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Author Confessions: Reviews are Important

Mar9
Reading Time: 2 minutes

Author Confessions: Reviews are Important

Authors will often request that if an author likes a book, that they write a review.

I realize, as authors, we are asking a lot of our readers.

First, we want them to actually spend money to purchase a book. While libraries and borrowing a paperback are wonderful, they don’t get us a royalty per copy sold. Obviously, we work hard to write that handheld doorway into a wonderful imagination and story, an escape from the trials of this world and a more worthwhile distraction than playing a video game. It would be nice if the author, editior, copyeditor, cover artist, and publisher could all make some money.

Secondly, after we ask you to buy a book, we hope you will actually read it and enjoy it. But after you’ve reached the end of the book we want you to go back to Amazon, Barnes & Noble, GoodReads or the publisher’s web site and write a review. You probably thought book reviews were left behind when you graduated high school.

Here’s the truth.

  • Writing a review takes a little time, true. You need to log into whatever site you’re choosing.
  • A review doesn’t need to be long. Just tell other readers what you liked about that book. It can be short and sweet.
  • Telling others, in person, or on social media that you recommend a book can help a lot.

Reviews on Amazon help other readers find our books and book sales help authors continue to write those stories you might have enjoyed.

Lastly, if you really love a story or an author’s voice, tell them personally. Send an email or text or if you see them in person, go ahead, and fan-girl or guy around them. Writing and getting a book published (two seperate endeavors) takes a lot of hard work. I doubt your words of encouragement will swell their heads but it might give them the motivation to keep writing and doing all the hard work to provide you with another great story.

Who have you read lately that deserves a little “atta boy” or “atta girl” for a story you enjoyed? Got ahead and write that review. Reviews are important.

Author Confessions: Stumbling Blocks in Fiction, Part II

Feb23
Reading Time: 5 minutes

Author Confessions: Stumbling Blocks in Fiction, Part II

In my last post I wrote about the generic issue of stumbling blocks in fiction, but there are more that are specific to the Christian genre. For some, writing with these restrictions can be challenging, but for a devoted follower of Christ they should be easier to avoid.

Denomination bias

This one could be the most challenging for some. We all love our individual “tribes” of denominations and some believe they are superior to others. Of course, there are some that border on cultish. There is a branch of Amish fiction which deals more with the culture of the Amish than the religion itself although the strict rules often come into play and those are religious. With Amish fiction, it would be hard to not mention that they were Amish as no other people group operates quite the way they do. I’ve refused to write Amish fiction even though when I had an agent, she urged me to because they sell well. I told her I thought they bordered on cultish and I didn’t want to glorify that kind of religious belief system. Maybe someday I will write one about how abusive they are to dogs they are breeding since I have two Amish puppy mill rescues.

Demoninations can be specific about some things. There’s a meme that goes around about other things but could apply to church denominations: Tell me your denomination without telling me your denomination. We need to focus more on Jesus than a specific church denomination. This way we don’t alienate readers.

I will confess, I broke this rule in my book Fragile Blessings because as a historical novella, there were times when denominations had conflict and that was highlighted, but neither denomination was condemned or elevated.

Gratitous Sin

Sin is going to infiltrate our stories because we can’t escape sin and it’s impact on our lives in this world. Sin brings about conflict and navigating that conflict makes a story insteresting. Having said that an author needs to avoid elevating any kind of behavior that might be construed as more destructive. For instance, in my Regency romancees, I have a disclaimer about drinking. It was a cultural thing for that time period and culture, and when someone became intoxicated it had disasterous results. I never would want any thing I write to be taken as permission, for someone who struggles with alcohol, for instance, to take that as permission to give in to that addiction. As my husband says, “No one starts out having a drink of alcohol intending on becoming an alcoholic.” Do I believe drinking is a sin? No. However, because some do struggle with it I will never put that as a common practice in my books.

When it comes to sex, that also is not a sin within marriage. I don’t want to deny the desire and physical attraction characters may have for each other but it will only ever be between a man and woman and consumation will not happen until after marriage. I do not want anyone to read my books and find them tittiltating. I used to do some proofreading for another publishing house I was originally contracted with, and one story had just one line in it that I thought went too far with its suggestiveness. I did tell the publisher but I have no awareness of whether that was deleted or changed in the story as it was about to go to print. I hope it was. When my children were younger, I wanted my books to be safe for even my children to read. A former pastor used to read my books as well and enjoyed them. I will stand before God someday for what I write.

Normalizing destructive behaviors

I’ve already mentioned alcohol but the same would be true with murder, cheating, lying, abuse. Anything that can be destructive to another person whould never be promoted in a clean or Christian novel as acceptable. Those behaviors might be part of a story, but not promoted as good. Pesto and Potholes starts out with domestic abuse. In Salsa and Speed Bumps my character deals with the aftermath of a date rape and the consequences of Christians making wrong assumptions about her condition to disasterous effect. Truffles and Traffic deals with the aftermath of a divorce. In all those stories there is redemption as the people lean on God to get them through the pain and trauma they experienced. I could cite many other stories as well. A Christian author never wants to promote sinful behavior as acceptable or permissable for the believer in Jesus.

Foul language

This can be difficult. Funny thing is, as much as people love to swear or tell dirty jokes, it’s amazing how they can change their behavior when they need to. When I worked in the field of mental health, my clients, without me asking, refused to swear or use other foul language in front of me. They understood by my actions that I was a Christian. In fiction, we have unredeemed people who are doing bad things, and while using foul langage is the norm for some authors, the Christian author has to be more creative in the use of their words and descriptions to give a foul character realism. We might even say someone “cursed under their breath,” not promoting that but also not using any words they might use.

An author must be careful of the words even our characters use, even if in real like someone might be swearing, we can’t put that on the page.

Twisted Theology or Unique Theological Differences 

There are so many theological differences that could be at issue. I had an author whose main character was a female pastor. I’m not going to debate whether women can be pastors or not, that’s not the point. It is, however, a bone of contention for many believers. I told her I could not publish her book. We spoke with an agent who was sitting nearby. He said that it would limit the reach of the book and certain bookstores would refuse to carry a book with that as a main component. For those with more controversial issues that they want central to a plot line in a story, that doesn’t mean they can never publish their story, self-publishing is more popular than ever. Authors just need to be aware that some publishing houses won’t accept that.

I’ve had to help authors make minor corrections to descriptions describing the crux of the gospel in their stories. If the gospel is being presented in some way it needs to be clear and avoid any add-ons or misunderstandings. We never want a book to be preachy, but if a character comes to Christ we need to handle that with excellence even as we are creative in our story telling.

Life is complicated but stumbling blocks in fiction are not only for purposes of publication. Stumbling blocks in fiction can upset a Christian reader and cause them to stop reading or write a negative review. Stumbling blocks in fiction could also tempt someone to sin, or keep them from taking the next step of faith. None of these things are good, so a wise author will be careful to avoid them. Can you think of any other stumbling blocks you might have come across in Christian fiction?

Author Confessions: Stumbling Blocks in Fiction Part 1

Feb16
Reading Time: 5 minutes

Author Confessions: Stumbling Blocks in Fiction Part 1

After writing last weeks post which you can find here, I started thinking of stumbling blocks in fiction. I’m going to focus mostly on Christian fiction as there are differences between that and the secular marketplace.

I used to be a reader that if I read the back page and liked the concept and checked out the book–I would read it to the end. It wasn’t too many years into adulthood that I decided it wasn’t worth my time if I wasn’t enjoying the story. Readers now are being more particular.

Here are some examples of stumbling blocks that authors sometimes overlook but will possibly cause a less interested reader to move past and finish a book. These are also things that as an editor might cause me to reject submisson.

Slow start

Sometimes an author can get caught up in writing very descriptive scenes with eloquent words that really say nothing but they sound nice. And this can go on for more than a paragraph where as a reader, I’m left wondering, “What is this story about? Who is it about? When does this take place?” Now having said that, in older literature this was the norm. Creative writing and beautifully crafted scenese before you ever truly understand what is going on in the story. That doesn’t work as well now.

Annoying characters

Characters should be likable. Thus says the author who has enjoyed quirky and sometimes annoying characters as Sherlock, Doc Martin, and House. Characters should have some relatable qualities that make them likable, or at least tolerable. Quirky isn’t necessarily annoying but that depends upon the person. A character might have some personalilty defect but if the reader doesn’t sense that they might change as the story progresses, they are not likely to stick with the story.

Too many people or complicated names

I’ve read science fiction and that genre is spectacular for the made up and sometimes difficult to pronounce names. I had a character in Truffles and Traffic initially called Benedict and one of the editors told me that was too harsh sounding so I changed it to Benjamin, which wasn’t a painful decision as it’s one of my favorite names, and that was before I met my husband. When I wrote the book Pesto and Potholes, Antonio has a large family and I actually had a genogram of all the relations in the order in which they were related to help me keep the story straight. Thankfully, only a few made significant enough appearances that it was easier for the reader to not worry about how all the rest were connected. I wanted the family tree in the book but was told I  couldn’t do that. :-(.  Stumbling over names or having names too similar even, can make it hard for the reader to navigate the story, and anything that pulls the reader out of the story, even to look back to see who is connected to who, is frowned upon.

The story doesn’t move along

Stories that drag from the start or start out gang-busters and then fizzle will challenge the most ardent reader. I find this even when we are watching movies or television series that if they start out slow and the pace plods along, my husband will tell me to find something else. Maybe it gets better by episode three but they lost us in the first fifteen minutes. The same is true for a piece of fiction. The first sentence, paragraph, five pages, might determine whether a reader keeps going. As an editor, I’m often generus enough to read through chapter 3. When editing a book its possible that the real story starts there and I’ll need to tell the author to revise and delete the first two chapters. When I started out writing, I had to do this myself when I realized my error and a kind mentor pointed it out to me. Nothing wasted, but it would have been if it had gone to print that way.

I also read story submissions to the end. I don’t rely on the author’s synopsis. I’ve had books cross my laptop that started out strong but fell apart quickly. Huge disappointment but I’m glad I didn’t offer a contract to them. It would have meant a lot more work for me and the author because the book wasn’t ready.

Time and place are ambiguous

Who, what, where, when, and why, are not only key words for a journalist, but for an author as well. If I can’t tell if the book is historical, sci-fi, fantasy, or contemporary, right away, it is a red-flag and annoys me to no end. Where is it taking place? Is it in America, Africa, Germany, Cuba, Mars, a space-station? Is it during the civil war, WWII, the 80’s, or 2278? If the author can’t tell me that in plain words or by their description, I get incredibly frustrated.  Thankfully, that’s only crossed my desk a handful of times and they were a quick rejection but I did give them my complaint so they could do better. It’s not something I’m required to do but when it’s stuff like that and I’m irritated enough, I will, and hopefully save some other poor reader that frustration.

Main character does foolish things

Now we all do foolish things at times. Maybe I should say stupid things? These have to be pretty big or perhaps dangerous and perhaps even triggering. Not every story is for every reader but no reader wants to spend the six or more hours reading a book, yelling at the character “No!” time and time again. It gets exhausting.

Lack of change or growth in the main character

Characters should change through the story, whether it’s an emotional growth, relationship choices, spiritual, or simply gaining in wisdom that provides a benefit for themselves and others. If the character ends the story in the same state he or she started out, it will leave a bad taste in the mind of the reader.

I realize I’ve talked about some of these things over the years and this is a different, if not negative, approach to the stumbling blocks in fiction. It’s not a conclusive list by any means. But even as a reader I bet you’ll be more aware when you pick up the next book and either you’ll be cheering for the author because they got it right and you’ll enjoy the story, or you’ll find yourself as frustrated as I do when these things happen.

Reminder, I’m not perfect and I’ve made these mistakes in the past. And I might make them in the future. I hope I’ve grown enough as an author that these stumbling blocks in fiction don’t show up in my stories, and if you find them there (because this can be subjective) then I humbly apologize.

 

Author Confessions: Slow Down

Jan26
Reading Time: 4 minutes

Author Confessions: Slow Down

Winter kind of slows everything down doesn’t it? Maybe that’s a signal to us that we should pause a little more as well. Slowing down is often easier said than done.

Sabbath Rest

We try to honor the Sabbath. We attend church and in the summer, we might play mini-golf and grill out. Sometimes we would do dinner with friends. We were challenged with keeping this when we were going through our packing, showing, selling, moving out, and moving into a small, temporary residence. I’m still amazed at how hard we both physically worked during that time period. We still sought to rest on Sunday.

Slowing  down and taking a Sabbath rest is recognizing that God is in control and I’m not. I can let Him take care of the things that weigh on my mind that I sometimes think are so important that only my efforts can make a difference.

Sabbath doesn’t have to be one particular day. Two weeks ago we had a Friday where we hadn’t planned for it but ended up working really hard. Heavy lifting, carrying, loading trailers in the cold. It was not fun but we had a good crew who didn’t give up even though we would have all liked to quit. The next day, I fully expected my hubby to head to the shop. There was plenty to be done. Instead he decided rest was a better option. I could have worked, even with him in our tiny space, but I decided that it was more important to rest with him. We rested again on Sunday. I think we really needed it.

So what did we do? It wasn’t our regular Sabbath rest. We debated going out to look at flooring for our build, or even playing indoor mini-golf, but we decided we preferred to be home. The only time I left was to take the dogs outside to do their business. I started a new embroidery project and worked on a 3D puzzle. We also played some games but mostly chilled and watched some television. I think my hubby might have even napped for a little while in his favorite recliner.

When I served at church on Sunday mornings, I rested in the afternoon but also tried to give myself more time on Monday to rest, reflect, and not rush into the week. God designed us to need rest. It is important physically, emotionally, and spiritually to practice that.

Slowing Down Daily

I start every morning slow which is honestly, hard to do in some ways but I’ve found it essential for a good day. I spend time in God’s word, I journal, perhaps do my homework for Bible Study. I might even read a little. All this with a cup of spiced chai. This is a habit I’ve done even while I was in graduate school. Neighbors would laugh at me getting up so early, but even when my kids were little I would get up before they would wake up for a few minutes of peace and quiet.

I sometimes want to rush throught things but I’m learning more and more that slowing  down my pace and taking my writing and other work slower, I can relax and actually enjoy it more. Instead of thinking of all the other things that need to be done and rushing to get throught the present to rush into the future, I’m learning to take a breath, stretch, and focus on the here and now.

Slowing Down a Story

In writing we often try to keep a steady pace between highs and lows in a story. Sometimes with thrillers or suspense type novels, however, you often find the pace faster. Just as in life sometimes a person can be hit with all kinds of difficulties and crisis at the same time, that can be reflected in fiction. The reader becomes emotionally breathless without a break in the action, even if they put the book down for a time, since the story progresses at a rapid rate of challenges. I’ve read books like this but it is a wild ride!

Often dialogue or inner thoughts on the page will slow down a story and give the reader a break before joining the character as they tackle the next event the author tosses at them. The ups and downs make the reading more enjoyable. A diary of a day-in-the- life of many of use would be boring, so the action is essential in fiction, just as it often is in life.

How do you slow down? I’d be interested in what that means for you. Reading a book? Sometimes for me that is now work (although it can be fun!). What kinds of things do you do to relax and refresh yourself? Are you able to do that weekly? How about slowing down during each day? What tips and tricks might you have for that?

Author Confessions: Purge, Delete, and Simplify

Jan19
Reading Time: 4 minutes

Author Confessions: Purge, Delete, and Simplify

I was deleting a bunch of emails this morning and it hit me how cluttered life gets. Right now I live in a tiny apartment and there truly isn’t enough space for everything to have it’s own place that is easy to find and manage. I try to file my papers and receipts and keep things in order but the mess often overwhelms me.

Now part of this might just be me and my ADHD brain. But I do understand that when the clutter is cleared up, there is an emotional benefit.

When I moved 7 years ago, I sold, purged, and gave away a lot of things. When we moved this last summer I did the same. My husband joked that he liked my way of moving by selling stuff. All my bookshelves were sold. They were not strong enough to keep being moved and moved and moved without falling apart – so I sold them cheap to others who would benefit and enjoy them. Once we can occupy our home, I can try to figure out what I want for bookshelves. Maybe my husband could do a built in bookcase? He could but he has so many other projects and I wouldn’t trust myself with his saws to make it myself. I’ll probably be back on Facebook marketplace to find what I need.

I digress. As we are moving into this new year, what about things you might want to purge, delete, and simplify?

I’m going to spitball some things:

  • Less screen time
  • Less impulse shopping
  • Less negative thinking
  • Less criticism and judgement
  • Less social media posturing about politics

I know someone who years ago gave up physical books. He went to everything on his kindle. I can’t do that as much as I do love reading on my kindle, there is something about physical books…  Having said that, I might be purging, as against my wishes, boxes of books ended up in a storage hoop that eventually collapsed under heavy, wet snow. I won’t know until spring if the books were damaged by moisture. Cardboard boxes only provide so much protection, but I was assured they would be fine and my requests for them to be wrapped in plastic were forgotten. I could have moved them, but I couldn’t get at them without hurting myself, so I surrended. Our wood stove might have some extra fuel if those books are damaged, and I’ll need to re-evaluate whether I purchase those titles again in hardcover or paperback…or get kindle copies if I think I still might want them.

Getting rid of things, and thoughts, often leaves a vacuum which can easily be filled with something else. I can clean off our kitchen table but it soon becomes a dumping ground. We are unable to NOT think of something. Just thinking about not thinking of something forces you to think about it.

So perhaps instead of less screen time, pick up a book or do a hobby. Or instead of avoiding Amazon, re-evaluate your closet or shop at a thrift store if you want something “newer” in your wardrobe. I have some pieces I’m still wearing and love after many, many years that I found that way. Instead of negative thinking, how about thinking about positive things: practicing gratitude, or memorizing Scripture. Let praise and compliments flavor your speech instead of focusing on criticism. Not that we can’t speak the truth in love, but perhaps focus on positive things more. As for social media? Decide who you really want people to see there, and what they walk away with when they think of you and your posts. Granted, if that’s your job, fine, but otherwise, perhaps shine a light in the darkness instead of contributing to the mess.

I’m preaching to myself here.

As a writer we often try to get rid of redundant phrases or words that are unnecessary. The same is true in life. I’m a writer and will confess to an overabundance of writing implements and notepads. Yes, I do a majority of my writing on my laptop but I do still love pen/pencil and paper for many things. Too often not being able to find paper or pen has given me a need to have them everwhere! I’ve even got my hubby using legal pads to make lists – but he often uses a marker to write things down big on those pads as he outlines the things he doesn’t want to forget!  Even on my laptop there are far more files than need to be there and some are saved on external hard drives because I can’t seem to be bothered to erase them. The rough draft of a novel I wrote over 10 years ago doesn’t really need to be saved, does it?

How about people or relationships? I firmly believe that people are important and we need to make time to develop and foster good relationships, but not all of them are beneficial. Where do you draw the line and stop trying to connect with people that aren’t reciprocating? Or perhaps are using you? That can be difficult to do and I’m not saying be mean and cut people out of your life all together unless they are toxic, then no-contact is great. What I am saying is: be wise about who you spend your time with. Focus on those relationships where you can. When that door closes on their side, walk away knowing God has someone else to connect with that He will reveal in His due time. The waiting can be hard.

It’s not spring yet, or time for spring cleaning, but I know that when I’m done writing this post I’m taking out the garbage and loading up paper waste in my car along with some others stuff that needs to be gone from our space. Once that happens I’ll emotionally be in a better place to tackle the other things on my to do list. None of it is fun, but it is necessary.

How about you? What do you need to purge, delete, or simplify in your life? I’d love to hear your ideas!

 

Author Confessions: To Know or Not to Know?

Jan5
Reading Time: 3 minutes

Author Confessions: To Know or Not to Know?

I’m sitting here trying to get stuff done and trying to not fret about all the things that I need to do at some point. Funny how I was editing a book and my own words, written to my character, resonated with what I needed to hear today:

Ask God for the next best step to take right now.

I’m a planner. I like to know the plan. I can be flexible but it can emotionally be more of a stretch for me. The irony of that? When I write I don’t plan. I might have a back page blurb or even a character intereview but usually I don’t know how the story is going to unfold. Writing becomes a fun adventure.

Real life is truly no different. I am aware that there are certainties I will face this year and need to prepare for: taxes, building a house, eventually moving, finishing up some books so they can come out in November. Thinking about those things…and the multitude of steps and amount of time and energy they each require–can stress me out! And those are the things I am aware of! God may have other surprises up His sleeve (please, let them be fun ones!).

A wise person confronted me last week, telling me I’m too hard on myself. I expect too much of me, and can be overly critical when I don’t reach my own unrealistic expectations. Be present. Live in the moment.

Wow. That’s hard in so many ways when the future problems are twirling around in my brain!

So what am I doing? Writing a blog post about what I’m struggling with right now. After that? I’ll ask God.

In many ways, living in the present means enjoying every moment as it happens. I do have moments where I can do that. Some tasks I undertake, eliminate my ability to muse about the future. Most of those I enjoy. Playing guitar (when I took lessons) made it impossible to focus on anything else. Creating something new, embroidery, puzzles, making cards. On the not so fun side: organizing paperwork for our taxes!

Unfortunately I can’t spend my entire life doing those things alone. But blog posts won’t write themselves, and I have other things to do, that might get me “out of my head” as it were, and maybe I’ll be able to set aside all the anxieties over things that haven’t happened yet, and enjoy the moment in the here and now.

Sponteneity doesn’t come easy for me (except in writing a story), but God will continue to grow me in my abilitly to  appreciate the surprises He has for me so I can relax and enjoy the many gifts He’s giving… as He gives them.

Whatever happens in the future–He will  be there for me in that moment as well.

Happy 2026! Praying you can live in the moment too and savor the many gifts our Savior gives. I’m curious if you are a know or not to know person- planner or spontaneous. What keeps you in the present moment?

Author Confessions: The Control Conundrum

Dec15
Reading Time: 6 minutes

Author Confessions: The Control Conundrum

I have been losing my mind lately. Or have I? I had a mild concussion at the end of September and found that intially I would have occassional hiccups in my brain processing, especially when trying to find the right word when I was talking. Guess it’s a good thing I’m a writer, huh? It doesn’t happen when writing and I have more time to process, and hopefully, edit.

I’ve undergone physical therapy, chiropractic, massage, psychotherapy, bio-resonance screening, and have now added cranio-sacral therapy at the recommendation of a dear friend.

I thought things were improving, but then odd things happen and I’m not sure if it’s a brain glitch or a technology issue (or both!).

To make things more confusing we have three addresses. We have our residence in one town with long obnoxious addresses and two others in a nearby town where we have our LLC and are building our home, also with obnoxiously long addresses. Think latitude and longitude. We would prefer to use our new home address (there is a mailbox there!) but even our shop address which has existed for over 40 years doesn’t always show up and isn’t allowed when ordering things online. Even two of our credit cards will not use either of those two addresses! Fed Ex didn’t even attempt to deliver a check order there and sent it back!

I’ve changed addresses online as much as I can, with most going directly to the the new home address since we are there daily. Yes, there is a mailbox. However, the United States Postal Service won’t recognize the address (even if the village and county do) as valid until the house is 80% built. How do you determine that? Not that it matters too much, the mailman will still deliver there.

This past week I ordered something online on my phone and put in our home address (or so I thought) for delivery. Sometimes the automated systems think they know better and correct the address. I used to live on Menomonee Ave in Menomonee Falls over 30 years ago! Somehow my package got delivered across the street from there, but how? And why did the transaction even go through when that was not my billing address for any of my credit cards! ARGH!!!

I didn’t realize the error until I got the notification it was delivered, but hadn’t shown up at my door. I had to drive to the other address, someplace I had never been to before, to collect my package. Thankfully, it was still by the mailboxes and the lobby to that apartment complex was not locked. I had my phone and identification with me in case someone called the police to report me as a “porch pirate!” Just my luck I’d get arrested for stealing my own package.

Too much drama for me and I kept wondering if this was my fault or not. Did my brain just breeze over the numbers (some where correct, just added a 1 at the front) and street name which mirrored the city name? I don’t know but I honestly cried because I feared my brain was playing tricks on me.

I hate feeling helpless. Out of control. Don’t you?

I spent years in a difficult marriage experiencing that daily and staying for a variety of reasons. The main one was that God had not released me from the marriage. When He did, I left with confidence and peace, in spite of what should have been paralyzing fear.

Maybe my brain isn’t fully healed from the concussion yet. In reality I have had several injuries that are impacting it and my body over the years that were never treated effectively. And unlike dementia, I at least know and understand where there are glitches–and when it’s improving.

I just placed another order online and before I could put in my address somehow it put in my old one 50 miles north and finalized the order before I could edit it. I cancelled the order ASAP. I had used PayPal but even PayPal has my new address. I was furious and frustrated but grateful I noticed it (I am trying to be far more diligent!). I placed the order again and just went through the tedious process of putting in my credit card and not giving any automatic fill-in to take place.

The conundrum of control whirled in my brain. Not only am I recovering from a concussion which I hadn’t originally figured was so bad, but also battling technology and a internet that isn’t caught up with my reality (of a new address). A friend reported the same issue when she had moved to their new home and how it took forever for her insurance to even recognize the new address. I’m not alone.

I don’t want to live in helplessness but realize ultimately I don’t even have control of my next breath. I can make decisions but often it is beyond my ability and all I can to is react to events. I can be proactive, and try to make wise choices but even the best laid plans can be foiled by outside forces as we’ve discovered with the building process. Contractors who quit or mess up, forcing delays, and a lot more work on our part. Companies who are slow to respond to requests for information when I’m offering them a lucrative sale of their product. Contractors who take vacation before giving me final paperwork I need for the bank. Throw in holidays, weather, health, and accidents and we can recognize quickly how little control we have over this life we’ve been given.

When I write, I have to make a decision to sit and work. I do some planning, but the characters take over and sometimes surprise me, forcing me to pray for more creativity in crafting a story I hope people will want to read. When writing my latest novella, Gnomebody but You, I had no idea who was doing all the bad things in the story. I was as confused as my main character, Tali Shadowgrace. That was until the perpetrator revealed himself on the page.

In many ways I love the excitement and surprise of the not knowing. Surrendering to God in the creative process of writing.

I don’t always enjoy that in real life. I need to surrender as part of the control conundrum. That’s not a passive helpless thing. Surrender is willful, and active. A posture of recognizing WHO is in control. It’s not me.

The idea of surrender helped me through the final years of my marriage. Surrendering to God and allowing Him to work in and through me as I waited on His perfect timing. If I had pushed for my own way and gone out of God’s will, I might have missed out on the wonderful love and life I have right now.

My body is healing from the trauma of the past (CPTSD from the years of verbal/emotional/financial abuse and physical neglect), and the trauma of the present (concussion). Much of that healing is beyond my control, but I can despair over the confusion, or I can pro-actively submit to God’s healing power as I engage in various treatment modalities. Even with cranio-sacral massage, it’s not a passive thing. It’s physically relaxing but mentally intense work and focus. It’s trusting God to help my body heal itself.

How do you deal with the control conundrum? I haven’t even talked about how that works out with free-will and predestination, and am not going to. God understands and I think in the end, when we get to heaven He will laugh and say “You missed the point.” The focus should always be on Jesus, the great physician, the One Who is in control of the universe and Who we can cling to when life feels out of control more than normal, (since essentially nothing is in our control). Surrendering and trusting in Him makes it easier to bear the confusion and keep me from sinking into despair. I’ll confess, I do still sink for a time until the Holy Spirit reminds me of the truth and that I can trust Him even when it’s confusing and I fear my brain is tripping me up.

I imagine Mary, submitting to God when He told her He chose her to carry a baby out of wedlock. She submitted and rejoiced in the honor, having no idea the way life would unfold for her, and the joy and pain she would endure. Many people in the Bible had no idea how God was using them in the moment, to further His plan of redemption. No life is insignificant. What a wonderful thing to cling to when life is out of control. God is King over the control conundrum, working out His perfect plan in my life, and yours, when we submit to Him. Praying you can cling to that truth during this, and every season, filled with uncertainty and confusion. There is peace resting in God’s control, fueled by His purpose, power, and love.

Author Confessions: Anniversary Reactions

Nov24
Reading Time: 2 minutes

Author Confessions: Anniversary Reactions

Today will be twenty-two years since I learned I had lost a baby I was carrying. My third child. I have it marked on my calendar but sometimes I get close to Thanksgiving and forget–except my brain and body doesn’t. I can be moody and sad without realizing it. This year the date falls on a Monday which was the day I found out. The Monday before Thanksgiving.

The same happens with other significant losses. Moods will emerge that surprise me, which is why I keep those things on my calendar every year just as I do birthdays and anniversaries. Those are about others–grief is about me.

Having said that, and understanding anniversary reactions, I try to be there for my mom on at least two of those significant days. On Valentine’s day I try to take her out for breakfast or lunch because that was the day my father proposed to her.

Today I wanted to remind myself, and perhaps you, that we are heading into a season where many people are facing difficult anniversaries. Holidays rip open the coping scar that develops over our deepest losses. That empty chair, the memories of the past meals or holiday celebrations that can only be revisited in our minds, like an old-fashioned black-and-white movie where everyone was younger and happy before the brutality of life intruded.

All that to say, be kind to yourself during this season of celebration, pay attention to those anniversary reactions. You can’t plan for them but you can be aware. Be kind to others, realizing there might grief underying the smiles of those around you. Sometimes they might not even realize why they are having a hard time. Not everyone realizes they might be having an anniversary reaction.

Have a blessed Thanksgiving week. I pray you find consolation with people you love, family or not, and even if you can’t, praise God for the good gifts He has given and His constant presences and faithfulness.

Author Confessions: When Purpose Drives You

Nov17
Reading Time: 4 minutes

Author Confessions: When Purpose Drives You

I got a text from a new author who is pursuing getting a book published. It won’t be something the pubishing house I work with would go for, but it is exceptionally good. I’ve spent time with this author, encouraging her, coaching her, and helping her network to pursue getting the story that is on her heart, out to those who will benefit from it. Purpose drives her.

My husband is up early to pick up a helper that he pays to get work done at our property, fixing things, getting his soon-to-be-classic truck road-worthy, and overseeing the building of our home. Purpose drives him.

When I’m in the midst of writing a book, or focused on edits or marketing, I hate to be disturbed. When my kids were younger I once forgot to pick them up from school because I was so into the story taking shape. My sweet Middle Hobbit asked me why I was late. I said “I was writing,” almost ashamed to admit that to my grade-school son. He wisely suggested, “Maybe you should set a timer.” And after that, it is exactly what I’ve done! Purpose was driving me but it needed boundaries!

When you find a project where you lose time and are eager to get up early or work late… purpose is driving you.

I guess the question I have though is this: Is this purpose driven life for your benefit or for others?

The first woman I mentioned is called by God to write out what could be considered deeply personal and embarrassing moments in her life. While she is making it fiction for the sake of protecting others, it is very much her story. There is no way most people would do that and work hard writing, rewriting, editing, meeting people, speaking in front of groups, if God were not putting that purpose on her heart. Her book is unique in its format which would not work in traditional Christian publishing but I’ve encouraged her to write it anyway. Purpose drives her.

When God gives you a specific purpose–you need to obey.

My sweet husband, dubbed MacGyver but those who know him best, is the same way. Building a home was something we both felt God was calling to. Cleaning out a home and huge garage/shop and putting a house on the market, moving out, putting stuff in storage and living in a small apartment which is comfortable but challenging for me because of the lack of space for the things I love to do. Probably 90% of my craft/books/office are in storage. I’ve been out on the construction site myself because for both of us, purpose drives us. God called us here and we can hold tight to the vision He gives us for the life and ministry we will be able to lead from that location. Purpose drives us both.

Meeting one-on-one with authors is a sacrifice of time, energy and can involve travel. I don’t do it a lot–but when it do it is because God has given me a desire and giftedness to encourage those. His purpose drives me.

Writing, marketing, editing. I’ll admit that sometimes I try to avoid that hard work, but it can be fun as well. It involved energy and focus to write a story. To edit it requires, time, energy, and a dying to self to brutally tear apart those words, sentences, paragraphs, and chapters. I need to be obeying God’s purpose and when I am in the grove – that purpose drives me.

Doing hard things are easier when God’s purpose drives me.

I am an introvert but when God calls me to step out of my comfort zone, I try to obey. It becomes an intentional purpose. I’ll confess I cannot do that without Him at work in me. He’s opened up the doors to meet people and connect with them in my new neighborhood. With challenges we’ve faced between the house and even just getting new checks to our new address, the staff at my bank has become quite familiar with me. None of it is their fault so when I go in and proclaim “Your problem child is back!” They laugh because I have tried hard to be someone who brings more than checks to deposit or problems to solve. I hope to bring joy and encouragement and leave them feeling better than before I walked in because I want to show them Jesus. Only Jesus could enable me to do that. Only Jesus could provide the opportunities to connect with 10 people, so far, in our apartment complex (only four addresses live in our hallway). I’ll confess, my attention seeking puppy, Oliver, helps with all that! Who can resist his cute face? So far no one!

The question I have for you is what is the purpose God has placed on your heart? What are you doing to pursue that?

 

Oliver’s Opinion: Sweeter than Ice Cream (Book Review)

Nov14
Reading Time: 2 minutes

Oliver’s Opinion: Sweeter than Ice Cream (Book Review)

I’ve never tasted ice cream. I don’t think a Starbuck’s pup cup counts but that was an acceptable treat. Having said that, Karen Malley’s latest Christmas novella, Sweeter Than Ice Cream also qualifies as a sweet treat. Of course, as a dog, I’m biased. Any book that get’s Susan to sit and snuggle while reading is aces.

Hannah Parker is a bit of a doormat, bowing to everyone else’s wishes and setting aside her own dreams as being too fanciful. When her snotty sister is getting married, Hannah is almost run over by a car, only rescued at the last minute by a handsome young man, Drew Johnston who she runs into later at the wedding reception, as he serves her out-of-this-world ice cream.

Drew asks questions and challenges Hannah in ways she’s not comfortable with, even though she’s intriqued by him. Her best friend gives her harsh warnings to stay away from the man.

Drew is working hard to start his own business selling ice cream and faces his own challenges, including his increasing attraction to the lovely Hannah.

Life brings a lot of complications for Hannah and she’s finally forced to choose between comformity and losing her best friend, or taking a risk and follow her dreams which would mean upsetting her parents, oh and also upsetting her best friend. Will she trust God for all the details? Is it possible that the dreams she has were God’s way of directing her on a new path like her new friend, Drew, suggests?

It’s a Christmas story about  faith, courage, and the dreams God plants in our hearts.

You’ll have to read the story to find out what happens and you’ll enjoy the journey to get there. As a dog, I give it five bones. I strongly recommend you read Sweeter than Ice Cream and give your pet lots of snuggles.