it out to me. Nothing wasted, but it would have been if it had gone to print that way.

I also read story submissions to the end. I don’t rely on the author’s synopsis. I’ve had books cross my laptop that started out strong but fell apart quickly. Huge disappointment but I’m glad I didn’t offer a contract to them. It would have meant a lot more work for me and the author because the book wasn’t ready.

Time and place are ambiguous

Who, what, where, when, and why, are not only key words for a journalist, but for an author as well. If I can’t tell if the book is historical, sci-fi, fantasy, or contemporary, right away, it is a red-flag and annoys me to no end. Where is it taking place? Is it in America, Africa, Germany, Cuba, Mars, a space-station? Is it during the civil war, WWII, the 80’s, or 2278? If the author can’t tell me that in plain words or by their description, I get incredibly frustrated.  Thankfully, that’s only crossed my desk a handful of times and they were a quick rejection but I did give them my complaint so they could do better. It’s not something I’m required to do but when it’s stuff like that and I’m irritated enough, I will, and hopefully save some other poor reader that frustration.

Main character does foolish things

Now we all do foolish things at times. Maybe I should say stupid things? These have to be pretty big or perhaps dangerous and perhaps even triggering. Not every story is for every reader but no reader wants to spend the six or more hours reading a book, yelling at the character “No!” time and time again. It gets exhausting.

Lack of change or growth in the main character

Characters should change through the story, whether it’s an emotional growth, relationship choices, spiritual, or simply gaining in wisdom that provides a benefit for themselves and others. If the character ends the story in the same state he or she started out, it will leave a bad taste in the mind of the reader.

I realize I’ve talked about some of these things over the years and this is a different, if not negative, approach to the stumbling blocks in fiction. It’s not a conclusive list by any means. But even as a reader I bet you’ll be more aware when you pick up the next book and either you’ll be cheering for the author because they got it right and you’ll enjoy the story, or you’ll find yourself as frustrated as I do when these things happen.

Reminder, I’m not perfect and I’ve made these mistakes in the past. And I might make them in the future. I hope I’ve grown enough as an author that these stumbling blocks in fiction don’t show up in my stories, and if you find them there (because this can be subjective) then I humbly apologize.

 

Author Confessions: Stumbling Block

Feb9
Reading Time: 4 minutes

Author Confessions: Stumbling Block

We dug a large hole on our property to build a home. We knew we would hit bedrock, even at the higher elevation of the land there. The excavator was told this but wasn’t prepared to dig bedrock. We spent a few weeks with machines that helped break it up so we could get a decent level down a few feet from the surrounding ground.

Bedrock is difficult to break up and the pieces were large and heavy. While down in what would eventually become our basement, I was helping my hubby, and on my way to get something over a broken rock surface, I ended up running head first into a back hoe. Unfortunately my head is not made of rock so it rang my bell.

It reminded me of this:

For this is contained in Scripture:

“Behold, I am laying in Zion a choice stone, a precious cornerstone,
And the one who believes in Him will not be put to shame.”

 This precious value, then, is for you who believe; but for unbelievers,

“A stone which the builders rejected,
This became the chief cornerstone,”

and,

“A stone of stumbling and a rock of offense”;

for they stumble because they are disobedient to the word, and to this they were also appointed.

2 Peter 2:6-8 NASB

We have a firm foundation in Jesus Christ. He is the solid rock, the foundation upon which His followers base their faith. But like me stumbling over blocks of broken bedrock, it is easy for even a believer to stumble on parts of His teaching. None of us wil be perfect to be sure, but some stumble over even basic things. For instance: Jesus is the Word of God. I heard someone proclaim that she only followed Jesus and didn’t need the Bible. That shocked me since Jesus relied heavily on Scripture as did His followers and he is the WORD made flesh.

The Bible had become a stumbling block so she tossed it aside.

Scripture encourages us to be in community with each other, worshipping God, teaching, and encouraging one another. This provides prayer and support, but also accountability as we travel on our journey of faith. For some, church has become a stumbling block. Maybe it was a toxic or abusive person in the church, or they are avoiding facing the truth about their sin, but church becomes a stumbling block.

I love most the accusation that all Christians are hypocrites. We all have our blind spots and we all fail but as we seek Jesus we are hopefully becomeing more and more conformed to His image. However, no matter how faithful we can be, someone might see us as a stumbling block.

What is the key part of all that? What did they really stumble over? It wasn’t really just a pebble or even a boulder, it was Jesus Christ Himself. Scripture says that clearly. When we stumble over the Rock of Jesus Christ, we are in sin. Avoiding Scripture, church, and other believers, is a way to avoid being confronted with the truth of our sinfulness.

And that is when a person can walk into a back hoe. A back hoe can be used to dig graves and that is exactly what those people are doing by choosing to listen only Jesus speaking to their hearts (which can be deceived), avoiding church, and and ignoring Scripture, even if what their actions violate the tenants of the faith. Or avoiding church if one claims to be a follower of Christ. Oh, the riches we miss out on when not living in community with one another. And then avoiding Christians all together. We are to be known by love but sometimes we are known more by a list of dos and don’ts.

People are messy and even Jesus had to face the people around him being greedy, prideful, arguing, betraying, but also listening, learning, and growing to the degree that they were able to go out and change the world with the gospel.They taught that He had come to die for our sins, and rose again, ascended ot heaven and is our Savior and Lord. In a world of shifting sand, and opinions being touted as facts, Jesus Christ is the Rock we all need to stand on and cling to. Only in Him can we find stability.

So what has become a stumbling block in your life? Social media? News? Political opinions? Church? A part of Scripture that is convicting you? A fellow Christian who fails to live up to what you think a Christian should be, or has failed you in some way due to where they are at on their own sanctification journey?

I don’t want to be a stumbling block to anyone, but sometimes what causes people to stumble is beyond my control. Sometimes, what causes me to stumble is initially beyond my control but that doesn’t mean it’s irredeemable. We change course, with the help of the Holy Spirit and get on firmer footing with Jesus. I’d love to hear your thoughts on this!

 

Author Confessions: Groundhog Day

Feb2
Reading Time: 3 minutes

Author Confessions: Groundhog Day

Today is the anniversary of when my first baby was supposed to be born. He was much like a groundhog in that he didn’t want to come out until a week later and even then it was against his will (C-section).

Around the Nothern Hemisphere, poor little groundhogs will be hauled out of their cozy burrows so humans can see if there’s a shadow. It’s a funny tradition and other nations around the world have different ways to predict the end of winter. The reality is, the idea that winter will end immediately is ridiculous. It’s usually six weeks more before we can see the light at the end of the tunnel with winter. Groundhog Day is a nice way to pause and give a little hope to each other that spring will come.

Emotionally, many of us hibernate in other ways. We don’t share ourselves with others, afraid to speak out or afraid to be known. Or perhaps we have an ability or gift but we’re afraid to share that. Matthew 5:16 states: “Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works, and glorify your Father who is in Heaven.” (KJV). A person may be shy or introverted, or perhaps even wounded by previous experiences. Finding a safe place to share all that God has given us can be tricky. Even in the church.

1 Corinthians 1:3-4 says: Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our affliction so that we will be able to comfort those who are in any affliction with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God. (NASB)

God has designed us to be in community. If a church is not healthy or toxic, and you can’t resolve that, it is better to go find another one where you can safely use your gifts and experiences to help others. That is not a leave one week – start serving somewhere else the next, kind of timeline. Sometimes we need help to recover from those wounds suffered, yes, even by those in the church, including church leadership.

Perhaps we need a season of healing in there. That doesn’t mean we still can’t be engaged in community and be a blessing to those we interact with in and out of the church. We don’t get to be a groundhog and hide away from the world. You and others will miss out on so many blessings if one chooses to be a groundhog.

It might feel as though God drags us out of our little burrow before we feel ready. I think He often delights in showing off His power in and through us when we are weak and believe we have nothing to offer. We’re wrong about that. We all have something to offer in some way shape or form and it might not be a specific role that you’re in. The phrase “one another” appears at least 269 times in the Bible. Our presence is sometimes the gift.

Covid taught us the dangers of hibernation. Kids suffered, loneliness exploded, and people died. In and out of the church we are called, as Christians, to serve one another, love, care for, minister, encourage…. one another. That goes beyond the church, because loving actions and a sweet spirit as we interact with people can be a blessing to any and all we meet as we go about our lives.

This is all very simplistic but I think the principles generally hold. Even if others don’t reciprocate, our willingness to stick our necks out, honors God and He’s the One who really matters.

Do you have any Groundhog Day tendencies? Why do you want to hide? What are you hiding? Ask God to show you how you can be a blessing to someone else this week.

Author Confessions: Slow Down

Jan26
Reading Time: 4 minutes

Author Confessions: Slow Down

Winter kind of slows everything down doesn’t it? Maybe that’s a signal to us that we should pause a little more as well. Slowing down is often easier said than done.

Sabbath Rest

We try to honor the Sabbath. We attend church and in the summer, we might play mini-golf and grill out. Sometimes we would do dinner with friends. We were challenged with keeping this when we were going through our packing, showing, selling, moving out, and moving into a small, temporary residence. I’m still amazed at how hard we both physically worked during that time period. We still sought to rest on Sunday.

Slowing  down and taking a Sabbath rest is recognizing that God is in control and I’m not. I can let Him take care of the things that weigh on my mind that I sometimes think are so important that only my efforts can make a difference.

Sabbath doesn’t have to be one particular day. Two weeks ago we had a Friday where we hadn’t planned for it but ended up working really hard. Heavy lifting, carrying, loading trailers in the cold. It was not fun but we had a good crew who didn’t give up even though we would have all liked to quit. The next day, I fully expected my hubby to head to the shop. There was plenty to be done. Instead he decided rest was a better option. I could have worked, even with him in our tiny space, but I decided that it was more important to rest with him. We rested again on Sunday. I think we really needed it.

So what did we do? It wasn’t our regular Sabbath rest. We debated going out to look at flooring for our build, or even playing indoor mini-golf, but we decided we preferred to be home. The only time I left was to take the dogs outside to do their business. I started a new embroidery project and worked on a 3D puzzle. We also played some games but mostly chilled and watched some television. I think my hubby might have even napped for a little while in his favorite recliner.

When I served at church on Sunday mornings, I rested in the afternoon but also tried to give myself more time on Monday to rest, reflect, and not rush into the week. God designed us to need rest. It is important physically, emotionally, and spiritually to practice that.

Slowing Down Daily

I start every morning slow which is honestly, hard to do in some ways but I’ve found it essential for a good day. I spend time in God’s word, I journal, perhaps do my homework for Bible Study. I might even read a little. All this with a cup of spiced chai. This is a habit I’ve done even while I was in graduate school. Neighbors would laugh at me getting up so early, but even when my kids were little I would get up before they would wake up for a few minutes of peace and quiet.

I sometimes want to rush throught things but I’m learning more and more that slowing  down my pace and taking my writing and other work slower, I can relax and actually enjoy it more. Instead of thinking of all the other things that need to be done and rushing to get throught the present to rush into the future, I’m learning to take a breath, stretch, and focus on the here and now.

Slowing Down a Story

In writing we often try to keep a steady pace between highs and lows in a story. Sometimes with thrillers or suspense type novels, however, you often find the pace faster. Just as in life sometimes a person can be hit with all kinds of difficulties and crisis at the same time, that can be reflected in fiction. The reader becomes emotionally breathless without a break in the action, even if they put the book down for a time, since the story progresses at a rapid rate of challenges. I’ve read books like this but it is a wild ride!

Often dialogue or inner thoughts on the page will slow down a story and give the reader a break before joining the character as they tackle the next event the author tosses at them. The ups and downs make the reading more enjoyable. A diary of a day-in-the- life of many of use would be boring, so the action is essential in fiction, just as it often is in life.

How do you slow down? I’d be interested in what that means for you. Reading a book? Sometimes for me that is now work (although it can be fun!). What kinds of things do you do to relax and refresh yourself? Are you able to do that weekly? How about slowing down during each day? What tips and tricks might you have for that?

Author Confessions: Purge, Delete, and Simplify

Jan19
Reading Time: 4 minutes

Author Confessions: Purge, Delete, and Simplify

I was deleting a bunch of emails this morning and it hit me how cluttered life gets. Right now I live in a tiny apartment and there truly isn’t enough space for everything to have it’s own place that is easy to find and manage. I try to file my papers and receipts and keep things in order but the mess often overwhelms me.

Now part of this might just be me and my ADHD brain. But I do understand that when the clutter is cleared up, there is an emotional benefit.

When I moved 7 years ago, I sold, purged, and gave away a lot of things. When we moved this last summer I did the same. My husband joked that he liked my way of moving by selling stuff. All my bookshelves were sold. They were not strong enough to keep being moved and moved and moved without falling apart – so I sold them cheap to others who would benefit and enjoy them. Once we can occupy our home, I can try to figure out what I want for bookshelves. Maybe my husband could do a built in bookcase? He could but he has so many other projects and I wouldn’t trust myself with his saws to make it myself. I’ll probably be back on Facebook marketplace to find what I need.

I digress. As we are moving into this new year, what about things you might want to purge, delete, and simplify?

I’m going to spitball some things:

  • Less screen time
  • Less impulse shopping
  • Less negative thinking
  • Less criticism and judgement
  • Less social media posturing about politics

I know someone who years ago gave up physical books. He went to everything on his kindle. I can’t do that as much as I do love reading on my kindle, there is something about physical books…  Having said that, I might be purging, as against my wishes, boxes of books ended up in a storage hoop that eventually collapsed under heavy, wet snow. I won’t know until spring if the books were damaged by moisture. Cardboard boxes only provide so much protection, but I was assured they would be fine and my requests for them to be wrapped in plastic were forgotten. I could have moved them, but I couldn’t get at them without hurting myself, so I surrended. Our wood stove might have some extra fuel if those books are damaged, and I’ll need to re-evaluate whether I purchase those titles again in hardcover or paperback…or get kindle copies if I think I still might want them.

Getting rid of things, and thoughts, often leaves a vacuum which can easily be filled with something else. I can clean off our kitchen table but it soon becomes a dumping ground. We are unable to NOT think of something. Just thinking about not thinking of something forces you to think about it.

So perhaps instead of less screen time, pick up a book or do a hobby. Or instead of avoiding Amazon, re-evaluate your closet or shop at a thrift store if you want something “newer” in your wardrobe. I have some pieces I’m still wearing and love after many, many years that I found that way. Instead of negative thinking, how about thinking about positive things: practicing gratitude, or memorizing Scripture. Let praise and compliments flavor your speech instead of focusing on criticism. Not that we can’t speak the truth in love, but perhaps focus on positive things more. As for social media? Decide who you really want people to see there, and what they walk away with when they think of you and your posts. Granted, if that’s your job, fine, but otherwise, perhaps shine a light in the darkness instead of contributing to the mess.

I’m preaching to myself here.

As a writer we often try to get rid of redundant phrases or words that are unnecessary. The same is true in life. I’m a writer and will confess to an overabundance of writing implements and notepads. Yes, I do a majority of my writing on my laptop but I do still love pen/pencil and paper for many things. Too often not being able to find paper or pen has given me a need to have them everwhere! I’ve even got my hubby using legal pads to make lists – but he often uses a marker to write things down big on those pads as he outlines the things he doesn’t want to forget!  Even on my laptop there are far more files than need to be there and some are saved on external hard drives because I can’t seem to be bothered to erase them. The rough draft of a novel I wrote over 10 years ago doesn’t really need to be saved, does it?

How about people or relationships? I firmly believe that people are important and we need to make time to develop and foster good relationships, but not all of them are beneficial. Where do you draw the line and stop trying to connect with people that aren’t reciprocating? Or perhaps are using you? That can be difficult to do and I’m not saying be mean and cut people out of your life all together unless they are toxic, then no-contact is great. What I am saying is: be wise about who you spend your time with. Focus on those relationships where you can. When that door closes on their side, walk away knowing God has someone else to connect with that He will reveal in His due time. The waiting can be hard.

It’s not spring yet, or time for spring cleaning, but I know that when I’m done writing this post I’m taking out the garbage and loading up paper waste in my car along with some others stuff that needs to be gone from our space. Once that happens I’ll emotionally be in a better place to tackle the other things on my to do list. None of it is fun, but it is necessary.

How about you? What do you need to purge, delete, or simplify in your life? I’d love to hear your ideas!

 

Author Confessions: To Know or Not to Know?

Jan5
Reading Time: 3 minutes

Author Confessions: To Know or Not to Know?

I’m sitting here trying to get stuff done and trying to not fret about all the things that I need to do at some point. Funny how I was editing a book and my own words, written to my character, resonated with what I needed to hear today:

Ask God for the next best step to take right now.

I’m a planner. I like to know the plan. I can be flexible but it can emotionally be more of a stretch for me. The irony of that? When I write I don’t plan. I might have a back page blurb or even a character intereview but usually I don’t know how the story is going to unfold. Writing becomes a fun adventure.

Real life is truly no different. I am aware that there are certainties I will face this year and need to prepare for: taxes, building a house, eventually moving, finishing up some books so they can come out in November. Thinking about those things…and the multitude of steps and amount of time and energy they each require–can stress me out! And those are the things I am aware of! God may have other surprises up His sleeve (please, let them be fun ones!).

A wise person confronted me last week, telling me I’m too hard on myself. I expect too much of me, and can be overly critical when I don’t reach my own unrealistic expectations. Be present. Live in the moment.

Wow. That’s hard in so many ways when the future problems are twirling around in my brain!

So what am I doing? Writing a blog post about what I’m struggling with right now. After that? I’ll ask God.

In many ways, living in the present means enjoying every moment as it happens. I do have moments where I can do that. Some tasks I undertake, eliminate my ability to muse about the future. Most of those I enjoy. Playing guitar (when I took lessons) made it impossible to focus on anything else. Creating something new, embroidery, puzzles, making cards. On the not so fun side: organizing paperwork for our taxes!

Unfortunately I can’t spend my entire life doing those things alone. But blog posts won’t write themselves, and I have other things to do, that might get me “out of my head” as it were, and maybe I’ll be able to set aside all the anxieties over things that haven’t happened yet, and enjoy the moment in the here and now.

Sponteneity doesn’t come easy for me (except in writing a story), but God will continue to grow me in my abilitly to  appreciate the surprises He has for me so I can relax and enjoy the many gifts He’s giving… as He gives them.

Whatever happens in the future–He will  be there for me in that moment as well.

Happy 2026! Praying you can live in the moment too and savor the many gifts our Savior gives. I’m curious if you are a know or not to know person- planner or spontaneous. What keeps you in the present moment?

Author Confessions: Wherever You Go – There You Are

Dec29
Reading Time: 2 minutes

Author Confessions: Wherever You Go – There You Are

Christmas is past and the New Year around the corner. Many will try to make resolutions. Fitness, Diet, or other goals will be set. There is nothing wrong with that, but the reality is, changing our externals, while it can feel hopeful, doesn’t always work.

When I was in a band, one of my favorite songs to sing was Mend Me by Big Tent Revival. I think of it every year around this time because it highlights something important–we can’t force change on ourselves. We need the Holy Spirit to be doing the work but in order for that to happen, we need to be humble and submit to Him. Not an easy thing to do. We’d rather get a gym membership than bend our knee.

New Years Eve and this is what I see staring at these faces staring back at me
Sometimes insecure but I know Your love is pure
I am broken – mend me
Over backwards – bending
For the love Your sending

All the places that I’ve been Still I can’t ecscape this life of sin
What I want to do I don’t do what I do I don’t want to do
I am broken – mend me
Over backwards – bending
For the love Your sending

Days have come and days have gone and still I’m under siege. Every day decisions made for which side to allege. Some nights and sit and cry words I can’t erase. All I have in this world is the promise of Your grace

You made the universe and You can mend me

What do you think? Wherever you go – there You are–but for the grace of God we can’t make true changes. Happy New Year!

Author Confessions: What Do You Treasure?

Dec22
Reading Time: 3 minutes

Author Confessions: What Do You Treasure?

I love to give gifts and struggle to find the best one for people. I would prefer something they would treasure. Perhaps even something they didn’t know they needed or wanted that would bring them joy.

I doubt the majority of people recognized the treasure that rested in the arms of Mary. Sure shepherds came to visit in the middle of the night. I can’t imagine the disturbance. Even giving birth in a hospital, all you really want is to be with your baby and rest!

When I’ve been sick or in deep pain, it’s amazing how much the material things of this world fade away. Life narrows in those darker moments of life when the material fades and all that remains is us–and a holy God who is in control of the next moment.

While I fret about things like getting my dog to pee outside when the temperatures are freezing, or what to make for dinner, in a hearbeat all of those concerns vanish and become insignificant.

I’m not trying to minimize the daily concerns we all deal with. The challenges to pay the bills, respond to the emails, make sure everyone is doing well in our homes, including our pets. Those are real-life responsibilities we need to take seriously.

But in the bigger scheme of things, will the time spent fretting about them be something I will even remember six months or a year from now and look back and think they were important?

What do you treasure?

Some people put treasures in safes. Some display them. And yet Mary, pondered the events surrounding the night of Christ’s birth, treasuring them in her heart.

So what sticks? What lasts? While there may be many things in the end I think it might boil down to four:

  1. Faith. When we have a deep faith and have buried God’s Word in our hearts, that lasts. It provides comfort and solace as we cling to the Word made flesh: Jesus.
  2. People. You can have a wide network of people on social media but who is it you would drop everything for to be there if they were in need? Who would do that for you? Hold those people close and treasure those relationships. Quality relationships take time, but are worth the sacrifice. Pets might make this grouping as well.
  3. Memories. It is amazing how our brain can bring back memories and hopefully will help us focus on the good moments and the blessings, even in the midst of the difficulties we might endure through life. Visit those often and keep them fresh! Photo books are helpful for this too. While it may be hard to winnow down the multitude of photographs we take, now that everything is digital, having written notes can refresh the moments (and the names) we might otherwise forget and bring a smile to our faces.
  4. Music. It is amazing how music can bring so much joy and how nostalgic it can be. Certain songs propel me back in time to when I was earnestly struggling and seeking God in the middle of it and how those songs carried me through. When I was having a birthday party this year I combed through hundreds of CD’s and culled out my favorite “party” songs to play – those that make me happy but many were tied to moments too. I still love listening to that and probably should make another of worship songs that I love. When my heart is troubled, I often revert to a handful of songs that I will sing to myself for comfort and a reminder that God (back to #1) is still at work.

Notice what didn’t make that list? Home. Cars. Careers. Education. Bank balance.

What do you think? What do you treasure most?

When I die someday, these two songs I want played at my funeral as they have such deep meaning for me and hopefully will bless you. They aren’t Christmas songs but they are very much about the Jesus whose birth we celebrate. Merry Christmas! Hold your treasures close.