Tag Archive | faith

Author Confessions: What My Dogs Teach Me About My Relationship With God, 1 of 7

Aug3
Reading Time: 3 minutes

Author Confessions: What My Dogs Teach Me About My Relationship With God, Part I of 7

The other morning, as I was about to open my Bible to read, my sweet puppy, Oliver, jumped into my lap and sat across my journal. I stopped and petted him. I started to think about what my sweet dog can teach me about my relationship with God.

Before I go further, let me explain that there is a difference between Special Revelation (The Holy Bible) and General Revelation, how all creation cries out in testimony of who God is. In Romans 1:19-20, Paul states: “For what can be known about God is plain to them, because God has shown it to them. For his invisible attributes, namely, his eternal power and divine nature, have been clearly perceived, ever since the creation of the world, in the things that have been made. So they are without excuse.”

I’ll be likely writing more than one of these so I wanted make sure you understand that this is what I am learning from the humble and sweet, dogs that God has entrusted me with. I apologize to owners of other types of pets, but maybe some of these will resonate with you regardless of what kind of pet you have.

I want to start out generally. I’ve often thought that a dog’s life was easy but as a human being I realize it is not.

DEPENDENCE

My dogs have to completely trust me. They need to pee or poop outside (although they sometimes fail to follow through on this as I would prefer). I can use the bathroom whenever I feel then need and not at the whim of someone else without access to a facility to relieve myself. I get the comfort of a bathroom as well, not needing to use the facilities regardless of weather and temperature.

My dogs also have to wait for me to return home and provide them with food. I hope I am as faithful as they need me to be in providing them with good food and plenty of fresh water.

As a human being I would struggle with this.  Sure, as a child I was utterly dependent on my parents to provide me with food and water, but when they left the house, when I was little, they provided me with a babysitter, until I got old enough to care for myself.

My current dogs are in a crate during the night, waiting for me to release them in the morning without whimper or complaint. They are in a playpen when I am  gone, sometimes with music playing and food and water available. They have no idea if I’m going to be gone for one hour or eight. And if I’m lucky they won’t leave me any gifts to clean up.

While we are all, as human beings, interdependent on others. I sometimes forget how dependent on God I am. For my every breath, or money for the rent, food to eat, a safe place to sleep at night. God has provided me far more than I deserve. How much more should I be climbing into His lap to express my gratitude.

KINDNESS

My dogs trust me to be kind to them. One, as I will explain in a future post, has a traumatic past, so she can still be shy about that and while most dogs will be chagrined if scolded for bad behavior, she will cower in fear. How much more should I quake before the holiness of God?

When I call their name, their tales wag and they come close. They anticipate good from me, whether it is a treat or some petting. God is calling me to meet with Him, not to discipline me, although He needs to do that too at times, but to show me His goodness.

It’s been a deep joy for me coming to our church after some wounds from our previous congregation. I anticipate with joy being with others to worship God! That is how it should be but hadn’t been for a long time. My dogs, likewise, jump and bark for joy when I come home because they delight in being in my presence! There is more freedom for them when I am there, and of course, the potential for treats. I’m glad I can experience that joy going to church, but the reality is I can experience that every time I pray or read His Word or talk about Him with someone else.

Oh, there is so much more to explore about what my dogs teach me about my relationship with God. Maybe you can suggest some you’ve experienced with your pet!

Author Confessions: Who Are You?

Jul27
Reading Time: 3 minutes

Author Confessions: Who Are You?

Many years ago, I attended a Christian conference for people in the field of psychology. The workshops were great. A few of the women decided to go to lunch. I had never met any of them before.

I asked them the question beyond your name, Who are you?

The first one started to talk about their position working in a non-profit helping unwed mothers. While that is a noble career, I needed to stop her. I said, “That is what you do, which is great, but who are you?”

Another one made an attempt to answer the question but again talked about their work. Fair enough, we were at a conference to help us in our careers.

Maybe I’m obnoxious, for sure I was persistent. I said “Who you are is not what you do for a living.”

What would an example be? I’m a child of God. I’m and encourager, creative, I love hearts, flowers, and gardening (but am not a fan of weeding). I can be impulsive and silly at times. I love music and singing. I love the church. Now I would probably add, I love being married to Ben, playing mini-golf, and occasionally driving a skid-steer. I’m also an INFJ and while I love being with people I prefer one-on-one conversations to large groups. I’m a WISIWIG – what you see is what you get. I’m not good at putting on airs and while I might reveal all my history or secrets, I’m pretty honest and my face will sometimes communicate more than my words might say!

After I gave them an example they struggled to find ways to describe themselves and separate their profession from their identity. I am not what I do, however, who I am will express itself in how I do whatever work I undertake. I could eventually, upon a closer connection to someone, share some of the lessons I’ve learned from the experiences that have shaped who I am today.

How about you? If someone asks you: Who are you? How would you respond? It’s easy and almost a way to brag and also put up a wall, to give a profession or degree, or successes.

If I say I enjoy writing books, which I do, it is different from saying I’m a multi-published author of over 38 stories. Well, that definitely sounds more impressive and if I added “best-selling” or “award winning” into that description it might give you an elevated view of who I am. Awards or book sales, or a job that pays a high salary, are not things that define WHO I am. They might describe a fleeting moment in time, and make up part of my story, but they are not my identity before God.

When I write my character might start out with some kind of job, but the fun of a story isn’t learning about their work, it’s learning about the person themselves and what makes them tick. A romance can’t be built only on career compatibility (is there such a thing?).

I will confess there are times when I want to toss out my experience, education or successes, but it doesn’t matter to God in the long run. While earthly achievements are nice and in many ways a form of validation from the world, and maybe from God, it is more the work of our heart and our desire to honor Him in all things that will matter more.

It takes more time to get to know someone beyond their job, but it is a worthy endeavor. I have two neighbors I want to get to know better and neither of them work outside the home. I’ve been a homemaker myself for many years. I look forward to learning more about the things that they enjoy and what stirs their hearts and what kinds of hopes and dreams they may have. And maybe be able to encourage them with the challenges they face.

God isn’t going to say “well-done good and faithful servant” to me based on a GPA, or the level of education I have or the amount of money I made during my lifetime. Only HE truly knows the number of people whose lives have been impacted by interacting with me – both positively and negatively.

Who are you? How would you answer that question?

 

Author Confessions: The Gift of Quality Time

Jul20
Reading Time: 3 minutes

Author Confessions: The Gift of Quality Time

If you’ve ever studied The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman, you might know that one of them is quality time. That is one of my top love languages and I will often go out of my way to connect with people via one-on-one connections. However, if I offer a potential new friend my contact information or suggest connecting face to face and they aren’t responsive when I ask to set a time/date/location, then I let it go. I’m not that important to them and that’s fine. I’m not everyone’s cup of tea.

Since I’ve moved, I will easily make the forty-five minute drive back to my hometown to connect one on one with a friend, or family. I don’t mind the drive and figure friendships are worth the sacrifice of time. A few years ago, my husband and I drove cross county, over 1,200 miles from Wisconsin to Houston Texas, to connect with a friend, although maybe next time I’ll fly!

A few weeks ago I had a birthday and my daughter texted a few days before saying she wanted to connect, in my town. I felt so honored that she would make time and drive to have a little lunch with me and see our house-in-progress. Then a few days later, another friend made the drive and took me to lunch, even looking for a place that I hadn’t tried before (and was wonderful). We got to sit and talk for long time. She made me a lovely birthday gift and I will think of her every time I use it, which will be often.

Two times in one week, people who love me showed that love by coming to spend time with me. Quality time. What a gift.

When I write, most of the best interaction between characters are in person, face-to-face interactions. Not just phone calls, social media posts, and text messages. Since Covid, we’ve become less inclined to do that in real life because we’ve become too comfortable with the distance. We sacrifice love for the sake of perceived safety. In a novel, those personal interactions are where people can go deeper in their understanding of one another.

When my husband and I are busy with all of our projects, sometimes I have to tell him that I need that quality time, away from the house, where we can talk about a lot of things, not the urgent work that sometimes takes priority. We regularly spend an hour at night talking before we go to sleep and I treasure that connection. Quality time is an essential part of our marriage.

I spend time reading the Bible and journaling every morning. It struck me that while I might think I’m really great at coming to meet with God, and it is, there’s more. Sure, I want to grow closer to Him. I want to grow in my faith and knowledge of God. In wisdom. I find that my time with God makes my day better.

I was missing something more important. God comes to meet with me. From heaven to earth, through the Holy Spirit, it might not be forty-five miles, and it’s more than 1,200. It is a distance I cannot fathom. Because of Jesus and His death on the cross, and the gift of the Holy Spirit indwelling, I have the honor of God meeting with me at great cost to Himself. I started taking it for granted. I’d lost the wonder of how miraculous and what a gift that God, the Creator of the universe would drop everything to meet with me any time I call upon Him, because He dwells within me by His Spirit. What a mind-boggling gift!

I don’t expect my friends to travel long distances to meet with me. Maybe I don’t feel like I’m worthy of that even though I will gladly do that for them. God loves me even more than that.

How far have you traveled to give the gift of quality time to someone? Do you have friends you would go to great lengths to go to spend time with them? How about God? Are you treasuring the time with Him? My depth of appreciation has deepened for the time I spend with God, since to real life humans reminded me, just by showing me their love, that the gift of quality time is precious.

Author Confessions: My Journey to Faith

Jul13
Reading Time: 3 minutes

Author Confessions: My Journey to Faith

It dawned on me I never shared how I came to have a relationship with Jesus, so figured now was as good a time as any.

I was raised in Wisconsin and am the oldest of 6 children. As a child I would pray and was drawn to God. Even in private religious school I couldn’t seem to get close to Him and longed for that. My journals from way back then are filled with prayers and longing for Him (See? I was a writer way back then!). When I got to public high school I heard some kids talk about Campus Life/Youth for Christ and the meetings and concerts they would go to. They thought I was a Christian. So did I! I kept begging to be invited.

That first meeting they talked about misconceptions people have about Christianity and it was the first time I understood that I could have a personal relationship with Jesus. No mediator. I already understood that I was a sinner and that Jesus died for my sins, but longed to be close to God and didn’t know how to get there. Now I did! I prayed that night and my life was drastically changed. I was fifteen.

A week later I was in the local Christian bookstore to purchase a Bible. I ran into the director of Youth for Christ and told him my experience. He said, “It sounds like you’ve been born again.” I’d never heard those words before but it sounded right. I began devouring Scripture and attending meetings to learn and grow in my faith. The first Bible verse I ever memorized as a new believer was “Draw near to God and He will draw near to you.” (James 4:8). I became eager to share what I was reading and learning with my family, wanting them to come to know Jesus. I confess I was overzealous and obnoxious. My mother insisted I talk to their church leadership who then informed me I could not read the Bible without him guiding me. My parents forbade me from reading Scripture.

I wanted to honor my parents but realized from what I had already read in the scriptures, that my primary duty was to honor God. So, I read my Bible, but didn’t talk about it much at home. I continued to attend the church of my parents but also would attend a church that preached the gospel. I began to see how the religion I was brought up in didn’t square with what I was reading.

When I was 18, I was baptized by immersion and stopped attending my parent’s church. Funny note, the church I was attending didn’t have a baptismal. They would use one at another church building, but that June they hadn’t heated the water. I was instead baptized in a neighbor’s backyard swimming pool. At least it was warm!

I’ve been walking with God for 45+ years now. He has been with me through all the ups and downs of life, leading and guiding me, often out of my comfort zone. I could tell countless stories where He has worked and done sometimes even small things to show His love and power to me, and that even when I was in a difficult place, He hadn’t forgotten me. That includes leading me to my husband, Ben. God’s fingerprints are all over our meeting and courtship. I cannot imagine going through life without Jesus.

When I started writing I couldn’t help but have faith be a key part of any story. I tried once to write a story without it and failed and had to rewrite it. The faith line in Whitney’s Vow is not blatant, but it is there!

We recently moved and found a new church. God has taken the brokenness of the past and given me renewed joy in worshipping and seeking Him in this new season of life. We might be building a house (with God’s help!) but He’s still doing a remodeling project in me.

Notice I haven’t mentioned any denomination or religion in my post. That is by design. Christianity is not about a religion but a relationship and I’m so glad!

Psalm 19:14 is the prayer of my heart: “Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be acceptable in Thy sight, O LORD, my Rock and my Redeemer.”

What’s your journey to faith in Jesus?

Author Confessions: Big Hairy Audacious Goals

Jul6
Reading Time: 6 minutes

Author Confessions: Big Hairy Audacious Goals

Have you heard of Big Hairy Adacious Goals before? It was a thing many years ago, and while maybe the BHAG is not quite as talked about now, it is still a thing.

As a young person, I didn’t have any big hairy audacious goals. In reality, I chickened out from doing some things. Life circumstances didn’t give me the confidence to take the risks. I’m intentionally not being specific here because I want you to perhaps think about what big thing you might have passed up out of fear.

My husband on the other hand wanted to start a company like his father had. Make his own way in the world in a “I’ll show you,” kind of way. He worked in a factory by day and did sales on his breaks, and seeing people at night to sell things. His company helped him raise a huge passel of kids and he loved doing the work.

Until he didn’t. Sometimes work environments get tainted and the shine wears off. Then his wife took the company in the divorce and claimed she started it. Alone.

He doesn’t miss it. He doesn’t miss the way he was treated and devalued.

Then he met me and life started fresh and he’s set new goals for himself. Goals that get him up early in the morning and keep him busy all day. A new goal. Pursuing a dream he’d long had. I get to cheer him on through the ups and downs of acheiving that goal.

I never had great goals. Oh, I finished graduate school and got a job that I enjoyed. Then I wanted to have kids. After the second one, I got my dream of staying home with the kids. However, much like my husband’s history, that was fraught with some toxicity which made living out that dream, an everyday dream for many woman, difficult to survive.

I did survive, however, and when I was freed form the toxicity, I met someone who wanted me to get in on some multi-level marketing. I was hesistant but I was in need of an income. I was challenged to dream big about items I would spend the money on. God led me away from that.

All I ever really wanted was someone to love me, a home, my dog, and a garden. And to be able to keep writing.

Notice I didn’t say I wanted to be rich. Funny, since I was deep into poverty at that point. Sure having a newer car would be good, and the ability to keep my kids comfortable. For some people who have been beaten down by life, that is the big hairy audacious goal.

Around the time I met my husband, I was barely keeping my head above water financially but I was doing OK and started looking for work outside the home. My kids were older.

When I married my husband, he would have been fine with me working, but I didn’t need to. The needs of my family and myself were met. I was finally loved, had a home, a dog, and a garden. My kids were safe and provided for. I chose to stay home and my husband has continually expressed gratitude for that and what that provides him at the end of the day. The two kids who remained with me at the time also had the benefit of my availability when they went through some difficult periods. I even got to tow each kid out of a ditch! For my son it was on one off the coldest days of winter, but together we did it. Something I would never have been equipped to do in my old life. Bitter cold wasn’t fun, but being there for him then, still warms my heart now.

As an author, I’m supposed to be pursuing huge sales and a platform that gets the clicks. I’ve worked with a lovely virtual assistant (Hello, Bonnie!) and learned a lot of things. I’ve put much of that into practice in a way that works best for me so I don’t need to pay someone else to do that. There’s this idea of “return on investment,” when it comes to marketing and for me it’s pretty low. I’ve spoken with my publisher about what I should and shouldn’t do to market my books, so while I might not be doing everything others think I “should” be doing, I’m doing work she approves of and not much more.

I keep writing because I enjoy it and people who read my books tell me they want more. I hope there are more than just the few names that popped into my head just now: Heidi, Joan, Jenny, Kimberly, Anita, Lynn, and more that have written reviews (Thank you!). In reality, with all the marketing, and writing a blog, and well, just LIFE, it can be hard to be an author. My kids have moved out and I should have a lot of time to write books, but one husband can definitely take up more time! (and is worth it!). We are in transition as well, and that has placed us in a season like no other. This planner has learned to flex a lot.

So what’s my BHAG now? What big hairy audacious goal do I have at this point? I want to be in our home, welcoming friends for a meal, a game night, or a craft day. Or having people over for dinner to learn more about Jesus and the life He calls us to. I want to make a welcoming space for my husband to come home to, and for me to create in, whether it’s stories, or embroidering, or making cards. I can’t wait to plant bulbs for next spring and design my landscaping.  That doesn’t sound very big, does it?

As I was thinking about this though, a quote that Mary DeMuth made in her book, Restory Your Life, has resonated with me. “God does not call us to be spectacular, He calls us to be faithful.”

Maybe for some people that will mean having the resources for an expensive home, luxury cars, and travel. Maybe for some it means being on a best-seller list, or a keynote speaker (well-paid I’m guessing) at events.

Being on a best-seller list would be nice. Having a significant income from writing would be lovely. The reality for me is that I’m called to be faithful. My first pursuit is Jesus. Every day. Before anything else. And if He wants me to have any of those things He can make it happen. Right now, in this seasion, I’ve scaled back on doing author events, or being on faculty at writers conferences, which I love to do. And that’s OK. Will I ever do those things again? I don’t know.

I don’t need more than I have right now. Oh, sure there are prayers I pray for my kids as I watch their lives from a distance and remind myself their stories aren’t over yet.

Probably the one BHAG I haven’t mentioned is that I want to be able to encourage others on their walk with God. Whether I do that here, or one-on-one at a conference, or in my living room, is irrelevant. Big dreams and books sales pale in comparison to giving someone a kind word, or a hug to let them know that Jesus, and I, love them. That they matter. That God sees them. I’m still meeting people in my community and that can be lonely, yet at the end of the day when I got to give someone a word of encouragement, so they know they were seen, well, that’s priceless isn’t it? Big Hairy Audacious Goals don’t need to be about money. For me it’s about impacting people’s lives, and that happens one person at a time.

God sees me and He can do amazing things in my life. He already has done more than I could have dared to dream. If He can do that, then the best biggest hairy audiacious goal would be to hear, “Well done, good and faithful servant.” I doubt He’ll be looking at my bank account when He says it.

How about you? What are your big hairy audacious goals?

Author Confessions: Fractured Faith

Jun29
Reading Time: 3 minutes

Author Confessions: Fractured Faith

I’ve walked with God for more years than I’d like to admit. I’m still learning and growing and the more I learn the more I understand how little I know and God has to break through the me that was to make the a person who will be a better image bearer of Christ.

If I look in the mirror, I see an image that is, well, me. But if that mirror is cracked, the image is distorted. When glass is cracked the ability to see through it clearly to make out objects on the other side, is hard to make out. Broken mirrors and glass refract light all over in new ways.

I’m starting to think of myself as fractured glass. I’ve never been a put-together, no-issues-here kind of gal. I’m a WYSIWIG – What You See Is What You Get. Not that I will share the deep down dark secrets of my soul with everyone, but I’m no good at pretending I have it all together.

When I was in a difficult marriage, my countenance was simply me. When that relationship ended many people commented that I appeared brighter and happier. I personally couldn’t notice the difference. The heaviness of the years of abuse had taken a toll and when that was gone, the light of Jesus inside me could shine more brightly to those around me. That was His doing–not mine.

Now, that’s not to say that going through hard times will dim your shine. It might in some ways, but I’ve found that being honest in my struggles, and my faithfulness and devotion to God in the midst of that, speaks louder to many people. The difference between my joyful face then and after were different, and to those who watched me on the path of obedience to God’s calling, could discern the difference and rejoice with me in what God did to rescue me from that.

I wonder if someday, when I’m before God, if the fractured glass will finally fall to the ground to be swept away by His grace and love and I will finally be the full, complete, whole person He designed me to be. I like that thought. It makes the fractures seem less of an iconvenience and more of a part of a beautiful testimony of God’s work in my life. Fractured faith isn’t failure. It’s growth.

So I’ll embrace my fractured faith as I lean into learning more and letting God continue to change me. The process won’t stop until I’m dead so I might as well lean into it instead of whine to myself that I “should” have all this down by now. How about you? Have you sometimes felt inadequate? That God is breaking your long-held beliefs or showing you new things about Himself you didn’t know before? Or perhaps sin you’ve been blind to? Growing pains come with the fractured faith but I’m glad Jesus keeps holding it all together to refract His glory through my imperfect reflection of Him to a hurting world. I hope you’ll do the same.

Author Confessions: Great Connections

May11
Reading Time: 2 minutes

Author Confessions: Great Connections

When we moved and started attending a new church, it initially felt overwhelming. Our church is welcoming so we enjoyed attending but developing relationships takes more effort. I don’t want just people who know me, I want great connections.

Have worked at other churches over the years I’m aware that a church can provide all kinds of opportunities for people to connect but a newcomer has to make an effort as well. This church makes it easier.

When I walked into a huge room full of women at my first time to a study at our new church, one of the leaders suggested I look for someone who had the same color nametag as mine and introduce myself. Simple suggestion but even smart people don’t always think of something that easy. (wait? Did I just call myself smart? oops!). I did what was suggested and sat next to a woman who was also new and had prayed asking God to bring her one friend. Every week after study we would stand around and talk for an hour more about all kinds of things!

God answered her prayer, the one I didn’t even think to pray for. Both of us are new to the area and the church. We have very different backgrounds but we share the same faith in Jesus and have some similar struggles. She’s been a wealth of helpful hints as I’ve navigated this season of my life as well. What a blessing!

She wasn’t the only one. It took time in a group setting to make connections, but it has happened and some of that I have left in the hands of others to decide if they want to go further.

Waiting for a great connection is valuable but hard. I’ve gone through periods of loneliness even though I have a ton to do and a wonderful husband. I prefer the deeper one-on-one connections to a larger group setting. I’ve learned a lot in a small group, but it’s not as deep as just one or three people.

I had a friend tell me years ago, “I want to go DEEP!” While she was meaning she wanted to learn more about Jesus, she is also someone who goes deep relationally. Distance keeps us apart more than I’d prefer, but I agree. I want to go deep.

We all long for connection of some sort, but the deep ones take time, effort, and vulnerability. Time is also spent learning if that individual is safe. The deeper we go, the harder it is when someone breaks our trust or shows themself to be unsafe. It can be devastating.

Walking through chronic issues with someone, whether relational, physical, or emotional, can also be challenging. Yet someone struggling that way needs someone to care, listen, and sometimes give of themselves without expecting much in return. We need others to be there for us when we are giving to someone like that.

What’s your secret to making great connections with people you’ve not met before or when in a new area or church? I’d love to hear them.

Author Confessions: Characters Don’t Waste Time on the Phone

Apr27
Reading Time: 3 minutes

Author Confessions: Characters Don’t Waste Time on the Phone

When I write a story, I have had characters use their cell phones to text but not much else. I don’t think I’ve even had a character doom scrolling through social media. Fictional characters don’t waste time on the phone.

I do.

Too much time, even though I have plenty of other things to keep me occupied. Sometimes I wish for the  days of the flip phone when it was only about phone calls (although texting was a beast on those). And I like to be able to check something on the internet or quickly place an order to check emails.

However, apart from those convenient uses for my phone, I spend too much time on it. Maybe God’s convicting me of this. The other day I left my phone alone and doing a craft as I watched television with my husband, because if there was a weather emergency I wanted the battery to be full so I could monitor the weather from the basement, maybe even through a helpful meterological video channel.

The reality is, my battery, on a normal day, shouldn’t need to have much battery drain.

I also tend to lose my phone. Have you ever left home without your phone? I have. How did you feel? Anxious? All the “what if’s” pop up. What if I have an accident? What if I miss an important phone call–which is funny as most people don’t call on the phone too much anymore.

I remind myself that I used to drive around all the time without a phone before car phones became a thing. It never dawned on me at that time I might be in danger. Of course, as I drive now I think of all the things I need my phone for. Uses I probably wouldn’t have thought of if it were in my pocket.

A reframe for me when I leave my phone behind is this: Without my phone, I’m off the leash. Think of a dog running with wild abandon when the leash is off. Being without my phone doesn’t need to be a bad thing. Some people turn if off and leave it behind for a day or two on a regular basis so they are not distracted by other things. Not sure I’m willing to go that far at this season of my life. In a newer community you might be surprised how much I use the map feature.

Fictional characters might text, or even make a phone call, but the conversations are short because too much of that kind of thing bogs down the story.

Fictional characters don’t waste time on their phones because that doesn’t move their story forward and a reader wouldn’t want to read about all they are scrolling through. Maybe I should be more like my fictional characters. Might be worth a try to see how much God can do with that time.

How much is my phone bogging down my life and keeping me from all that God has for me? Playing a game on my phone might be relaxing, but what if instead I were praying for someone? Or even silently praising God–or loudly by singing without a backup track in my car. What do you think? Does your phone monopolize your time?

 

Susan Speaks: Learning to Breathe (Book Review)

Apr24
Reading Time: 2 minutes

Susan Speaks: Learning to Breathe (Book Review)

I’m supplanting Oliver and Minnie but they are busy playing, and the topic of this book is of a more serious nature. One of the subjects that underlies most of my fiction is sanctification. Characters must grow in faith (or come to faith). My Orchard Hill Series has a church as a focal point for all the characters in some way, shape, or form, because I deeply love the church and believe it is essential to the Christian walk. Learning to Breathe: How To Cultivate A Life-Changing Relationship with the Holy Spirit comes from behind the shadows of fiction that I use as my platform, and lays it out clearly and without apology.

I have taught about the subject of the Holy Spirit from a more doctrinal standpoint, but Matt Morton has raised the bar for books on this subject. With authenticity he challenges the reader to go deeper. For instance, his chapter (3) on the Fruit of the Spirit is eye-opening, as a gauge that all beliveers in Jesus can use to determine where we need to grow, something we can only do by the power of the Holy Spirit.

There is personal application in every chapter and Matt Morton builds beautifully from personal sanctification (which only happens through the power of the Holy Spirit) to the beauty of the church and mission it has throughout the world in spreading the wonderful and powerful message of salvation in Jesus.

If you want to live a more vibrant walk with the Lord, I cannot recommend this book highly enough. While Lewis Sperry Chafer’s work on the topic is great, and Francis Chan’s is approachable, Matt Morton’s work is easy- to- read yet challenging. If you do not want to grow in your faith, do not purchase this book. I went through this as part of a group and found that to be a blessing as we shared how the truths in this book was working to transform our lives. I’ve walked with Jesus for 45 years and love that He has so much more to teach me, and this book has been helpful in challenging me to grow further.

If this were Oliver or Minnie, they would give this book five bones, because they are dogs after all. I, however, give it five stars.

Author Confessions: Are You Seeking God’s Hand or His Heart?

Apr20
Reading Time: 3 minutes

Author Confessions: Are You Seeking God’s Hand or His Heart?

Oliver Maltese/shih tzu mix.

When we got Oliver, he was a six-month-old puppy. I poured love on this dog and he became quite devoted to me. We did obedience training (more for me than him!) and the trainer didn’t think she could work with him because he loved me so much. Oliver understood she had treats though and performed beautifully for her and then quickly returned to me.

Oliver is motivated by praise as well as treats and I rarely give him the treats but lots of praise. His sister, Minnie, however, has been trained more by following Oliver as she hasn’t been motivated much by praise or treats. Two years in and she still will not take a treat from my hand. She will wag when I praise her but her stubborn shih-tzu heart refuses to do anything other than what she desires to do.

Years ago when I was attending a prayer retreat, the leader asked this question. Are you seeking God’s hand or his heart? 

Oliver will jump into my lap because he longs to be close to me. He loves

me. Of course he wants to snuggle and be petted too, but he’s often content to stretch out next to my legs because more than anything he longs to be with me.

He will dance for a treat though, but he doesn’t beg for them. He will go to my husband for the treats because Ben has conditioned the dog to do so. A previous dog of ours would go up to my husband in the kitchen and sneeze. Ben would give him a treat. Our dogs go to Ben for his hand, not his heart.

The dogs come to me more for my heart than my hand.

Of course we are told we are to seek God and pray to Him. Prayes of thankgiving, confession, requests, and even just sharing our lives.

Ultimately, as a believer, I long to hear God say, “Well done, good and faithful servant.” Yes, God rewards us. The list of all the things I did for God should come after gratitude to Him for all I was able to do because He enabled me to, because I long to please Him.

That doesn’t mean I don’t pray for my children, or the health of friends or others who I know are struggling. I made a chart so I can be more intentional to pray for people outside of when I sense God is leading me to pray, which He often does.

I confess I’m often selfish in my prayers, seeking God’s hand more than His heart. Selfish in asking for His Wisdom, for the Holy Spirit to lead and guide in my conversations and relationships. One of my favorite psalms is Psalm 19 and verse 14 in particular: “Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be acceptable in Your sight, O Lord, my rock and my Redeemer.” I find myself in an odd loop of seeking His hand so as to please His heart. A verse before that David prays, “Who can discern his errors? Acquit me of hidden faults.  Also keep back Your servant from presumptuous sins; Let them not rule over me;”  I’m not wrong in seeking His hand, His pierced hands that testify to His death for my sins. 

Someone asked me what they could pray for me. If you could ask for just ONE thing to be prayed for, would it be for a specific physical need for yourself or someone else? Ultimately, my prayer would be David’s that by the power of the Holy Spirit, my thoughts and words, my inner dialogue, the depth of my heart where sin likes to wallow, would be acceptable in His sight because I want to honor Him more than anything else.

So how about you? Are you seeking God’s hand or His heart? Seeking God’s heart gives us His hand, because we cannot do it without the help of the Holy Spirit.