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Author Confessions: The Control Conundrum

Dec15
Reading Time: 6 minutes

Author Confessions: The Control Conundrum

I have been losing my mind lately. Or have I? I had a mild concussion at the end of September and found that intially I would have occassional hiccups in my brain processing, especially when trying to find the right word when I was talking. Guess it’s a good thing I’m a writer, huh? It doesn’t happen when writing and I have more time to process, and hopefully, edit.

I’ve undergone physical therapy, chiropractic, massage, psychotherapy, bio-resonance screening, and have now added cranio-sacral therapy at the recommendation of a dear friend.

I thought things were improving, but then odd things happen and I’m not sure if it’s a brain glitch or a technology issue (or both!).

To make things more confusing we have three addresses. We have our residence in one town with long obnoxious addresses and two others in a nearby town where we have our LLC and are building our home, also with obnoxiously long addresses. Think latitude and longitude. We would prefer to use our new home address (there is a mailbox there!) but even our shop address which has existed for over 40 years doesn’t always show up and isn’t allowed when ordering things online. Even two of our credit cards will not use either of those two addresses! Fed Ex didn’t even attempt to deliver a check order there and sent it back!

I’ve changed addresses online as much as I can, with most going directly to the the new home address since we are there daily. Yes, there is a mailbox. However, the United States Postal Service won’t recognize the address (even if the village and county do) as valid until the house is 80% built. How do you determine that? Not that it matters too much, the mailman will still deliver there.

This past week I ordered something online on my phone and put in our home address (or so I thought) for delivery. Sometimes the automated systems think they know better and correct the address. I used to live on Menomonee Ave in Menomonee Falls over 30 years ago! Somehow my package got delivered across the street from there, but how? And why did the transaction even go through when that was not my billing address for any of my credit cards! ARGH!!!

I didn’t realize the error until I got the notification it was delivered, but hadn’t shown up at my door. I had to drive to the other address, someplace I had never been to before, to collect my package. Thankfully, it was still by the mailboxes and the lobby to that apartment complex was not locked. I had my phone and identification with me in case someone called the police to report me as a “porch pirate!” Just my luck I’d get arrested for stealing my own package.

Too much drama for me and I kept wondering if this was my fault or not. Did my brain just breeze over the numbers (some where correct, just added a 1 at the front) and street name which mirrored the city name? I don’t know but I honestly cried because I feared my brain was playing tricks on me.

I hate feeling helpless. Out of control. Don’t you?

I spent years in a difficult marriage experiencing that daily and staying for a variety of reasons. The main one was that God had not released me from the marriage. When He did, I left with confidence and peace, in spite of what should have been paralyzing fear.

Maybe my brain isn’t fully healed from the concussion yet. In reality I have had several injuries that are impacting it and my body over the years that were never treated effectively. And unlike dementia, I at least know and understand where there are glitches–and when it’s improving.

I just placed another order online and before I could put in my address somehow it put in my old one 50 miles north and finalized the order before I could edit it. I cancelled the order ASAP. I had used PayPal but even PayPal has my new address. I was furious and frustrated but grateful I noticed it (I am trying to be far more diligent!). I placed the order again and just went through the tedious process of putting in my credit card and not giving any automatic fill-in to take place.

The conundrum of control whirled in my brain. Not only am I recovering from a concussion which I hadn’t originally figured was so bad, but also battling technology and a internet that isn’t caught up with my reality (of a new address). A friend reported the same issue when she had moved to their new home and how it took forever for her insurance to even recognize the new address. I’m not alone.

I don’t want to live in helplessness but realize ultimately I don’t even have control of my next breath. I can make decisions but often it is beyond my ability and all I can to is react to events. I can be proactive, and try to make wise choices but even the best laid plans can be foiled by outside forces as we’ve discovered with the building process. Contractors who quit or mess up, forcing delays, and a lot more work on our part. Companies who are slow to respond to requests for information when I’m offering them a lucrative sale of their product. Contractors who take vacation before giving me final paperwork I need for the bank. Throw in holidays, weather, health, and accidents and we can recognize quickly how little control we have over this life we’ve been given.

When I write, I have to make a decision to sit and work. I do some planning, but the characters take over and sometimes surprise me, forcing me to pray for more creativity in crafting a story I hope people will want to read. When writing my latest novella, Gnomebody but You, I had no idea who was doing all the bad things in the story. I was as confused as my main character, Tali Shadowgrace. That was until the perpetrator revealed himself on the page.

In many ways I love the excitement and surprise of the not knowing. Surrendering to God in the creative process of writing.

I don’t always enjoy that in real life. I need to surrender as part of the control conundrum. That’s not a passive helpless thing. Surrender is willful, and active. A posture of recognizing WHO is in control. It’s not me.

The idea of surrender helped me through the final years of my marriage. Surrendering to God and allowing Him to work in and through me as I waited on His perfect timing. If I had pushed for my own way and gone out of God’s will, I might have missed out on the wonderful love and life I have right now.

My body is healing from the trauma of the past (CPTSD from the years of verbal/emotional/financial abuse and physical neglect), and the trauma of the present (concussion). Much of that healing is beyond my control, but I can despair over the confusion, or I can pro-actively submit to God’s healing power as I engage in various treatment modalities. Even with cranio-sacral massage, it’s not a passive thing. It’s physically relaxing but mentally intense work and focus. It’s trusting God to help my body heal itself.

How do you deal with the control conundrum? I haven’t even talked about how that works out with free-will and predestination, and am not going to. God understands and I think in the end, when we get to heaven He will laugh and say “You missed the point.” The focus should always be on Jesus, the great physician, the One Who is in control of the universe and Who we can cling to when life feels out of control more than normal, (since essentially nothing is in our control). Surrendering and trusting in Him makes it easier to bear the confusion and keep me from sinking into despair. I’ll confess, I do still sink for a time until the Holy Spirit reminds me of the truth and that I can trust Him even when it’s confusing and I fear my brain is tripping me up.

I imagine Mary, submitting to God when He told her He chose her to carry a baby out of wedlock. She submitted and rejoiced in the honor, having no idea the way life would unfold for her, and the joy and pain she would endure. Many people in the Bible had no idea how God was using them in the moment, to further His plan of redemption. No life is insignificant. What a wonderful thing to cling to when life is out of control. God is King over the control conundrum, working out His perfect plan in my life, and yours, when we submit to Him. Praying you can cling to that truth during this, and every season, filled with uncertainty and confusion. There is peace resting in God’s control, fueled by His purpose, power, and love.

Author Confessions: The Best Gift

Dec8
Reading Time: 3 minutes

Author Confessions: The Best Gift

Have you gathered all the gifts you wanted to give for Christmas? Did you mail out Christmas cards? It’s amazing how many decisions need to be made: Who to send cards to, who to buy gifts for, what concerts to attend, how to manage all the things that vie for your time.

I love buying or making gifts for Christmas but packing up and clearing out our home and moving into a small apartment resulted in most of my gift making supplies sitting in storage. I don’t have space to create much anyway. Some of that has forced me to scale back on what I’m doing for Christmas.

Gifts are harder too. I’m sure that my kids would be perfectly happy with gift cards for gas or stores (or simply a check). However, I’m trying to avoid that. Ultimately, I hope they embrace Jesus fully and follow Him, because He is the best gift. All I can do is pray. I still want to give them something more personal, that has a deeper meaning.

When my kids were younger my parents had given us a cash gift. Instead of purchasing presents we took our children to see the Tran-Siberian Orchestra live in concert. We were in the nosebleed section but they were mesmerized for three hours and when flash pots went off shooting to the ceiling, we could feel the heat (it happened during the song I’ve attached). We gave them a memory, a moment of family seeing something exceptional, excellent, and beautiful to celebrate Christmas. Here is the song that stuck with me and was amazing to watch live “Queen of the Winter Night.” And yes, there is a lot of hair flipping at this kind of concert. The endurance of these performers is amazing–and this woman’s vocal range is stunning.

A few years back I made memory books – digital scrapbooks of their life to that date. Two volumes, full color (thank you, Shutterfly!). When they opened their gifts on Christmas day they were deflated and confused. I explained that I was giving them their childhood memories. I had even written little notes in the books next to some of the photos. They sat on the floor and started paging through the books. Soon laughter rang through our living room. Memories. History. Love. A gift they can revisit any time.

I’m not certain how or if I’ll get to connect with my kids in person this year. I made their gifts (alluded to that in my last post). Something personal but definitley not cheap. I would love to be there when they open that package and see the expressions on their faces, but I am trying to be realistic–it may not happen. They don’t seem as motivated. The best gift this year would be time and a hug from my kids.

I’m also trying to figure out how to connect with my inner circle for more memory making with them, but it’s proving challenging. In the past we’ve done a few different things throughout the year: dinner, escape room, Christmas Tea, making a craft, or playing games. My home, which was often a place for some of that, is now gone… and we haven’t fully adjusted yet. Life situations often get in the way too. Time with my besties is the best gift, no matter what else we do.

After the gift of Jesus, what would you consider the best gift you could give to those you love? Do you like giving or receiving homemade gifts or do you consider is time spent with someone the best gift? I’d love to hear your thoughts!

I wish you the best gift this Christmas and always: Jesus.

Author Confessions: Christmas Chaos

Dec1
Reading Time: 3 minutes

Author Confessions: Christmas Chaos

Maybe you can relate. I’m late writing this because on Saturday (when I should have been writing) I was working on a gift for later this month. Today I realized it is being shipped to my old address so had to text the new owner. It is possible it might get sent back as I don’t know if USPS will do a mail forwarding on a package given to it by UPS.

Christmas chaos.

I tried paying my credit card bills to stay ahead of them and one I couldn’t even get on to the website no matter what browser I used. I’m kind of mad at them but even more so that I can’t pay off my card to make sure I have enough credit for the needs of the next few weeks. On top of that I’m already panicking about getting LLC end-of-the-year paperwork ready for our accountant in January.

Christmas chaos.

I made Christmas gifts but need to find tune them because it was something I’d never done before and I kind of messed them up a bit. I’m a little afraid I’ll make them worse.

Christmas chaos.

This month has a lot of special dates in it. My daughter’s birthday, and her graduation from her trade school course. Special Christmas programs, our family Christmas gathering, our wedding anniversary, and of course, Christmas. Add doctor appointments etc… Oh, and one family member won’t come to the family gathering because apparently I said something bad about his family. Not sure what it was (or when) but I love the unhealthy triangulation of complaining to my Mom instead of to me (where is a sarcasm font when you need it?). All of my siblings have said disparaging things about me and my family over the years…some of it justified! I didn’t skip seeing them over that. I think I’m more of a convenient excuse as they have better plans. I get to be the scapegoat. Funny things is, initially we weren’t even going to be able to attend due to a scheduled surgery for my husband that got postponed.

Christmas chaos.

We have a renter who we try to help out but there’s been a lack of time for relationship between busyness as well as unrealistic and undercommunicated expecations. I want to try to play peacemaker but with two strong people going different direections at the speed of light, how do I get them to sit down, stop moving, and actually listen and care for the other person?

Christmas chaos.

We just got hit with a winter storm that wasn’t as bad as forcasted but still threw people into a frenzy of shopping for Christmas as well as supplies to hibernate if need be. We had no trouble getting dinner out on Saturday night because of this which is a rarety for us. Don’t worry, the roads weren’t too bad and my SUV has AWD and we took it SLOW. Unfortunately, the basement for our house probably has a foot of snow in it.

Christmas chaos.

The snow was beautiful though on the trees! Sunday morning church was light on people as many still needed to dig out.

Christmas chaos.

At my birthday party this last summer someone gave me a plaquc, that of course is packed away now, but says “In the middle of the chaos there was Jesus.”

Jesus came into a world of chaos. Census, pregnancy outside of wedlock, political turmoil, escaping death by running to Egypt.

We’d like to think of Christmas as a time of peace and good will to all men, but it wasn’t then, and likely won’t be now if we consider outside circumstances. Giving birth is messy and painful, and usually not quiet. Shepherds awakened by angels heralding his birth were not quiet and was quite disturbing! And having those shepherds show up in the middle of the night to see your baby? Unbelievable–but it happened.

Christmas chaos.

Jesus was born into a world of chaos and He alone understands how that all impacts us today. Scripture refers to Him as the Prince of Peace. Where is this peace though? The reality is that it is found in Jesus alone, in a relationship with Him. In the midst of the chaos of our inner and outer lives, He longs to bring us the calm. The peace. The hope that there is something better to have in the present and our future as we grow in our relationship with Him.

Maybe you needed that reminder today as well to seek out the Prince of Peace in the midst of a Christmas Chaos that centers not around gifts, family squabbles, or all the concerts and special occassions, but on Him and Him alone. Let Jesus  be the calm in your Christmas chaos.

Author Confessions: Anniversary Reactions

Nov24
Reading Time: 2 minutes

Author Confessions: Anniversary Reactions

Today will be twenty-two years since I learned I had lost a baby I was carrying. My third child. I have it marked on my calendar but sometimes I get close to Thanksgiving and forget–except my brain and body doesn’t. I can be moody and sad without realizing it. This year the date falls on a Monday which was the day I found out. The Monday before Thanksgiving.

The same happens with other significant losses. Moods will emerge that surprise me, which is why I keep those things on my calendar every year just as I do birthdays and anniversaries. Those are about others–grief is about me.

Having said that, and understanding anniversary reactions, I try to be there for my mom on at least two of those significant days. On Valentine’s day I try to take her out for breakfast or lunch because that was the day my father proposed to her.

Today I wanted to remind myself, and perhaps you, that we are heading into a season where many people are facing difficult anniversaries. Holidays rip open the coping scar that develops over our deepest losses. That empty chair, the memories of the past meals or holiday celebrations that can only be revisited in our minds, like an old-fashioned black-and-white movie where everyone was younger and happy before the brutality of life intruded.

All that to say, be kind to yourself during this season of celebration, pay attention to those anniversary reactions. You can’t plan for them but you can be aware. Be kind to others, realizing there might grief underying the smiles of those around you. Sometimes they might not even realize why they are having a hard time. Not everyone realizes they might be having an anniversary reaction.

Have a blessed Thanksgiving week. I pray you find consolation with people you love, family or not, and even if you can’t, praise God for the good gifts He has given and His constant presences and faithfulness.

Author Confessions: When Purpose Drives You

Nov17
Reading Time: 4 minutes

Author Confessions: When Purpose Drives You

I got a text from a new author who is pursuing getting a book published. It won’t be something the pubishing house I work with would go for, but it is exceptionally good. I’ve spent time with this author, encouraging her, coaching her, and helping her network to pursue getting the story that is on her heart, out to those who will benefit from it. Purpose drives her.

My husband is up early to pick up a helper that he pays to get work done at our property, fixing things, getting his soon-to-be-classic truck road-worthy, and overseeing the building of our home. Purpose drives him.

When I’m in the midst of writing a book, or focused on edits or marketing, I hate to be disturbed. When my kids were younger I once forgot to pick them up from school because I was so into the story taking shape. My sweet Middle Hobbit asked me why I was late. I said “I was writing,” almost ashamed to admit that to my grade-school son. He wisely suggested, “Maybe you should set a timer.” And after that, it is exactly what I’ve done! Purpose was driving me but it needed boundaries!

When you find a project where you lose time and are eager to get up early or work late… purpose is driving you.

I guess the question I have though is this: Is this purpose driven life for your benefit or for others?

The first woman I mentioned is called by God to write out what could be considered deeply personal and embarrassing moments in her life. While she is making it fiction for the sake of protecting others, it is very much her story. There is no way most people would do that and work hard writing, rewriting, editing, meeting people, speaking in front of groups, if God were not putting that purpose on her heart. Her book is unique in its format which would not work in traditional Christian publishing but I’ve encouraged her to write it anyway. Purpose drives her.

When God gives you a specific purpose–you need to obey.

My sweet husband, dubbed MacGyver but those who know him best, is the same way. Building a home was something we both felt God was calling to. Cleaning out a home and huge garage/shop and putting a house on the market, moving out, putting stuff in storage and living in a small apartment which is comfortable but challenging for me because of the lack of space for the things I love to do. Probably 90% of my craft/books/office are in storage. I’ve been out on the construction site myself because for both of us, purpose drives us. God called us here and we can hold tight to the vision He gives us for the life and ministry we will be able to lead from that location. Purpose drives us both.

Meeting one-on-one with authors is a sacrifice of time, energy and can involve travel. I don’t do it a lot–but when it do it is because God has given me a desire and giftedness to encourage those. His purpose drives me.

Writing, marketing, editing. I’ll admit that sometimes I try to avoid that hard work, but it can be fun as well. It involved energy and focus to write a story. To edit it requires, time, energy, and a dying to self to brutally tear apart those words, sentences, paragraphs, and chapters. I need to be obeying God’s purpose and when I am in the grove – that purpose drives me.

Doing hard things are easier when God’s purpose drives me.

I am an introvert but when God calls me to step out of my comfort zone, I try to obey. It becomes an intentional purpose. I’ll confess I cannot do that without Him at work in me. He’s opened up the doors to meet people and connect with them in my new neighborhood. With challenges we’ve faced between the house and even just getting new checks to our new address, the staff at my bank has become quite familiar with me. None of it is their fault so when I go in and proclaim “Your problem child is back!” They laugh because I have tried hard to be someone who brings more than checks to deposit or problems to solve. I hope to bring joy and encouragement and leave them feeling better than before I walked in because I want to show them Jesus. Only Jesus could enable me to do that. Only Jesus could provide the opportunities to connect with 10 people, so far, in our apartment complex (only four addresses live in our hallway). I’ll confess, my attention seeking puppy, Oliver, helps with all that! Who can resist his cute face? So far no one!

The question I have for you is what is the purpose God has placed on your heart? What are you doing to pursue that?

 

Oliver’s Opinion: Sweeter than Ice Cream (Book Review)

Nov14
Reading Time: 2 minutes

Oliver’s Opinion: Sweeter than Ice Cream (Book Review)

I’ve never tasted ice cream. I don’t think a Starbuck’s pup cup counts but that was an acceptable treat. Having said that, Karen Malley’s latest Christmas novella, Sweeter Than Ice Cream also qualifies as a sweet treat. Of course, as a dog, I’m biased. Any book that get’s Susan to sit and snuggle while reading is aces.

Hannah Parker is a bit of a doormat, bowing to everyone else’s wishes and setting aside her own dreams as being too fanciful. When her snotty sister is getting married, Hannah is almost run over by a car, only rescued at the last minute by a handsome young man, Drew Johnston who she runs into later at the wedding reception, as he serves her out-of-this-world ice cream.

Drew asks questions and challenges Hannah in ways she’s not comfortable with, even though she’s intriqued by him. Her best friend gives her harsh warnings to stay away from the man.

Drew is working hard to start his own business selling ice cream and faces his own challenges, including his increasing attraction to the lovely Hannah.

Life brings a lot of complications for Hannah and she’s finally forced to choose between comformity and losing her best friend, or taking a risk and follow her dreams which would mean upsetting her parents, oh and also upsetting her best friend. Will she trust God for all the details? Is it possible that the dreams she has were God’s way of directing her on a new path like her new friend, Drew, suggests?

It’s a Christmas story about  faith, courage, and the dreams God plants in our hearts.

You’ll have to read the story to find out what happens and you’ll enjoy the journey to get there. As a dog, I give it five bones. I strongly recommend you read Sweeter than Ice Cream and give your pet lots of snuggles.

Author Confessions: Gnomebody But You (Book Release)

Nov10
Reading Time: 3 minutes

Author Confessions: Gnomebody But You (Book Release)

Sooo, life has been crazy in my world and some days I’m barely treading water with all I’m trying tt juggle and technology doesn’t always help me like I’d hoped it would.

For instance, I thought, wrongly, that my Christmas novella, Gnomebody but You, was releasing December 1st.

I was wrong. It comes out TODAY!

Here’s the back page blurb:

Love and trouble are brewing at TrueSpark Trucking… Tali Shadowgrace just wants a fresh start. After escaping an abusive ex, she’s moved to a new state, landed a job at TrueSpark Trucking, and is almost convinced she’s safe. But trust? That’s another story. Especially when it comes to men.

Enter Puck Bellpepper—yes, Puck—a man with three non-negotiables for a relationship: she must be shorter than he is, willing to tolerate his twin sister Quincia, and, most importantly, share his faith. When he meets Tali and discovers she works with Quincia, he starts to think his prayers might’ve been answered. (Even if her name does sound like a cartoon villain.)

But when strange “accidents” start plaguing TrueSpark, Puck’s determined to get to the bottom of it…and spend more time with Tali. Is her ex back for revenge? Or is someone else stirring up chaos? With sabotaged trucks, a meddling twin, and a Christmas party that reveals all, Puck and Tali must figure out: Can love bloom when danger’s lurking? And will Tali ever believe that a man like Puck, a gnomebody as sweet as he is quirky, is exactly who she needs?

A whimsical Christian rom-com with a dash of suspense, faith, and holiday magic—perfect for fans of:

  • lighthearted romance,
  • quirky characters, and
  • love stories where the hero’s name is literally Puck Bellpepper.

WHY GNOMES? 

This is a question I often ask myself. I love the gnomes and resisted collecting them for years. I’m not gnome-wild, mind you but since I’m on the short side and my husband isn’t super tall and wears a short beard… well, you get my affinity for gnomes!

The challenge for me was that gnomes, while fictional, are considered to be mischiouvous creatures. They can be considered magical which I don’t believe in because of my faith in Jesus Christ and my publisher won’t go for anything like that. So I decided to try to have fun with the silly names gnomes can have but set aside the unsavory aspects of them that don’t jive with my faith, and create human gnomes. I get to write stories of real life people with a heaping side dish of whimsy.

The hard reality of life can be lightened with the silly names and gnome-like characters and that made them fun to write. And Christmas is a perfect time for a little bit of whimsy, don’t you think?

MY WONDERFUL PUBLISHER

My Editor-in-Chief was willing to give this risky recipe a shot. While there may be nothing new under the sun, there were no inspirational gnome romance stories I could find, much less Christmas ones. Who knows, maybe gnomes will be the new Amish fiction explosion! LOL! An author can wish. I’m grateful that I was given the freedom to try something new and fresh in the world of Christian publishing.

I hope you’ll purchase the book! I have a vareity of other Christmas novellas. I’ll list them below by catagory.

If you enjoyed I’ll be Gnome for Christmas, you’ll probably love Gnomebody but You!

My publisher created a wonderful book trailer for it which you can see here:

OTHER CHRISTMAS NOVELLAS:

All are available in Ebook format. Some can be purchased directly from me in print but they are not offered online in that format with the exception of Operation: Camoflague Christmas.

Historical (Prairie):

Fragile Blessings (I have print copies)

Historical (Regency)

Gabriel’s Gift

The Doctor’s Daughter

A Husband for Christmas (audiobook https://amzn.to/47qOGpI)

Jingle all the Way

Contemporary:

Sugar Cookies and Street Lamps

Pixie’s Almost Perfect Christmas

A Slam-Dunk Christmas  (A spin-off of Whitney’s Vow)

A Tangled Christmas (A spin-off of Whitney’s Vow)

Military (with DeeDee Lake):

Operation: Camouflage Christmas prequel to the Rules of Engagement series (I have print copies)

Gnomes

I’ll be Gnome for Christmas  (I have print copies) 

Gnomebody but You (I hope to have print copies soon) 

WHAT ABOUT 2026?

I have two Christmas novellas in the works already for next year but might still want to add a Gnome-themed one! We’ll see. I  think Puck’s sister, Quincia Bellpepper deserves to find love too. Do you have any suggestions for a fun holiday Gnome title? I’d love to hear your ideas!

REVIEWS 

As always, a simple review on Amazon goes a long way to helping an author as well as telling your friends (whether in person or via social media) about books you enjoy. Word of mouth is the best form of advertising for an author!

Happy Holidays! I hope you enjoy Gnomebody but You! 

Writer Wednesday: Kendra Broekhuis

Nov5
Reading Time: 4 minutes

Writer Wednesday: Kendra Broekhuis

I’m happy to welcome author Kendra Brockhuis to my blog to discuss her writing journey.

When did you decide you would be an author? Was it something you fell into, felt called to…?

My husband and I got married and one month later moved to Guatemala to teach at an English immersion school. I realized the “cool” thing to do when one moves overseas is to start a blog, so I did. This is where my deep love for writing began. While in Guatemala, writing became much more than a way to keep in touch. It was also a way for me to process whatever was happening in my life, including our move overseas, my passage into motherhood, and my grief. I wrote Christian nonfiction articles and social media for about a decade before pivoting to fiction in 2020.

What’s your pet peeve?

I asked my husband for help on this question and he said: “You don’t love clutter.” He’s right. It’s not about having a perfectly clean house—though I do enjoy the two seconds after I’ve cleaned my house that it stays clean—it’s more about holding onto things our family doesn’t use that take up space in our home and make me feel sensory overload.

What was your most embarrassing moment as a writer?

I once visited a book club who’d just read and discussed my book. A few days later, one of the women from that book club posted a review online saying how much she didn’t like it. Readers are very much entitled to their opinions on what they enjoy, but it was slightly embarrassing to rub elbows in the intimate space of a living room with someone who goes on to publicly bash your work.

What has been your most difficult challenge as an author?

See above answer. I love getting to create. I love getting to work with a publishing house of people dedicated to helping me write the stories I want to write! The hard part is learning to be okay with my work not being everyone’s cup of tea. It’s all too easy to focus on the negative, even when you have encouragement coming from people who both enjoy and invest a lot in your work.

How do you process rejections and/or negative reviews?

Rejections are hard because in the writing world, they often come after 6-8 weeks of waiting and checking your phone for email notifications an unhealthy amount of times. Negative reviews are hard, and I’ll stop jabbering about why. Here’s a random list of a few things that help me:

  • Giving myself a day to feel hurt by those things, then opening my computer and getting back to the work that I love.
  • Buffering myself from reviews in general. Author Camille Pagán shared the idea of having someone you trust read your reviews and give you the basics. My husband has done this for me recently.
  • Being around people who “get” the difficulties of writing books—they remind me I’m not alone.
  • Being around people who know nothing about writing books—they remind me there’s a great big world out there I am not the center of, and there’s more to life than this work.
  • Clarifying my motivations and mindset. I am playing the long game in writing and publishing. This requires an attitude of accepting feedback and realizing how much I still have to learn. Also, I’m creating stories for the joy of creating stories. The work is the reward. The most joy I experience as an author is not even reading a positive review, but those precious days of getting to stare at the Word document of my current Work In Progress.

What do you feel is the best success so far in your writing career?

I’m constantly having to redefine success, and maybe that’s a success in itself? Here are a few things that make me feel successful as an author: Being adaptive to the publishing world in order to keep writing. Putting in the time to finish writing an entire novel. Getting to connect with other people—both authors and readers—who love the joy of books.

Creativity and connection—those are things I celebrate as a success!

What is your current work in process?

My next novel is a quirky dramedy called The Housewarming. It’s about a family who moves into a strict HOA neighborhood and, on their first night there, the house next door burns down, sending the block into juicy, what-just-happened spiral of drama.

Bio: Kendra Broekhuis writes stories on life’s heavy stuff with a dose of humor and a lot of love. She is the author of the novels Nearly Beloved and Between You and Us, as well as the nonfiction book Here Goes Nothing: An Introvert’s Reckless Attempt to Love Her Neighbor. For her day job, she stays home with her four kids and drives them from one place to another in her minivan. She and her family live in Milwaukee.

Website: http://www.kendrabroekhuis.com

Newsletter: http://www.kendrabroekhuis.com/newsletter

Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/kendrabroekhuisauthor

Amazon Page: https://www.amazon.com/stores/Kendra-Broekhuis/author/B06W5CRG3K?ref=ap_rdr&isDramIntegrated=true&shoppingPortalEnabled=true&ccs_id=45a40d7e-7426-4551-872e-11065655c2fc

Latest book release: Nearly Beloved with WaterBrook.

Author Confessions: A Firm Foundation (Part III)

Nov3
Reading Time: 4 minutes

Author Confessions: A Firm Foundation (Part III)

Now that I’ve written about the solid need of a firm foundation for life and faith, I figured I should apply this to the craft of writing because it does have application here as well, and it’s good for readers and writers to understand this. You can read the previous two posts here and here. 

There are basic principles of writing that need to be adhered to, unfortuntately for an author, those sometimes change over time when it comes to grammar and style. I will still have people argue with me over not having two spaces between a period and the start of the next sentence but that changed a long time ago and I still sometimes unintentionally add that extra space out of habit.

Any writer needs to understand core principles of story telling, that is true, and they can vary depending on whether you are writing for the secular or Christian market. You can still have a perfectly written book that will not get contracted if the content is not saleable, redundant, offensive, or in the Christian market: theologically in error.

There is a wide variety of faiths out there though so how does an author navigate that? For instance, I had an author who approached me about a story where the female protagonist was a pastor. I told her that personally I had an issue with that and that so would my publisher. I’m not putting down female pastors by any means, but my understanding of Scripture makes that a hard thing to swallow. We brought in a literary agent to discuss the concept and he agreed that for the purpose of selling a novel, there were some markets that would not promote a book like that due to the theological differences between denomoniations. She would not want me as her editor if I had an issue with that.

That was also the reason I wouldn’t write Amish romances when my agent asked me to. “They sell!” She insisted. I told her that while I understood the popularity of Amish inspirational romances, I had a difficult time theologically with some of the Amish which can seem cultish to me. Now that I’ve learned how horrible they are with dogs in their puppy mills, the only way I’d write one would be as one exposing that kind of thing, not romanticizing that religion. I have two traumatized puppies who were going to be killed by the Amish: one didn’t produce enough pupplies and the other one they couldn’t sell. Both are sweet loving dogs who have enriched our lives and challenged us as we have navigated helping them heal from the abuses they endured.

So how does a writer navigate the wide range of denomoniations when writing a faith-based story?

  • Avoid naming any specific denomination.
  • Stay away from denominational practices that are not salvation related and potentially divisive (infant baptism, speaking in tongues to name a few).
  • Focus on the individual faith journey of the main characters sticking close to Scripture when possible even if you never cite a Bible verse.
  • Avoid promoting or glorifying any sinful behavior: drinking, murder, sex outside of marriage, swearing, drug use. That doesn’t mean those can’t be elements of a story or journey to Christ, but they cannot be viewed as desirable.

I need to also mention that authors themselves need to try to live a life that would glorify God. People are watching us and while many of the readers of my books may have never met me face to face, there are those who have, and I might meet some and have no idea that they have read my books and will be making sure I’m trying to live out the faith I write about, even if my characters are not real-life people.

There are authors who have gone astray and when it has become public, usually a more well-known person, their books have been pulled by their publisher and distributers. Not that this hasn’t happend in the Christian music industry as well.

This all goes back to my the original post where we need to be connected to other people lest we become a stumbling block, or an irritant to others. We live our lives best (and write best) when we engage in community.

It is also wise for readers to be evaluating the writing they are injesting. There are several non-fiction authors I will not read because of errors in their theology. Sure, they made lots of money and gained fame through their work, but that doesn’t mean they were theologically correct. I may not always get it right either so I’m not casting stones. We are all held accountable for how we handle the gospel that has been entrusted to us, whether we ever write a book or not. So be wise in all things and make sure you stand on the firm foundation of God’s Word in all you do.

I’ll keeping seeking to do that as well.

Author Confessions: A Firm Foundation (Part II)

Oct27
Reading Time: 2 minutes

Author Confessions: A Firm Foundation (Part II)

In my previous post I started musing about the physical building of a home and how that relates primarily to faith and the church. It was too long so I divided it up and am continuing it here. You can go back and read it here if you missed it.

I wrote about how certain things need to be added to a foundation (physical) as well as spiritual to make it solid and firm.

On the flip side, you can’t add things to faith as essential that God didn’t intend. You can’t add things that are not spelled out in Scripture as esssential to salvation. Issues like worship styles or whether you have drums or not are more the decorations in the house than they are the foundation.

We can get so hung up on things that are not essential that we miss the point that the church is to be unified which gives it strength and power to carry out it’s mission on this earth. How you want to dress it up is fine, but when you add to those foundational issues, it can weaken the foundation.

I’m being deliberately vague here because I don’t want to point out what I might perceive as thelogical flaws in some churches or denominations. We are currently searching for a church home, so it is essential for us to focus on the solid theology. Of course, there are a lot of other things that can bring down a home, or a church  that have nothing to do with the foundation, and those cracks as it were, or flaws in the building, are not so easily discernable.

We all need wisdom to build our faith, marriage, family and churches. Not just physically but spiritually.

On a lighter note, realize that it is the combination of elements (like Paul talking about parts of the body) that make up a house. We need all the parts. Not just rocks but also gravel and sand. However, even a tiny pebble in your shoe can irritate and cause a blister. A large rock in your path can become a stumbling block.

The church works best when it is bound together, strong and immovable, in Christ, and empowered by the Holy Spirit binding us together. When we think we can go it alone, we might be doing more damage than good.

So where are the cracks in your personal foundation of faith? How can you work to make that a firm foundation to live from?