Tag Archive | calling

Author Confessions: When Purpose Drives You

Nov17
Reading Time: 4 minutes

Author Confessions: When Purpose Drives You

I got a text from a new author who is pursuing getting a book published. It won’t be something the pubishing house I work with would go for, but it is exceptionally good. I’ve spent time with this author, encouraging her, coaching her, and helping her network to pursue getting the story that is on her heart, out to those who will benefit from it. Purpose drives her.

My husband is up early to pick up a helper that he pays to get work done at our property, fixing things, getting his soon-to-be-classic truck road-worthy, and overseeing the building of our home. Purpose drives him.

When I’m in the midst of writing a book, or focused on edits or marketing, I hate to be disturbed. When my kids were younger I once forgot to pick them up from school because I was so into the story taking shape. My sweet Middle Hobbit asked me why I was late. I said “I was writing,” almost ashamed to admit that to my grade-school son. He wisely suggested, “Maybe you should set a timer.” And after that, it is exactly what I’ve done! Purpose was driving me but it needed boundaries!

When you find a project where you lose time and are eager to get up early or work late… purpose is driving you.

I guess the question I have though is this: Is this purpose driven life for your benefit or for others?

The first woman I mentioned is called by God to write out what could be considered deeply personal and embarrassing moments in her life. While she is making it fiction for the sake of protecting others, it is very much her story. There is no way most people would do that and work hard writing, rewriting, editing, meeting people, speaking in front of groups, if God were not putting that purpose on her heart. Her book is unique in its format which would not work in traditional Christian publishing but I’ve encouraged her to write it anyway. Purpose drives her.

When God gives you a specific purpose–you need to obey.

My sweet husband, dubbed MacGyver but those who know him best, is the same way. Building a home was something we both felt God was calling to. Cleaning out a home and huge garage/shop and putting a house on the market, moving out, putting stuff in storage and living in a small apartment which is comfortable but challenging for me because of the lack of space for the things I love to do. Probably 90% of my craft/books/office are in storage. I’ve been out on the construction site myself because for both of us, purpose drives us. God called us here and we can hold tight to the vision He gives us for the life and ministry we will be able to lead from that location. Purpose drives us both.

Meeting one-on-one with authors is a sacrifice of time, energy and can involve travel. I don’t do it a lot–but when it do it is because God has given me a desire and giftedness to encourage those. His purpose drives me.

Writing, marketing, editing. I’ll admit that sometimes I try to avoid that hard work, but it can be fun as well. It involved energy and focus to write a story. To edit it requires, time, energy, and a dying to self to brutally tear apart those words, sentences, paragraphs, and chapters. I need to be obeying God’s purpose and when I am in the grove – that purpose drives me.

Doing hard things are easier when God’s purpose drives me.

I am an introvert but when God calls me to step out of my comfort zone, I try to obey. It becomes an intentional purpose. I’ll confess I cannot do that without Him at work in me. He’s opened up the doors to meet people and connect with them in my new neighborhood. With challenges we’ve faced between the house and even just getting new checks to our new address, the staff at my bank has become quite familiar with me. None of it is their fault so when I go in and proclaim “Your problem child is back!” They laugh because I have tried hard to be someone who brings more than checks to deposit or problems to solve. I hope to bring joy and encouragement and leave them feeling better than before I walked in because I want to show them Jesus. Only Jesus could enable me to do that. Only Jesus could provide the opportunities to connect with 10 people, so far, in our apartment complex (only four addresses live in our hallway). I’ll confess, my attention seeking puppy, Oliver, helps with all that! Who can resist his cute face? So far no one!

The question I have for you is what is the purpose God has placed on your heart? What are you doing to pursue that?

 

Author Confessions: Just Write

Jun2
Reading Time: 5 minutes

Author Confessions: Just Write

When I started writing, it was a mere lark, a response to a dream and I had a blast putting those words on a page. That first novel (The Virtuous Viscount) underwent years of rewrites and revising and I still love the story even if it was an arduous process. It wasn’t the first book I published either, it was my tenth published work, my fifth full-length novel. By the time it was published I had accumulated a series and was writing in other genres and lengths. But it began with that one story I had dreamed about for years.

I remember one of the first conferences I attended, surrounded by other writers and it felt like home! They understood the writing life, the lessons to learn, the arduous path and the long shot of monetary success.

Over the years I’ve had the opportunity to talk to others who want to write. They want to know all there is to know before they start writing that story on their heart. I tell them to write it. Just write it. If you worry about all you need to know before you write, you never will. Even attending a conference can seem like drinking from a fire hose with the amount of information that comes your way.

My advice? Just write. 

Then start getting the information you need to edit and revise. You cannot edit a blank page.

I have done critiques for conferences and at one I got two different submissions from one person. The first one I struggled with. If this was the start of the story, I didn’t understand what he was trying to do. The second was stellar. When I met with him face to face to share my thoughts, he confessed they were part of the same story. The one I didn’t get, was the first chapter. The one I loved, was fifth. I told him maybe it would be better if he started there. He whined about all that wasted work. Nothing is wasted. Every thing you write, even if you have to take it out, adds to the experience of your story and makes you a better writer in the long run. I’ve thrown out a few first chapters on my journey as a writer.

Kind of true with life isn’t it? We go through tough times, make mistakes and can think it was all a waste of time. Yet on the other end we have grown through the process to hopefully be more mature and make wiser decisions. Yeah, I know that doesn’t work for everyone. Especially in this current climate where everyone is a victim and have no desire to take personal responsibility for their lives.

That doesn’t work as a writer. Don’t even bother then. Don’t pin all your hopes on being a New York Time’s Best Seller and being offered a boatload of cash for your years of hard work and learning. Sure, we would all love that, but the reality is a combintation of things: 1) There are a lot of writers publishing, even self-publishing, which can make it hard to push through the noise, 2) The attention span of most has become quite short. Add to that the possiblity that what you want to write and enjoy doesn’t have a wide audience ready to read it, publishers call it a niche market.

Does that mean a wanna-be author shouldn’t write? Absolutely not. But do so realizing that you may be a long time away from ever seeing fame and fortune from those wonderful words that pour from your pen or fingertips.

I apologize if I’m being a Debbie-downer.

Writing is lonely and criticism can be brutal and the journey to publication isn’t a glorious ride on a cruise. It can difficult and filled with hard work. It can be fun and enjoyable as well, especially if you connect with other writers.

I was at a conference where there was a contest and the winner would get a contract with a publishing house. The head of that house murmured that he wasn’t sure if it was a blessing or a curse, because once that person had a contract, the really hard work would begin. He wasn’t joking.

The winner wasn’t me but I have had contracts. I even had to terminate one when the publisher wasn’t following through on their end of the contract. That was hard. I had an agent, but never got anywhere with getting one of those coveted contracts with a big publishing house. I eventually stopped waiting for that big break. I don’t need fame to prove I’m a writer or that my words matter.

I was able to get published, but that didn’t come right away. I started writing for fun in 2009 and my first book wasn’t published until 2015 although a flash fiction and a short story were published in 2012 (shortly after that first conference!). Pretty much nothing more than writing credits. Six years but I had written so many books in that time and alternated between writing one and then setting it aside to edit a previous one, then writing another… you get the idea.

The reality is, I write books I want to read. My agent begged me to write Amish romances, but I refused because I thought they were cultish. I’ll tell you now, that after having adopted two Amish puppy mill rescues, the only story I would likely write would be one exposing how horrible they are. I have a sweet pup who has been with us for almost a year, just turning four–and is still traumatized. She didn’t produce enough puppies so they were going to kill her. My other dog, was going to be drowned because they couldn’t sell him for their exhorbitant prices.We got him at six months and in spite of a break in his tail which is camouflaged by the hair there, and a slightly wonky jaw, he is a delight to our home.

If you feel called or compelled to write, do it for yourself first. Yes, the common theme at writer’s conferences is to know your audience. Well, you are the first person in that audience so write what you would want to read and don’t worry about the rest. Not everything you write needs to be published, either.

There is no one right way to write a novel or non-fiction book. Sure, there are prinicples that need to be there, but you can get there by writing, reading, and learning along the way. Attend writer’s conferences if you can. If money is an issue, some have scholarships that can help.

It’s fine to dream of publication, but there’s no point in doing that if you haven’t written a word. Writing for the sake of writing has value as well.

My advice? Just write. 

 

Author Confessions: When Discouragement Hits Hard

Dec16
Reading Time: 2 minutes

Author Confessions: When Discouragement Hits Hard

I have struggled with depression pretty much all my life. Even with medication there are days when it can hit hard. Add winter in Wisconsin and the lack of sunshine, Seasonal Affective Disorder can get mixed up in there. I’ve learned to relax into that reality and make adjustments when the energy level sinks and my body indicates it needs more rest than activity, or conversely, needs connection more than isolation.

I had a challenging November. Somehow with lots of extra free form writing I managed to finish National Novel Writing month (Nanowrimo.org). Lots of words to be deleted from that document! The story wasn’t finished but I’m hoping that it will be soon so I can start working on the editing process.

Surgery for me the week before Thanksgiving, and then last Wednesday, surgery for my husband, makes for challenges to navigate.

With all the chaos of November, I didn’t get my December marketing done and I will confess I was discouraged with the reality that only one person who read my latest Christmas novella, I’ll be Gnome for Christmas, wrote a review. I did a Facebook live for the first time to promote the book—and no one showed up. I understand. We are all busy!

I have to do some reevaluating again… Why do I write? It is a calling I believe, but is it really having an impact in this crazy world? It’s not a financial boon in any way for our family. It is a sacrifice of discipline getting my butt in that chair and hands on a keyboard to come up with a story, and fashion characters out of thin air that hopefully will relate a message of hope and faith, and maybe even fun that will entertain and encourage a reader. Or show them a true, vital faith that can be theirs.

Obviously, I am writing this post on one of the lower days. Healing takes energy and can make me tired but that can compound the feelings of discouragement if not depression! And honestly, at the moment I’m writing this, I’m more discouraged than anything.

This isn’t a pity party. No one comes when anyone hosts those! I’m writing an honest confession that authors face. Discouragement. Does what I do matter? If I stopped writing stories would anyone care?

The better question I need to be really asking is: What is GOD calling me to do? After all, it’s only HIS opinion that matters. More than any and book reviews or sales are not any validation of HIS call when the work of the heart is something He is only aware of. And that, my friends, is only a question He can answer. Many of the people in Scripture who were following God’s lead faced these same issues.

How do handle it when discouragement hits hard? I’d love to hear about it.

Maybe this old song by Caroyn Arends will encourage you as it does me: https://youtu.be/mwWy-T8WWFo?si=IVzJ1lgbS7REz-xg

Lessons Learned from Writing: Divine Fun

Mar14
Reading Time: 3 minutes

Now, why did I start this series of posts with this one? Because initially when I started writing in 2009 and understood nothing much about the craft, I had fun. So much fun! I believed God told me to write that November for National Novel Writing Months (nanowrimo.org). When I started I was fearless because I didn’t know any better. I had a blast finally writing the story I wanted to write: The Virtuous Viscount. I’d started years ago on paper and I think I scared myself. But God called and I obeyed.

I wrote a lot of words in 21 days – more than winning two NaNoWriMos. I was exhilerated and in my ignorance thought I’d written a wonderful tome. I cut my teeth as an author on that novel and still love the story.

So I had fun and thought that was it. I was a stay-at-home mom and lived in the country and served in Women’s Ministry at my church and didn’t have much interaction with those who didn’t share my faith in Jesus. I reached out during that month and connected with another stay-at-home mom in my community. We both crossed the finish line and I reached out again to suggest we get together. I gave her my real name, not the name on NaNo and she responded.

She was a friend from high school I’d been praying for, for over twenty years. Wow. Just wow. We connected in person along with others from back then and I heard many sad stories. Now my own story wasn’t that wonderful as I was in a difficult marriage, but I listened and loved. I was newer to Facebook in those days and invited my friend to connect with me there.

She remembered my strong faith in high school and even though I didn’t usually post spiritual stuff then, I was usually more silly, she told me it was as if God was poking her in the shoulder with every post I made. She understood my life was challenging. She was aware of my ministry work, and never once did I talk to her about Christ. She was well aware of the truth she’d turned her back on years ago. I was just being silly old me.

God led her back to Himself. She said later that she believes the only reason she was to write that November was to reconnect with me so God could get a hold of her. She joined a church, she led worship, she’s taken a theology class that I taught, and she made dramatic life changes. Life has been challenging for her in the process, but she’s stood firm.

I thought I was just having fun—but God had a bigger plan.

Her name was written in the Lamb’s Book of Life long before my humble gothic regency ever saw the light of day in print.

So go ahead and have fun. Enjoy life. If God calls you to do something unusual because it might be fun? Do it! You may never know the heart you may touch just by being yourself in those moments.

“Preach the gospel at all times and if necessary, use words.” Saint Francis of Assisi.

What kind of fun might God be calling you to? Don’t dismiss it as frivlolous–He may have a bigger plan than you realize.

Dream Musings and Music

Sep5

Reading Time: 3 minutesNot all dreams become reality. Sad isn’t it? People come along and kill our dreams. Sometimes real life interferes.

When I grew up I wanted to be a disc jockey. You know. A DJ. I love music. Always have. I enjoy singing. I love to talk, so radio seemed like a great place for me. But my father told me that radio people don’t get paid much and work odd hours. I had a friend in radio at one point and he had to use a different name on the air to protect himself from his fans. Oh, to have such trouble!

I played saxophone through high school but gave it up for choir. I did well there. Won some solo ensembles. I always wanted to play guitar. Twice I’ve taken guitar lessons. When I was in a band they let me play on one song.  Yup. I was that good! *snicker*.  Actually, I’d have been great if I could have been disciplined enough to practice more.

Jonah's VacationI also wanted to be a singer but had a pastor years ago who gave me a reality check. He told me “Susan, you’re good but you don’t work at it. You’re a B-grade singer but could be an A.” Ouch! I did work at it and got good enough to be in a band for a short time.

Jonah’s Vacation was a great experience. Hard work. Amazing musicians. My next book, Feta & Freeways is dedicated to Jim, Rob, Jeff, Erick, Mark and Irene (she joined us months after this photo was taken.). I learned so much from these people (including how to belch although Jim was definitely the master of that and he didn’t have a microphone to help!)

13620018_1411151115567715_4418536725403216346_nI don’t sing for others much anymore. I did for a while. I worked at it. But now I only get an opportunity maybe once a year to do that and play my guitar. I miss the synergy of being in a band. I admire groups that have that “magic” when they play together.

I based my next book on a lead singer of a band (and his friends). Yeah, it’s a romance, but it’s so much more than that. I based it off Burlap to Cashmere. I wish I could play guitar with even a 10% of the skill they have. Can you see the joy they have as they play together? Makes me smile every time I see this photo I took from the last time I saw them live.

Maybe someday I’ll get there. Not everything has to be for the purpose of performing. Maybe playing guitar and growing in that skill will only be for me and God this time around. I can remember the past fondly and rejoice that God gave me those opportunities. And I can write and encourage others who can pursue them.

Maybe words on the page are meant to be my song in this season of my life. Why that makes me cry I don’t know, but dreams are like that. Sometimes it is okay to grieve what you can’t have. Life isn’t fair and God doesn’t always give us what we want for His own reasons. Hard to believe but that’s often a good thing. Sometimes to make room for one dream we have to sacrifice something else we value. We don’t always recognize what those choices will be…time, family, finances…there’s a cost for pursuing dreams. And there will always be those who will try to stop us, defeat us, criticize us for following God’s direction. Dreams God calls us to follow become “callings”. And they are only worth pursuing because He is the one who leads the way.

This is a live video I took from Burlap to Cashmere’s performance in Green Bay in July of this year. Gifted and a called. The “closing jam” as it were… featuring Johnny Philippidis and his amazing guitar skills. Part of the song is the Dialing God Instrumental from their Freedom Souls album. Enjoy. Maybe someday I’ll have that 10% to enjoy for myself.

The “God Answered my Prayer” Conundrum

Jun13

Reading Time: 3 minutesLots of things stew in my crazy brain. Much of it I’m sure you’d not want to read about. Complexities and backstory would bog down the fact that emotionally turmoil is festering underneath what many perceive to be a cheerful exterior.

One recent thing though has been cooking. I have a friend who has a book doing extremely well. She’s breaking all the “rules” for promotion and marketing. I love her to bits and I’m thrilled at her success.

No. Really. I am. She’s a dear sweet friend.

I asked her what she thinks is the secret to her success. Her response: “We’ve been praying.” She does. She prays. She has people who have prayed as she’s worked on her novel for over 10 years. Yes. You heard me. Ten years.

Here’s where the conundrum comes in. I pray too. I’ve had people pray for me as I write and struggle with life. My books haven’t sold as well although they get great reviews and I’ve done so many things to promote them. I’ve had people who I respect as authors, promise to read and promote my books who have failed to do so. I’ve done so for their great novels. Grrr. Frustrating to say the least. But God can take care of them.

God is doing 10000 thingsWhich leads to a variety of thoughts.

  • Does God not love me or my book as much as He loves my friend’s?
  • Success isn’t really about how many books I sell.
  • But I could really use the money sales could net for me due to challenging life circumstances (duh, like we all don’t face those?)

And then I scold myself.

  • It should be enough that I worked hard and my books are well-received and people have found their faith encouraged or challenged by reading them.
  • It should be enough that God has brought people into my life to minister to and encourage because I have written and published my novels.
  • It should be enough that God knows my heart and my needs. All of them. He’s got my future in the palm of His hands.

So why isn’t it enough? Why do I struggle?

The issue isn’t God.

It’s me.

I’m a fallible human who struggles with insecurities on so many levels.

I struggle with depression and anxiety.

I lack support from people who should be there for me but who had sought to sabotage me every step on my journey.

They failed.

Because: God.

God has gotten me to where I am. He has brought me through so many struggles and pain beyond what I could ever dare to share here.

And my writing isn’t a job. It’s a calling. I need to own that and realize that a calling doesn’t come with a windfall. It comes with a cost.

And a blessing.

But sometimes I fail to see that amidst the pain and struggle that sometimes visits my life.

So I’m grateful for my friend, her faith and our beautiful relationship. She is also called and God’s blessing on her work has no bearing on the way He is at work in my life.

Because we are all unique and God’s work in and through us is also unique.

How often I forget that when the “should’s” come knocking on my door.

How about you? Where have you struggled with the “should’s” in your own life?

The Last Detail (Book Review)

Jan10

Reading Time: 2 minutesthe last detailThe Last Detail is the most recent work of Lisa J. Lickel and while billed more as women’s fiction, it has a nice romantic thread to it.

Merit is a medical missionary who is injured on the field and sent home to recover. The only problem is, the mission board refuses his request to return to the field. Cast adrift and trying to figure out what to do with his life, he moves into a large empty home that is an inheritance left to him and his sister. While struggling with his value and direction, he is intrigued with Amalia who has taken on the task of managing final details of the estate that the house is a part of.

Amalia runs a business called The Last Detail, (hence the name of the book), that helps people with other end of life planning beyond the funeral. She is stuck in a relationship with the funeral director, Hudson, who assumes they will marry. Can Amalia break out of her rut and embrace a larger life than the one that had been prescribed for her by her parents and business associate? Perhaps one that takes her beyond the borders of her city?

Both characters have to struggle with their relationship with God and with each other as obstacles continually emerge to confuse and complicate their lives.

I don’t want to give any spoilers away! Just read the book and enjoy the story as it unfolds. This is a well-crafted story that has hung with me for days after reading it.

That’s it, I Quit!

Nov18

Reading Time: 2 minutesI met with some writing friends recently and we were talking about the crazy life of an author.

The struggle to get a story just write right.

The reality of writing, revising, rewriting and then being told it’s wrong or an editor wants you to do it differently.

The conflicting opinions on certain “rules” (no head-hopping for instance, something that is more acceptable in secular fiction).

The length of time it takes to get any response from an editor or publishing house.

Being accepted and then still finding your work isn’t “good enough” for that particular person.

One gal said, “I’ve quit three times this past week.”

Image courtesy of David Castillo Dominici at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Image courtesy of David Castillo Dominici at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

I hit a spot last week too where I was beset by self-doubts.

Most authors struggle with these thoughts at some point.

If you don’t write, I hope you can understand this. Writers spend hours, days, weeks, months YEARS crafting the book that is held in your hands. Every step along the way feels like a benchmark but is laden with pitfalls.

You get an agent–but they want you to make changes before they try to sell your work.

You get a book contract–and the editor of the publishing house asks you to make changes to the writings of your heart and dreams.

You finally get published and  people condemn it.

That’s an awful lot of criticism for an author to have to deal with. Then, it starts all over again with the next book.

So why did I sign up for this masochistic career?

Because God called me to and His purposes in my writing are bigger than my dream of being published. How often I lose sight of that when life is overwhelming and I just want to cry, curl up in a ball with my puppy and lick my wounds. Well, he’d be licking his butt – probably a good illustration for how distasteful this torture is.

And most of us don’t get paid until after the book is published and people take their shots at us.

So I expect I’ll be serving my resignation many times in the future. God never seems to take it very seriously though and I’m glad he undersands the wounds and struggles in the process.

It is a process–and not always pleasant, but I am learning more about myself as well as how to write better. The reality is that will be a lifelong process. There is no “arrival” in this career. At least not until we get to heaven and see our names published in the Lamb’s book of life. Now that’s worth struggling for.

Righteous Writing

Sep10

Reading Time: 2 minutesI was thinking about writing, because, well, I’m a writer. Right? It’s what I do it’s who God has designed me to be and I’m struggling to realize that this is not just a fun hobby – but an actual calling. I don’t have to feel guilty for enjoying my “work.”  I don’t feel guilty doing ministry “work” (also unpaid) so why do I feel like I need an excuse to write, or that it is less important than say. . . doing the dishes?  My writing is just as much of a ministry – or at least I hope it is.  Sometimes the need to write almost becomes an obsession.

Still, three weeks into the school year I’m struggling to find ways to make time for writing. For this blog. For refining my craft. For revising my novel, writing queries, investigating potential agents and on and on and on.  Also for setting up the names and characters for my next NaNoWriMo novel.  That will be another Regency Historical Fiction, Lord Phillip’s Fate (working title, just go with it for now. . .) that picks up where The Virtuous Viscount left off.  (Don’t worry, Pesto and Potholes will also have a sequel . . . eventually.)

If you ever felt like you had a story inside and want a challenge – I’m going to lay it out for you now. Join me in November for the adventure of a lifetime at National Novel Writing Month (www.nanowrimo.com).  I’ll be tackling writing Lord Phillip’s Fate and expect to exceed the 50,000 words in 30 days.  I know I can write a novel without this – however – it’s fun!  So come along for the ride and who knows?  Maybe you will reconnect with a friend from 25 years ago (like I did last year which lead to reconnecting with MORE friends!).  Or maybe even just letting people read your attempt will bless them in some way too.  Or maybe you will simply be able to say, “I did it! I’m a WINNER!”  Let me know if you decide to come along for the ride so we could be writing buddies and cheer each other on!

Dishes are still calling. . .