Tag Archive | HOly Spirit

Author Confessions: Wherever You Go – There You Are

Dec29
Reading Time: 2 minutes

Author Confessions: Wherever You Go – There You Are

Christmas is past and the New Year around the corner. Many will try to make resolutions. Fitness, Diet, or other goals will be set. There is nothing wrong with that, but the reality is, changing our externals, while it can feel hopeful, doesn’t always work.

When I was in a band, one of my favorite songs to sing was Mend Me by Big Tent Revival. I think of it every year around this time because it highlights something important–we can’t force change on ourselves. We need the Holy Spirit to be doing the work but in order for that to happen, we need to be humble and submit to Him. Not an easy thing to do. We’d rather get a gym membership than bend our knee.

New Years Eve and this is what I see staring at these faces staring back at me
Sometimes insecure but I know Your love is pure
I am broken – mend me
Over backwards – bending
For the love Your sending

All the places that I’ve been Still I can’t ecscape this life of sin
What I want to do I don’t do what I do I don’t want to do
I am broken – mend me
Over backwards – bending
For the love Your sending

Days have come and days have gone and still I’m under siege. Every day decisions made for which side to allege. Some nights and sit and cry words I can’t erase. All I have in this world is the promise of Your grace

You made the universe and You can mend me

What do you think? Wherever you go – there You are–but for the grace of God we can’t make true changes. Happy New Year!

Author Confessions: The Control Conundrum

Dec15
Reading Time: 6 minutes

Author Confessions: The Control Conundrum

I have been losing my mind lately. Or have I? I had a mild concussion at the end of September and found that intially I would have occassional hiccups in my brain processing, especially when trying to find the right word when I was talking. Guess it’s a good thing I’m a writer, huh? It doesn’t happen when writing and I have more time to process, and hopefully, edit.

I’ve undergone physical therapy, chiropractic, massage, psychotherapy, bio-resonance screening, and have now added cranio-sacral therapy at the recommendation of a dear friend.

I thought things were improving, but then odd things happen and I’m not sure if it’s a brain glitch or a technology issue (or both!).

To make things more confusing we have three addresses. We have our residence in one town with long obnoxious addresses and two others in a nearby town where we have our LLC and are building our home, also with obnoxiously long addresses. Think latitude and longitude. We would prefer to use our new home address (there is a mailbox there!) but even our shop address which has existed for over 40 years doesn’t always show up and isn’t allowed when ordering things online. Even two of our credit cards will not use either of those two addresses! Fed Ex didn’t even attempt to deliver a check order there and sent it back!

I’ve changed addresses online as much as I can, with most going directly to the the new home address since we are there daily. Yes, there is a mailbox. However, the United States Postal Service won’t recognize the address (even if the village and county do) as valid until the house is 80% built. How do you determine that? Not that it matters too much, the mailman will still deliver there.

This past week I ordered something online on my phone and put in our home address (or so I thought) for delivery. Sometimes the automated systems think they know better and correct the address. I used to live on Menomonee Ave in Menomonee Falls over 30 years ago! Somehow my package got delivered across the street from there, but how? And why did the transaction even go through when that was not my billing address for any of my credit cards! ARGH!!!

I didn’t realize the error until I got the notification it was delivered, but hadn’t shown up at my door. I had to drive to the other address, someplace I had never been to before, to collect my package. Thankfully, it was still by the mailboxes and the lobby to that apartment complex was not locked. I had my phone and identification with me in case someone called the police to report me as a “porch pirate!” Just my luck I’d get arrested for stealing my own package.

Too much drama for me and I kept wondering if this was my fault or not. Did my brain just breeze over the numbers (some where correct, just added a 1 at the front) and street name which mirrored the city name? I don’t know but I honestly cried because I feared my brain was playing tricks on me.

I hate feeling helpless. Out of control. Don’t you?

I spent years in a difficult marriage experiencing that daily and staying for a variety of reasons. The main one was that God had not released me from the marriage. When He did, I left with confidence and peace, in spite of what should have been paralyzing fear.

Maybe my brain isn’t fully healed from the concussion yet. In reality I have had several injuries that are impacting it and my body over the years that were never treated effectively. And unlike dementia, I at least know and understand where there are glitches–and when it’s improving.

I just placed another order online and before I could put in my address somehow it put in my old one 50 miles north and finalized the order before I could edit it. I cancelled the order ASAP. I had used PayPal but even PayPal has my new address. I was furious and frustrated but grateful I noticed it (I am trying to be far more diligent!). I placed the order again and just went through the tedious process of putting in my credit card and not giving any automatic fill-in to take place.

The conundrum of control whirled in my brain. Not only am I recovering from a concussion which I hadn’t originally figured was so bad, but also battling technology and a internet that isn’t caught up with my reality (of a new address). A friend reported the same issue when she had moved to their new home and how it took forever for her insurance to even recognize the new address. I’m not alone.

I don’t want to live in helplessness but realize ultimately I don’t even have control of my next breath. I can make decisions but often it is beyond my ability and all I can to is react to events. I can be proactive, and try to make wise choices but even the best laid plans can be foiled by outside forces as we’ve discovered with the building process. Contractors who quit or mess up, forcing delays, and a lot more work on our part. Companies who are slow to respond to requests for information when I’m offering them a lucrative sale of their product. Contractors who take vacation before giving me final paperwork I need for the bank. Throw in holidays, weather, health, and accidents and we can recognize quickly how little control we have over this life we’ve been given.

When I write, I have to make a decision to sit and work. I do some planning, but the characters take over and sometimes surprise me, forcing me to pray for more creativity in crafting a story I hope people will want to read. When writing my latest novella, Gnomebody but You, I had no idea who was doing all the bad things in the story. I was as confused as my main character, Tali Shadowgrace. That was until the perpetrator revealed himself on the page.

In many ways I love the excitement and surprise of the not knowing. Surrendering to God in the creative process of writing.

I don’t always enjoy that in real life. I need to surrender as part of the control conundrum. That’s not a passive helpless thing. Surrender is willful, and active. A posture of recognizing WHO is in control. It’s not me.

The idea of surrender helped me through the final years of my marriage. Surrendering to God and allowing Him to work in and through me as I waited on His perfect timing. If I had pushed for my own way and gone out of God’s will, I might have missed out on the wonderful love and life I have right now.

My body is healing from the trauma of the past (CPTSD from the years of verbal/emotional/financial abuse and physical neglect), and the trauma of the present (concussion). Much of that healing is beyond my control, but I can despair over the confusion, or I can pro-actively submit to God’s healing power as I engage in various treatment modalities. Even with cranio-sacral massage, it’s not a passive thing. It’s physically relaxing but mentally intense work and focus. It’s trusting God to help my body heal itself.

How do you deal with the control conundrum? I haven’t even talked about how that works out with free-will and predestination, and am not going to. God understands and I think in the end, when we get to heaven He will laugh and say “You missed the point.” The focus should always be on Jesus, the great physician, the One Who is in control of the universe and Who we can cling to when life feels out of control more than normal, (since essentially nothing is in our control). Surrendering and trusting in Him makes it easier to bear the confusion and keep me from sinking into despair. I’ll confess, I do still sink for a time until the Holy Spirit reminds me of the truth and that I can trust Him even when it’s confusing and I fear my brain is tripping me up.

I imagine Mary, submitting to God when He told her He chose her to carry a baby out of wedlock. She submitted and rejoiced in the honor, having no idea the way life would unfold for her, and the joy and pain she would endure. Many people in the Bible had no idea how God was using them in the moment, to further His plan of redemption. No life is insignificant. What a wonderful thing to cling to when life is out of control. God is King over the control conundrum, working out His perfect plan in my life, and yours, when we submit to Him. Praying you can cling to that truth during this, and every season, filled with uncertainty and confusion. There is peace resting in God’s control, fueled by His purpose, power, and love.

Author Confessions: When God Imposes Limits

Oct13
Reading Time: 4 minutes

Author Confessions: When God Imposes Limits

In a way I approached this topic when I talked about Emotional Bandwidth so you can check that out if you want, but I’m taking a different approach this time.

We often are told to reach for high and lofty goals. As kids we are told the lie that “You can be anything you want!” It’s a way to encourage creativity and pursuing dreams and passions but the reality is, rising to the top of anything is often part passion, calling, incredibly hard work, and innate ability.

We often focus on the hard work part of things. If you do A, B, and C, you can reach your goal. Reality is that I cannot do any of that on my own volition no matter how much I power through. I need God! Two people can do all the same things with different results because sometimes life intervenes, doesn’t it?

Something simple as taking a vacation to a lovely island resort is foiled  by a broken arm (me two years ago–and we still haven’t gone!). Pursuing a degree but health, or finances, or the inability to grasp the material can keep someone from going that next step.

I’m not talking about making excuses. Many people have overcome amazing challenges or disabilities to accomplish great things: Joni Earekson Tada (paralysis), or Nick Vujicic (no arms or legs), or even Temple Grandin (autism), have overcome, adapted and pursued amazing things. Disability, physical or even mental differences didn’t stop them. Ben Carson never let his skin color or a childhood family distubances and finanical challenges prevent him from going on to be a neurosurgeon and serving as the United States Secretary of Housing and Urban Development.

It’s easy to make excuses and blame other people or events for our inabilty to reach our goals. Slammed doors due to no fault of our own can keep a person from reaching their dream. Or send them on a better path. Sometimes the problems is within us.

The reality is, God tends to use ordinary people to carry out His plans, not just the rich, famous, highly educated, or incredibly talented. Yes, they have a role to play as well, but if your plumber had chosen to teach Philosophy at a college somewhere, who is going to fix your leaking faucet?

Our value is not found in accomplishing big, grand, things for God. A small church of faithful followers is just as important to the kingdom as a large one.

Not every book can be a best-seller no matter how much marketing experts give a formula for how to write it, get it published, and market it. My writing will never be the same as other authors I admire. There are those who love the stories I write. I write first for God.

My thought is this. We, as those who love and worship Jesus Christ, follow Him first. Anything we do, including honoring Him, is only viable through the power of the Holy Spirit dwelling within. When I try, on my own strength, I will likely fail or miss something greater that God wants to do in and through me. He’s the One who opens and closes doors. He’s the One who provides opportunties and may even lead in a direction I hadn’t originally considered. I didn’t aim to be an author when I was in college, or even as a kid. That wasn’t the dream I had for myself, and even then the dream wasn’t what I went to college for because I was practical and discouraged from following that.

But God. I love those words. But God. He is the One who works in and through us to accomplish HIS purposes. Not ours. No lofty ambition. My value and worth doesn’t need that kind of validation–or scrutiny.

I used to serve in leadership in church and taught theology and leadership classes to women. I loved every minute. For years we led a small group in our home and they became family. Now that we’ve moved, we’re searching for a church. My hands are open, palms empty, waiting for God to show us where we are to be. The way He wants to use us in a new family might be different, because the needs of that church might be different and God gifts and calls according to HIS purposes within that church community. We serve others, not ourselves. I need to let go of any sense of entitlement to do the stuff I’ve done before. In a larger church especially, we become a small fish. God may call us to one of those or something medium or small. We’ll see. Someone asked if we were chuch “shopping,” and I said no. We are looking for our home. Our family. God has to make that clear to both my husband and myself. It’s a long process.

I started out talking about God’s limitations because while God opens doors, He sometimes provides detours. That broken arm didn’t prevent any vacation, but a different one where we got to witness to a young man over lunch. I found out that last week I had a concussion so my days are looking different as I navigate healing. In the process, I’ve been able to meet more of my neighbors and share some of the bounty from the Hmongs who farm on our land. I love vegetables but we can only eat so much, so we share with others. Sharing food involves conversations as we listen and get to know those who live around us. We are here in this apartment for a season, but that season can still be rich with seeds planted.

Where or how have you found God imposing limits on you?

 

Author Confessions: The Dangerous Emotion of Hope

May5
Reading Time: 4 minutes

Author Confessions: The Dangerous Emotion of Hope

Why and how could hope ever be considered dangerous?

Hopelessness

Many years ago, I recieved a gift from a wise mentor mom. It was a Christmas candle that spelled out HOPE. She said, “I realized that this is what you need most right now-HOPE.” Now I had faith and hope in Jesus and complete trust in His salvation, but I lacked hope that He who is able, would not rescue me from the painful circumstances of my life. I believed God was good, but doubted He would be good to me. I would reason that there were people far worse off than I was (and therefore more worthy of rescue?), and that in spite of my salvation found in Jesus, I was no more special than anyone else needing help. I didn’t deserve that kind of grace.

Psychology talks about learned helplessness which can lead to hopelessness. The sensation that I had no agency to change my circumstances and therefore I was helpless and hopeless. Depression makes that worse, as well as some chronic health issues. Fatigue, poverty, abuse, can eradicate hope.

When that mom gave me that candle, I began to realize I had abandoned hope. I was hopeless in my situation. Hope wasn’t easily found. That one word HOPE eventually led me down a better path when it refocused on my need for it.

Hope Deferred

We can hope for many things. Rescue, a new home, a long-awaited child, healing from an illness. Nothing is too big or small for God to be concerned with. When we don’t understand His timing, the hope seems so far off, and we can lose hope. Not necessarily to the point of hopelessness, but we can doubt it. Hebrews 11:1 states: “Now faith is the certainty of things hoped for, a proof of things not seen.” Hope is closely tied into our faith in Jesus. We can all struggle with doubt at different points in our lives. Proverbs 12:12 describes it this way: “Hope deferred makes the heart sick, But desire fulfilled is a tree of life.”

Hope is always about a future event or thing. In essence, it is about something deferred. Hope is the present time of expection, but when we lose that expectation it is grief to the soul.

Hope in the Wrong Things

Psalm 33:17 states: “A horse is a false hope for victory; Nor does it rescue anyone by its great strength.” How often do we put our hope in things that don’t last? The perfect spouse, kids, family, eductation, job, car, home, health, our talents and gifts. God guarantees none of those things. There are people living in third world countries that experience greater joy and hope than we do in America because we are faced with so many shiny objects and ideas to put our hope in. Where are you placing your hope? What is it that you truly hope for?

True Hope

The author of Hebrews wrote: “This hope we have as an anchor of the soul, a hope both sure and reliable.” (Heb 6: 19a) I love that image of an anchor, holding us fast to Jesus and all His promises. When we place our ultimate hope in HIM, we can experience great freedom and joy. The apostle Paul wrote: “I pray that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened, so that you will know what is the hope of His calling, what are the riches of the glory of His inheritance in the saints.” (Eph 1:18) What a prayer to pray for yourself and others.

We can hope for good weather for a picnic or family reunion. We can hope that God will heal someone. We can hope for a good night of rest. None of those are inherently bad, but when we expect immediate results then we can be in trouble. If our hope is in God, we will ultimately want HIM above all to be active in leading, guiding and working in and through us. Paul prays in Romans 13:15 “Now may the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, so that you will abound in hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.”

Hope is an anchor but it also gives us wings to head into the future with joy and expectation. Our ultimate hope is our coming face to face with Jesus and hearing “Well done, good and faithful servant.” That should be a hope we strive for, and we can only accomplish that hope by the power of the Holy Spirit who is alive and at work within us the moment we receive Christ as Savior and Lord.

Where is your hope today? Where have you struggled with the dangerous emotion of hope? As human beings, filled with emotions, they can make or break us, but I hope reviewing this will help you recenter on the Source of hope, Jesus.

 “Let’s hold firmly to the confession of our hope without wavering, for He who promised is faithful.”Hebrews 10:13

 

 

Author Confessions: Are Some Sins Worse Than Others?

Apr28
Reading Time: 7 minutes

Author Confessions: Are Some Sins Worse Than Others?

We often elevate certain sins as worse than others, even in the church. Now realize, nothing I’m saying here is to condemn anyone who struggles with issues. We all sin in some way, even if in our thoughts. I’m not exempt from that as much as I’d like to be as a follower of Christ. Even in my best efforts to honor Him I fall short on a daily basis, often without even realizing it.

In Christian fiction we try to not elevate any sin as acceptable. For instance, if a person drinks alcohol to excess, we highlight the negative consequences. My Gothic Regency novels have a statement at the beginning about how some of the drinking mentioned in the story, was a cultural thing and not intended to promote drinking or drunkenness. It was a fine line to be historically correct while not leading someone else into sin. “Well, if Marcus can drink than so can I, after all Susan M. Baganz put it in her novel. (The Virtuous Viscount).

When I started writing about dangerous emotions, I started with anger, because a pastor had preached about how it was sin. I disagree. You can check that out here: Author Confessions: The Dangerous Emotion of Anger.

The reality is, when God created the world, everything was good. There was no sin. God put Adam in headship over Eve, and that was good. Marriage was good. Nakedness was good. Sex was good. Emotions were good. Even mosqitoes were good. The fall corrupted everything, all of creation was impacted. Blood was shed and now we needed to cover our nakedness. Imagine on the Ark, all the animals. They were fed vegitation, not meat. Lions didn’t eat meat back then. All creation was originally designed for a vegitarian diet. After the flood, we were able to eat meat. Animal’s hunted, killed, and consumed prey. I’m not advocating for a vegitarian diet, just stating a biblically accurate historical fact.

Obviously killing animals for sacrifice happened before the flood as did killing other people (Cain and Abel). But no one ate meat until after the floods receded.

I digress but I think it’s important. Sin took everything wonderful and corrupted it. Everything is impacted and as generations go on, we see increases in genetic disorders, and chronic illnesses that were not as prevalent in previous generations. Now some of that might be due to environmental factors, and the food we consume, true, but still, it just shows that things move to disorganization and diease. The Second Law of Thermodynamics states that everything devolves. Now some state thht this isn’t true because the universe is not a closed system (required by that scientific law), however, there has never been any new  information added to our DNA added through natural processes, and our genetic code is devolving not evolving, hence, more physical disabilties. This occurs throughout creation, not just in human beings.

In essesence, sin impacts everything. Not just in our thoughts and behaviors, but everything from our physical well-being to weather.

If sin impacts everything, why do we consider some sinful actions worse than others? Why would a pastor condemn anger, but not addiction to caffiene? (We do serve coffee in our cafe at church). I have one friend who smokes occassionally and drinks occassionally. Her perspective is “I do not want anything like that to control me.” My husband doesn’t drink alcohol because “No one starts drinking planning to become an alcoholic.” While that is true, that does not mean people who drink (even Jesus drank wine in the Bible) are sinners. Scripture states that drinking alcoholic beverages is fine and can be beneficial in moderation. Drunkneess, however, is sin.

Moderation is not something Americans do well at. We are more of a culture of excess.

We could state that obesity is sin–but obesity can have many causes and perhaps only one of them is sin. When I was pregnant I could gain 10 lbs in two weeks without changing my diet. I’ve had Hashimoto’s Thyroiditis and it didn’t matter if my thyroid was high or low, I was tired (not lazy) and gained weight, without changing diet. The problem is, although medical issues can cause weight gain, once those core issues are resolved, doesn’t mean the body lets go of all that fat. There are many other causes for weight gain than overindulgance in food. Saying that, however, does not mean that we should just eat whatever we want, just because we can. I’m guilty of not always making wise choices with food.

Our society has approved of things Scripture clearly states as sin: homosexuality, murder (including abortion), slandar, lies, wife-beating, drugs, drinking, buying favors, injustice. Now, let’s make a distinction with homosexuality as an example. One can have urges and desires and not act on those. It is the act of homosexuality that God condemns. So we can love and embrace a person who struggles with this issue without condoning a behavior.

Why do we elevate some sins over another? Suspected murders are raising money and villifying the person murdered. Lies are whipped up to convict people who don’t agree with a person’s political views even while committing the sins they are trying to charge someone else with. (Isn’t that called gaslighting?)

While I am all for justice, we have seen that perverted as sin impacts humans and their judgement. We all have our biases when it comes to everything, don’t we? How often do we evaluate those in light of Scripture?

Thinking about killing someone is the same as doing the act according to Scripture. Jesus was, as I have said, the first and greatest cognitive behavioral therapist. Thoughts, words, and actions come from our heart and what we dwell on in our minds. They are intimately connected. In many issues, the worst of sin is in our thoughts and minds.

Matthew 5:28: “But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart.”

Matthew 15:19: “…out of the heart come evil thoughts—murder, adultery, sexual immorality, theft, false testimony, slander.”

Matthew 22:37: “Jesus replied: ‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’”

Mark 7:20-22: He [Jesus] went on: “What comes out of a person is what defiles them. For it is from within, out of a person’s heart, that evil thoughts come—sexual immorality, theft, murder, adultery, greed, malice, deceit, lewdness, envy, slander, arrogance and folly.

Luke 6:25: “A good man brings good things out of the good stored up in his heart, and an evil man brings evil things out of the evil stored up in his heart. For the mouth speaks what the heart is full of.”

Some religions focus on big sins, i.e. murder, abortion, sex outside of marriage (adultary and fornication), homosexuality. Some make rules that have nothing to do with sin but they treat it as such: girls must have long hair and wear skirts or dresses, men must have short hair, no makeup, no listening to secular music. No going to movies or having friends who are not of the same religious sect as you are. These are all surface issues though, aren’t they? By the way, the Pharisees did this as well. Some of those sins have negative real life consequences that are more obvious. Other, “lesser” sins can just as equally scar the soul but never be seen or called out.

All sins are equally bad at the foot of the cross.

We need to be careful to judge the sin of others. Judging is another topic. A huge one and not part of today’s post.

The reality is, while we all have a sin problem, and sin contaminates everything in this world, including our thinking and our hearts, we need to be careful and evaluate ourselves before pointing out the sins of others. I have sins I am aware of, battles that go on in my mind. Some of them I verbalize to a therapist or a close friend or two, only those who love and follow Jesus. Otherwise they would not understand. See, I can mistakenly condemn myself for things that are not even sin.

Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind, and with all your strength.

(Matthew 22:37, Mark 12:30 also Luke 10:27 but in a different order).

All of those start with the heart. Our sin is ultimately an internal issue for each of us. What we focus on impacts that greatly. Luke 12:34: “For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.”

So, instead of focusing on sin, perhaps we should focus on our treasure, Jesus Christ. It is only through the power of the Holy Spirit that we are able to transform any of those areas of ourselves impacted by sin: heart, mind, soul, and strength. Our behaviors flow out of that, whether good or bad. We cannot do this on our own strength. When we are focusing on loving God, and seeking Him for His active Presence in our lives, and not what He can give us or what prayers He can answer, then we have the ability to battle our sin and become transformed more and more into the likeness of Christ. Thankfully, when we submit our lives to Christ, and accept His perfect sacrifice on the cross, then we are seen by God as pure and holy as Christ is, even though on this side of Heaven we will still battle sin. We don’t do it alone.

I’m not saying we cannot talk about sin and what God calls sin in the Old and New Testaments. We should. An invisible standard isn’t a help to anyone. Even children need to know where the boundaries are. When God calls something sin it was because He is protecting us. It’s is funny to me how people will get all bent out of shape about divorce (another topic perhaps for another time) but find murder in times of war acceptable. Isn’t murder also sin? Yet King David went to war, but first killed Goliath for mocking God and demeaning His people. Jesus even said divorce was acceptable because hearts are hard. Jesus did not elevate marriage as an idol to be worshipped at the expense of the life and well-being of a wife or husband who is being verbally, physically, or emotionally abused or abandoned by a spouse whose heart is hard. (Check out this article for more). In contrast, adultery by as spouse doesn’t always mean divorce should be the go-to solution.

Why are some sins worse than others? Because it is easier to call out the things we see, the outward behaviors, in others, than it is to deal with the true issue of our own hearts. I’m not going to ask you to expose your own sins here on my blog (you won’t anyway) but maybe it’s time to take stock and spend time in His Word and savor the treasure we have in Jesus so we can be better equipped to battle the sins in our heart.

Author Confessions: Are You F.A.T?

Mar17
Reading Time: 4 minutes

Author Confessions: Are You F.A.T?

This is old stuff for me but the older I get the more I need to remind myself that I didn’t understand some of this when I was younger in my walk with God, so I thought I would give everyone a pop-quiz today. Are you? F.A.T? Faithful,  Available, and Teachable?

First of all why would this matter? God has designed each and every one of us to bring His light and truth to a lost and hurting world. I was there once, so were you. Or maybe you still are. In order for God to use us we need to be F.A.T. Not in inches around the waistline but in our heart’s desire to honor the God who died to rescue us from the consequences of our sin–death. Eternal seperation from Him, in hell. There are only two places we go when we die – Heaven or hell. Everyone is on the path to hell until we make that decision to submit our lives to Jesus and wholeheartedly follow Him.

So here are the three main things we need:

Faithful

Are you faithful in seeking God? Reading His love letter to us in the Bible? Are you pursuing a life that would honor Him? Do you pray not only to ask for requests but to listen for the leading of the Holy Spirit in your life? Do you confess your sins? Do you seek out other believers to do life with? (Hopefully, this is in a healthy, Bible teaching church). God calls us to seek Him. James 4:7-10 says:

Therefore, submit to God. But resist the Devil, and he will flee from you. Draw near to God, and He will draw near to you. Cleanse your hands, sinners, and purify your hearts, double-minded people! Be miserable and mourn and weep. Your laughter must change to mourning and your joy to sorrow. Humble yourselves before the Lord, and He will exalt you.

 

Submit to God. Draw near to Him and He promies to draw near to you. The Holy Spirit’s ability to work in and through us is hindered when we grieve Him by ongoing deliberate sin. We are all guilty and need to humble ourselves before the Mighty God over all.

So on a scale of 1-10, how faithful are you?

Available

Most of us don’t have a lot of free time in our lives to set aside. It can be a challenge to make time to slow down and talk to God, listen for His voice, and then do what He asks us to do. God sometimes gives big asks but much of the time He wants these small acts of obedience. Got a nudge to call someone? Call them! Did God tell you to write a letter or send a card (rather than a text or quick email?). Do it. You have no idea how those words  might arrive just as someone needs them. Are you called to sacrificially give money or time? Do it. Available isn’t always about being willing to carve out a 15 minute prayer time and read one chapter in your Bible. It is tuning in to what He is asking you to do right now. Sometimes during my day when I’m overhwelmed with all that needs to be done I pray, “God, what is the next best thing to do?” Whatever I am led to do I do. He doesn’t often speak to me in words.

On a scale of 1-10, how available are you?

Teachable

I would suspect that most of us have been to school and even graduated at least from high school (even if you got a graduate equivalent degree). Many of us have attended classes at the School of Hard Knocks as we’ve faced consquences of choices: some might be our own choices, some might be due to the choices of others. Unfortunately this kind of “being taught” is not what I’m referring to. If it were we would all raise our hands “YES!”

Being teachable goes back to being faithful. We are teachable when we read Scripture, hear good Biblical teaching, and seek God, listening for His Holy Spirit to lead us, but only if we obey what we learn. We can be taught a lot of things but not put them into practice. For instance, my husband, at my request, taught me how to do an oil change and rotate the tires on my car. I only wanted to understand it and have no intention of ever doing it again if I can help it! I was teachable and I did do it once. I could probably muddle through doing it again (but need help tighting the bolts on the tires!)

When we read something in Scripture that we don’t recall seeing before, do we take it to heart as something to apply to your life? When someone in authority comes to you with a concern over a pattern of sin, do you listen, weight it carefully, and seek repentance and reconciliation?

Being teachable is having a posture of humility to follow where God leads even if it is uncomfortable, unconventional, or counter-cultural. He will never lead you to sin.

On a scale of 1-10, how teachable are you?

Being F.A.T. is a good thing when it comes to walking with God and being used for His purposes on this earth. Even just writing this was a good reminder to me to evaluate just how I’m doing in these areas. I find I always have room for growth. How about you? How F.A.T. are you? 

Author Confessions: The Dangerous Emotion of Inadequacy (aka Imposter Syndrome)

Jan13
Reading Time: 4 minutes

Author Confessions: The Dangerous Emotion of Inadequacy (aka Imposter Syndrome)

I hadn’t heard of this until relatively recently. Imposter Syndrome is in reality feeling inadequate but it applies more to professional work. It is where someone feels like a fraud. Not good enough. Not worthy. Inadequate.

We’ve all experienced feelings of inadequacy at some point or another. Starting a new job, or perhaps that first job right out of college or in an internship. I felt totally inadequate to work as a therapist. I never got licensed so I never called myself a psychotherapist although I have counseled people and had the training. Maybe Imposter Syndrome kept me from pursuing that further? When I did counseling in my job it was while I was under supervision and getting my hours so I didn’t need the “title” or license to do the job. When I did it in women’s ministry, I definitely felt inadequate given the state of my private life.

When I served in leadership at my church and taught classes I experienced inadequacy for the same reason but since I was honest about my inadquacies and was encouraged to do the work, I soon lost that sense of being an imposter.

When  I first taught classes at writer’s conferences I was barely published myself so I was learning a lot as I prepared to teach. I learned and then was qualified to share that with others and since I was being paid I didn’t feel too inadequate.

Sometimes inadequacy is a minimalization of the gifts God has given and perhaps if there is a pendulum swing between that and prideful arrogance, then I think inadequacy is the lesser of the dangerous emotions and I probably will address that at some point.

If we are trusting God and following Him we are assured He will equip us for every task, even if we don’t feel adequate to handle it.  The apostle Paul experienced this. In 1 Corinthians 15:9-10 says: For I am the least of the apostles,  who am not fit to be called and apostle, because I persecuted the church of God. But by  the grace of God I am what I am, and His grace toward me did not prove vain…”

Inadequacy can resolve to humility when we recognize that we are never perfect enough for the work God has called us to. Whether it is writing, preaching, counseling, teaching, parenting, running a business or any other job or task. When we lean on Him and are honest about what we don’t know, or that we are not an expert, we can avoid feeling like an imposter. If God calls us, then to stay mired in an emotion of inadequacy is denying the power of the Holy Spirit to use us as He sees fit.

Now that doesn’t mean there are not imposters out there. There are. I struggle to trust those who claim expertise in any area since that tends to exclude a teachable spirit which is essential to our lives. Not that I want to be corrected, that is never fun, but if I want to be good at anything God leads me to, then I should be open to correction and growing in that area. God doesn’t call us to a task and then expect us to not actually work at that task. He won’t do it for us but He will help us and equip us as we go.

This is why someone who has just come to Christ can zealously share the gospel without even having read the entire Bible much less attended seminary. He has enough for the task ahead. Even aspiring writers can encourage other writers with things they have learned.

I’ve taught on leadership but don’t claim to be a great leader or know everything about the subject. I’ve taught theology classes but don’t know everything there is to know about God and the study of God. I’ve taught on writing and editing but I still have so much to learn and have not mastered everything. In everything I’ve always admitted up front that I am fallible. I don’t know it all, but hopefully I know enough to help someone else on the path to learning about the subject. Now that doesn’t mean I won’t teach what I know with authority and confidence but doing that I don’t experience emotions of anxiety and inadequacy, nor pride. I can do the job God gave me to do.

A few years back I struggled with whether I would write again after a brutal tangle with an editor. That book finally released and I love it but hate to pick it up to read it because of the trauma of that interaction and the battles that ensued to that particular book published. The dangerous emotion of inadquacy almost had me quitting it all. I persevered, got the book published and have gone on to write others since then. I will admit there is a greater fear of failure now than there had been previously.

Have you ever experienced inadequacy or imposter syndrome? How have you dealt with that?

 

Author Confession: The Dangerous Emotion of Jealousy

Jan6
Reading Time: 4 minutes

Author Confession: The Dangerous Emotion of Jealousy

Jealousy is another emotion we often downplay and don’t confront in others, much less ourselves. It’s a great tool in romance novels because jealousy can cause people to do things that create conflict and that’s always great for a story.

It’s not so good in real life. I’ve struggled with jealousy throughout my life. I’m sure you have to if you’re honest. It’s an emotion. Even God gets jealous but then He has good reason to be when His children seek worthless idols to distract them from a relationship with Him. We are all guilty of that. So when God is jealous and gets angry because of that jealousy, it is acceptable and not a sin.

For His created people, it is sin if we let ourselves simmer there. Jealousy is coveting what someone else has. The tenth commandment states: “You shall not covet your neighbor’s house; you shall not covet your neighbor’s wife or his male servant or his female servant or his ox or his donkey or anything that belongs to your neighbor.” Exodus 20:17. Interesting that it does not disparage the desire for the gifts God has given us. Much like our Lord, we can be jealous for time with our spouse or children. As long as that emotion doesn’t lead us into sin.

I can drive around and admire homes without being jealous or wanting that particular home, or one like it. But if I am jealous and desire that home then I’m sinning because I am not content with what God has given me.

I’ve been jealous of other authors. Their successes. Their writing style. The big publishing contract. But I stop myself for a few reasons from dwelling there. Here’s why:

  • God gave them a unique voice and calling and to elevate theirs as superior is to denigrate the work HE has done in and through me.
  • Big book sales do not always equate to eternal impact. If I want to make money, I could write the stuff that really sells, but that is not what God has called me to do.
  • If I believe God has called and led me on the path I am on, it is wrong for me to compare that with the path He has someone else on.
  • I have no idea the sacrifices that person has made to get where they are. As most don’t know mine either.
  • If God blesses another author with a bigger sales and paycheck than myself and we are both being obedient to Him, then I should rejoice in His work because He knows the plans He has for all of us to use for His glory.

So how do I fight the tendency to jealousy? I stop and celebrate what God has done for that author. When it comes to Christian publishing, we are all on the same team! We don’t need to be competitive or one up another. That’s why I rejoined a writer’s group – so I could be a cheerleader and also be encouraged on my journey. I’ll admit sometimes I feel inferior no matter how many books I’ve written.

What about jealousy in other areas of life? We can elevate people based on outward appearances but we may not be aware of the dysfunction behind the scenes. Maybe a family looks great on the outside, perfect husband and wife and kids with no problems. At least for now. That you know of. Or someone with a great career, but again, we don’t know the sacrifices or maybe even the heartache that is going on deep inside. Good things come with a cost.

Being jealous is telling God that what He has given me isn’t good enough. It’s like the second son in the story of the prodigal son (Luke 15:11-32) who is upset that the father never threw a party for him but gave one for the returning wastrel. Jesus told a parable about a master paying laborers the same even though some didn’t work as long. (Matthew 20:1-16) and likened this to the Kingdom of Heaven. Jesus can distribute gifts through the Holy Spirit and blessings as HE sees fit and I have no right to be angry or jealous. My job is to honor and obey HIM and not seek other things, including a lucartive publishing contract or huge sales. If I submit to the Jesus and let the Holy Spirit reign in my heart and life than I have reward enough.

When I stand before the throne of God someday He is not going to ask me why my kids didn’t turn out as accomplished as someone else’s kids, or why my house wasn’t bigger or better, or cleaner! He’s not going to judge me on my BMI or the brand of clothing I wear. He won’t care how many people read this blog or how many books I wrote or sold, or how many people follow me on social media.

He will only care that I repented of my sins and put my faith in Jesus Christ alone.

There will be rewards for the obedience and forgiveness for my failures, even the ones I’m not aware of. That’s grace.

We all stand equal at the foot of the cross. It is a level playing field and the rest is smoke and mirrors. Where is my devotion? God is jealous for me to worship only Him not book sales. The dangerous emotion of jealousy can impact all of us in various ways. How do you deal with it?

Author Confessions: The Dangerous Emotion of Fear

Dec30
Reading Time: 5 minutes

Author Confessions: The Dangerous Emotion of Fear

Yes, I know it’s the end of the year so why couldn’t I write something more uplifting than about fear? It’s what was on my mind.  Why is fear dangerous?

When I was in my undergraduate classes, I had a professor challenge us to spend a few days being paranoid about everything. This wasn’t an assignment we turned in. The next week at class he asked us how it went. I informed him that I refused to do the assignment.

“Why?” he asked.

“Because I believe that if I start trying to look at the world that way it could easily become a habit—one I do not want.”

He nodded his head and acknowledged that my reason was wise.

I used to work with adults who suffered from chronic paranoid schizophrenia. Some heard voices that weren’t there. Most of the time these voices were mean and inspired fear. Living with this kind of illness and the fear that accompanies it, is a hell of it’s own.

Now paranoid schizophrenia is an extreme. Of course, there are various other phobias people can have and some area situational. Fear of heights. Fear of snakes. Fear of flying….

In some cases, those are protective. I have begun to realize I’m not really afraid of heights. I’m afraid of falling from that height. When I realize that and need to fight that fear I can take steps to see that I’m safe. OK. Let’s be honest. Falling isn’t the real problem. It’s the landing.

While schizophrenia is a mental illness with what we can best determine to be a chemical change in the brain that happens under stress, usually in the late teens or early 20’s, it is forgivable when someone suffers from this.

It struck me lately that I battle my own fears. In spite of my noble refusal to act paranoid lest I become fearful defense given to my professor, I have lapsed into that kind of thinking quite unintentionally.

Most of those fears are future oriented. The events haven’t happened. When my husband had surgery recently, we had talked candidly about the “what if’s” beforehand all the while praying that the outcome would be good.

I didn’t sleep well the night before. He came through surgery fine, and it wasn’t until we were heading home that I wanted to cry. Sure, I hadn’t had enough sleep so that certainly was a factor.. It had snowed and the roads were slick, another stressor. I was also recovering from my own surgery. However, at the core of those tears was the realization that I had been more fearful of losing my husband than I had thought. I was so grateful he had come through that so well.

Matthew 6:34 says: “…don’t worry about tomorrow, because tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.” This is after reminding the reader that God is in control of all the things we tend to worry about: food, shelter, clothing, and even our lives.

The phrase “fear not” appears in the Bible 170 times.

1 Peter 5:6-7 says: “Humble yourselves, therefore, under the mighty hand of God, so that He may exalt you at the proper time, casting all your care on Him, because He cares about you.”

Philippians 4:6 says: “Don’t worry about anything, but in everything, through prayer and petition with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses every thought, will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus. Finally brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable—if there is any moral excellence and if there is any praise—dwell on these things.”

Notice that Scripture doesn’t just say “don’t worry or don’t be anxious, or do not be afraid,” It gives us a cure. I mentioned in another post that Jesus was the first cognitive behavioral therapist, and this is again what happens. The anxiety we feel, comes from the thoughts we have, and often when we are anxious our thoughts of God are not worthy of Who He is.  2 Timothy 1:7 states: For God has not given us a spirit of fearfulness, but one of power, love, and sound judgment.

Someone reminded me recently that when I am anxious about things in the future, like the plans we have for 2025, it robs me of being present here and now. All my focus is on what might go wrong instead of thinking about what is true right now, today. The good, the honorable, the just, the pure, the lovely, whatever is commendable, moral excellence, anything worthy of praise. And to be grateful.

This gets back to what I started out with. If I focus on all the things that are wrong or scary and think in a paranoid manner, then I will develop a habit. Not quite as serious as a paranoid schizophrenic, but still problematic. When I fail to focus on God, right now, and trust who HE says He is, then I’m slipping into the sin of unbelief.

Isn’t God big enough to help me through if something goes wrong in any of the areas I tend to obsess about in my mind in an unproductive way? I don’t usually spend time thinking about losing my husband because I don’t want to take away from the joy of the moments where he is with me now, making memories, laughing, and living a life of gratitude for the God Who brought us together.

The same applies for other areas where there are going to be choices and changes in 2025. I have little control of how much of that unfolds, yet God is already there. I can put my trust in Him.

Just like some might say that anger or lust are “sins”, which I debunk in previous posts: fear, worry, or anxiety are not either. They are emotions that God has given. In some instances, like a fear of heights, theyccan be helpful to protect us. If they are keeping us from living a full life in Christ however, we might need help to get past those fears that are not logical, or even real.

I’m not shaming anyone who struggles with anxiety. Some of that could be due to a chemical imbalance (like some have with too much coffee!). We all experience them. It’s what we do with them that matters. Being anxious or fearful will not keep you from heaven when we are submitting our lives to Jesus Christ, but those emotions can keep us from experiencing the peace and joy He offers us.

Luke 2:10-11 recalls the moments after Jesus’s birth when shepherds heard the news from angels: “But the angel said to them, “Don’t be afraid, for look, I proclaim to you good news of great joy that will be for all the people: Today a Savior, who is Messiah the Lord, was born for you in the city of David.”

Do not be afraid. Jesus came to the earth to bring us Himself as the punishment for all our sins. After He rose and ascended to heaven He gave us the Holy Spirit to indwell and help us on our journey home to be with the Lord. I want to fully experience that joy, don’t you? Then we can join the angels in singing, “Glory to God in the highest heaven, and peace on earth to people He favors!” The dangerous emotion of fear doesn’t need to be controlling us if we focus on Him.

How do you work through your fears and strive to be present in the everyday moments of life?

Author Confessions: Savoring the Sacred

Jun3
Reading Time: 4 minutes

Author Confessions: Savoring the sacred 

With the advent of social media, we went from blogs sharing life, ideas, hacks, and recipes, to people sharing their breakfast or a new outfit or doing fun things. Periodically, you’d get the serious: the accidents, the terrible diagnosis, or the cries for help financially or emotionally.  

In some ways, now we get it all and at a much faster pace. And often the mundane that sometimes puzzles me. People sharing about things that really don’t matter much in the scheme of life: like imitating a dance move.  

When I started to look for a new life-partner, I did tell a few of my closest friends but no one else. When I found one who ticked all the right boxes, I still didn’t share with many people. It’s weird to say, in your fifties, “I have a boyfriend.” I also wanted the relationship to proceed without undue expectations from others.  

In many ways, it felt sacred. I wanted to savor the sacred. I wanted to nurture the relationship without the outward stressors or awkwardness. Kind of like when I start spring plants in the basement. Eventually I start exposing them to the outside during the day to “harden” them, in hopes that when I finally plant them in the ground, they will thrive.  

My new relationship was tender, strange, and wonderful. Tender because we had both come out of deeply painful marriages. Strange because we were both learning a new person and defining a new way of relating and developing trust. Wonderful, because we continually saw God at work in so many ways that six years later, we still frequently recount His work. Savoring the sacred.  

There are many musings that could find their way to social media as I ponder and process life but often they remain unspoken, and might even make it to my prayer journal, but nothing beyond that. Especially as I ponder the things of God. Perhaps what I’m reading in Scripture, or something that comes up as my husband and I discuss life and the craziness of the world around us.  

There are many profound and oftentimes silly interactions in our marriage that will likely never be shared online, again, because I want to savor the sacred. There is deep joy and love, but it doesn’t come to social media because in many ways, I’m savoring the sacred.  

On Memorial Day I went outside to my backyard. I had been working and the sun was shining, grass still damp from recent rains, and the birds were flitting around as my dogs explored. Momma Robin protested when they got too close to her nest. There was peace and quiet in our little slice of heaven, a peace I had never had a chance to enjoy in my previous homes. I don’t deserve this. There are people around the world struggling to survive, living through the uncertainty and terrors of war or dictatorial regimes. Yet, somehow, due to the sacrifices of those who fought and died for our freedom here in the United States, I am able to experience this peace. Savoring the sacred.  

I can’t thank those who have gone before. I can thank God for His blessing and I recognize that it could all end in a moment. Natural disasters, crime, accidents. Life is filled with horrible catastrophes that can befall anyone without notice. Tornados, hurricanes, earthquakes, and more. We live in a world where control is a myth. We think we can control outcomes, even medically, and have unrealistic expectations quite often about how things should go. Life should be fair.  

Justice would say my life is unfair. I don’t deserve to sit in a comfy chair in a climate-controlled home with sweet doggies at my side, writing this. I am a sinner. I fail too often, even if only in my thoughts which are not always as kind and compassionate as I would like them to be. Without my faith in the salvation bought for me at the cross by Jesus Christ, and the work He has done in my heart and life through the sanctifying work of the Holy Spirit, I would be toast. So, I savor the sacred because life is fragile and transient.  

Really good people suffer horribly. Consider Job and his suffering. Even when life is hard, God has and always will be at work behind the scenes. So, savor the sacred.  

I’m not saying that those going through those hard times shouldn’t be sharing. I’ve been encouraged and blessed by those who have shared God’s work in the midst of their struggles. There is a time and a place for that, maybe even to only a close few. Obviously, I’m not an influencer dancing and singing and coming up with some kind of schtick to get clicks or more thumbs up on my posts.  

I have loftier goals. I want to live a life (and write books) that honor God and give Him the glory. I can’t do that without tuning into His Holy Spirit—again, savoring the sacred. That might mean I need to set down my phone more instead of getting lost in the vortex of all those posts, reels, videos, and images. I’m working hard at putting down my phone to be present in the moment when I’m with others.  

How about you? How can you spend more time savoring the sacred?